Chapter 19 ~ Darcy

Mum not only tells him about my obsession with Catwoman when I was a little kid, she also tells him about every stage in my infancy and by when the dinner is over, Lizzie helps her by going to look for the pictures our mum has of me when I was little. Honestly, it’s a complete torture, but Liam is so happy about it, laughing all the time and making so many questions. I know my mum already loves him and she’s happy that we’re together. She also asks him things about himself, like his hobbies and his relationship with his family.

“I love my family and they are really supportive with my career. I wish I could see them more often, I miss them every day but I try not to drag them into my life as much, I want them to avoid all the drama that comes with this,” he answers and Mum looks at him with compassionate eyes, understanding the feeling he explains.

“I wish I could see my girls more often as well. It’s hard to be away due to work,” Mum look at us with longing shining in her green eyes and Lizzie sees that so she hugs our mum tightly, giving her comfort.

“Being away makes you appreciate what you normally take for granted,” Liam comments and I look at him understanding perfectly how he feels and what he means.

I reach his hand and his eyes meet mine, strong emotions swirling in his chocolate irises when he looks at me and I give him a gentle squeeze when we entwine our fingers together. He smiles at me and I feel like this new bonding is forming between us. Carter, my only real friend, never understood what it feels to have your family away, being on your own when you’re still so young; but Liam does. He understands perfectly how I feel and I understand him, and that makes me feel so close to him now. Closer than we’ve ever been.

After that moment, Lizzie’s time to go to bed comes quickly and it’s the moment to call it a night, so my little sister and mother say goodbye to Liam and leave us alone in the living room. “It was a lovely night. Thanks for coming,” I tell him when we’re walking towards the door.

“I had a great time. Your mum is pretty cool.” I feel so proud of my mum when he says that. “I hope we can repeat this soon,” adds Liam passing his arm over my shoulders.

“Sure. Mum loves you already, she’ll be happy having you here every night,” I say in a light tone, never losing my smile.

“Uh, that’s so tempting. Delicious food and I get to spend time with you, I think you’ll have me here every night.” I giggle at his joke and poke his belly.

“You’re gonna get fat then,” I joke and he just waves a hand dismissively. “But that’d be good considering how skinny you’re now.” He really is skinny, more than before. I think he’s lost some weight since the last time I saw him.

“Then it’s a win-win situation. I’ll be here tomorrow,” he replies in a playful tone, ignoring my previous commentary of him being too skinny. “Good night, Darcy. I’ll see you soon,” Liam says turning around until we’re face-to-face, his eyes fixed on me.

“Drive carefully and text me when you get home. And kiss Brit for me,” I instruct him and he smiles.

“Don’t I get I kiss?” I giggle again, feeling the heat in my cheeks.

I don’t answer with words, I just stand on my tiptoes and take my lips to meet his in a soft and tender kiss, slow and sweet. His hands stay on my waist, keeping me there next to him while my hands cup his face. “Good night,” I whisper against his lips and I feel him breathing in deeply.

Slowly, he steps back and the distance between us grows. I’m reluctant to let him go, but it’s late already. It’s okay, I’ll see him soon; somehow we’ll find the time to be together again.

By when he leaves, I just hope we find that time soon.

* * *

I’m in my bed reading a book before going to sleep, though its probably going to be really late because I don’t see how I’m gonna put down this book. Lauren Oliver has me already hooked with Requiem. But I’m forced to tear my gaze away from the book and look at my mum who’s walking calmly to my bed. She sits next to me without making a comment, she’s looking at the book on my lap.

“Is it good?” She asks and I nod, still waiting to know what she wants. “Good, but don’t stay till too late reading it, okay?” I nod again and she sighs, this time her eyes are on me and I’m sure she has something to say, but she doesn’t know how to express it. “I like Liam, he’s a good lad and it’s obvious he cares about you. You still know I wish you and Carter would happen,” she says and I know it’s not exactly what she wants to tell me, but it’s one of the things.

“But that won’t happen. Carter and I are like siblings, you know that,” I remind her and she sighs again.

“It’s because I never thought someone would deserve you, only Carter was good enough in my eyes, but Liam is great. I’m happy for you, Darcy.” Mum strokes my hair softly, looking me with so much love in her eyes.

I put the book aside and wrap my arms around her, keeping her close. She’s been with us for a couple of days already but it’s never enough. I’ve missed her so much, I wish she could be here more often. But she can’t and we have to make all the moments we can have count.

“I’m happy, too,” I tell her because I know that’s very important for her, for us to be happy. “He’s really great and Lizzie loves him and his friends.” Mum giggles, her body shaking softly.

“I noticed it,” she jokes and I join her fit of giggles this time. “And she really likes this Harry boy. She has told me a lot about him, and by a lot I mean she’s talked non-stop about him.” We laugh even harder, realising how Lizzie’s favourite has, apparently, changed. Harry surely will feel flattered and will mock Liam.

“He’s great with kids and really cares about Lizzie. I can trust him, like I trust Carter,” I explain to my mum and she nods, following my train of thoughts perfectly.

“I’m so happy you’re making more friends, Darcy. I always worry because I feel you’re not living, that you’re sacrificing yourself too much. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful for what you’re doing, for helping me out here, but I also care about you and I don’t want you to regret for your choices when you’re older. Now with Liam and your other new friends I feel you’re living more, having fun and your world is growing, and that makes me so happy.” I look at her and I see regret in her eyes because she blames herself for what I have to do.

When I was a kid mum had an office job here in London and I could see her every day, and Dad also worked here and we were fine. Or at least, that’s what I thought. I never new about the fights, the cheatings and all the others things my mother forgave to my father just for my sake. She made her own sacrifices for me and when Dad left us, she had to look for a better job to give Lizzie and I the life she wanted us to have, and that took her abroad. That’s why the least I can do for her is to help her out with Lizzie, plus, she’s my sister, I love her with all my heart and I will always do what’s best for her.

“I’ll never regret of taking care of Lizzie, Mum,” I tell her hugging her tighter. “I do this because I feel is the best and because I want to. I’ll have time for myself when Lizzie grows up and I’m fine with that. I’d regret if, due to my selfish desires, I neglected Lizzie.”

“You’re so good,” Mum tells me stroking my cheek softly. “But don’t worry, this won’t last too long.”

“What do you mean?” I ask her, curiosity taking over me.

“I’m looking for a new job that will allow me to spend more time with you both. Nothing is sure yet, but I’m working on that.” Her smile is hopeful and I know she’s excited but she won’t tell me much about it until it’s guaranteed. That’s my mum; she will never give much information to the rest about her plans until they are one hundred per cent positive.

“Whatever it is, I hope it works out. I’d really love to you see more often and I’m sure Lizzie feels the same way.”

“I don’t want to miss more of your lives. You two are the most important things I have and everything I do, I do it because I think it’s the best for you.” Her stare is so intense I know she really wants me to understand this and I do, so I smile.

“I know and don’t worry, I’m sure it will work out and we’ll be even better.”

Mum kisses my forehead like she used to do when I was a little girl and I close my eyes, memories flashing before my eyes of the times when we were always together. I wish Lizzie could have the same kind of memories. I tried to give them to her, but it’s the never the same. I’ll never be Lizzie’s mother, I’ll always be her older sister.

“I hope so,” Mum says standing up and looking at me with a smile. “Now go back to your book and don’t stay until too late, but if you do,” –she looks at me meaningfully, knowing that sometimes I don’t sleep when a book is too good– “put a note on your door so we won’t wake you up early.”

I nod and her smile grows bigger.

“I love you, Mum. Good night,” I tell her from my bed, smiling at her as well.

“Good night, Darcy. Have sweet dreams,” she replies and turns around to leave my room.

She closes the door but I don’t go back to Requiem immediately, I stay thinking of the possibilities. It would be so beautiful to have Mum here more often, sharing with us. We wouldn’t have that hole in our chests when she’s not around. Our family would be always complete and I can’t stop smiling at the possibility.

I don’t know what my mother is looking for, but I hope it works out and it brings her back to us. And I don’t mean it so I will be free and have the time to live my own life, but because I miss my mum all the time and I want her to be with us. I want to see her every day instead of every few months.

With my hopes bubbling inside of me, I take Requiem again and go back to Lena’s story, hoping everything will turn out right and I won’t end up crying for weeks like I did with Pandemonium. But I have a bad feeling and something tells me I’ll end up going to Mum’s room when I finish this book, crying like a baby and asking her for comfort.

And that’s what happens.

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Dedication goes to @chilipep95 because yesterday was her birthday. Hope you had a great day!

Bel, xx