Sa gulat ko sa nangyari, malakas kong naitulak si William palayo sa akin. Sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko at ramdam na ramdam ko ang pag-init ng pisngi ko. That was the first time a guy kissed me! Sa dami ng pwedeng humalik sa akin, bakit yung hindi ko pa boyfriend? Sure, he said he likes me but was that enough reason for him to go and kiss me? I don't think so.

"W-why did you kiss me? You pervert!" Sigaw ko na nagpangisi sa kanya. It was clear that he was enjoying seeing me flustered. Damn it. I can't let him play with me like this. Hindi ko ginalingan ang pagpapanggap sa harap ng maraming tao to appear like the perfect girl just to crumble in front of him.

"Look, I just told you I like you. If other girls were in your position, they would have jumped into the moment already."

"But I'm not like those other girls."

"And that's the reason why I like you more. Aisleen, can't you see that we're practically the same? Pareho lang tayong nagpapanggap na wala tayong kapintasan sa harap ng maraming tao but behind the masks, we're both flawed. We're imperfect, we break down and we want to lose control. But we can't do that publicly, right?" William started and I have to say that he's starting to get my attention. Totoo nga kaya na pareho lang kaming dalawa? What if he was just saying those things to get under my skirt?

Probably sensing my doubt over his words, William held my hands and he continued staring into my eyes. It was as if he was looking at my very soul. Nakakapangilabot na nakakailang pero hindi ko naman magawang mag-iwas ng tingin. Para akong na-magnet o na-hypnotize sa mga mata niya.

"Let's put it this way. Think of this area as our safe space. Dito, walang huhusga sa atin at sa mga ginagawa natin. We could be who we really want to be." Safe space? Gusto kong matawa sa sinabi niya. Kahit na hindi pa ako nagkaka-boyfriend before, it sure sounds like an offer to have a space dedicated to fulfill his sexual desires. Kung ngayon pa nga lang na kakakilala pa lang namin, nagawa na niya akong halikan, paano pa bukas o sa makalawa? Oh God. I don't even want to imagine it anymore.

"I don't need your help though. So thanks for your offer but I don't want it." Binitwan ko yung pagkakahawak ni William sa kamay ko at akmang tatayo na sana ako mula sa kinauupuan ko nung nagsalita na naman siya.

"Let's try this out for a month. No, kahit one week lang. Please, Aisleen. Just give me a chance, will you?" Napalingon ulit ako kay William dahil sa sinabi niya. Did he actually say please?

"Ano bang meron at pinipilit mo 'to? I'm sorry but I just couldn't bring myself to believe na you really like me. Sa lahat ng pwedeng panahon, why now? Bakit kung kailan malapit nang ikasal yung daddy mo sa babaeng nakilala bilang kabit niya saka ka nagpupumilit na pumasok sa mundo ko?" Just like what I have expected, nag-iba ang timpla ng mukha ni William dahil sa impormasyong sinabi ko. I already had a hunch about this pero isinantabi ko muna kasi baka naman totoo lang yung sinasabi niya kanina na gusto niya ako. Pero sa bilis ng pangyayari, I can't help but be skeptical about this.

"I just find it really odd, you know... If you really like me just like what you have been insisting kanina pa, you had numerous chances before. Don't even get me started with wala kang lakas ng loob na lapitan ako dati. You're freaking William Tiongson for crying out loud!" William laughed sarcastically dahil sa sinabi ko. May nasabi ba akong mali? Tama naman, di ba? He was known everywhere in school. He was the cool and admired by all guy. So bakit ngayon, ganito siya kung umasta? It doesn't really click for me.

"If you have read all of the letters I gave you before, you wouldn't be saying those things right now." Oh wow. So kasalanan ko pa pala ngayon?

Napataas ang kilay ko dahil sa sinabi ni William. It was as if ako lang ang at fault dito sa sitwasyon naming dalawa. If he just manned up and talked to me directly and handed me those envelopes himself, we wouldn't be having this dilemma now. Or not. Hindi rin pala ako sure if I would entertain him kahit na sobrang gwapo niya.

Being the only child in the family and the only possible heir to our company, expected na sa akin na hindi ako pwedeng magkamali o gumawa ng bagay na ikasisira ng pangalan ng image ng pamilya. Add the fact na lahat ng kaibigan ko ay kailangang na-background check pa muna ni Mommy. So same goes for suitors. That's probably one of the reasons kaya hindi ko pinapansin yung mga nagbibigay ng kung anu-ano sa akin. I mean, what's the point of entertaining them kung hindi rin naman sila papasa kay Mommy, 'di ba?

"So bakit nga biglang nagbago yung isip mo? Bakit lumapit ka bigla sa akin ngayon?" I asked him again. Hindi ako matatahimik hangga't hindi ko nalalaman yung reasons niya. The timing was too sudden and too off for my liking. So kahit soft yung lips niya, hindi ako pwedeng basta na lang bumigay!

"Would you rather let the people know na kaya hindi ako makalapit sa'yo dahil natotorpe ako?"

"Yes!" Diretso kong sagot sa kanya. But after a few seconds, napahinto ako bigla. "Wait. Ano?"

"You heard me."

"Pinaglololoko mo ba ako? You're saying na natotorpe ka pero kung makahalik ka kanina, you're acting like you're an expert in this field. You're underestimating me way too much. Hindi ako tanga." Naiinis kong sagot sa kanya. Grabe kung sumigaw yung confidence niya kanina nung bigla niya na lang ako hinatak para halikan tapos ngayon, ganito siya? I really don't get it. Ang labo niyang kausap. His words and actions do not match at all!

Napansin kong hindi na mapakali sa pagkakaupo si William. He continues to shift on his sit at pinaglalaruan niya na rin yung kamay ko na hawak na naman niya. The moment our eyes met again, iba na ang nakikita ko roon ngayon—kaba, hiya at hindi kasiguraduhan.

"Fuck. Tanga rin ako pagdating dito, okay? I don't know how I should act and what I should say. Look, if I'm really an expert like what you're saying, we would have been a couple already by now. Madadala ka na dapat sa sinasabi ko at sa ginawa kong paghalik sa'yo." William said and he suddenly paused, as if thinking what to say next. Pero nung napansin kong nakatingin siya sa lips ko, bigla na lang akong napalunok.

Damn it. Ganoon ba talaga ako ka-irresistible?

"You know what? Forget everything I've just said." Napanganga ako sa sinabi niya. Pagkatapos niyang guluhin yung utak at puso ko, biglang forget na lang agad? I was about to throw a fit at akmang hahampasin ko na siya nung bigla na naman siyang nagsalita.

"Forget about those damn letters. Forget the scene I caused earlier. Forget all of the negative thoughts that are running inside your mind. If I have to appear stupid just to have you beside me, then let's just be stupid together, shall we?" Bago pa ako makapag-react sa sinabi niya, I just felt my heart beating fast. And when he kissed me again, I decided to break down my walls and kiss him back this time.

Oh, God. This better be worth it.

***

"Don't you think we're going a bit too fast?" I asked William while we were watching a movie. Magkatabi kaming dalawa sa sofa at pinaglalaruan na naman niya yung kamay ko. Humiwalay siya saglit sa akin just to look at my face for a while.

"What? Huwag mo nga akong tingnan nang ganyan. Para kang ewan." I jokingly smacked him in the face para lang hindi na niya ako titigang maigi. I was getting conscious by his stares na hindi ko naman nararamdaman noon. Or maybe I just didn't notice na matagal na pala niya akong pinagmamasdan kahit sa malayo. Shemay. Just the thought of it makes me feel giddy. Who would have thought naman nga kasi, 'di ba?

"I realized something today." William said and my brow shot up because of that. I was curious, okay? Ang galing naman kasing mambitin nitong lalaking 'to e. Whenever he talks, pakiramdam ko, nasa edge ako or something. Para akong mahuhulog sa bangin anytime soon dahil hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong i-expect na karugtong ng mga sasabihin niya.

"I like seeing you blush." Pakiramdam ko, lalong nag-init ang mga pisngi ko dahil sa sinabi niya. And as if on cue, tumawa si William dahil sa naging reaksyon ko.

"Ugh. I hate you!" I was about to cover my face with my hands para itago yung lalo ko pang namumulang mga pisngi pero hinawakan agad ni William yung mga kamay ko. Ang laki laki pa ng ngiti niya and it was as if he's enjoying seeing me like this.

My god. This is torture, okay?

"But seriously. Don't you think we're going too fast? I mean, we barely know each other. We've just met and talked today and yet here you are, claiming to be my boyfriend. Ang sabi mo kanina sa school, go out on a date lang. Bakit ngayon, you're insisting na tayo na agad? Plus, nakarami ka na rin kaya ng kiss! God. My mom would kill me if she finds out about this." Nagseryoso bigla ang mukha ni William dahil sa sinabi ko. I told him a while ago how my mom deals with my friends.

As expected, nagulat siya na gano'n kahigpit si Mommy sa akin but he realized that we've been in the same boat for quite some time already. Sure, hindi siya dinidiktahan ng parents niya tungkol sa mga magiging kaibigan niya but his whole life was almost planned out for him already. From his school to his course and what he will do after he graduates, lahat ng 'yon, planado na. Hindi naman na uso ang arranged marriage but if it was possible, baka nga pati yung pakakasalan daw niya, naka-plano na rin. So basically, what he was doing right now with me could probably destroy his parents' plans for him or not.

"Let me handle her, okay? Ihahatid kita sa inyo mamaya tapos magpapakilala na rin ako sa kanya. Just let me do the talking. And besides, we've already wasted too much time. Kung noon mo pa sana kasi pinansin yung sulat ko, e 'di hindi ka sana nabibilisan ngayon."

"Ang taas ng self-confidence mo, ha. You don't know my mom. God. I could already imagine yung mga litanya at facial expressions niya later. Daig pa kaya niya yung pari kung mag-sermon." Napapailing na sabi ko kay William. Pero imbis na bigyan niya ako ng assurance na magiging okay lang ang lahat, pinagtawanan niya lang ako. Sinamaan ko naman siya ng tingin dahil doon.

"I've met her before. She seems nice." Nanlaki ang mga mata ko dahil sa sinabi ni William. I couldn't believe it. Magkakilala na pala sila pero bakit ngayon ko lang nalaman? If Mommy was nice in front of him, she should have gushed about him already. Pero wala naman siyang na-mention as in nothing, nada.

"What? Kailan? Paano? Why hasn't she mentioned you at all if you have met before?" Dire-diretso kong tanong sa kanya.

"Why? Would you be interested in meeting me if she told you about it?" Napaisip ako sa sinabi niya. He has a point though. Yes, I knew his name long before pa pero the thought of meeting him outside school just because sinabi ni Mommy makes me feel weird. Ano 'to? Blind date or something?

"See? That's the reason why I just made a move on my own."

"Which failed big time." I finished for him pero umiling lang siya sa sinabi ko.

"Who says I failed? I got you beside me now, didn't I?" Nakasinging sabi ni William and for the nth time today, my heart started to beat faster than usual. I think I should probably stop drinking four cups of coffee a day. With William's words pa lang, para na yata akong nagpa-palpitate. So help me God!

***

Hi readers!

Maraming maraming salamat po sa patuloy na suporta na ibinibigay ninyo sa series namin na ito. Thank you po sa mga comments niyo. Please keep them coming. Mas namomotivate po kaming magsulat dahil sa mga comments niyo. 💕

Let me know your thoughts about this chapter!

Raice