Tw: Talk about eating disorders, intrusive thought, talk about murder and death

Virgil picked up the letters.

You think you can stop me?! YOU can't stop me! You can't fix this! It's hopeless! How dare you fucking do this! You are the reason! FUCK YOU! I refuse I refuse I refuse. Fuck humanity and honesty and FUCK love!

fucking Shit, Help mE. no Stop. don't Help me. yUo'Re The reason I'm like this. No you're not. i don't know what's happeninG. MakE me better. wait don't. I'M TOO FAR GONE

"you both are really easy to trust"

Violence can solve Issues. Reality is a lie. your love makes me Gag. you thInk that you can easiLy fix this? if you do you'll end up ALONE. i cAn easily kill you boTh. THis is you fault. I hatE you. I don't though.my sanity has CRackEd. hElp me. don't help me. if you stop me i'll Kill you.

i Can't tell if i'll be sorry about this as i Can't tell the future. i'm sorry to anyone who Cared about me, i Guess all i can say is sorry. who am i kidding? no one cares about me. i'm worthless. not even my dad cares about me. he's too busy. no one loves me. i envy people who have found love. not that i care about that Dumb shit, i Hate love. all it does is cause pain. you give up everything to make people love you but it doesn't work. nothing works. maybe i'm going about it the wrong way. it's too late anyways. i'm gone. maybe i'll be reborn and given a second chance. maybe ill succeed this time at being great but i doubt it. once a loser, always a fucking loser. at least that's what she says.

Virgil reread the letters and he saw some points that fit. "Virgil, do you know someone named Ana?" Logan asked.

Virgil gulped, "Sorta."

Roman gasped, "Who is she? And how do you know her?"

"I uh, I think they're talking about an eating disorder." The other three gave him a questioning look, so he had to explain. "Ana is short for anorexia. Most people use she/her pronouns for Ana because a lot of the community focus is on females even though anyone of any gender can get an eating disorder."

"But why would they write that into their notes?" Logan questioned.

Virgil shrugged, he was growing anxious at the thoughts of his disorder, "I saw their face and they did look pretty thin." They looked perfect. "Having an eating disorder is an awful experience and a lot of the time people want to recover but then it's a disorder and it's hard to choose recovery. Then once someone chooses recovery it's difficult, Patton saw that from me." Virgil read over the second letter. Help mE. no Stop. don't Help me. "I think maybe they were calling out for help but they were still fighting themselves if they really wanted to recover or just let their anorexia take it's course." You can't fix this! It's hopeless!  "They thought they were too far gone to recover." Virgil remembered that feeling too well. He never wanted to go back to that and he never wanted anyone to feel like that.

"There's not a too far gone point, is there?" Roman asked.

"The only point where it's too late to recover is when you're dead," Virgil looked down in shame, "And we killed them. They'll never get to recover because I killed them."

Patton could tell how awful Virgil felt now. He stood up and wrapped Virgil in a tight hug, "It's not your fault."

"You didn't know that the liquid would kill him," Logan said.

"You weren't aware of their state of mind," Roman added. Bear walked over and placed her head in Virgil's lap, she seemed to understand his distraught. 

"Maybe they're in heaven and we can help them when we go back," Patton suggested.

"Although by the time you go back they most likely will be better or hopefully they will be and hopefully you do not die again anytime soon," Logan said.

Patton inhaled sharply, "About that, we might be turning back into angels."

Roman stood up and slammed his hands down on the table, "What!"

"Please tell me you're joking," Logan begged, "I don't think I could handle your deaths again."

Virgil fiddled with his sleeves, "We're not."

"Our backs hurt where we had wings and we found two white feathers," Patton explained.

"No," Logan muttered, "no no no no." Roman looked so defeated. "You can't die," Logan's voice broke, "You two are our closest friends. I don't think I could handle you two being dead again. Y-you can't. Please don't." A tear fell down Logan's face and he quickly wiped it away.

Virgil didn't like seeing the usually nearly emotionless friend begin to cry, "We're going to try and stay here. We won't leave this earth until you two do. I'm going to make sure of that."