Thank you for going beyond what I even imagined possible. Not only has your story reached me emotionally, you're helping me grow as a person. Nobody has cared for me to that extent my entire life.

Even if it isn't about you caring for me in any capacity, it doesn't take away how much it means to me.

I care about a great many people, and I guess you could say it's my way of passing kindness on. No need to thank, just work with me and believe :)

I'm lucky to have met you. I'm still only 18 chapters in your memoir, but perhaps all your steps were meant to help with ours. Life is funny like that. You've experienced many things and from it came wisdom. Right now I have about 250 words in that piece, but my memories can't seem to put everything together. If I remembered everything, I could detail it out more. I only remember a couple things. My memory has been like that, which is odd because I have near picture perfect memory.

The mind blocks out a lot of stuff as you shift focus. It concentrates on gathering and storing what it thinks you think is important in more easy to reach places and files the rest away... but see, that's where remembering one thing unlocks the pathways and more memories emerge from the deeper files. You do have everything, everything is retained because the mind is a computer, just some files are more accessible than others...Concentrate and don't think about remembering, just let your mind do its thing...

I won't be able to do that at work. I can't let the emotions flow as they would at home. I am happy to say I've reached 600 words, but the rest needs to be done in privacy, so that I can let the emotions flow freely.

Just so you understand, this is about the loss of our first child.

That's very sad... sure, go home and finish, totally understand. I am sorry, really.

It's all for the purpose of helping you help me. If getting this out there helps me, then I will do it.

Tomorrow is my wife's birthday.. The day after that is when it happened...

Not all men cheat, or seek the thrill of cheating. Chapter 18, I'm only a couple para in. There are good men out there that truly love their wives. I may be broken, my wife as well; but I would never betray her nor her me. I've never been one to crave sex. You and I share the same opinion, it's just sex.

Agree Jeremy, I have spent a lifetime chasing this illusive something more. Sex is a physical manifestation of our biological need to keep the species going. I wrote something about how it's all a chemical process... I seek another connection with people, something deeper than mere sexual gratification. Cheating is a hard one for me. I don't honestly know the point at where the line is crossed. It differs for each individual and has been further complicated by the internet. I mean I was accused by my beloved friend Nikk's wife of 'cheating' despite there ever being only friendship and conversation between us... She considered time spent with me and away from her as cheating. I thought of it as spending time with a friend. I speak with married men on here, discussing things and helping them through personal situations... much as with you. Some people consider this cheating, because one should be discussing these things with one's partner/wife?

Used to be cheating was having sex with someone outside of marriage. Now? I have no clue. I will say this though, having been in the public eye for a long time, more 'married men' have approached me than single. It sickens me and I will tell you why: My belief is that there can only be a third person in a relationship/marriage if there is room for one. If two people complete each other, there is no way for a third to breach that bond. So if I go by this, there are a lot of broken marriages out there, and cheating is again, a symptom of a bigger problem. I've been on both sides of this particular coin so can speak with some conviction. I have also met men I have admired for the way they hold their marriages sacred, and protected at all costs. Not many, but they do exist.

The problem with marriage today is that no one takes it for what it is. To people, getting married is a part of dating and will have an ending. I can't see it that way. I'm bound to my wife for the rest of our lives. I've had sex with other girls, even women. To me, it was always the same. I can't say I didn't and don't enjoy it, but at the end of the day... I enjoy the end of it. There is no connection other than the obvious.

I get that. Sorry, dealing with another emergency atm so may take a while before responding, bear with me.