Prologue

"I bet you're even sexier and hotter in person..."

I have been exchanging conversations with this lady I matched on Tinder for over an hour now. She's quite my type—the boldness, the bottle-type body, and the sexy thick lips. Even imagining it now, I bet I wouldn't take too long if we did it. But of course, I know who I'm dealing with and once they saw me in person, they might get disappointed.

But who gives a crap? Dating is hard and fuck people for making it too complicated.

My head instantly landed when someone opened the door. Bumungad naman ang nakatatandang kapatid kong babae and she's talking to me directly but I couldn't even understand what she's saying. I can understand a few from lip-reading but not when my sister talks.

"Deaf," I said, pointing my ear and shaking my head.

Millarca, who's five years older than me, grunted and rolled her eyes on me. Lumapit naman ito sa akin habang may tina-type sa kanyang cellphone. Iniharap naman niya sa akin ang notes ng kanyang phone kasama ang mga itinype niya.

Dad demanded us not to go anywhere. We'll have a guest coming at 8 PM.

"Okay? Do you understand?" She speaks, but all I could do was to read her lips articulating those words. Tinanguan ko na lang din naman siya at dali-dali rin siyang lumabas ng kwarto. She used to do sign language when we were younger but I guess she loses it when there's a lot of things going in her life. We still communicate though but it was still hard for me.

Bumalik naman ang atensyon ko sa kausap ko. She already sets a time for our meeting later. I groaned, turned off the phone and put it on the bedside table. It was my chance to take someone out and there's always something that stops me from having it. But I think I'll be able to meet this lady later at thirty past eight.

I looked at the wall clock and it said half an hour before eight. I decided to take a bath and groom myself because who knows how this night will end up, right? This might be the perfect girl for me.

I quickly took a bath then picked something formal just like what we usually do when someone visited our home. The Foyer always made themselves look elegant and presentable in front of others. People admire our family, our wealth, and what we have right now. Though people are always after the fortune and not with what's happening. I'm not fortunate. Pakiramdam ko, ibang-iba ako sa kanila. I feel like a failure of being one of the Foyers. Napaka-perpekto nila; akala mo walang maipipintas dahil nasa kanila na ang lahat pero kapag itatabi na nila ako sa kanila, I feel like a lost puppy. I'm treated like a Foyer but I feel like I don't belong.

I wore a white long sleeve underneath the fit-tailored, expensive navy-blue blazer from Saint-Laurent. I wore the same color for my slacks and with a pair of oxford, brogue leather lace-up shoes. I looked at the mirror and brushed my hair with a little wax on it. When I think I can already make their heads turn to me, this might do it. Before I left the room, I showered myself with a nice perfume from Givenchy.

Lumabas na rin naman ako ng kwarto at nakasalubong ko pa si Millarca. She smiled to me and we both headed to the foyer where our parents and the guests are already exchanging greetings. Mabilis kong hinahanap kung may kasama ba silang babae na ka-edad ko pero wala. These two old guests may be in their sixties are our parent's business partners.

My father looked at me but immediately shifted his attention away; biglang nawala ang ngiti sa labi ko. I'm just trying to be polite but somehow, they don't care. Nang makababa kami ng hagdan ay pinakilala naman kami ng aming parents sa aming guests. Millarca was very vocal with her greetings, she made them giggle at some point, and then there's me who just smiled and gave them a nod. What a classy act from Malachi.

"Shall we proceed to the dining now? We've prepared some of your favorite delicacies and we hope you like it." Mom said, very pleasant to our guests.

Timely, our parents were inviting big-time guests to our home to have dinner and later talk about business. Millarca has a position in the company while they are still deciding if they will give me a position or not. Hindi naman mahalaga sa akin kung bigyan nila ako ng mataas na posisyon o hindi. I just want them to prove that even though I lost one of my senses, it doesn't mean I'm incapable of doing such things.

I tailed them as we walked towards the dining hall. When we're all settled in our seats, isa-isa nang ipinasok ang mga pagkain. They lined it up on the rectangular long glass table and one by one, they opened the lid of the dishes, and instantly, the smell of every dish made a fusion around the hall. It made us all hungry and excited.

Nagsimula naman kaming kumain. I was unbothered on my side when they don't actually put their attention to me. Kain lang ako nang kain. I couldn't even hear them talking anyway.

Kinalabit naman ako ni Millarca na katabi ko laman. She pointed her ear and I read her lips saying, "Where's your hearing aid?"

I patted the left pocket of my blazer and sent a text to her.

I'm not even interested in listening to their business talks. I won't even get a position in our company anyway.

She grunts, rolling her eyes again. Napailing na lang ako sa kanya at bumalik sa pagkain. Makalipas ang ilang minuto, muli akong kinalabit ni Millarca and I'm already annoyed with her bugging me. Agad naman niyang tinuro ang guests namin kung saan nakangiting nakatingin sa akin.

And now what? Ako na ba ang pinag-uusapan nila?

I had to get and put my hearing aid on my ear to hear what they were saying to me. At least, just to be pleasant to them.

"Malachi, I forgot that you have an inability to hear without your thing," she said pertaining to the stuff I put on my ear.

"Hearing aid," Millarca pointed it out and I nodded.

"I hope I won't offend you with this but I know a non-profit organization for people with disabilities and I think you'll be a great addition to their growing community. They would love to see you there,"

"I'm not going to join that organization," I signed, and the guests were confused by my answer.

Millarca looks at me, glaring and trying to compose what I signed. She faced the guests and smiled, "My brother means he would love to join."

I was a little surprised when she said that. Lumingon muli siya sa akin at napangiwi na lamang. Tumayo naman ako at itinaas ko ang aking kamay.

"Oh, he'll excuse himself," Millarca said.

If that's the reason why my parents invited them to our house, I wouldn't like to be around them. Lumabas ako ng garden at huminga nang malalim. Bigla ko namang naalala ang ka-date ko ngayon. It's almost nine in the evening and when I looked at my phone, I didn't notice that it was turned off! Mabilis kong binuhay ang aking telepono at sunod-sunod na message ang pumasok mula sa ka-date ko ngayong gabi.

I'm heading to our meeting place now, please wait for me.

As I hit up the send button, nagmadali naman akong pumunta sa garage at kinuha ang sasakyan ko. It is a 2020 A6 Sedan which came from my allowance. I hastily jumped inside the car and revved the engine. Binuksan ko ang shutter at dahan-dahan itong umangat mula sa sahig. I drove my car as soon as I hit the driveway.

Mabilis ko namang tinungo ang restaurant kung saan kikitain ko ang ka-date ko. I know I'm already full and had dinner with my family but I'm still not going to miss this chance to have a date with this gorgeous lady.

The clock's ticking. Malapit na ang 10 PM pero wala akong mahanap na parking area sa side street. I just couldn't leave my car anywhere or it might get towed. I don't want my baby to end up in a junkyard. When I decided to park my car in a secured area, napalayo ako nang kaunti sa meeting place namin. As I'm already walking towards the area, I kept on texting her not to go because I'm two hours late for our meeting and I know she'll be pissed at me.

Goodness, gracious. How can I let a woman down? Damn.

When I reached the pedestrian lane, napansin ko namang walang sasakyan kahit naka-go ang stoplight. Hindi ko na naman hinintay pang magkulay pula ang stoplight at tumawid na ako sa kalsada. I was too focused on my phone that when my hearing aid ran out of battery, natigil ako sa paglalakad at tinanggal ito sa tainga ko. It made an irritating sound so I had to pull it out but then I didn't notice what happened next to me as someone grabbed me and we jumped out to the sidewalk finding out what really happened. We saw a Red Mazda 6 crashed through the stoplight.

I was too shocked. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa nangyari. The man who grabbed me kept asking me but I don't even understand what he's saying. Nawalan pa ng baterya ang hearing aid ko at hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko ngayon. Mabilis nagkaroon ng komosyon sa paligid at dahil hindi naman ako napuruhan sa nangyari, umalis din ako kaagad sa pinangyarihan ng aksidente.

Hindi ako ang dahilan ng aksidente. Hindi ako ang dahilan kung bakit nabunggo sila. Ako ba ang dahilan? Dahil ba hindi ko narinig ang paparating na sasakyan at sila pa ang kusang umiwas sa akin? Kasalanan ko ba?

Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko at mistulang nawawala pa ako sa focus. Hawak-hawak ko ang hearing aid at pilit na binubuksan pa ito. Dahil sa hindi ko paglingon sa dinaraanan ko, may nabangga pa akong babae sa daan at hindi ko sigurado kung may lumabas na boses sa bibig ko. I couldn't even hear myself, not anything. Hindi 'ko na rin nalingon 'yong babae dahil sa sobrang pagmamadali 'ko.

Nang marating ko ang meeting place, papasok na ako ng restaurant pero nakita ko siyang palabas na ng building. I pictured the same girl from the profile I talked to earlier. She's stunningly gorgeous yet her face doesn't show any sign of delight. Mabilis ko siyang hinabol at nang mahawakan ko ang kamay niya, mabilis na lumipad ang tingin niya sa akin at ilang saglit lang ay kasunod no'n ay ang sampal sa pisngi ko. May sinisigaw siya sa akin na hindi ko maintindihan. She's really pissed and I don't know how to calm an angry woman, not without my hearing aid!

And then I started giving hand signs, she gasped and stepped back from me.

"I'm sorry I came late. There's a lot of things that happened and I guess you wouldn't even understand what I'm trying to say," I signed.

In response, she just shook her head and muttered, and I read her lips. "I'm sorry, but we're not a match."

At that moment, she immediately called for a taxi and drove away. Then once again, I'm rejected because of my disability.

Napatingin naman ako sa paligid ko at dahil wala na naman gaanong tao, napagdesisyunan ko na lamang na bumalik sa parking kung nasaan ang sasakyan ko. I started the engine and decided to stroll around the area.

Napangisi naman ako nang maalala ko 'yong aksidente. What if I'm the one who had an accident? Pa'no na lang kaya kung hindi ako niligtas do'n? Maybe my life would be easier because I don't need to be a slave of my own disability. It just made my life so hard, so pitiful.

I stopped the car when I reached a bridge and stood behind the railings, I looked down below and saw the calm flow of the river. I tried to close my eyes as if I'm listening to the sound when in fact, it's not really happening in this world. But what if this ain't my world? Do I deserve to be here? I feel like no one's even gonna miss me when I'm gone.

And so I looked down below the bridge. Will it be worth it?

***

Hi! Thank you for reading Let Me Hear! I wanna know your feedback too!

And don't forget to check @areyaysii and@PrincessThirteen00  Prologue too! Thank you so much! 

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