"Very direct," he said as if noting something interesting about her.

"Well you wrote something on a napkin for somebody to find, I found it, we're kinda in this together now."

"Okay Keegan, I can be direct too, I want to die because this world is shit, and every time something good happens, it's all overshadowed by bad, it's a never-ending cycle. Writing that note was me justifying this to myself, I didn't want anyone to reply because now you're involved in a mess you really shouldn't be involved in. One look at you and I know this is the craziest thing you've ever had to deal with and I'm sorry for that, right now I'll happily walk away, right now there's nothing keeping you attached to me."

She full-on glared at him.

"Don't do that" she snapped.

"Don't stand there and tell me what I can and can't take, I'm seventeen years old, not some small child who needs to be wrapped up and protected, a coward would have left that napkin on the train and forgotten all about it, but I'm not one. You've brought me into this now and I'm not just going to leave when clearly you need someone, you might not have wanted me, but I'll have to do."

Noah blinked twice.

"For someone who just met me, you're kinda intense Keegan."

Good, she'd surprised him, Keegan would make it her mission to surprise Noah at every opportunity.

"Yeah I am, but I'm not here to talk about me if I wanted to make my life about me I'd be sitting in a dull classroom right now learning things that are going to somehow make me more valuable for society."

The new Keegan didn't take any prisoners, she'd always worked well with goals and now her sole purpose had redirected from pleasing everyone and keeping the peace to saving this stranger. She'd never been entrusted with something quite as massive, and she needed to do it right. She'd read somewhere whilst researching for a mental health project that people who wanted to commit suicide didn't want their lives to end, they wanted the pain to end. Noah claimed he had nothing an nobody to live for, he needed someone to talk to him and remind him what life could be like.

"So I'm going to tell you what's going to happen now, firstly I need to call my Mum, if you have any ideas on how I can explain getting off my morning train, not going to school and then not going back home, I'm open to suggestion. Then you're going to talk to me, not act just talk."

She looked at her phone, it was 9.30 am, registers weren't submitted until 10.am. She had a plan, it was something she wouldn't have done unless she really needed to. People often said she sounded a lot like her Mother.

"I'm going to call in sick, pretend to my be my Mum and then no one will be suspicious, I'll catch the afternoon train like always," she announced to Noah.

He raised his eyebrows, pulling the drawstrings of his hood so that his face was hidden better.

"Go for it Keegan, you seem to be the one in control now." a hint of sarcasm laced his words, but she ignored it. Before she could lose her nerve she searched her contacts for the attendance school number and dialled.

"Hello, this is Alberta Girls School, Shirley Hughes speaking, how can I help?"

She made her voice slightly deeper.

"Caroline Tate speaking," she said. "I want to report my daughter's absence please."

Keegan could hear tapping on a keyboard.

"Her name and form please?" asked Shirley.

"Keegan, Keegan Tate in form 11L." 

"And what's wrong with Keegan today?"

"She has a very high fever so I didn't want to send her in."

"Okay, that's fine I've noted that down for you, thank you for reporting the absence."

"Thank you."

She put the phone down feeling somehow victorious, was this how rebellious  people felt all the time? 

Right now, she felt like she could do anything, she turned off her phone not wanting any more distractions and turned back to Noah.

"Okay that's taken care of, walk with me?" she asked it like he had a choice but he had brought her here, so she knew he would follow, she began walking and sure enough, he fell into step with her.

"I find it incredibly sad that you would want to end your life, I've gotta admit the thought has never crossed my mind as a serious consideration, and I get it, whatever has happened to you has made you want to fight against the basic human instinct to stay alive." her legs were tired, the park was mostly deserted, Keegan walked over to a large oak tree and sat down not caring if a layer of mud would coat her skirt, Noah joined her.

"What I want to do isn't a decision I've made lightly, you were right about what you said before, I want the pain to stop, but every time I think about life and what's ahead all I see is emptiness, I'm not going anywhere or doing anything."

"I feel the same way sometimes," she mumbled. "I'm not this kind of person you were right about what you said before, this isn't something I would ever do, but I don't know, reading your napkin made me take off those rose-tinted glasses I hide behind to pretend everything is perfect when it isn't, my life is boring not because it has to be but because I'd rather live a boring life than live one where I can get hurt."

Noah had closed his eyes, he was leaning back onto the tree and Keegan received her first opportunity to properly study his features without looking like she was gawping, she went to a girls school but that didn't stop her appreciating true beauty when she saw it, odd she knew to think of features that somehow worked as beautiful but she couldn't help herself. This was a situation that she could have only hoped to read about before today, Noah could have easily matched the cutout princesses that went to her school, the Ken doll to their Barbie with his curls and dimpled smiles.

How could someone be so unhappy?

"Just for now Keegan, can you do me a favour, talk to me about you, when you're trying to think of things to hold onto it's nice to know what other people treasure, just talk for a moment and I'll listen then I swear I'll answer your questions, you must have a lot."

Talking wasn't her forte.

But then again helping suicidal beautiful boys wasn't either.

So she would do this one thing.

No one really listened these days, they acted like they cared about the words that came out of her mouth, at least her parents did but really it was more of an inconvenience. In their opinion she wasn't someone with complex feelings, they could always be sure that she was steadily getting on with whatever she needed to be doing. Ashley and Sarah were her friends from school but that's all they were, school friends around in her lessons but never there outside. Keegan realised as she had been thinking, Noah hadn't said a word. His eyes were closed and it was only then that she noticed how pale he had become, he hadn't looked like that when she'd first come across him.

"Noah?" she said uncertainly, maybe he'd just fallen asleep but something told her he wasn't just sleeping.

She approached him, shaking his shoulder.

"Noah!" she shouted louder.

It was then that she noticed the glint of foil coming out of his pocket, heart pounding she took out two packets of painkillers.

They were completely empty.