Chapter 2 ~ Liam

I’m about to say ‘I love you, too’ when I realise what she has just said. She didn’t tell me she loves us, she has apologised. When that sinks in my mind I look up at her not being able to hide my surprise. This has never happened before. Fans normally tell us they love us, that we’ve saved their lives, that they owe us everything, and so many other wonderful things that when I hear them, I can’t help but smile like an idiot and be so grateful for what I am doing. In the last couple of months I’ve learnt to really appreciate what we do, and the impact we have on others’ lives. I’ve stopped sometimes to contemplate and say thanks for the life I have the pleasure to live.

My life is always in a rush. We hardly have time to stop and breathe, and before I just went with it. I was letting myself be dragged along, but since that nightmare and the day I broke up with Danielle, I have tried to stop for a change.

That day was hard. And it kept being hard for a long time because I loved her and I missed her, but I was sure it was the right choice. I’m still sure it was the best for us. She’s fine now, happier than she ever was with me. We talk sometimes, and we’ll probably never be friends again, but at least we can be nice towards each other.

Until this girl spoke, I was just in this kind of automatic pilot. I was signing because I had to do it, I was smiling because I knew it was my duty, I was replying to their words with kind sentences that I’ve said too many times to remember the number. But then she told me this, and it was like waking up in the middle of the night because you feel like falling.

And this time I look at her.

She’s lovely. There’s no other word to describe her. She’s not incredibly beautiful to the point of leaving me breathless, but she’s not plain Jane either. She has something special around her. She’s natural and sweet. Her light brown hair is short, a bit longer than Louis’ and it’s slightly wavy. Her eyes are big and brown, a sweet and warm chocolate. When she smiles, cute little dimples appear in her cheeks making her look even adorable.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” she repeats after I showed my confusion. “You must be really tired and doing this can’t be easy. I’m sorry that us, fans, demand so much of your time and energy,” she explains and I can’t stop looking at her.

Fans are so grateful for having an opportunity to meet us that they never stop to think, at least in the moment, of how exhausting is for us.

“Uh– It’s okay, we love our fans and we do this gladly,” I say, still impressed and not sure how to reply.

“Yeah, but even though, you must end up dead on your feet every time. Like now, you look so tired yet you’re being so nice to my little sister. It’s incredible what you all do.”

I can’t help myself from smiling at her. It feels nice to see concern from a fan. Real concern, like an old friend would care about you if they see you tired and about to fall asleep. I can see there’s no hidden intention behind her words. She really means what she’s saying, she is really apologizing for having us there instead of getting some rest.

The little girl ends up doing her show. She’s a lovely girl, so charismatic and full of energy. I’m sure all of us had fallen under her charm, and she’s smiling; proud of herself. The girl in front of me turns to look at the little girl and as I look at her clapping and smiling like a proud mum, I realise I want to see her again. She has something special and wonderful that makes me feel great. Like going out after days of rain when you have to be inside, even though you want to go outside to play; and it’s finally sunny, and you’re free. It feels that great to have her smiling at you and with her eyes full of good intentions.

I hardly notice how I start writing on her copy this little message:

I’d really love to see you again —Liam

And I also write my number before someone can see what I’m doing. Paul wouldn’t let me give my number to a fan; he’d tell me that it’s dangerous, that she might leak it to the Internet and I’ll have to change it again. But I don’t think she can do that. There’s something in her eyes that tells me she would never do that to anyone. She would never give someone troubles.

She takes her copy and waves us goodbye. She takes the little girl’s hand, and they walk away. I can’t take my eyes off of her, and I see the moment she hugs goodbye one of the employees of the store. I tense up immediately, maybe she has boyfriend and I just gave her my number, making a fool of myself. But they only hug, no kiss whatsoever, so he’s probably not her boyfriend. But maybe she already has someone. Though I didn’t write down my number hoping to get a relationship out of it. We can only be friends. She seems nice to have around, it doesn’t have to mean another thing. Right? I don’t have to panic the way I am right now. I did nothing wrong.

“Liam, you okay?” Niall asks with his hand on my shoulder. “You look tense. Need to go to the toilet?”

With that question I wake up and shake my head to send away all those troublesome thoughts. Niall is looking at me worriedly and I just chuckle. “Did you eat something funny?” He inquires again, and I start fully laughing this time.

“No, Niall. I’m okay. I was just thinking too deeply, that’s all,” I tell him and he nods, though he still seems concerned.

“About what?” Harry joins the conversation as he stands up and the employee of the store starts tidying everything up. “By the way, did you see that little girl? She was adorable! And what she said last?” I just shake my head because I wasn’t listening to her, I was too focused dramatizing everything in my mind. “She said ‘I told you it’s better not to cry like the other girls. I didn’t look ugly when it was my turn.’ Isn’t that clever?”

Harry really fell under the little girl’s charm. Niall grins like crazy, and so does Zayn and Louis. It seems like all of them really like her.

“If I ever have a kid, I want him or her to be like Lizzie,” Harry carries on and I arch an eyebrow. I didn’t ask for their names, I just signed their copies. I should have done that. “The little girl who came last with her sister,” the curly-haired boy explains though I assumed he was still talking about her. Well, at least now I know the little girl’s name is Lizzie.

“Okay, boys. Time to go, the van is waiting,” Paul reminds us and Niall almost runs out of the store. “He’s wrong if he thinks we’re gonna stop at Nando’s again,” Paul muses as he walks behind him.

Louis and Harry are laughing as they follow Paul and Niall. I know Zayn stays behind and soon he talks to me. “Too tired?” He asks and I sigh.

“Kinda,” I reply, taking my stuff to go where the van is waiting. The other guards are following us while George, one of management’s team, stays behind. He was finishing the last details of the signing with the owner of the shop.

“Is there something else?” Zayn questions as he walked next to me.

Since my break up with Danielle, we got pretty close and I talked to him a lot about all my fears and what my nightmare meant. It also helped him a lot because by that time, he was losing himself in all of what was happening to us. Together we hit the brakes and started to slow down our lives. I helped him, and he helped me to go through everything.

“You remember the last girl, right? The one with short hair,” I tell him and he nods. “Well, the thing is she apologised to me.” Zayn looks as confused as I felt when she said it a while ago. “I know, it sounds weird. But she did. She said she was sorry for all we had to do for the fans, and how exhausting it was. She really looked concerned about it, like she really cared. I dunno, man, it’s like she cared for us not because we were One Direction but because we were guys. The fact that she paid attention in that moment to how tired we looked, I dunno, I just can’t get over that,” I try to explain things to him and Zayn remains in silence for a few seconds, thinking of it.

“It seems like she’s a really good girl,” he mentions softly.

“Yeah, I mean, you look at her and all you see is kindness. I looked her in the eyes and I swear I felt at peace, like everything was going to be fine. I felt reassured. Does that even make sense?”

“Not much to me, but I can get that you felt like that. Well, it’s a pity you won’t see her again,” he says patting my back trying to comfort me.

“Uh– I dunno. I might have written down my number on her copy of the album,” I tell him and Zayn stops.

“You did what?” He chokes in his words.

“I gave her my number and asked her to call me. Probably she won’t but–”

“That wasn’t a bright move, Liam. What if she gives your number to someone else? What if she–?”

“That’s the thing, Zayn! I don’t think she’s capable of doing such a thing. The worst thing is that she may not call me at all,” I defend myself for what I did.

“How do you know, mate? You don’t know her. You barely talked to her and I’m sure you don’t even know her name,” he answers back, and I want to tell him to shut up, but I know he’s right about this. I do not know her, I can’t be sure, and what I did is risky indeed.

“I don’t, I just have this feeling, and it was an impulse,” I say while looking down, and I feel his hand on my shoulder again.

“It’s okay, mate. I bet you’re right and she won’t do anything wrong, she may even call you. Who knows?” He says, trying to cheer me up.

I don’t hope she will call me, I just expect nothing wrong will come out of this. I like to think I’ve grown up a bit in the last couple of months, but what I just did may prove me wrong about it. It may prove how immature I still am.

“Please, don’t tell the others, okay?” I ask Zayn looking at him and he nods with a smile. “Thanks, mate.”

We walk and join the others in the van. At the end we do stop at Nando’s as no one can say no to Niall. During the whole ride, I can’t stop thinking of the girl at the music store, wondering if she has already seen my message, if she’s ever going to call me and why I am so concerned about it.

By the third day after the signing, I have almost forgotten –and by almost I mean I haven’t at all– about the girl, assuming she is never going to call me. At least, I know she hasn’t given my number to anyone else. However, when I’m home and alone, I receive a call from an unknown number. I’m kind of scared to pick it up. What if she did leak my number? What if it’s a freaky fan that wants to find me and kidnap me for eternity?

I have the mobile phone in my hand, looking at the screen when I breathe deeply and slide my finger through the screen of the iPhone to answer the call, crossing my fingers for nothing wrong to happen.

-:-:-:-

At the sidebar, a picture of how I picture Lizzie.

Dedication goes to Cami because she always makes me so happy with her comments and I feel like crying out of sheer happiness when I see her comments. Plus, she's mega talent you should read a one shot she wrote.

Bel, xx