12/12/20xx

Dear Rus,

Shet, hindi ko alam kung paano sisimulan 'to. Pasensya na, wala yata talaga sa dugo ko ang pagiging expressive.

Pero bago ako mag-emote, pwede bang makahingi ng pabor? Grabe, nakaka-pressure palang gumawa ng letter para sa isang writer! Kaya utang na loob, 'wag mo namang i-copyread itong sulat ko. Please excuse any error that you might encounter. Charot.

Okay, seryoso na.

Alam mo ba, ang tagal ko nang iniisip kung bakit sa dinami-rami ng mga babaeng pwede mong magustuhan, ako pa talaga ang natipuhan mo. Bakit ako, Rus? I'm crass, immature... in other words, your total opposite. Ikaw, napaka-sensible mong tao. Parang ang hirap paniwalaan na naging espesyal ako sa paningin mo. Crush, I'd understand. It's flattering to know that I'm being admired by a guy like you. But for that crush to turn into something deeper? If I didn't know beforehand how serious you are as a person, I'd say you're probably joking about your feelings for me.

Kaya nga siguro pinagpilitan kita sa best friend ko. You and Tali have a lot in common. Naisip kong mas bagay kayo — she's beautiful, smart, and really sweet. Wala akong panama. Sakto pa, dahil type ka rin niya. Perfect na sana ang set-up, 'di ba?

Only now, I realized where I'd gone wrong. The moment I compared myself to Tali, I let my insecurity turn into cowardice. Masyado kong minaliit ang sarili ko, kaya mas pinili kong maging in denial sa nararamdaman ko para sa'yo. I even justified it by convincing myself I'm doing the right thing, since my best friend's happiness will result from it. Nabalewala ko tuloy kung ano ang mararamdaman mo kapag ipinagtabuyan kita at ipinilit sa taong hindi mo naman gusto.

For that, I'm really sorry. I've already made a lot of stupid choices in my life, but this is by far the worst — choosing to hurt you. You didn't deserve it, lalo na at puro kabutihan ang ipinakita mo sa akin. You are, first and foremost, a very good friend to me — someone whose presence in my life I pray will remain. At ang tanga ko dahil muntik ko nang itapon ang maganda nating samahan.

Buti na lang, mukhang handa kang bigyan ako ng isa pang chance. I'm crossing my fingers here, Rus. Sana talaga, mapatawad mo na ako nang tuluyan. Pangako, hindi ko aaksayahin ang pangalawang pagkakataon na ibibigay mo sa akin.

I'm willing to prove myself to you. Wala akong pakialam kahit nabaliktad ang setup natin, at ako ngayon ang nanliligaw. To hell with gender roles, right? I wasn't named Jeremy for nothing.

Congrats nga pala, ha? I'm really proud of you — imagine, out of all the students in Eisner, ikaw pa ang napiling maging part ng student exchange program. You really deserve it! I know how passionate you are with your craft as a writer.

But I'm not gonna lie — nalungkot din ako nang malaman kong paalis ka pala. Grabe, ini-imagine ko pa lang na hindi tayo madalas magkakausap sa loob ng ilang buwan, tumatamlay na ako. Alam ko kasing magiging sobrang busy ka habang nandoon ka. Plus, there's the matter of us being in different time zones.

Pero sige lang, ano ba naman ang ilang buwan in the grand scheme of things? Suportado kita lalo na at malaking tulong ang opportunity na 'yan para sa future career mo. Kaya kong maghintay ng ilang buwan para sa'yo.

The wait won't kill me, I know. But I'll miss you terribly, and that's also for sure.

Take care of yourself there, okay?

Jem