dear miss victoria,

thank you for sending a letter in to me! of course, i apologize for the delay in getting this reply, but i'm sure you can understand it. they ran commercials for this 'opportunity' (or so they call it) everywhere, so a rather sizable amount of letters got here before yours did, since you live in the states and all. how is it there, by the way? i've been, of course, but i didn't quite get to indulge in it the way i had wanted to. cameras and fans galore had followed us around the entire time.

anyway, i hope this doesn't take too long to get there. i had to pick and choose between what letters i wanted to respond to, and while that sounds rude; you should've seen the pile i had. the entire thing was enough to fill up a presidential suite bath tub! (don't ask why i had the suite... i just like a big bathroom, that's all). i trust you realize you're one of very few that i've responded to, so i suppose you could call yourself lucky?

take care!

paul mccartney.

p.s. if you could attach a photo of yourself in your response to this one, it would do me a mighty favour. i'd like to really get to know you!