Jan tum pe nisar karta hun
Main nahi janta dua kya hai.....

Dil e nadan tujhe hua kya hai
Akhir is dard ki dawa kya hai.

The gazal was giving her goosebumps as she listens sitting beside him driving on this beautiful road....in a perfect weather.....

"You can switch the radio on if u want
Meri pendrive mein bas purane gane aur gazle hain"

"Are you kidding
I love ghalib"
She replied

"Really???
Tumhe gazle pasand hai"

"Ofcourse.
Mir, Ghalib, zauk, Iqbal... Aur phir ajkal mein jaun Elia... Rahat Indori"

"I am impressed...."
He was highly amazed and excited to share something this beautiful in common

"Actually
Baba ko bohot shauk hai
Pehle to har waqt tape recorder mein bas yahi bajta rehta tha
He even has those old records and gramaphone...."

"But now he doesn't listen music anymore.
Kehte hain ke ab kisi cheez se khushi nahi milti."

He could here the sadness in her voice...

"Thank you so much for coming....
Someone from army from bhaiya 's batch has first time visited our house .... For a meal and not for interrogation "

"I am glad that they invited me....
Naina do they know about "

He didn't complete his sentence and she knew what he was asking

"Not yet...
But i will tell them when they are ready "

"I just hope that they will forgive me"
He added

"The question is
Have you forgiven youself "
She asked

And he was amazed with her audacity

"I want to
I just don't know how "
He replied with painful eyes....

"Bhaiya has asked you to put an end to his pain
And if he is watching from somewhere... I think it will be so difficult for him to know that he is the reason for one of your biggest misery.
He will feel so terrible that he got free from his sufferings and you got this heavy guilt which you are unable to cope with
That you paid the price of his freedom"

She put a thought out there and he got spellbound
It was a bulb on moment for him.

And for quite sometime he kept processing this in his head.

Zindagi se badi saza hi nahi
Aur kya jurm hai pata hi nahi

Itne hisse mein bat Gaya hun main
Mere hisse mein kuch bacha hi nahi...

----------

He pulled over for tea in a road side resturant

"Kuch khaogi"

"Nahi sir bas chai"

But he returned with two cup of chai and hot fritters.....

"Abhi kadhai se nikle hai ....mujhse raha nahi gaya"

She smiled and put one in her mouth...

They drank tea with their back against the jeep....
It was a beautiful dusk .
With all shade of red and orange spilled all over the sky.

"Mere college mein ek ladka tha Sameer
Mujhe bohot pasand tha"
She started out of nowhere

"Main bhi use pasand thi
He use to drop hints all the time ....."

He turned to her showing his intrest in the matter

Graduation ke bad meri best friend ne mujhe bataya ke he is planning to propose me on valentines... He had asked her for help
I was so excited....

"Then"?
He was so desperate to know ....

"Aur phir bhaiyya ke arrest ki khabar ayi....

I never heard from him after that...."

He felt a pang of pain in his heart....
No matter how much time will pass... The idea of naina going through so much pain and he not being around for her will always haunt him.

"I never told about him to anyone.
But i feel like you should know everything about me"

"Son of a bitch "
He murmured and she laughed and he started laughing too.

"You don't still like him, do you?"
He asked

"Ofcourse not
Infact now when I think... He wasn't even that cute "...
She said as if it's so obvious...

"But at that time
Mujhe laga tha ke i will be alone forever...
Now no one will ever connect with me ...
I just want you to know that how great ful i am of you for being there....
You were there when no one was"

She kept her hand on his .... Which was kept on the window sil....
Earning an honest affectionate look from him

Her eyes glittering with gratitude

"I just wish I would have met you sooner...
I should have visited you and your parents
It was my responsibility.....
U were my responsibility"

"I could have done so much more...
I should have done so much more..."

He pressed her hand back...

And at this moment she thought that he will say something ....
Confess something....

His eyes did made half of the confession
And words were dancing on his lips to come out.
Her eyes requested him to say what he feels

And she saw him making a decision on his face....after a brief confusion.
And she was ready to hear and say it too...

"Naina i.... Main wo.... Tum...."
He leaned to her to make his point

She can't believe that he is actually summoning courage to say it...

"Sir apka jacket counter pe chut Gaya tha "

Came a helper boy of the restaurant

Making him jump back , pulling his hand away.
And she adjusted herself too... Taking a deep breath...
And the moment was gone ...

"We should leave ... Its getting dark "
He said to diffuse the situation
And she agreed.

She went and sat inside the jeep and they went on.
What was he thinking
What a blunder he was about to make ..

Behave yourself captain shikhawat
You don't have the luxury of love...
He scolded himself

Kaun kehta hai mohabbat ki zaban hoti hai
Ye Haqeeqat to nigahon se bayan hoti hai.

Wo na aye to rehti hai khalish si dil mein
Wo jo aye to khalish aur Jawan hoti hai