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Okay since I mentioned the ribbons, I decided that would be the next blurb I wrote. This takes place before the other story
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Once again, it was a pretty normal day for the two bros. John was just sitting in his desk chair, messing around with his old ass web browser while Dave sat on his bed, back relaxing against the wall because who the hell wants to actually sit up properly. Dave was feeling pretty bored, and lets face it, when faced with boredom he's gonna start doing ironic shit.

"Hey, John?"

"Hmm?" was the grunted reply.

"Have I told you, you have a fine ass?"

"Dave! What the hell?" Ahh, there was that cute Egderp flush.

"Really. It's a dish of fine ass served with a side of hot damn. It's so hot I drop it and trip over the rug."

"...."

"...."

"What the hell?"

"What do you mean? I'm just paying you a compliment."

"Really?"

"Yes. You got a fine ass, and I needed to tell you that."

"..."

"..."

"You're a dork."

"Damn straight I am, or not since ya know I'm gay. Anyway, I'm the biggest dork there ever was."

"I don't doubt." John chuckled.

"Even got a ribbon to prove it."

"Wha... a ribbon?"

"Yeah, like the kind you get at a state fair except instead of saying 'first prize hog' it says 'first prize dork.'" Dave smirked as he watched Egbert give him that look of disbelief. It was one of his best faces.

"You do not."

"I do too."

"Lies."

"Hell no, here it is." Dave told him as he reached into his pocket for his wallet. Out he pulled a bright green ribbon with the words "first prize dork" writing in the same bright green on the white cardboard face of it. He smirked as he watched John just stare at it agog for a minute before he burst out laughing.

"Oh my gog! You actually have a ribbon naming you first prize dork!" he snorted, pounding his fist on the desk. "J-jegus... where the hell did you get that?! Oh gog I need a pic of you wearing that..." Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades.

"Jade made it for me."

"She actually made you a ribbon, and you keep it?" he asked as he wiped away a tear.

"Of course. Jade made it for me."

"...."

"What?"

"You love it don't you?"

"Love what?"

"The ribbon."

"Jade made it for me. What do you think?"

"So you wear it unironically?"

"Okay, no. You're missing the point once again, Egderp. She made it for me ironically. I wear it ironically. That's all there is to say on this matter."

"You totally wear it unironically. Don't lie."

"Egbert, no. It is another layer of irony you can't comprehend."

"Riiight," John said with a roll of his eyes. "Do you have anymore Jade made you?"

"Nah. She only made me one, but I have others."

"Wait... who else would make you one?"

"Roxy, Dirk, Jake, Rose, Karkat, Terezi, ect. You're behind on the times like always."

"All of those people make you ribbons, and I didn't know about it?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"It's not our job to make sure you know shit. Damn, if you wanna know shit you got to be inquisitive."

"Okay, ass, what does Roxy's ribbon say?"

"First prize cutie, wonk wink."

"...that's really cute."

"I know you're jealous."

"No!" John told him flustered. Ahh there came that cute Egbert blush again.

Dave got up from the bed, walking to stand before John. He leaned over, using his right hand to support himself on the desk. He got close to his face, smirking.

"It's okay. You're always number one cutie in my book." he said as he pecked his lips. John's face flushed deeper, and he looked away.

"You're so cheesy."

"Got a ribbon for that too."

***********

Wow it's been awhile since I updated. It was just really hard to get this one started. Anyway~ enjoy the dork that is Dave

-
Lil Swiss