Book Name: The Last One
Fandom: Diabolik Lovers
Author: BalladPhoenix
Content: 32 Chapters (RD)
POV: 3rd Person
Status: Terminated
Remarks: Subject for Recycling
Review Duration: 52 hours

A.) Cover

....1) Font (A)
....2) Colour Scheme (A)
....3) Relevance (A)
....4) Image (A)
....5) Implicative Aspect (S)
....6) Resolution (B)
....7) Impact (S)
....8) Meaning (S+)

B.) Introduction
....1) Style (S)
....2) Relevance (S)
....3) Allure/ Mysticism (S)
....4) Originality (B)
....5) Neatness (A)

C.) Storyline
....1) Length of Part/ Chapters (A)
....2) Prioritization (A)
....3) Spotlights (B)
....4) Composition (B)
....5) Presence of Plotline (A)
....6) Originality (A)
....7) Efficiency (B)

D.) Characters
....1) Accuracy [Fandom bound]
.......a) Behavior (B)
.......b) Delivery of Lines (B)
.......c) Mannerisms/ Talents (B)
....2) Description
.......a) Style (A)
.......b) Vividness (A)
.......c) Impact (B)
....3) Presence
.......a) Scene Distribution (A)
.......b) Impact to the Story (B)
....4) Amount (C)

E.) Dialogue
....1) Accuracy
.......a) Based on Character (A)
.......b) Based on Atmosphere (S)
....2) Density/ Weight (B)
....3) Language
.......a) Related to Time (S)
.......b) Related to Character (B)
.......c) Related to Scene (S+)
....4) Richness
.......a) Description of Actions (C*)
.......b) Linear to the Scene (S)
.......c) Creativity (B)
...5.) Length (B)
...6.) Neatness (C)
...7.) Attack (Delivery) (B)
...8.) Tags (B)

F.) Setting
....1) Direction (S)
....2) Numbers of Locations (B)
....3) Scenario (C)
....4) Names
.......a) Locations (S)
.......b) Characters (S)
.......c) Others (S)

G.) Technical
....1) Errors
.......a) Punctuations (A)
.......b) Grammatical (S)
.......c) Typographical (A)
....2) Arrangement (B)
....3) Length of Story (A)
....4) Encapsulation of Idea (A)
....5) Mood/ Temperature (S+)
....6) Spacing (B)
....7) Book Title (S+)

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-Verdict-
Book Name: The Last One
Book Rating: 8.25/10.00 (A)
Potential: +77%
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<Computation>

Cover - 8.655 (A)
Introduction - 8.67 (A)
Storyline - 7.99 (B)
Characters - 7.05 (B)
Dialogues - 8.7 (A)
Setting - 8.1 (A)
Technical - 8.63 (A)
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Cross-Examination:

In this section you will see the reasons behind the rating I gave to several categories of the book.

★Cover
Based on my observation, the cover for the book is really the right fit for the storyline because of the celestial designs near the title. The way it was done is truly impressive; the only thing that bothers me is the brightness and contrast of the cover. It made the cover to bright that it made the female's arms faint in the back splash. You will see the arms if you will look at the cover on a different angle.

I thought: maybe Miss Raita wants to set an atmospheric feel to the cover why it was done at that degree. For me, I am quite sure that Miss Raita wanted to paint an effect called "Flashback/ Realization" to the cover book but when she used contrast and brightness, it made the cover glow and suppressing the theme of the book.

I also don't know why there is a blood splash on the left side...

I wish that Miss Raita had used circular vignette and placing the focus at the female's face instead of tweaking the contrast.

The way the font works for the title is very good, it made the story title work so great at the cover. And the placing is perfect; its like gliding from left exiting to the right.

About the title itself, "The Last One" is a perfect one because the meaning of the title itself could be anything; you can never guess what the title is talking about unless you read the book.

★Introduction
Even though I gave a high rating at this aspect, I saw some issues that needs to be taken care of such as Spacing and words to use.

Miss Raita's intro is like a synopsis from a movie, the only problem here is how it is presented.

If the statements are chain of questions, you need to put a space between them so the questions could be seem individually clear.

Also, removing the word 'just' in the intro is a good move because adding it in a sentence could make the statement fall on the wrong hole.

The meaning of "Just driving along" differs from "Driving along".

To all aspects of intro, Originality has the lowest rating for a reason of the way it presents the book to readers, "NaQueQuo" format (Narration-Question-Quotation).
I do not say that it is not good but avoiding this format (if possible) and using other techniques is a good choice.

I don't know how others feel 'bout this but putting "Read to find out " to the intro is a no for me.

I get Miss Raita on this but it does not make sense for me because if the reader is really eager to know the story behind the intro, the reader would likely read the book. I mean, the intro is good, the cover is decent, why won't a reader give it a time to read? yo ne?

★Storyline
For some readers, the length of each chapter in Miss Raita's book is quite long (actually even me was overwhelmed by its size) and it felt like years to finish just chapter one.

But dear watermelons, let me tell you this:

The length of each chapter is really like that (3000 to 4500 words average) and Miss Raita only did what she had to do, she only writes the rightful scale of each chapter.

When I imagined the story pee chapter as an animated Fanfiction, I envisioned that the length of the chapter is just right. So yeah, deal with it.

As the story gets deeper, the prioritization to chase the focal points became less visible. There are many locations to show and shift on one chapter alone; it makes me feel like spinning hard core.

Regarding about the composition, its balanced, its just hard to spot. However, the dialogues are sandwiched between narrations or actions, making it blend with the whole block.

Character actions can be separated from their dialogues even though they are next to each other, provided that you will specify whose line was that.

On Originality, I prefer calling Miss Raita's storyline in the middle: not completely original and not completely overused. Miss Raita tend to mix her original concepts to non-originals. If an average reader would read the book, probably they would say its cliché because of the similarities such as school scenes and events.

Because of the scale of the story, the books efficiency to sustain the direction of the storyline becomes less because of scene switching: or moving the scene from one place to the other.

★Characters
To all of the story aspects, this one and dialogues are the most crucial because of its influence in the entirety of the books content. It makes the wind to where the story will go.

On Accuracy, I have noticed that even though Akari was blunt (as mentioned by Kou), it seems to me that majority of the characters has the same Behaviour (probably because they are brothers), Delivery (maybe they tend to copy each other) and mannerisms.

I wander why was that only Kanato has the highest character accuracy than the rest, followed by Akari then Kou. I quickly distinguished his personality and its an upside to this aspect.

Descriptions about them are almost great except for not completely describing their habits.

Style is generic; but description of their attire is fine.

Note: I am talking about the character description based on style and not based on what they looked like or the way they are dressed.

The character presence is almost hanging at the edge because of the amount of characters that was mentioned.

★Dialogue
Their dialogue accuracy, the tags disregarded, is close to perfect however, because of adverbs, nouns and the sentence arrangements, it makes their dialogues all flat at level.

The Density of Dialogues are a mix of hits and misses. If this aspect was fixed, defiantly the feel factor would be further exploited (especially chap 32).

There is no problem at the language aspect because its just hovering at their respective ages and mannerisms.

The reason behind the 'C' rating at dialogue richness lies behind the way it is paired with action description, the way it was written is sometimes overshoots because of the depth of words used.

Also, I have noticed like they knew what are the other characters thinking of the moment (evident on the narration) and almost making a chain of question-response convos that is obviously scripted.

If the inner thoughts will be removed from the narration, the dialogues would 100% work fine.

Since the story was told in 3rd person, we should keep in mind that we don't need to tell their mindsets, and if needed it should be less to avoid the confusion between what is narrative and what is inner thoughts.

A 'C' rating for Neatness because of the punctuations used on some parts, the division of action descriptions from their dialogues and lack of diversity in use of simple descriptive words. Its good to use deep words, but only good to use it sparingly and not making it default to the book.

★Setting
The only issue on this aspect are the number of locations and the scenario.

The number of locations that was present on a single page must be reduced if possible because it makes the story drift too far from the storyline and making the attention lose on the main point of the story.

About the scenario, I don't think that it is possible however, regarding that this is Fanfiction and not bringing this story to real heights, the scenario is viable.

Miss Raita's duty is that she needs to look carefully whether the logical choices could work based on the present elements that influences the characters (e.g. weather conditions, mind state, emotional aspects)

★Technical
I didn't post the numerical values on this aspects because it is only statistics, the while point is what the author needs to know from this review. Also, I do believe that you do not need to look after how many mistakes you have but look at how many solutions you could do from them.

The books has only minimal errors each chapter so yeah, its a positive sign.

Arrangement, on the other hand, is the problem; some sentences (both narration and descriptions) are difficult to read when doing a swift sweep. It felt like you'll always trip on ropes before making a 500m walk.

The overall length of the story is good and no questions about that. Its pretty complicated you known' and I respect Miss Raita for making it like that.

'S+' Rating for the mood because Miss Raita knew how to shift the atmosphere of the scene gradually and not from out of the blue. Also, the dialogues in that said scene are complimentary to the mood. Good job!

Spacing is also an aspect Miss Raita needs to take care of. The story elements are sometimes attached to bricks and its sometimes making the dialogues invisible. Narration, dialogues and character actions needs to be written separately sometimes.

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Secasen's Note:

I listed here some things I observed when I reviewed Miss Raita's book. I placed also on what degree the issue is present in the book.

*Out of place statements (moderate)
*Over description (moderate)
*Unclear Statements (low)
*Dialogue Tags (moderate)
*Narration (high)
*Unnecessary Tags (low)
*Use of Nouns as Tags (very high)
*Word repetition (moderate)
*Excess and Missing Words (low)
*Dialogue Relativity Issue (low)
*Missing Punctuations (low)
*'Orbs' Issue (moderate)

**Characters' Thought can be restructured by using single quotation marks (' ')

**Excessive descriptions that does not bind with the current scene.

**Usage of Nouns instead of Verbs in the majority of the book.

**The use of very deep words must be reduced to make the reader understand better each scene.

**Several parts of the book was pretty difficult to immediately understand because of the word arrangement on the sentences. Sentence restructuring is highly recommended.

**The dialogues should be connected to the previous one, or it needs to be 'in response' to the earlier dialogue by the character.

**Narration is very evident on most of the parts. Some can be discarded to make the flow of the story smooth.

**[C32] 'bare' instead of 'bear' in the phrase "bear chest".

++ Using the footnote as guide to several readers is a very great idea. It helps other readers to understand some words.

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Closing Comments:

I can never blame Miss Raita why she needs to terminate the book but one thing that I could say that is there are some of your fans out there scattered in the scalp of the Earth, wanted to admire you because of this book.

The Last One showed how creativity can influence and make aspirations grow on other persons that wanted to be a great writer.

There are mistakes, there are mishaps but amidst of it all, there is growth, there is inspiration and there is a lesson to learn.

This book has a replacement, the title is "Terror in Resonance" and if you have time, please visit it. Miss Raita would be great to accept you as her reader.

And for me, another review had ended, but its only the start for me to look after and guide you guys on what to look after.

Again, thank you for reading this review and see ya next time!

(Geez, I need to bring mah exhausted brain cells to the hospital, they need nutrients ;D )

-End Of Assessment -