A letter that was never sent.

*

~Unsent~

Dear _________

This is an apology.

This is a letter that should've been sent instead.

This hasn't been written for anything except to express the words of truth.

Here goes:

Two playing children, once split apart. One went away; the other was left behind. Years went by and nothing was spoken of it. Life went on as normal. When one was old enough, they found that those times they'd spent playing with their friend had amounted to something. Those times had mattered, as silly as that sounds. When they were going through some struggles they thought to themselves: what of my childhood friend?

All those years went by and they didn't pay attention to what could've happened. What could've happened if neither had drifted apart? Would they still be friends? As close as they were when the two of them were much younger?

Why did it matter so much?

They supposed that it didn't matter, not really. Except the burning curiosity grew more each day until they found that that the same thought burned into the forefront of their mind, it was constant; nagging: find out.

Find out what could've happened.

Find out just how much had changed.

And so they did.

A letter, some words, and numbers exchanged. Little did they realise that there were complications. Time had moved on, leaving the memories far left behind. They found themselves trying to play catch-up, but too many years had gone by for them to be able to do so. What was once something was almost nothing, but nevertheless, the memories were desperate to be kept alive by the unsuspecting two.

Then they, who had left the first time, left yet again - not willingly, but they had to. And so the cycle began. The same old thoughts, only this time they were slightly different: Why did things have to be that way?

It was neither's fault, but years later it dawned on the one who had left the other behind: maybe things hadn't turned out well for a reason. Maybe things weren't meant to be, due to factors outside of their control.

And one day they saw their own actions for what they truly were; how selfish they had been:

Why leave them twice, only to try again for a third time?

It was unfair to their childhood friend, who had perhaps experienced confusion for the second time. Maybe they didn't want to be exposed to the same kind of loss for the third time and for that reason they had distanced themselves.

That's when the final decision was made.

They would not subject the other person to the same experiences they'd already had; they would think before they acted. They would instead learn to let go.

With no drama; no bitterness and no remorse they thought to themselves:

If the other person could let go, then they could do so too.

"Happiness will always be remembered, and I will always remember the happiness."

Alicia.