To My Little Fairy,

You must be surprised on receiving this. I know we casually told that we will be ceasing the letters as it gives us an excuse to say things in a way because of which we keep several thoughts unsaid in front of each other.

I know I agreed, and I will keep my word. I will rather let you know what I am thinking daily than simply penning them down, but I needed to write this.

The day I spent with you, when I held you to myself in front of the whole world, letting them know that you belong to me, was a dream I was incapable of imagining.

We talked, we fought, we laughed. We loved.

There was a time during the picnic when you fell asleep on my shoulders again, but this time, it was different. It felt different to me. Not because you were so close, not because your soft breaths warmed the skin of my throat in a manner that sent shivers down my spine at the level of intimacy you would only ever share with me.

No, it was because of the way you so easily fell asleep. That ease spoke of the enormous trust you have placed on me.

The trust that in your most vulnerable state, I will keep you safe. Trust, that you can rely on me.

I found that trust addictive.

Do you wish to know my dreams? I avoided that question whenever you asked it, there was a reason for it. I believe I should be able to tell it to you now.

When I understood what we felt, when I understood how bewitched I was by your soul, the day you asked me what marriage was, I was stuck by the realization of what I wanted in this life.

I went to my father that day, sincerely asking him to teach me his business that I would inherit. He was amazed at the hard work I put in, in the way I aggressively surpassed his sphere and took our business to the next level. He suspected, but never asked, and I never said. I took the laurels of my brilliance and wealth with a smile, keeping the reason captured in my heart.

It was for you. It was for the life I wanted to live with you. I worked, so that I could provide for you, make sure that you live with me in the way I see befitting the stature you have. And for that, nothing less than magnificent could do.

My dreams were simple Love, so humble in comparison to the grand declarations of heroes that you are so fond of reading in the romance novels you like. I was afraid that I would have let you down if I shared those with you.

I dream of waking up in the bed with you, your body so entwined with mine that the imprint of it stays with us throughout the day. I want to see your sleep-stained eyes as you wake up with me, that soft smile and rumpled hair. I want to argue with you on which meal we should be having, I want us to fight over which carpet would suit the living room the best.

I dream of sitting on the couch, with you tucked against me as we read a book, I want to have the intimacy of walking into the bathing room when you lay soaking in the tub as I sit beside and talk to you.

I want to see your stomach become heavier with our child, to smile at each other in wonder when we feel her kick. To stay up having sleepless nights, tending to our baby, to worry about the school we would send her to.

I wish to grow old with you.

I wish to follow you in your death when we both become wrinkly and frail.

See? Nothing grand, no big ambitions.

I just want you.

Why?

Because I was born to love you. I born for you. There is no other purpose for me in this realm if you don't exist in it.

Did you know? I had even started to design a room for you in my house? It has been completed a long time ago but I still wait to take you there. Its yours my Love, a room just for you, a place that even I wont intrude. A place, I am sure, you will love.

But now, I decided to share these dreams with you, for something happened to me the day we spent together. I understood that the dreams, though still the same, did not weigh in on the emotions your maturity would evoke in me. The way your reciprocation might change me. And I have changed.

Don't ask me about it yet, I promise to let you know on the day of our wedding. Just wait a year, no just wait 10 more months Love, I'll tell you about it.

PS : I know you are worried about my headache but it does not seem to be due to any health issue. I did get it checked and the symptoms are too varied, with no definite trigger or cycle to it. I think I might be consuming something randomly which is leading me to have these bouts. I am restricting the normal food that I take and the source from it. So please do not worry.

I plan to take care of myself to stay strong. After all as you said, rather than dying for your love, I want to live it with you.

Only Yours

Taehyung.

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