"Buti naman naalala mo pang umuwi rito." 'Yan agad ang salubong sa akin ni Mommy the moment I entered our house. Kahahatid pa lang sa akin ni William from our out of town trip since it was a long weekend. When I heard what Mom said, God knows how much I tried to stop myself from doing an eye roll. Nakaiinis naman kasi. Ilang beses naman na naming ginagawa ni William yung mga ganitong biyahe pero kung makareklamo si Mommy ngayon, akala mo tumakas lang ako sa kanya.

"Magpapahinga lang po ako," sagot ko sa kanya. Just when I was about to walk past her, bigla na naman siyang nagsalita.

"I'm not done talking with you. Would you mind explaining these, huh?" Napalingon ako sa direksyon ni Mommy nung may narinig akong bumagsak sa lamesita sa living room namin. There, I saw several pictures na kuha sa isang bar. Shit. Saan niya nakuha yung mga 'yon?

"Answer me, Aisleen! 'Yan ba ang natutunan mo sa kasasama mo riyan sa lalaking 'yan ha? We didn't groom you to act like this!" sigaw ni Mommy and I had to take deep breaths para lang ma-control ang sarili ko. Ang dami kong gustong sabihin sa kanya but I didn't know where to start. Either way, iisa lang naman ang ending nitong usapan na 'to e. Magagalit siya sa akin tapos grounded ako. Typical Mom. Kahit twenty years old na ako, parang minor pa rin ako kung ituring niya.

But of course, it's all about her damn image.

People have always perceived our family as the prim, proper and charitable ones. Hindi makabasag pinggan, palaging compassionate at mahinhin. But the hell. It's all just for a show. That's how plastic my family is. Behind the facade, we're just a bunch of messed up people. Ni hindi ko nga maramdamang mahal nila ako for being me. They are just wrapped up on the idea that they gave birth to a perfect daughter who always follows whatever they say.

"When did you ever learn how to drink? Much less be involved in public displays of affection? My God, Aisleen! Ang daming nakasunod na mga mata sa'yo. Ilang beses ko ba dapat ipaalala sa'yo 'yan ha?" patuloy na litanya ni Mommy. As expected, tatalunin na naman niya ang mga pari sa paraan ng pagsermon niya. This could go on and on and I've had enough of it already.

"Mom, I'm twenty for Pete's sake. I can legally drink and I don't think there's anything wrong with kissing. Why are you even making this a big deal?" Hindi ko napigilang isagot ko sa kanya. And before I knew it, her palm landed on my cheek. If I would say na hindi ako nasaktan sa sampal niya, I would be lying to myself. I could really feel the stinging pain at pakiramdam ko, rinig na rinig ko pa rin ang tunog ng paglapat ng palad niya sa mukha ko. It was still ringing in my ears and it made me want to go against what she wants just to trigger her more.

"Wala ka talagang kwenta. You never did anything to make us proud. Stop whatever relationship that you have with that Tiongson guy. From now on, sa school at dito sa bahay na lang ang punta mo. Wala nang iba. Understood?" Upon hearing Mom's words, natawa na lang ako bigla. I already expected this. Ganito naman siya palagi e. If she thinks that someone close to me will ruin the perfect image that we have, gagawin niya ang lahat para mawala 'yon sa buhay ko. But not this time. Hindi ako makapapayag sa gusto niyang manyari.

"No, Ma. William is the best thing that has happened in my life and I won't let anyone, not even you, take away the happiness that I'm feeling whenever I'm with him," I straightforwardly answered which caused her eyes to widen in surprise. Akmang sasampalin niya pa lang sana ulit ako nang biglang dumating si Daddy. Sinigawan niya agad si Mommy at nang magsimula na silang mag-away dahil sa nangyayari, I took that as my cue to leave.

It was always like this and I've had enough. Kung kinakailangan kong mag-rebelde para maging masaya, then I would do whatever it takes just to be with the guy who gives me that.

***

"Are you okay?" William asked the moment I entered his car. He picked me up para sabay na kaming pumunta sa birthday ni Alex, his best friend. After fixing my seatbelt, lumingon ako sa kanya at pinagtaasan siya ng kilay.

"Ilang araw ka nang tahimik. Did something happen?" he continued to ask. Wala naman talaga sa plano ko ang sabihin sa kanya yung nangyari sa amin ni Mommy the other week. I'm trying my best to act nonchalant about it pero ewan ko ba. When it comes to William, para bang I can't hide anything anymore. He literally saw everything in me and he knows me way too well. When I think about it, it's actually pretty scary pala. Parang I'm this open book for him and I think I rely on him way too much already.

"Nothing I can't fix," I told him then I forced a smile. I knew he wasn't convinced with what I said and I was expecting him to ask more questions but he did not push any further. He just held my hand and brought it to his lips for a quick kiss. The gesture warmed my heart and without even noticing, my tears started to flow from my eyes.

Para akong ewan. Here I am, trying to be strong for the both of us pero in the end, I will break down pa rin pala. I didn't want William to get involved with my family issues anymore. Nakahihiya na rin kasi lalo na when I got to experience how awesome it was to be with his family. If he finds out that my mom hates him now because apparently, he's such a bad influence to me, hindi ko na alam what he could possibly do.

"Hey, love, what's wrong?" Bakas ang pag-aaalala sa boses ni William. I couldn't bring myself to face him now that I'm crying my heart out. Nang hindi ako makasagot sa kanya, he pulled me in a for tight hug. Dahil doon, mas lalo lang akong naiyak.

"Sshhh... I'm here, love. Hindi kita pababayaan," William whispered and when he said those words, I actually believed him. He was proving to me that I made the right decision. Na tama lang na ipaglaban ko siya kay Mommy.

Nang mahimasmasan ako, pinainom agad ako ni William ng tubig. He was just looking at me and probably waiting for me to open up. It will take a lot of courage for me to do that. I didn't know where to start and I didn't want to hurt his feelings either. But at the back of my mind, he deserves to know the truth, right?

"It's about Mom..." I started. As if on cue, hinawakan agad ni William ang kaliwang kamay ko. He knew that I never liked talking about my mom. Sa ilang beses na napasok siya sa usapan naming dalawa, puro reklamo lang ang ginagawa ko. So whenever I started off our conversation with this, he actually knew that it wouldn't be a good thing.

"She... She wants me to break up with you."

"What?!" Lumakas ang boses ni William dahil doon. Halata sa mukha niya na hindi siya makapaniwala sa narinig niya. If you ask me, it's really absurd to hear something like that. We thought that our relationship was warmly accepted by our families tapos biglang ganito. It was plain bull.

"She has our pictures sa bars whenever we go out to party. Nagalit siya dahil umiinom na raw ako. Issue niya rin yung PDA natin. She's so worried about her image na baka masira dahil sa pinaggagagawa ko." Iniwas ko ang tingin ko kay William habang sinasabi ang mga 'yon. I just couldn't bring myself to say it while looking at his eyes. It was too much for me and the idea of breaking up with him doesn't really sit well with me. I don't think I could do it now.

"What did you tell her?" William asked but it was almost as soft as a whisper. Without even looking at him, ramdam na ramdam ko ang mga emosyong naglalaro sa kanya ngayon—takot, pag-aalala at lungkot. I couldn't blame him though. If I were in his position, gano'n din naman ang mararamdaman ko. Just when we thought our relationship was going strong, biglang may babagsak palang bomba. It's scary and is too much to bear.

"Hindi ako pumayag. Even if it means na susuwayin ko yung utos ni Mommy, I won't break up with you. I love you and that's all that matters now," diretso kong sagot sa kanya. Narinig ko rin ang pagkawala ng hanging kanina pa yata niya pinipigilan. I was too afraid to face him. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ba ang itsura niya ngayon. We were supposed to be celebrating today but here I was, being a party pooper.

Silence filled us up for a few minutes. Nag-iisip ng dapat sabihin. Nag-iisip ng dapat gawin. In short, nagpapakiramdaman. God knows how I wanted to just hug William tightly and let go of everything that I'm feeling right now. I want to kiss him and make him feel how much I love him. But I was scared, too. What if bigla na lang niyang sabihin na sundin ko na lang yung sinasabi ni Mommy? What if he pushes me away? Paano na ako? Ano na ang gagawin ko?

"I-if you need to some time alone to process things... hindi na muna ako sasama sa party ni Alex. I'll understand." Sobrang lakas na ng pagtibok ng puso ko habang sinasabi ko ang mga katagang 'yon. Fuck. I even heard my voice cracking while trying to finish that damn sentence.

When I didn't receive any response from William, I simply took that as a yes from him. At nang akmang kakalasin ko na ang pagkakalagay ng seatbelt sa katawan ko, William pulled me close and kissed me full on the lips. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa bigla niyang paghalik sa akin but when I felt how warm his kisses were, I just found myself kissing him back.

"Fuck. I love you, okay?" William said as he stopped kissing me for a while. Sasagot pa lang sana ulit ako nang naramdaman kong bumalik ulit yung labi niya sa labi ko. When he finally pulled away, we were both running out of breath.

"So are you sneaking out right now or does your mom know about this?" tanong niya sa akin. When I turned to face him, I could see how my words affected him in such a short period of time. Nag-iba agad yung kislap ng mga mata niya. When I dropped the bomb, it was full of worry but now, I can sense relief. Para bang nabunutan siya ng tinik sa lalamunan no'ng sinabi kong hindi ako pumayag sa gusto ng mommy ko.

"Out of the country sila ni Dad. They won't be here for two months so I don't really care if she finds out that I got out of the house kahit na grounded dapat ako," I told him honestly. What's the point in lying nga naman kasi kung malalaman din naman niya in the end, 'di ba? And this time, I really don't give a damn about the consequences of my actions. If I was happy doing this, then ito nga ang gagawin ko. I would drink my problems away and kiss the hell out William if I have to. Wala na akong pakialam sa sasabihin ni Mommy. She shouldn't control my life every freakin' time.

"Hindi ka ba isusumbong ng mga kasama mo sa bahay?"

"They know naman our situation e. They promised me na hindi nila sasabihin kay Mommy. I know na may nakasunod pa rin namang mga mata sa akin but whatever. Ayaw ko nang isipin 'yon ngayon," sagot ko sa kanya as I tried to get my shit together. And when I felt that we're finally okay, pinaandar na ni William ang kotse niya and off to the party we go.

***

"Look who's here! If it isn't the couple of the year!" naka-ngising bati sa amin ni Alex the moment he saw us walking towards the area that was reserved for him. Medyo namumula na ang mukha ni Alex and it's pretty obvious na kanina pa siya nakainom.

Alex isn't really the loud type so when he starts to babble like this, siguradong marami na ang nainom niya. Well, of course, he doesn't pass on the chance to drink din naman kasi so it was understandable kung bakit kanina pa siya nakainom. Late na rin naman talaga kami ni William dahil sa naging pag-uusap namin kanina.

And well, we might have passed by his condo muna to let off the stress that we were feeling. But I swear, we were just quick talaga! Or maybe we used more than an hour for that? I've really lost count aside from the fact that we did it more than once.

"Tangina. Bakit kayo late ha? Gumawa na naman kayo ng milagro, 'no?" tatawa-tawang tanong ni Alex at binatukan agad siya ni William dahil doon.

"Bibig mo, gago." Lalo lang lumakas ang tawa ni Alex dahil sa naging sagot ni William. He was too obvious for Pete's sake! My god. Wala sa plano ko ang pag-usapan ang sex life namin sa harap ng maraming tao.

Bago pa makapagsabi ng kung ano pa si Alex, iniabot na ni William yung regalo namin sa kanya. Upon seeing what's inside the paper bag, lumipat agad ang tingin niya sa amin.

"Don't look at me like that. Si Aisleen ang nakaisip niyan."

"Shit kayo. I love you, guys!" Akmang yayakapin na sana ako ni Alex nang biglang humarang si William sa gitna naming dalawa. Ang ending tuloy, Alex was hugging William tightly with matching kiss pa on the cheeks. A lot of people laughed out loud dahil sa naging itsura nilang dalawa. Some even took pictures and for sure, it will be the talk of the town again.

Napailing na lang ako dahil sa kalokohan ng magkaibigan na 'to. Nang mahimasmasan sila sa kahihiyang naramdaman nila, Alex immediately gave us some shots to get the party started. I gladly accepted the shot glass and drank it in one go. Sumayad agad sa lalamunan ko yung init ng alcohol but once I got over it, nagdire-diretso na rin ang inom ko.

"Woah, easy there. We've got all the time in the world, love," William whispered as he snaked his arm around my waist. Just his whisper and presence alone made me feel more drunk than how I really felt. Lunod na lunod ako sa halo-halong emosyong ipinararamdam niya sa puso at katawan ko. The alcohol and him were making me hot and bothered... and damn me for wanting to kiss him right here, right now.

Before I could even think twice, tinungga ko ang isa pang shot ng tequila na nasa lamesa. After drinking it, umikot agad ako at sinunggaban ko ng halik si William. He was surprised with the bold move that I just made but I don't care anymore. Bahala nang magwala si Mommy for all I care. Right now, all that I wanted to do was to drink and to kiss the guy in front of me.

"Are you sure about this?" nag-aalangang tanong ni William when he pulled away from the kiss. Tinaasan ko agad siya ng kilay dahil doon.

"When did you even care about this? Noon pa naman tayo naghahalikan kahit nasa loob tayo ng bar ah?" tanong ko sa kanya habang pinaglalaruan ng mga daliri ko ang buhok niya. His hair was already disheveled dahil na rin sa ilang ulit na pagsabunot ko sa kanya kanina. He didn't even bother to fix bago kami pumunta rito sa party. Maybe that's why Alex immediately got the idea na may ginawa pa nga kami bago kami dumiretso rito sa bar.

Upon hearing my answer, narinig ko ang mahinang pagmumura ni William and I had to stop myself from laughing because of this. He looked like he was torn between stopping or kissing me. But when I moved even closer to him and started to kiss him on his jaw, I knew that I just broke the last string that he was holding on to.

"Fuck it!" malutong na mura ni William and he harshly pulled me in for an earth-shattering kiss. I heard some people whistling because of that pero imbis na mahiya, mas lalo lang akong nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na palalimin pa ang halik na pinagsasaluhan naming dalawa. And when I felt William's hands roaming around my body, I just had to smile and savor every second that his lips were touching mine.

See this, Mom? This is me breaking all the damn rules to be truly happy.

The kiss lasted more than I what I have expected. Ramdam na ramdam ko na ang pag-init ng katawan ko dahil doon. I wanted to do something to extinguish this fire that I am feeling pero alam kong hindi naman posible 'yon ngayon. And William's hands were not even helping at all! Mas lalo lang akong nag-iinit at iba na ang nararamdaman ko lalo na pagitan ng mga binti ko.

When William pulled away from our kiss, habol na namin ang hininga naming dalawa. He had this look on his face na para bang hindi na niya alam ang gagawin. Sunod-sunod na mura ang kumawala mula sa bibig niya. Being insanely close with him, I knew he was already hard.

"Damn it. Stop laughing, love. Kasalanan mo kung bakit ako nagkakaganito ngayon. You're driving me crazy." I tried my best not to laugh but every time his body brushes against mine, I can't help but chuckle dahil ramdam na ramdam ko na ang frustration niya.

"Relax, love. We just did it kaya kanina. Masyado ka na ah," panloloko ko sa kanya na nagresulta sa pagmumura na naman niya.

"It's your damn fault, love. You're too irresistible," William whispered as he continued to trace circles on my exposed arms.

"Control yourself. Nakahihiya sa best friend mo. We just can't leave the party not when we arrived late already," sagot ko sa kanya. Napailing na lang si William dahil doon at idinaan sa dire-diretsong pag-inom ng mga nakahaing shots sa lamesa namin.

Tonight, I'm letting go of my inhibitions. Just for tonight, I'll try to forget the fact that my mom hates William and maybe... just maybe... the alcohol will also make me forget the hurt that I'm still feeling now.

***

안녕!

Thank you for the support that you have been giving this story and our series up to this point. Mangyaring pakigalaw lamang po ng baso at mag-iwan ng comment para malaman namin kung okay pa ba yung story at kung ano ang nararamdaman niyo sa mga nangyayari.

감사합니다!

xxRaice