+this gonna be a long ass ride lol

Jisoo's point of view

__________________________________

[Past]

"Joshua!"

I looked over my shoulder and saw Sojin was smiling while walking towards me.

"Hey.", I said when she arrived and she quickly took a seat beside me, on the bench.

I breathed out and a heat came out from my mouth as the weather here, in US was very cold eventho its not winter yet.

Then, I brought my focus back to the guitar in my arms. I played some basic notes as I stared at the new people around my new surrounding.

I wonder what Yeeun is doing right now.., was what I thought at that moment.

"Joshua, Grey and his guys are having a party tonight. Will you come with me?", Sojin said excitedly while gave me an admired look.

I let out a sigh then said, "Why should I? Its troublesome you know."

"Awww~ please..? You know how rare is it for me to got an invitation to Grey's party right? I am really happy when he invited me tho. Please, please.. come with me, okay?", Sojin tried to convince me but I still stick with my decision.

"No, Sojin. You also know that, that guy and me dont have that friendly relationship with each other, right? So quit it.", I replied and shifted my gaze back on my guitar.

I played some notes on the guitar's strings while thought of Han Yeeun, my bestfriend. One and only.

I miss you, Yeeun-ah.., I thought with a small smile plastered on my face as I stared up on the light sky.

I heard Sojin sighed then she leaned back on the bench.

"Tch. I even helped you with everything since you came here. And now.. you cant even help me for this little wish of mine? Wow, youre so kind, Joshua.", Sojin said in a anger tone and she crossed her arms on her chest while glared at me.

I stopped my action on my guitar then turned my head towards her and asked, "Did you just blackmailing me..?"

Sojin shrugged then looked ahead, avoid making eyes contact with me.

I sighed then looked at Sojin.

"Sojin, I'm sorry but.. no means no.", I said calmly then leaned back on the bench after I put the guitar beside the bench.

Sojin clicked her tongue then pouted.

"Okay then! I'm just going there alone! Its not like I cant take care of myself right?! I'm going. Bye.", she said, sulking then stood up while still crossing her arms on her chest then took a glance at me, still hoping a positive reaction from me.

I sighed and looked up at her.

"I will treat you to an icecream to make it up.", I exclaimed and also got up from my seat.

Sojin's eyes lighten up like a little kid then she nodded happily,"Deal!"

I just shook my head and granted her a smile. I took my guitar with me and both of us walked away, searching for any available icecream store.

When we saw one, we quickly went into the store and ordered two piece of a cone ice cream. I grabbed the papermint flavour and gave it to Sojin, who already eyeing the ice cream from the moment she stepped into this store.

I chuckled when I saw her reaction. She furrowed her eyebrows at me as she was confused as why I was laughing at her.

"You look like a stupid kid."

"Shut up you! Its because I am meeting my one and only 'child'.", she answered as she was referring to the papermint ice cream that was in her hand.

I just rolled my eyes and turned my head as the counter person was handing me my order.

It was a chocolate milk flavour. I smiled as I took it and eyeing the ice cream happily.

Its Yeeun's favorite, I thought as I recalled Yeeun's face when she was eating ice cream with this flavour. She looks so cute with the chocolate's stain all around her lips.

"Wait, Joshua. Arent your favorite is melon with cherry on top?", Sojin asked as she looked at my choice of ice cream, weirdly.

I looked at her then shrugged, "This is my favourite too."

After that, both of us walked towards one of the empty tables then each of us took a seat.

I took off my guitar's bag and leaned it on beside the table. Then I turned my head and gazing at the people from the outside of the window while eating my ice cream deliciously.

"Hey Josh, I just remembered that you told me, that youre going back to Korea tomorrow right?", Sojin asked as she ate her ice cream without looking at me.

"Yup. I planned on staying for a few weeks.", I replied and also didnt bother to tear my stares from the busy world, still staring at the outside of the window.

"Few weeks? God, are you really that homesick?", Sojin said then giggled.

"Maybe.", I said as a smile appeared on my face.

or maybe.. its because I am missing someone so much recently, my mind said and automatically the smile got wider than before as Yeeun's bright face filled in my mind.

"So what is your plan about the party tonight?", I turned my attention towards Sojin and looked at her.

She looked up and pursed her lip, "I dont know..", she said then continued with a grin plastered on her face, "-but what do I know is.. I'm so gonna make Grey as my official boyfriend tonight!"

I gave her a disgusted look as I asked, "whats so good about him anyway? hes just a jerk, Sojin."

"Hes not! Hes so freakin hot and sexy- ohmygosh I will be the happiest person in the world if I get to make him as my boyfriend!", Sojin said and already making a stupid look as she was dreaming about her-so-hot-crush, Grey.

I sighed and gave her a worried look.

"You sure you will be okay?", I asked again, to make sure.

"Why? Did you change your mind and want to accompany me tonight??", she asked while smirking.

"No. I'm going to pack my stuff for tomorrow so,.. sorry. I'm not available for you.", I sternly said then smirked.

"Tch. I already know that you are actually available for someone else right? What was her name again? Yeen? Yena? Yuna?", Sojin said as she touched her chin, trying to get a hold of her memories.

"Its Yeeun, you idiot.", I said and shook my head in disbelief as I chuckled a bit.

"Ha! Yes, yes! Yeeun!", she clasped her hands together as she recalled Yeeun's name back.

She then suddenly turned her attention back to me and a grin was plastered on her face.

I took a sip of my coffee and gave her a strange look, "what?"

She then suddenly wiggled her eyebrows towards me and smirked, "So whats with both of you? Are you guys a thing now?"

I automatically choked on my drink as I was shock by her sudden speculation. I swear to god that my heart skipped a beat the moment I heard her words.

"W-What- o-of course not!", I replied but mentally cursed for my stuttering words.

Sojin then gave me a look and asked again with a smirk, "You are stuttering, Joshua."

I quickly turned my head as I felt my cheeks already heated up.

"I-I said, we a-are not! geez!", I denied again and nervously looked around, randomly.

Suddenly, Sojin bursted into laugh and slapping the table variously like a mad person. I turned my head back again and gave her a weird look.

"Gosh, Joshua. Youre too easy to read- I cant- pfffft! P-Please stop lying.. you look so stupid right now! Hahahhahahaha!", Sojin exclaimed as she was still laughing in not-so-polite-way and that did attracted a lot of peoples attentions, in the store.

"Yah! Stop it! Youre the one who look more stupid than me now!", I whispered roughly, just enough for her to heard.

She then stopped laughing and looked around as she saw there were so many eyes on our table right now. I quickly hid my face with left hand and turned my head towards the big window, instead of facing Sojin.

Sojin then bit her lips as she bowed towards the people that gave them weird stares. I just rolled my eyes as I eyed the busy city again, still thinking about Yeeun.

I suddenly thought of something as I took out a piece of paper from the side of my guitar bag. I folded it open as I stared at the beautiful handwriting, then smiled like an idiot as I read it in my mind.

It was Yeeun's first letter for me.

I got distracted when Sojin suddenly leaned in and took a closer look at the latter's contents. I furrowed as I looked up at her.

She giggled as she leaned back on her seat.

"geez, Josh. Its really obvious that you already fell on the heel for her.", Sojin muttered as she took a sip of her cappuccino and smirked at me.

My cheeks immediately flushed in red when I heard her words then flustered as I pretend that I didnt heard her.

"So basically, the main reason why you want to go back to Korea as soon as possible, is because of her right?", Sojin teased me as a grin was now plastered on her face.

"Shut up.", I replied as I continued reading the letter, trying so hard to ignore my fluttered feeling when the thought of Yeeun approached my mind again.

"I will take that as a yes.", Sojin said as she laughed when she saw the red color climbed up on my cheeks again.

•••••

I nervously stared down at the familiar ticket in my hand. An excited smile lingering on my face but soon turned into a nervous smile when I thought of what will Yeeun's reaction be.

I fiddled in my seat while waiting for my flight to get called. I jumped on my seat a bit when my phone suddenly rang.

I took it out from my pocket and glanced over at the screen before pick up the call.

"Josh!", I heard Sojin's voice on the line. She sounds very excited.

"Mmh.", I replied as I already knew why was her voice chimed like that.

"Ohmygod, Josh! You wont believe this!", Sojin chimed again on the line, over-excited.

"Then why bother telling.", I lazily replied and silently giggled when I heard frustrated groan came out from the other line.

"Josh! I'm fucking serious!", Sojin whined on the line.

I rolled my eyes then spoke, "Fine. What is it?"

"Grey will be the one to personally invite me tonight, for the party!", Sojin excitedly said as I could imagined she actually squealed in the other line.

"Sojin, no. Youve promised me that you wont go to the party. I've told you not to stay close with Grey. Cant you understand??", I scolded her as she and me had a deal yesterday about the party.

She promised me that she wont go to the party.

"Eyy~ Chill, Josh. I wont go to the party like how Ive promised you. I just wanted to brag at you about him as he never personally invite anyone before to the party.", Sojin said on the line as she giggled.

I smiled when I heard her but then my smile slowly faded away as I knew Grey so much. What kind of guy he is.

"Sojin, you sure that you will be okay there? all alone?", I asked again, unsure of letting her go by herself.

Sojin laugh could be heard on the line as she spoke proudly, "Duh, no worries. I can take a good care of myself. Just promise me one thing, Josh."

I furrowed my eyebrows as I confusedly asked, "What?"

"Dont shit on your pants when you finally got to meet her.", Sojin said then bursted into aloud laugh.

I snorted when I heard her words, "Heh, not funny."

Sojin laughed again as I just shook my head at her hysterical laugh.

Suddenly, a loud woman voice from the public speaker notified that my flight already arrived. I quickly got up as I looked at my watch.

"I think I should go. Its my flight.", I spoke on the phone.

Sojin let out a small laugh before replied, "Okay. Wish you the best luck, Josh."

I smiled while nodded, eventho she couldnt see it, and answered, "Thank you, Sojin. You too, take care."

Sojin laughed and literally shouted on the line, "AI AI CAPTAINN!"

I rolled my eyes at her reaction that trying so hard to mimicked the spongebob's slogan.

"Okay then, bye.", I said for the last time before going to end the call but stopped when I heard Sojin's voice called for me.

"Joshua!"

"What?"

"Do not think twice and just go for it."

I furrowed my eyebrows at her sudden advice.

"What do you mean?", I asked while walking towards the main gate of my flight station, not wanting to missed my flight.

"Confessing, idiot.", Sojin replied in annoyance.

My mouth gaped and nodded lightly before answering while smiling, "I know. Thank you."

Sojin laughed before she hang up then I quickly put my phone on my jeans pocket.

I stared at the main gate as I stared down at my ticket. I handed the ticket to the staff before smiling brightly like an idiot while walking passed the main gate.

•••••

[Next day]

I bit my lip as I looked around the party that my family organised for mom. I sighed as I didnt see any sign of Yeeun, at all.

Not seeing her yesterday after I arrived Korea, really made me missing her like crazy and suffocated. How I wish I could just run back to her house and burst into her room then hug her small figure into my arms, tightly. But mom didnt let me to as she said that I get to meet her tonight.

And now, I'm getting really frustrated as I still didnt see her, nowhere to be found in this party.

I walked toward mom that was happily talking to her friends. I poked her arm gently, asking for her attention.

"um mom?", I called for her from behind.

She turned around and shocked to see me as she brightly smiled and asked, "Yes hun, what is it?"

"Happy birthday, mom.", I wished then hugged her tightly.

She chuckled before patted my back and hugged me back.

"Thank you, my beloved son~", mom chimed happily as she pulled back and granted me a wide smile.

I nodded before bit my bottom lip as my eyes wandered around, still searching for Yeeun.

"um mom, have you seen.. Yeeun?", I nervously asked as I looked back at mom, who was now smirking while staring at me.

I gave her a questioned look.

"Nothing. But if youre searching for Yeeun, she was here awhile ago..", Mom mumbled before also looking around the crowd people in the party, also searching for Yeeun.

"Ha! There she is!", Mom chimed happily as she finally spotted Yeeun.

I turned around and finally.. saw her. Han Yeeun. The person that I've been dying to see and missing like crazy.

I was about to call out for her but immediately stopped my action when my phone rang.

I took it out while my eyes still pinned on Yeeun's beautiful face.

Shes extremely pretty tonight, I thought while examining Yeeun's dress and face from afar with an idiot smile.

My mind got disturbed when the phone kept ringing, making the annoyance feeling climbed up in me.

I huffed and answered the call without looking at the caller first as my eyes couldnt seems to move away from Yeeun.

"Hello?", I said on the line while still eyeing Yeeun, who was now walking towards my way with a smile.

I was about to wave at her when suddenly I heard a familiar voice on the line was sobbing really terribly.

My eyes widen at that and I quickly turned around and brought my focus back on the phone.

"Sojin?? Is that you??", I asked as I walked towards the back of the house as it was very loud here and I couldn't really hear what Sojin trying to say.

"Sojin?? Hey.. are you okay..?", I worriedly asked as I finally stopped walking when I arrived at the back if the house.

I heard another sobbing but it slowly turned into a mess bawling. My face scrunched at the cracked voice on the line.

"J-Joshua... h-help me... ple-please..", Sojin pleaded as she was trying so hard to let her voice out.

I gasped when I heard her miserable pleading and cracked voice. Trying to avoided many negative thoughts overflowing into my mind, I carefully asked her.

"Hey... calm down, okay? I'm here for you..", I tried to calmed her which succeed as she finally stopped bawling but sobs still could be heard on the line.

I sighed and slowly asked, "Now, please tell me what has happened, Sojin."

I heard a muffled sounds before I could clearly heard her crying again. I gulped as my heart beats getting faster as I sensed something was wrong with her.

"Sojin... please dont cry.. talk to me,", I calmed her down again.

"I-I.. I...-", Sojin was about to talk back but stopped when the crying seems to bothered her.

I bit my lips nervously as I patiently waited for her reply.

"J-Joshua.. I-I-", Sojin said between her tears and I could sense that she got a real hard time to tell me.

I just stayed silent as I dont want to interrupt her words.

"... I-I got r-raped.", Sojin finally said and after that, she was back into her crying state and lowly mumbled, "...someone raped me..."

"Y-You got what?!", I asked, in a really loud voice as I couldnt contain my shocked state.

Sojin didnt reply as she kept crying nonstop on the line and I could feel my heart fell at that. I mean, how didnt you, when you just found out about your closest friend, who helped you when you struggled a lot for being in stranger country,.. got raped by a fucking jerk- ugh

My eyes widen at her statement and I tried my best to collected myself back as I exhaled then inhaled, slowly.

"How did this happened? Who the fuck did this to you?!", I asked in anger as I couldnt contain it anymore.

Sojin had a hard time to reply me but after a few seconds, she did.

"Y-Yesterday.. a-at the party.. a-and i-it was... G-Grey..", Sojin stated while still crying miserably on the line.

I could feel my hands clenched into fist when I heard the familiar bastard name. I sighed out loud as I pushed my bang back with my fingers as I frustratedly groaned.

"Why the fuck didnt you listen to me, Sojin?? Ive told you for million times- fucking million times, to not get even an inch closer to him but you just wont listen!", I scolded out loud on the line and I regretted it after as I heard Sojin's sobbing, getting worst than before.

"I-I'm so-sorry.. I'm s-sorry Josh.. ugh.. I feel so fucking dumb now and u-useless, like f-fucking trash! I should have listen to you.. J-Josh.. please come back... I feel.. I-I feel like.. killing m-myself, Josh. P-Please...", Sojin muttered in tired voice as she still crying and sobbing.

My expression immediately changed into a pained one when I heard her fragile voice as if she already broken and waiting to be smash broken into pieces more.

I suddenly heard a ruffles sound behind me which made me turned around to see nothing or no one. I just sighed as I turned around back sighed again.

"Wait for me. Dont go anywhere. I will come back tonight.", I stated as I closed my eyes in defeated.

She needs me more now.., I thought before hang up and quickly turned around to informed my parents for this sudden leave.

•••••

"Do you really have to go back there tonight?", Mom asked as she stared into my eyes and gave me a sad pouted.

I sighed while looked at her sad expression. I nodded lightly before gave her an reassure smile.

"Mom, its okay. I will visit you again next time.", I said while stroked her cheek gently.

"Be careful, son.", Dad muttered lowly as he patted my shoulder with a small smile.

I nodded at him and replied his smile with a smile back, "I will."

I looked over at Dad's shoulder and saw.. Yeeun's froze body while her eyes pinned at me.

I gave her an apologetic smile as both of us couldnt even spend time together more and I couldnt even get to tell her that I miss her so much, when suddenly the public speaker announced for the next flight which was mine.

I saw she gave me a sad smile as her whole face showed me a pained expression. A guilty feeling flood into me as I really wanted to run toward her and hug her tightly as I really dont want to let her go but.. I cant.

Sojin is waiting for me.., I thought to myself as I eyed her sadly and slowly turned around, let my eyes left her as a really pain feeling reached my heart.

"I will contact you when I arrive.", I simply said towards both of my beloved ones.

Both of my parents lightly nodded before waved at me.

I sighed as I gave Yeeun a last glance before turned around and walked away, further away from my beloved ones... and yes, its includes Han Yeeun.

•••••

[At US]

I slammed Sojin's house door opened as I stepped into the house and eyes searching for Sojin's figure, desperately. I put the extra key on the table neared me.

"Sojin! Sojin?! Where are you??", I shouted for Sojin but got no reply.

I nervously ran around the house searching for Sojin. I walked upstairs and bursted into her bedroom.

My eyes immediately fell on a weak figure who was laying on the cold ground while hugging her knees tightly on her chest, formed a ball shape. She was still wearing the same dress for the party last night, as I could see her dull dress got teared on her arms and shoulders part, which as a prove that the ugly incident really did happened.

My heart fell when witnessed her fragile state right in front of me.

This is all my fault.. I shouldnt left her.., I thought as I bit my lip and slowly walked toward the broken figure on the ground.

"Sojin..", I called for her and sat on my knees, right a few inches away from her.

Sojin looked up and my eyes softened when I saw tears were still lingering in her eyes.

Sojin sadly smile as she tried her best to get up but failed as her muscles in pain because of laying on the ground for too long. I carefully put my arm around her shoulder and helped her sat up.

"You came..", Sojin muttered when our eyes met.

I nodded, sadly then granted her a small smile, "Of course.."

I suddenly heard her voice cracked and she finally turned into her broken state again as she quickly hugged me tightly and cried on my chest.

"Josh, what should I do?? My life is completely ruined now a-and... I'm lost... I.. d-dont think.. that I can live in this world anymore! N-No! Not after what happened to me! N-No..", Sojin bawled and she hugged me tighter and cried harder.

I sighed as I patted her back gently.

"I dont have anything left.. I'm an orphan, Joshua.. and got nothing to proud of as a w-woman anymore.. Ive got nothing.. Ive got nothing, Joshua.. n-nothing.", Sojin hugged me even tighter after she said that.

"shh.. no, Sojin. Dont say that. I am here. I will always be here.", I comforted her as I tried to put up a smile but failed as I heard Sojin's cries got louder.

"I want to die.. I want to die..", Sojin mumbled while crying miserably in my arms.

My heart ached when I heard the broken words left her mouth.

I quickly pulled back, just enough for me to looked into her eyes. She looked at me while tears streaming down on her cheeks, not even bother to stop for once.

I took her weak wrist as I eyed the deep blue bruise on it. My eyes softened when my eyes met hers. Her eyes look hurt and I could notice there were bruises near her shoulders and collarbone too.

We both stared into each other eyes for a moment before I let out a sigh.

"You have me, Sojin. I will be the one to responsible for it.", I muttered as I gently held her shoulders and gave her a small smile.

Sojin's eyes widen at my words.

"W-What-"

I quickly cut her words off as I ruffled with her already messy hair.

"Dont worry, Sojin. I will be responsible for it. I will always, be there for you.", I exclaimed slowly as still smiling to convince her.

"Joshua...", Sojin was lost in words as she couldnt believe what has came out from my mouth.

I smiled and nodded lightly.

"Its okay, Sojin. I will take care of you."

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+i told you jisoo is a gentleman :3 anywy tell me if youve done reading