*A letter to your significant other (or future significant other)*

So this one's for my boyfriend...

Dear Michael,

I only met you this year, but it already feels like I've known you for a while now. And I know most people would just write about how much love they have for their partner, but I'm not most people. So I'm going to write about good and bad things, but before I do, I want to tell you to not punch walls! Okay?! I know I told you it was okay, but just please don't! Now that I said that, let me start off with the bad things...

So the one thing you do that pisses me off so much is that you tell Jennifer things that you don't even tell me! Like what the heck babe?! I'm your girlfriend and not her! Now, that makes me sound like I'm some overprotective girlfriend and whatnot, but let me tell you why I get so upset. You tell Jennifer everything, and then you keep things from me. You told Jennifer the truth about everything, and you lied to me. You tell her things that I really should know and the only way I ever end up finding out is when she tells me, or when I guess and force it out of you. You never tell me on your own. And it's not good to have secrets and lies in a relationship, but that's exactly what we have! You keep secrets and you lie...it upsets me a lot honestly and I wish it could change, but sadly, I've kinda gotten used to it.

Okay, maybe I haven't gotten used to it completely because I kinda just got upset over it this morning. So you wanted to know why I was mad at you this morning? It has to do with this. You see, I arrived at school with Jennifer and Brionne this morning, put my stuff down at the table, and went with them to the restroom. While in the restroom, Jennifer asked me, "when was the last time Michael texted you?" So I checked my phone and said, "7:47 this morning...why?" I was obviously concerned and then she just replied by asking, "did you tell him to send me something?" I said no and then she just said "oh" in a worried tone. So then I asked what was going on and she showed me that message you sent me this morning, the one about death and stuff. And you sent it to her at like 1 ish in the morning...why the heck did you send that to her first? So the fact that you sent that to her first kinda got to me, but I got over it pretty quickly...but then, oh but then, she told me some interesting news that I never even heard of. And this news was actually really important, yet you never told me? Hm...let me explain what it was. She told me that when we first started dating, you wanted to die...

I never knew that. Well, that's not true. I knew that, but you never actually told me so I assumed that it wasn't so bad that you actually wanted to die. But Jennifer knew. Why? Because you told her. Not me, the person who you love and should trust, but my best friend. Kinda hurt honestly. And that's why I was so mad on the outside and really depressed on the inside. So yeah, um...I don't know what else to say about that because I don't think it'll ever stop. You're always gonna tell Jennifer stuff and I'm always gonna be lied to, or just not know anything at all...I guess I'll just have to get used to it.

Okay, that's basically the only thing you do that really gets to me, so I can move on to the good things.

First and foremost I need to tell you that I love you. I know that I say this all the time, but I really do mean it and I don't know how to express how much I love you since I just suck so much at saying these kinds of things.

Also, I'm so sorry that I keep avoiding kissing you. I really don't mean to, but I always do and I feel so bad. I mean, you've been wanting to kiss me since before Valentine's Day and we still haven't all because I'm way shy for some reason. So yeah, so sorry about that.

Another important thing that I really need to say is thank you. You help me through my hard times and you're always there for me and there's no way for me to truly show my gratitude. You deal with me when I'm a jerk, when I'm aggressive, when I'm sad, when I'm hyper, everything, and I really do appreciate it 'cause I know I'm not an easy person to deal with.

You make me feel good about myself, even though I hate everything about me. That's something that not many people can do, not even some of my best friends, and I can't ever thank you enough for it. You do so much for me and I've done nothing for you. I'm so sorry, but so thankful. Without you, I don't know where I'd be right now. You're the reason why I still want to live, why I don't cut, why I haven't tried to commit suicide. You're the reason for me still wanting to live and I love you so much. Words can't express how deeply I love you and I hope I never lose you.

Also, I need you to know that I'm here for you and I'm always going to be here. You can come to me with anything and I'll support you through anything. I need to tell you that because I know that sometimes you don't want to worry me, so you hide stuff. Or you don't come to me because you think it's stupid. I'm here, okay? I'll always be here. You don't need to hide things from me because you think I'll worry. I love you and I'll be here to support you no matter what, even if a little worrying comes with knowing. And let me just tell you that anything that upsets you, even if it's just slightly, is most definitely not stupid and I care so much about you that I don't ever want you to go through something alone. We can get through it, together.

Another thing. Don't worry about hurting me and others because you don't really do it that often, and when you do, it's because you just accidentally do it. So don't get so upset with yourself and think you're worth nothing because I assure you that you are amazing and a great person with a good heart. And you remember a couple nights ago when you were all, "I don't want to hurt people, but I don't want to be a criminal either," and stuff like that? Well let me tell you my thoughts on the matter because I didn't know how to say this then. So you say that you didn't hurt anyone when you used to be a "bad" person? That's not true. You hurt more people by being that way than you ever could now and I really don't want you to ever go back to that. You've made a change for the better and I know you think that since you've made the change, all you've been doing is hurting people, but that's not true at all. Now, you make people worry less and you won't ever hurt people as bad as you would if you resorted to becoming a criminal. So please, I'm begging you, don't revert to your old ways. But if you do, I'll be there to support you through it all because that's not a battle that I'm going to let you fight alone.

Man, this letter is already as long as you. I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist.

Anyways, I still could say so much more, but I think I've said the most important things and the whole message that I really want you to get from this is that I love you, and that I'll always be here for you no matter what.

Sincerely,
Your girlfriend who loves
you more than anything,
Melissa