I'm so mad. (At myself)

I told that girl I liked her..

This is what she said..

"Oh... Abbey, you are so sweet and a wonderful girl but I think I'd be better if you gave it more time to think about. I don't want a relationship at the moment because they stress me out and make me second guess myself. Again, you are wonderful and sweet but I don't think I'm looking for a relationship right now."

I saw her today and could barely talk to her... I feel like I messed up the friendship.. Time to revert to how I was in middle school.. Not talking.. I can't mess up like that...

*sighs* I wish I could curl up into a ball and disappear..

I miss livi so much.. But because she hasn't been here in so long the thoughts and feelings are fading.. And with Amy.. It would be a physical relationship.. Which is so tempting...

I was on the bus today and was waiting for my friend to get on the bus. She walked out with her boyfriend, and before she got on the bus they hugged and kissed.

I want something like that. I want to be able to hold someone's hand and hug them. I want to be able to kiss someone..

*sighs*

I should have waited to tell Amy..