"You can't spend your whole life holding the door open for people and then being angry they didn't thank you. Nobody asked you to hold the fucking door." –Orange Is the New Black

*

     Fitful nightmares invade Draco's mind that night, bad enough to make him jerk awake several times until he gives up sleeping altogether. He can't even make sense of the dreams. They always start out with him walking through the castle aimlessly and then ending with him opening the doors leading outside and seeing a flash of green light. He supposes it's him getting killed, but after that last one, it appeared that the green light was coming from him.

     And that's ten times more terrifying than its counter action.

     The most frustrating thing, though, is that he can't even tell Darcy about these dreams. She'd dig too deep into them and probably figure out who he really is and what he's really doing—even if she already knows, he can't afford to lose her help now, not when they're this close.

     "How about that tour of the castle tonight?" Draco asks Darcy that evening.

     She perks up instantly. "Really?"

     "Yeah," Draco says. "We'll just have to be careful. Really careful."

     "Let's do it!"

     Draco smirks. "I'll be back at midnight."

*

     The main reason Draco thought it'd be a good idea to do the tour at all is because it meant he'd have an excuse to hang out with Darcy longer. Also, he wouldn't have to sleep as long, so he'd have less nightmares.

     He mapped out in his head where he would take her. He tried to think of the places she'd appreciate most but would also be vacant of teachers or annoying ghosts like Peeves. In the end, he thinks it best to start from the bottom and work their way upstairs.

     "If I see a teacher, I'm going to push you into a hiding place, so try to be ready for that," Draco tells her before they leave.

     "I'm ready for everything," she claims. "What if you get caught, though? I probably won't be able to find my way back."

     Draco frowns. He hadn't thought of that. "We'll wing it. I'm sure it'll be fine. If not, I'll go to Azkaban in your place."

     "That's not funny."

     "Sorry." Draco thinks he'd rather go to Azkaban than deal with the end of this year. "Let's go."

     Draco leads Darcy (very cautiously) downstairs until they're near the Great Hall. He shows her this first, glad that they left the doors open. Tonight there are the usual candles flickering in the air, illuminated against the black sky. The house banners glimmer above the tables.

    "What the hell is a Hufflepuff?" Darcy asks seriously upon reading the words beneath the badger. Draco has to hold in a laugh as he guides her out of the Great Hall.

     They visit a few of the bigger classrooms. Darcy is imminent on taking something from each room, but Draco says no, insisting that the teacher will notice its absence and stir up unwanted trouble over it.

     After a quick demonstration of the moving staircases, Draco shows Darcy the way up to Dumbledore's office and the library (which he allows her to take a book of spells from).

     The last place Draco shows Darcy is the Astronomy Tower. He comes up here to think all the time—it's a safe haven for him. He points out the telescopes and other tools they use in Astronomy class, even letting her use one of them for a little while.

     She joins him by the iron railing after her thirst for the stars has been quenched. It's chilly—February promises cold winds, especially at night—but she doesn't seem to notice. Draco is sure thirty degrees is nothing compared to Azkaban. In the tower below and to the right of the Astronomy Tower, a party is raging--most likely because of Gryffindor's Quidditch victory.

     But Darcy's gaze is fixed far out, beyond the Forbidden Forest and the Black Lake.

     "What are you thinking?"

     She smiles at nothing. "I'm thinking I'd like to travel when I finish up here. Travel the whole world maybe."

     Draco sighs. "So you're going to leave?"

    "I'm pretty sure if I didn't, I'd end up with that life sentence. I need to let loose somewhere it's allowed. And I don't mean blow things up in another country, I mean find somewhere to start over."

     Draco turns his gaze to her. "Well maybe when you find your start, you should come find me."

     She meets his eyes, usually blue but today stormy and dark. She wants to keep her distance from him (and everyone), but fuck—it's hard. So she grins to herself and says what she usually says to herself before doing something stupid and reckless. Fuck it.

     Her lips find Draco's and for that tiny moment she doesn't have to go a hundred miles away to start over. She can restart here with him.

*

     Draco is completely freaking out. It's early March, and any time they use a bird to test the Vanishing Cabinet, it dies. Darcy is stumped but not giving up, while Draco is on the verge of having another panic attack.

     "Darcy, what if it won't work?" Draco asks for the millionth time that evening.

     "Draco, it will work," she says confidently. "I'm positive. We just have to work harder."  

     Draco nods to himself, trying to believe her words but it's not working and he's about to collapse. He mumbles an excuse and almost runs out of the Room of Requirement, not aware that Darcy is following him. He runs into the nearest bathroom just as he crumbles. Just like the previous weekend, he's breaking down. He pulls his hair and lets the tears flow, punches the mirror and shatters it. Only after the worst of it is over does he hear Darcy's calm voice.

    "Draco, you need to tell me what's going on."

     Still shaking visibly with tear streaks on his pale face, Draco nods. Composing himself the best he can, he takes Darcy's outstretched hand and takes a deep breath. The calmness in her eyes is toxic, making him feel almost okay again.

     Once back in the safety of the Room of Requirement, Draco sits Darcy down and starts from the beginning.

     "I was given this task last summer. I have to fix this Vanishing Cabinet because the Death Eaters are going to use it to infiltrate Hogwarts." Darcy remains stoic, so he continues. "That night, I also have to—to—" Draco can't form the words loudly, so he quietly reveals it. "I have to kill Dumbledore."

     Darcy's expression is unreadable. "And if you don't?"

     "I die."

     "By Voldemort's hand."

     It wasn't a question. Draco thinks she's about to bail on him entirely and call him crazy, but instead, she stands. "Then we'd better get back to work, huh?"

     Draco feels his mouth drop open in surprise. "You're not going to run away screaming?"

    "And let you die? No way." The fire in Darcy's eyes has been reignited. "They're using you like their pet. If you disobey, you'll die, and that's not fair. I'm helping you fix this. Nothing you say can make me leave now."

     Draco envelopes her in a tight embrace, trying not to cry again. He's never felt so safe in his life.