For the next few days that passed, I kept on waiting. Hinihintay kong bumalik si Daddy sa kwarto ko with a good news. But everytime he would go inside my room, he would just check on me. Kapag nagtanong naman ako kung may balita na, he would always change the topic. That's when I realized na mukhang wala na nga talagang pag-asa.

And so, I decided to go out once and for all. Baka sakaling kapag pumasok ulit ako sa school, may makapagsasabi na sa akin kung nasaan ba si William.

But I did not expect that the people who looked up to me before will suddenly change their views on me.

"So totoo pala? She really lost her sense of sight?" I heard one girl say the moment I stepped out of my car. Inalalayan ako ng driver ko sa pagbaba at napisil ko agad ang kamay niya pagkarinig na pagkarinig ko ng mga salitang 'yon.

Umabot na pala agad dito ang balita. All along, I thought people would be clueless about my situation. Akala ko, itinago nina Mommy ang tungkol dito. Hindi rin naman pala.

"Ano pang ginagawa niya rito? Wala na rin namang sense pag pumasok siya. Anong makikita niya niyan? Itim lang?" another girl said na sinundan naman ng tawanan. Lalong humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay ng driver ko dahil doon.

"Ayos lang po kayo, Ma'am Aisleen?" tanong niya sa akin. Hindi ko siya magawang sagutin. I wanted to scream. I wanted to fight for myself. But how am I supposed to do that if I couldn't even see my enemies?

Pinilit kong pakalmahin ang sarili ko. I closed my eyes then I took deep breaths. When I finally opened my eyes, taas noo akong naglakad at nagpaalalay kay Kuya Dennis and pretended that I'm still the queen bee of the school. Kahit na hindi ko sila nakikita, I acted as if I was still the perfect Aisleen and that they should still treat me with respect like what they did before.

The moment I sat down on my chair, doon ko naramdaman ang panghihina.

How am I supposed to continue living like this? Ni hindi ko nga makikita yung ituturo ng professors namin. Hindi ko rin alam kung tama pa ba yung naisusulat ko. And with the continuous whispers and gossips around me, it suddenly felt like the world was too small for me to live in.

Nang dumami na yung mga tao sa loob ng room, parami rin nang parami ang mga bulung-bulungan. It was as if they were making sadya to let me hear whatever they were saying. They kept on judging me and my fucked up situation. They were too happy to know that I'm a loser now and that William is nowhere to be found right now. Para bang hinihintay lang nila yung chance na 'to para maipakita na babagsak din ako sa lupa.

Honestly, I can handle whatever they were saying. Totoo naman ang lahat ng 'yon. Iniwan naman talaga ako. I really lost my sense of sight. But what I cannot accept is when someone said that I deserved whatever I was experiencing right now.

"Buti nga sa kanya. Masyado kasing mataas ang tingin sa sarili. Dapat lang sa kanya 'yan." Nagpantig ang tainga ko pagkarinig na pagkarinig ko noon. All my life, it never crossed my mind that people with disabilities deserve their current situations. They didn't choose to have those, and if given a chance, no one would be choosing to have those in life. So how could they say such things easily?

"Huy, ano ba? Baka marinig ka. 'Di ba mas malakas na raw ang pandinig ng mga bulag?" sagot ng isa sa mga kaklase ko and then, they laughed. I balled my hands into fists because of that. God knows how much I wanted to calm myself down and let this one pass. But I think I have finally reached my limit. If Mom gets mad because of what I'm about to do, I can just say that I'm defending myself. Yes, that would make sense. Ganoon naman, 'di ba? If you're in a situation na dehado at na-argabyado ka na, you need to defend yourself. Whatever move you make against your perpetrators can be called self-defense.

Bahala na. Right now, I'm choosing to stand up for myself.

"Ano bang alam niyo ha? Wala kayong alam sa sitwasyon ko. You don't know a thing at all so you don't have the right to judge me and whatever situation that I'm in. And don't act as if you're all high and mighty. Ganyan lang naman kayo dahil nakalalamang kayo ngayon e. And you know what? Hindi ako bulag. There's a damn big difference between people who are blind and who are visually impaired. Before you open those filthy mouths of yours, you better do your research right," halos pasigaw kong sabi sa kanilang lahat. I then kicked my chair away sa sobrang galit na nararamdaman ko.

Immediately after kicking the chair, may sumigaw na isang kaklase ko. Based on the voice, I knew it was Mica. She's one of the bitchy people in my class and for sure, matagal na niyang hinihintay ang pagkakataong 'to. Kahit na wala akong ginagawa sa kanya, it was as if I always get on her nerves. Ang sama lagi ng tingin niya sa akin. Lagi rin siyang nagpaparanig and I did my best para I won't stoop down to her level.

Keep your cool. I always told myself that whenever our paths cross. I'm just not sure if I can do that again this time though.

"Ang kapal din naman ng mukha mong umattitude pa kahit na ganyan ka na. In case you missed it, you're just some worthless bitch who can't even see a damn thing right now. Wala ka nang pakinabang dito. Wala na rin si William para ipagtanggol ka. Serves you right, bitch," matapang niyang saad. I was about to retort to whatever she said pero naunahan niya ako.

"Did you ever wonder where William is right now?" Mica asked at naramdaman ko ang lapit niya sa akin. I could smell her perfume right now and I swear, I would have slapped her at this very moment kung nakikita ko lang sana siya.

"Let me tell you, Aisleen. He left you dahil wala ka nang pakinabang sa kanya. He already got what he wanted. You willingly fell into his trap. And now that it has come to this, of course he would save his ass and get away from you. Baka nga naman idamay po siya sa pagiging miserable mo." I was frozen in place when I heard those words from her. It was as if right at that very moment, all of the puzzles pieces have fit. Everything finally made sense. He fucking left me dahil ayaw niyang madamay sa aksidente.

Kung magkakaroon ng investigation about the accident, he will be interrogated since he was with me. We were under the influence of alcohol. We were beating the red light. We didn't have our seatbelts on. And most of all, we were doing something scandalous while the car was moving. If the people investigating this would find out about all of our violations, hindi lang pangalan naming dalawa ang masisira. Our families would get major blows and the same goes with our businesses.

Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kong matawa dahil sa realization na 'yon. Damn it. I was too naive to believe that he and his family really loved and accepted me. At times like this, they would never want to be involved in an accident let alone, a scandal. Who you na ako sa kanila pagdating sa ganito.

Oh, God. Ang tanga tanga ko pala.

"Are you nuts?" deretsong tanong ni Mica sa akin which made me stop myself from laughing. I then cleared my throat and sinubukang magseryoso habang kaharap siya.

"Tapos ka na ba?" matapang na sagot ko kay Mica. I heard some people gasp because of what I've said pero wala akong pakialam. The situation's too fucked up for me to care about them. After all, ang tanging magagawa lang naman nila ay maki-chismis. Their lives are too worthless and boring that's why they just meddle with other people's businesses. Typical losers.

Saglit na hindi nakasagot si Mica dahil sa sinabi ko. But after a while, I heard her snicker.

"Do you think you can actually win against me now? In case you've forgotten, ako na ang nakaaangat sa'yo ngayon. Dahil bulag ka na, wala ka nang pakinabang at hindi ka na rin titingalain ngayon."

"Sa tingin niyo ba ginusto ko 'to, ha? I've never asked for this! If you want to be on top, go ahead. Hindi ko rin naman sinabing iluklok niyo ako sa taas e. I never asked any of you to bow down at me and treat me like I'm all high and mighty. Kayo ang kusang gumawa noon. You have drilled it into your minds." Hindi agad nakasagot si Mica dahil sa sinabi ko. The room fell silent with my sudden outburst.

But it was true though. Hindi ko naman sinabi sa kanilang tratuhin ako na parang ako ang may-ari ng mundo. When they found out about my identity, they just treated me that way out of their own free will. Did I ask anything in return? Wala. So I couldn't understand at all kung bakit ganito nila ako tratuhin ngayon.

"And you've asked for William? Go ahead, Mica. Iyong-iyo na siya kung mahahanap mo man siya. You've always looked up on him and admired him but look what happened? He suddenly left without a word. Kapag nasa alanganin na, kapareho lang pala siya ng ibang mga gago. So go. Magsama kayong mga walang kwenta," halos naiiyak ko nang sabi sa kanya. Up until now, I couldn't accept the fact that William got lost just like that. I would have accepted my disability easily kung alam kong nandiyan lang siya sa tabi ko para damayan ako. But no. He's not here and he will never be here again.

Tumawa nang pilit si Mica upon hearing what I had to say. She dismissed my little outbreak and her voice came back to her bitchy tone. Naramdaman ko namang naglakad siya papalapit sa akin at para bang paikot-ikot lang siya sa kinatatayuan ko. At that time, I'm not even sure if I should be scared of her or not. Nalilito na rin talaga ako sa dami ng nararamdaman at naiisip ko ngayon.

"Aisleen, Aisleen, Aisleen... Kung noon pa lang kasi, hindi ka na nagmagaling at hindi mo na nilandi si William, this wouldn't have happened to you. Oh, and have I told you that you should be careful from now? Dahil hindi ka na nakakikita, baka hindi mo namamalayan, bumagsak ka na pala sa lupa." And right after she said those words, itinulak na niya ako pabagsak sa sahig. Being the fighter that I really was, agad kong hinablot ang braso niya. Naramdaman at narinig ko ang pagbagsak niya at doon na kami nagsimulang maglaban.

"Wala ka pa rin talagang kwenta! Inggitera!" sigaw ko habang pilit na sinasabunutan si Mica. Hindi ko sigurado kung ano na bang nangyayari sa paligid namin ngayon. If our classmates were shocked or were having fun, I don't know. Wala na rin akong pakialam kung kumukuha ba sila ng video habang nag-aaway kami ni Mica. I just had to let out whatever I'm feeling right now. Pasensya na lang si Mica at siya ang napagbuntunan ko ng galit ngayon. If she just chose to keep her mouth shut, hindi sana siya mapupunta sa sitwasyon na 'to.

"Bulag! Tanga! Baliw! Gaga!" sigaw naman pabalik sa akin ni Mica. Just like me, wala siyang balak magpatalo. Ilang sabunot, kalmot, sampal at suntok ang natatanggap ko sa kanya. Pero kahit na I can't see a thing, lumalaban pa rin ako sa kanya. Patuloy ako sa pagsagot ng mga tira niya pati na rin sa pagtadyak sa kanya.

I don't know how long our fight lasted but I just felt some people trying to break us apart. Pero bago pa nila kami tuluyang mapaglayo, humabol pa muna ako ng isang hampas sa kanya.

"Ms. Echavez and Ms. De Guia, in my office, now!" sigaw ng dean namin. I'm not sure how she managed to get here at this very moment at kung sino ang nagsumbong sa kanya. But I knew I was in trouble now. For sure, makaaabot 'to kay mommy and God know what she'll do or say when she finds out about this.

Tahimik lang kaming dalawa ni Mica when we were inside the dean's office. Kahit na anong tanong sa amin ni dean, hindi kami sumasagot. Walang gustong umamin sa kung sino ang nagsimula ng gulo. We knew the consequences of our actions but we still battled it out a while ago. Nang wala talagang makuhang sagot sa amin si dean, I heard her heave out a heavy sigh.

A few moments later, narinig ko ang marahas na pagbukas ng pinto. With the way she walks and the way her heels click on the floor, I knew it was my mom. Shit.

***

"Let me get this straight. Are you saying that my daughter initiated all of this?" Mom laughed sarcastically after saying those words. I would be lying to myself if I said na hindi ako kinakabahan sa sitwasyon ngayon. I know what my mom could do and she will not back down, kahit na dean pa ang kaharap namin ngayon.

"No, Mrs. Echavez. We're simply pointing out that your daughter was involved in this fight," our dean explained but I know my mom won't be buying any of this.

"Haven't you realized that my daughter's at a loss here? Dean Ocampo, in case you haven't noticed, my daughter is visually impaired. Hindi niya nakikita ang mga nangyayari sa paligid niya. If you were to ask me, I could easily say that my daughter is simply protecting herself from some predators who would like to take advantage of her situation.

Aisleen has always been on the top ever since she entered the school. Walang maipipintas sa anak ko and obviously, there would always be people who would get jealous over that fact. Now, they have seen an opportunity to bring her down. Don't you think that's absurd? They're basically attacking a person with a disability. We can actually bring this court right now." Just like what I had expected, hindi nagpatalo si mommy. Hindi siya basta basta nagpapatalo and she could easily turn the tables around. I had to stop myself from smiling or laughing because of that. One wrong move, masasayang ang lahat ng efforts ni mommy just to save me from this hellish situation.

"Let's not go there, ma'am. I'm sure we can settle the matter here." Hindi ko na maipaliwanag ang tono ng pananalita ni dean. But I'm sure as hell that she's nervous right now.

"Settle? Are you kidding me, Dean Ocampo? I came here not to settle. I came here to protect my child from the predators that are roaming around your school. Now, if you'll insist that we need to settle, then you're leaving us with no choice. We're withdrawing all of our investments and donations in this school. How does that sound?" Upon hearing what my mom has to say, I already knew who won this round. And yes, as much as I hate to admit it, may pakinabang din pala si mommy pagdating sa ganito. Hay.

***

Soooo, may use naman pala ang pagiging maldita ni mommy! Hahaha. Leave some comments, please! I love reading comments. Miss ko nang magbasa ng comments. Huhuhu.

But on a more serious note, I do hope that everyone's safe! Let us do everything that we can to help those in need.