Chapter 7 ~ Darcy 

“Harry is so nice! And Louis makes me laugh all the time. I like Niall’s laugh more than in the videos and Zayn is crazy too! But the best is Brit! She is the bestest ever!” Lizzie keeps talking and talking about how wonderful One Direction was and how much she enjoyed this afternoon with them.

I smile and nod, sometimes I make a few comments so she knows I’m listening. She’s incredibly happy and that’s all I can ask for, I’ve made all this just because of her. It was very embarrassing for me, due to all the things that dropped out of her mouth, but I’ll survive. It’s not a big deal, after all. Just some proofs of how awkward I am. Carter is always telling me that I should go out more, accept all those dates I’m asked on, but I just can’t find the purpose on that. In my list of priorities, dating is very low. There are better things to care about, like my little sister’s life. She only has me when Mum is not around and it’s my choice to look after her instead of having someone else to do that.

However, what mortifies me from that episode in Liam’s place is what he may think of me now. Probably he thinks I’m lame and boring, which is no surprise, but I don’t like the idea of him thinking that of me. I know I shouldn’t care about his opinion, and most certainly I should not care about his opinion regarding that subject, but I do, even if I don’t want to accept it.

I can’t deny all the things I felt when Liam and I were alone in his kitchen. The way my heart was beating faster and I felt a lump in my belly; but at the same time I must ignore those reactions because they might end up hurting my little sister. And I can’t afford to do that, even if it is unintentional.

“And what about Liam?” I ask her and I slap myself mentally. I just can’t stop being so aware of his existence and I don’t think that’s a good thing.

Lizzie squeals and bounces in her seat. “He’s just as I imaged, Darcy! And he was so nice with you, too! Isn’t he incredible?” She asks and I feel my heart skipping a beat.

“I think he is,” I reply honestly with my eyes on the road. I don’t know him much, but I feel he’s a great guy.

“Yay! That’s why he’s my favourite but I love them all!” She tells me and I chuckle lightly. I never believed she could love One Direction more, but I’ve been proved wrong. It’s obvious she loves them even more now that she knows them. “I can’t wait to see them again,” she adds and my heart does this silly thing again.

The thought that I’m going to see them again makes the lump in my stomach grow tighter, and just thinking of seeing Liam again makes me feel all tingly inside. I’ve never felt like this before and even though it’s new, I’m not an idiot. I’ve read many books and watched countless movies. The diagnosis: I have a crush on Liam. But crushes have solutions, right? I can perfectly ignore all my feelings and pretend that nothing of this is really happening; but something tells me that it won’t be easy if I keep seeing him. How can I avoid him when Lizzie loves to see him and the other boys? How can I stop my heart from fluttering every time I think of him?

Suddenly, avoiding this doesn’t seem that easy.

“Are you going to tell your friends about this?” I ask her to keep my mind safe from any Liam related thought. Not an easy task, I can tell you.

“Of course no!” She says and I take a little glimpse of her. She has sat straight in her seat and looks determined. “They would never understand. They would ask me to give them things and to introduce them. I don’t wanna be like other fans, and if I want them to keep liking me, I have to be a good girl and not annoy them. Right? Plus, I don’t like much my classmates, you know that,” she tells and I nod.

Lizzie is a nice girl and she never gets in trouble, but she’s not the popular girl either. She gets along with all her classmates, but she doesn’t really have friends there. Sometimes she plays with them, but not much. She says it’s because they are all idiots sometimes, because they want to be grown-ups when they are all just nine.

I’ve taught Lizzie that she has to live her life to the fullest, never rush things because they will come eventually, whether we want it or not, so there’s no purpose on rushing her growth. She’ll become a teenager in a few years and when that comes, she won’t want to regret not having a full infancy. I’ve always told her that her childhood will always be the best part of her life if she knows how to make it count and I know she understands this. Some people say she can be too immature sometimes, that she acts as a girl of seven instead of nine, but I’m happy with the way she is and so is she. That is all that matters for us. That is why she enjoys spending time with Carter and I and animals the most. She says that we, including animals, never judge her because she doesn’t want to grow up like her classmates, that we understand that she loves to be a child and she will for as long as she can. She’s not afraid of growing up, as a teacher told me once, she is just making count every single moment of her infancy until the moment to be a teenager comes. But that hasn’t come yet and she knows it.

“Plus, I want them to keep liking you, too. Liam is really nice to you,” she adds and I tense up. Maybe she has already noticed how differently Liam treats me.

I want to slap myself because I feel this warm thing in my chest at the thought that he treats me differently. I shouldn’t feel like this if I want to protect my little sister.

“Is that bad?” I ask Lizzie carefully and she giggles. I look at her for a second, still confused.

“Of course not! I like all the people who treat you well because you’re good and you deserve that. I like they way he looks at you,” she explains and I grab the wheel tighter. I’m afraid, so afraid that she might notice why he looks at me like that.

“Maybe I look like someone he knows, that’s why he does that,” I try to explain but that doesn’t sound convincing to me.

“I don’t think so. Remember when we watched The Little Mermaid?” She inquires and I nod, trying to know where she wants to go with this. “He looks at you like Eric looks at Ariel when they are in the castle together.”

I have to breathe deeply to keep my attention on the road. She knows, she noticed there’s something different.

I bet Liam doesn’t look at me like Lizzie says, definitely he doesn’t see me like the girl he has been looking for so long, the love of his life, but there’s a different interest and Lizzie grabbed it already.

“I–I don’t think so,” I mutter and I’m killing myself to find a better explanation for her.

“I like it,” she says and I feel like I can lose control of the car in any moment. I look at her briefly just to see how she is smiling honestly.

“What?” I question, incapable of hiding my astonishment. “W–what do you mean?”

“I like the way he looks at you, Darcy. It’s like he cares about you and want you closer. You know? You’d look better with him than I. Plus, you two are almost the same age. He wouldn’t have to wait for you to get married!” She states, and if I had been drinking something, I would have spat it all over the windshield.

“Lizzie!” I reprehend her. “Don’t’ say those things!”

“Why not?” She asks innocently. “You two look so cute together. Better than most of the couples in movies,” she carries on. “I’m still young, I can find my own prince charming later. I’m not in a hurry.”

I don’t know what to do or think at her words. She is not even a little mad at the idea of Liam and I together, in fact, she already sees us getting married –which is totally crazy and scary to say the least. What scared me the most about all of what I was feeling towards Liam doesn’t even exist. There’s no need to worry but I don’t know what to do. Should I feel relief? Does this mean that I can let myself feel whatever this is?

I’m– I’m not sure what this means.

“You mean that if Liam asked me out, you wouldn’t mind? Not a tad bit?” I ask her, turning right as we are getting close to our home.

“Nope,” she replies, popping the P at the end. “I think he’s the only one I’d like to see with you. No one else is good enough. I think even Mum would like him. You’re the only girl good enough for him, too.”

I’m still shocked and I don’t say anything else until I park in front of our home. Lizzie is looking at me, I can feel her, waiting for something that I have to say, but I’m still confused.

What am I supposed to do with this new information? Should I call Liam and ask him if that date he asked me for at first is still available? But that is crazy! Who am I to go on a date with Liam Payne, an international popstar? I’m a boring and plain girl, someone who doesn’t even go to Uni. I live for my little sister, I have nothing to offer to someone like Liam. Even if we go out once, he’ll get bored of me as he’ll see that I’m nothing special. I’m common. I’m just a girl and I don’t think he can be satisfied just with that. Moreover, how can I give Liam a try and take care of my little sister? How can I think of a relationship –regardless with whom– if I have her and she needs me? She doesn’t have Mum, I’m all that she has whilst Mum is abroad. Even if Lizzie doesn’t mind the idea of Liam and I going out, there are other factors to have in consideration, such as his and my responsibilities. He’ll find someone better suit for him.

I feel pain in my chest at that thought but I ignore it. I have to ignore it.

“Anyways, he doesn’t see me like that. At least, he hasn’t asked me out, so I don’t think it’s going to work out,” I tell her even though it’s a lie. He has asked me, I just turned him down the first time. Nonetheless, I don’t think he will do such a thing again.

“I bet he will! He’ll see how amazing you are and will fall in love and will ask you to marry him!” Lizzie states ever so excited and I feel like choking again.

“Don’t say those things, Lizzie. It’s crazy, we all are too young to think of marriage.”

“I’m not saying right now, duh, Darcy. In the future, of course. You need to go to uni first,” she explains and I smile. Mum has always told us that the first thing we need before starting a family is a degree so later we can take care of those we love.

“And I will, maybe next year,” I tell her messing with her curls.

“And you’ll be the best journalist ever!” She encourages me and I smile.

“Will do, for you I’ll be the best,” I tell her and she claps excitedly. “Now let’s go inside. You need a shower after playing all afternoon with Brit. You smell, Lizzie.” She giggles before getting out the car and running to the door. I shake my head slightly before following her.

She really smells like dog and she has little golden hairs all over her clothes. That’s one of the reasons why we don’t have a dog or any kind of pet. She would be covered in animal hair all the time as there is no way she stops playing with an animal.

After I prepare dinner and Lizzie takes a bath, she’s ready to go to bed, Carter calls me to know how everything went.

“So, how charming were the lads of One Direction?” He asks me after I close the door of Lizzie’s room.

“They were really nice and kept Lizzie really entertained. She was dead on her feet so she fell asleep almost immediately,” I tell him walking to my own room. I need a shower too before going to sleep. That will probably end up clearing my mind.

“What about Liam?” He inquires and I stop walking. I haven’t told him that Liam asked me out first and that I rejected him in a subtle way –or that is what I think–, but he knows something happened that day. He knows me as much as  I know myself.

“He was nice too. His dog, Brit, is adorable,” I reply resuming my walking.

“Darcy, you know you can tell me anything, even if it’s about boys. I can give you advice about how our minds work. Not all the girls have this amazing opportunity, I can reveal all our secrets to you!” He tells me and I chuckle lightly.

“Why thank you, Carter. How thoughtful of you. But it’s okay, nothing’s going on between Liam and I. Trust me,” I say and wait for his answer.

“If something happens, I’m here for you. For whatever you need, you know that, right?”

Carter… always such a good friend of mine.

“Of course, silly. Thank you,” I tell him honestly. It’s always good to know I have such a good friend with me. I couldn’t be more grateful.

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A late happy birthday to @NataliaVolpato. It was yesterday, I'm sorry I couldn't update and dedicate this chapter on your birthday. It was wattpad fault!

Bel, xx