Chapter 29 ~ Darcy 

“Are you gonna pick up?” Carter asks me when he sees the screen of my mobile lighting up. I put the gadget aside and keep drinking my coffee.

It is still morning, not even noon and I’m spending my free time with my best friend who happens to have a break between classes and work. I just didn’t know who to go to after all that. I barely slept last night, thinking over and over again about that fight with Liam, the things I said and how I acted. He is calling me right now, he has tried to call me all morning but I don’t want to pick up. Not yet.

I haven’t said a thing to Carter, we’ve been here in the café for almost fifteen minutes already but I’ve said nothing at all. I… I’m just so confused. I’m mad at Liam, for being like a kid when he needs to be mature. We’re talking about his health, it’s not a game nor something that can be easily fixed if he makes a mistake. If he does, it may be too late. However, I’m also mad at myself for yelling at him that way. I’m not making things easy for him either and I know why he does all this, but I just… I’m just afraid something may happen to him again. That fear paralyses me.

I know I should answer Liam’s calls, but I can utter a single word. I haven’t been able in the whole day. Nor even to Lizzie and I know I left her worried when I drove her to her school this morning. I sent Carter a text, I couldn’t even call him.

“What happened, Darcy?” He asks and I sigh deeply, very interested in the foam of my coffee. “I can’t just wait here until you decide to tell me. Knowing you, that may never happen.”

He is right. I’ve always put myself in second place, with my feelings and everything. He has been there for me forever, knowing when he has to force me to talk and when he doesn’t have to.  The problem, I think, is that I haven’t quite decided how to feel about all this yet. I haven’t chosen my side.

“I had a fight with Liam,” I whisper, the first words I’ve said in the whole day. “About his health. Again.”

Over the table, Carter takes my hand and squeezes it gently. I look up to meet his eyes and I see him smiling at me encouragingly. “He will be fine, you know that.”

“I know, I’m just worried he will get bad again, out of the blue and I– I can’t see that happening again, Carter. I don’t like the person I am when all I can care about is his health. I know I’m driving him crazy, that I’m impossible and overbearing, but I just… I…” I choke in my own words, not clear with my own situation. “I don’t wanna hurt him in any possible way, but I think he may get tired of me and the way I’ve been acting, so protective over him. He told me I’m acting like his mum.”

Carter strokes the back of my hand with his thumb in that comforting way that he has always done. “And you don’t wanna talk to him because you’re scared he may be mad at you?” He suggests and I shrug because I’m not sure if that’s the case or not. “Well, Darcy, I don’t think he is calling you to tell you to fuck off or anything like that. Probably he wants to talk this through, you know.”

I sigh again. It is the most likely possibility, but still, I can’t make myself pick up the phone.

“What’s wrong with me?” I ask my best friend, hoping he will have the answer I need.

“I wish I could tell you that, but I can’t.” I look down, resignation crushing my hopes mercilessly.

“I guess I don’t know how to be a girlfriend after all. I only know how to be this mother-like figure. It’s all what I’ve been with Lizzie and now I’m doing the same with Liam, aren’t I?” I dare to look at Carter and the thin line his lips are making tells me all the answer I need. I groan. “But I really wanna be with Liam, I don’t wanna be like this.”

“Then you need to cool down a notch, Darcy. There’s a difference between being with someone and looking after someone. I guess I get why you may confuse both, they are closely related, after all. But you need to understand that when you are with someone, you need to let them make their own decisions, even if you think they are making a mistake. We all learn from our mistakes, don’t we?”

I nod, following his words and trying to internalise them. I can let him make his mistakes, like I let Lizzie. But when it comes to his health I just– I just became an ogre, I think. Perhaps it’s because I’m scared of losing him.

“I should call him,” I muse and Carter nods with a smile. “An apologise, not only for last night, but for how I’ve acted all this time.”

“Just have faith that everything will be fine and that he learnt the lesson with his health.” I breathe in deeply, really hoping he learnt that.

I guess I’ll always worry about his wellbeing, but I haven to stop being over him all the time. I need to leave him breathe and help him to feel normal. If I keep reminding him of takings his pill and take care of himself, I’m just reminding him that he can’t be completely normal, and that’s all what he wants. I have to trust him that he can manage this on his own, he doesn’t need me to take care of him. He’s not a kid like Lizzie.

“Thank you, Carter.” I smile at my best friend. Things start to get clearer to me. I still have things to figure out, I guess, but that will come with time.

My friend has to go back to work and I drive home again, deciding that when I get there I will call him but in the way, Mum calls me, which is a surprise as she knows Lizzie is in school right now and she always calls when we both can talk to her.

“Hi, Mum. How’s everything?” I ask using the speaker to talk to her. I still haven’t got home yet.

“I’m great, really great, Darcy. I’m so happy, things are going great,” she tells me and I can feel her excitement in her voice. It always makes me happy to hear her like that.

“That’s brilliant, Mum. Mind telling me more about this?” I ask her taking the last turn that will lead me home.

“Remember the job I told you about that will let me be close to you two?” She asks and I raise my eyebrows really interested.

“Of course. Is that why you’re so happy?” I inquire parking in front of our house. Maybe soon Mum is also going to be here, with us.

“Yes! Oh Darcy, everything is great. I got the job, I just have to finish some things here and clear other stuff there and I’ll be ready to start this new job! And we’re going to be together this time.” I know that’s what makes her the happiest, I’m delighted as well.

“That’s amazing, Mum! I’m so happy to hear that.”

“I’ll be there in a month or so and I’ll explain everything to you both, I just wanted to tell you that everything is fine and that soon we’ll be together again.” I’m smiling like an idiot, so happy that Mum is coming back sooner than expected and that this time she will be staying with us.

“We’ll be waiting for you,” I tell her, counting the days to see her already.

“Now I gotta go, sweetie, but I’ll call you soon. When Lizzie gets home,” she promises and I know she will keep her word, so I’ll be talking to her later today.

“Great. Talk to you soon, Mum. I love you.”

“I love you too, dear. Have a great day!”

We hang up and I can’t get rid of the smile on my lips when I get off the car and walk into my house. My mum’s call has put me in such a good mood, it gave me hopes for things to be even better. With the smile still displaying on my face, I call Liam hoping he won’t be too busy and will be able to pick up.

After five tones, I finally hear the click that tells me someone has picked up the call. Soon after that I hear his voice. “Darcy,” he says and it seems like he ran to the phone and now he’s trying to catch his breath.

“I’m sorry I didn’t pick up before. I had to sort some things out,” I tell him and there’s silence for a few seconds. “I’m sorry about last night, Liam.” I add when it seems like he won’t say anything.

“I’m sorry, too.” Silence again. “I know I’ve been acting like a kid about this whole kidney thing. I guess I was just mad at my luck, but last night I put things in perspective.”

“That’s good. That’s always good. Nevertheless, I’ve acted like a dictator since you left the hospital and I’m sorry. You’re right, I’m not your mum. I know she asked me to look after you, but that doesn’t mean I have to take her role. You’re not Lizzie.” I don’t know if I’m being clear enough for him, if he is following what I want to say because in my ears it doesn’t sound that evident.

“It seems like both of us have been playing the wrong role, uh?” I hear the soft laughter in his tone, laughter at how ironic all this is. He’s been acting like a kid and I’ve been acting like a mother. None of us taking the role that we should.

“Well, we better start acting like we are supposed to,” I state and wait for his answer.

“I’m really sorry, I know you’ve been scared. I guess I would be worse if it were the other way around.” I laugh at that, trying to picture Liam being as annoying as I’ve been if I were ill. The funny thing is that I can totally see him being like that.

“Let’s pray I’ll never have to see you acting like that,” I joke and I hear him chuckle. “I’m sorry, too. I promise I’ll behave this time and I’ll let you take care of yourself. You’re an adult now, you don’t need a mum to help you.”

“I don’t,” he agrees and I smile. “But I do need a girlfriend to be by my side.”

My heart warms at the sweetness in his words and voice. “And you have it. She’ll behave like a girlfriend should be. She’s just learning how to do that, you have to be patient.” Am I weird for talking about myself in third person?

“I can do that.”

“Good. So, tell me, how is going back to your busy life going on?” I ask to change the subject for an easier topic as I sit on the sofa and get comfortable.

“Hectic,” he answers and like that we talk for about fifteen minutes before he is called again. At least, things are good between us again. Our relationship is not perfect, but we’re working to make the best of it.

That must count, right?

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Woohoo" Today I hit 18k fans (followers) and you got 1k votes in the previous chapter. Double reason for an early update! I hope you liked this chapter. Things are fine between them already. Today I wrote chapter 34 and I got really sad... You'll see what it's coming for Larcy very soon.

Dedication to @ PurplePenguin5. I hope your brain is fine now ;)

Bel, xx