Cain's POV:

I closed the door behind me, suppressing the urge to slam it. My skin was burning, my fire crackling underneath my skin, begging to be released in a hurricane of flames. I could burn down the world if I wanted to.

Storming out of the house, once outside, I shifted into my wolf, unable to contain the wildness of my fur side.

Go to the Pack House and guard the Luna. She is sleeping upstairs. Do not disturb her, I growl through mindlink to Lucas and Zach. Even though my wolf had completely taken over, I still couldn't help caring for my mate, despite how infuriated I felt.

But apart from my rage, I felt another emotion that I had been experiencing regularly since meeting my mate.

Pain.

Not in the physical sense, though I would have preferred that. I felt... hurt. Something I didn't know I was capable of feeling until this last year.

My paws dig into the snow, but I'm immune to the cold as I push through the snow and deeper into the woods. I starting running around the perimeter of the territory, despite the fact that there were already wolves on patrol. The wolves I ran past must have been able to sense my anger, because they didn't say anything in greeting, only tilted their head in submission. It was a good thing they did, because my wolf would have gladly torn the throat out of anyone showing even the slightest sign of disrespect.

Ares' words had sliced through my heart, sharper than any dagger she could have summoned. She had a way of doing that, of knowing precisely what to say to cut through someone to tear them down.

It was my pup, too. She acts like she was the only one who suffered from the loss of the pup, but it was mine too. My pup.

Ares wasn't the only one who suffered a loss that day. But she never spoke of it, never allowed me to mention the pup, even though I could see her grieve in anguish and in silence for months.

I knew she felt guilty about losing the pup, about not being able to bear an heir for me, but I couldn't give less of a fuck about that. I didn't even care about having another pup. I just want my mate back.

I had already long given up hope on having a pup. And it hurt like hell to accept- but I did it. Ares clings on to the idea of a pup like it's the only thing tethering her to the earth.

And every day that goes by pup-less, I see her retreating further away from me.

She pushes, pushes me away further every day, and the more time we spend together, the less it seems I know her. She has a wall of ice barricading her heart, and it was impenetrable.

Not even I, her other half, could burn down those walls. I thought after all this time, after all we've been through, we would be closer, and she could be vulnerable with me, but she was just as distant now as she was when we first met.

My wolf makes a choking sound, somewhat resembling a sardonic laugh. Ares. Vulnerable.

Yeah fucking right.

While the death of our pup had brought us closer in some ways, it also pushed her away, and the walls strengthened with impossible resolve. I tried giving her time. Really- I did. But as each day goes by, I can feel her slipping through the cracks of my fingers more and more.

I don't know how I could have been so fooled for so long. Her touches, her kisses- they're a mirage meant to distract me from asking questions, from pushing her to open up, so she could stay within the confines of the walls she built around her icy heart.

Even after the Alpha transformation, she's still the same Ares. Cold. Calculating. Impossible to understand. Cruel.

The night our pup died, I didn't just lose my son.

I lost my mate, too.

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Ares' POV:

When I awaken, I can see light streaming in through the window. I frown, and check the clock, which reads 4:00 a.m.

Cain isn't beside me either, and I immediately assume the worst. He promised to wake me up for the pack meeting, and if he didn't, something horrible must have happened to him.

Where are you? I mindlink him, and I can't help the panic seeping into my voice, and my heart beats erratically while I wait for his response.

Downstairs, he answers, his voice giving no indication to what he's feeling.

My frown deepens, and my eyebrows furrow in confusion as I get out of bed, wrapping one of the fur pelts on the bed around me for warmth.

Bond or not, I knew Cain was mad at me. He never was angry enough not to come to bed at night, no matter how much we were fighting that day.

I did feel slightly remorseful of my words, because I intentionally said them to hurt him enough to leave me alone, but there was nothing else I could do to get him to drop it. I just can't talk about our pup. Some things are too painful to verbalize.

I go downstairs, the wooden floorboards feeling just as cold as the snow that covers the ground outside. I see Cain laying on the couch, his eyes closed.

I hesitate, looking at his motionless body, wondering if I should just leave him alone, or bear the brunt of his explosive anger.

Since I'm not a coward, I decide on the latter. "You didn't wake me up for the meeting with the rest of the Pack Leaders," I accuse as I sit on the ottoman across from where he's laying on the couch.

"You needed to rest." He says, his words clipped. Yep, he's furious.

Good, I am too.

"No, I needed to be there to discuss strategy," I snarl, and his eyes open as he sits upright.

"Don't use that tone with me, Ares," He warns, his eyes flashing dangerously. His wolf is on the brink of taking over. If I was smart, I would back down.

Unfortunately, I'm an idiot.

"I'll use whatever tone I want with you, Cain," I sneer the last word. "Especially when you decide to not include me in discussing a matter that I'm very much involved in."

Cain laughs, but there's no humor in it. "You want to talk about how unfair it is to not include someone in a conversation about something that involves them? Really?"

My face twists in confusion. "What the fuck are you even talking about, Cain?"

"It was my pup, too!" He roars, his eyes blazing as he stands up from the couch. His palms are suddenly engulfed in bright flames, and my eyes widen at the sight.

I can feel the heat from his fire even though he's a few steps away, and just as quickly as they were light, he extinguishes them.

"It was my pup, too," Cain says again softly, and he sounds so completely broken in that moment, I almost don't recognize him as my mate.

My heart twists at the pain in his eyes that replaced the anger almost instantaneously. "I'm sorry," I say in surprise. "I shouldn't have said that last night."

He shakes his head slowly. "It's not just about last night, Ares. You refuse to talk about the pup with me, even though I lost him, too."

I'm stunned into silence, not having expected this from him. It sounds so ignorant in hindsight, but I really hadn't thought that Cain would have been as heartbroken as I was about the pup. He never showed his pain over it.

"We lost him, Ares. Not just you. The two of us," Cain says, and my mouth nearly drops open when I see his eyes watering. I had never seen him cry, or even come close.

He keeps going, but sits back on the couch, his fists clenched tightly. "Did you ever ask how I felt about it? Did you even consider that I was hurting just as much as you?"

Honestly, no. I hadn't.

He barrels on. "Did you think I had just forgotten about the pup?"

I gulp, completely frozen in place. I don't know how to deal with him, not when he's like this. Not when he's so... vulnerable.

I didn't even think that was possible for the Blood Alpha.

"Not a single day has gone by that I don't think about him!" Cain yells, and I flinch.

"You have to move on, Ares! We lost the pup, and it fucking hurts, but you have to let him go! We can't have pups. Just accept it already! Stop torturing yourself over something that will never come to fruition. You're agonizing over children that we can't have. Let. It. Go," He says, and his voice is significantly softer by the time he's done.

My eyes water, and Cain sighs, pulling me into his lap, which just makes me cry harder. He rocks me slightly, stroking my hair with one of his hands.

I feel guilty- unbearably guilty. I've been so wrapped up in my own depression I hadn't considered what he's been going through.

"I'm not mad," Cain says softly as he hushes me. I can feel his surprise through the bond. No doubt surprised that I'm bawling like a bitch. He could count on one hand the amount of times he's seen me cry. "I just need you to let it go, Ares. Please. Not just for your sake, but for both of ours."

I can't let it go. I know he wants me to lose faith on having a pup- but I can't do that. It's the only thing that gives me humanity. To accept that I would never have a pup would kill a part of my soul.

"I can't keep watching you destroy yourself over this, Ares," Cain says quietly as he continues stroking my hair. "Please. Just promise me that you'll try to come to terms with it. I'll be here for you the whole way, I promise you that. But you can't keep hanging on."

I nod, but I don't mean it. It doesn't matter what he says. I won't ever give up on our unborn pups.