Chapter 2

I hardly opened up my eyes and immediately felt my arms getting numb. I couldn't freely move my head from the neck brace and a breathing tube on my mouth. When I tried to remember what happened, I just had to think that it was the worst birthday I ever had. I couldn't remember clearly as it was all blurry in my head, but I could think that there was a lady who was trying to seduce me and then drugged me.

Fuck. That's it. That's the reason I woke up in a hospital bed right now.

I examined the room and I might be in a private room right now. Nangingibabaw ang lamig sa paligid pero parang wala lang sa akin 'yon. I felt like I should've died last night so how am I alive? Pumapasok sa utak ko na ang ilang mga katanungan na ayokong isipin pero pilit na bumabaon.

Why didn't I die? Why am I alive? Why did they save me when there's too much wrong in me?

Kung minamalas nga naman talaga ako. When there's an opportunity to be dead, hindi pa natuloy. Why the world keep making my life suck? Ano bang nagawa ko para ibagsak sa akin ang sitwasyong ito? Do I really deserve this? Do I really deserve to be treated like this? I feel like I shouldn't be born at all so I don't have to deal with all these craps. Nakakapuñeta.

"Kai!" Millarca called when she saw me awake. "Wait," she muttered and took the hearing aid from her purse and placed it on my ear. "Ayos na ba? Naririnig mo ba ako ng maayos?"

I hummed to confirm her question. Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga at pinunasan ang pinagpapawisan niyang noo.

"You made us all worried. Lalo na si Mommy. She wouldn't leave the room not until you woke up. Mabuti na lang ay napilit siya ni Dad na umuwi para makapagpahinga ng maayos. I was here since last night, ako ang nagbantay sa 'yo... and I thought I'm gonna lose you—" her voice cracked and tears betrayed her. Pinunasan niya kaagad ang luha niya at natawa. "Look what you did to your sister. Not funny but I'm glad you're still here..."

She was about to hug me but because I still have something in my mouth, she just held and gripped my hand tightly.

"I'll just get the doctor and let them know. Don't die, Kai. I'm warning you," she laughed before leaving the room.

Then I look at the ceiling. If I died last night, what would happen the day after? Pupuntahan ba nila ako sa burol ko kasi wala na ako and they were sad because I'm gone? Why don't they appreciate me when I'm still alive? Bakit kailangan pang mamatay para lang masabing sayang ang buhay ko? There are two different situations and those aren't good for me, either I'd be dead or not, people would still not gonna choose me.

Hindi ako kapili-pili. Hindi ako kailanman pipiliin.

Because every time I wanted them to listen to me, they wouldn't put their attention to me. And that's being a person with disability in a wealthy family.

A moment later, Millarca came back and she was followed by a Doctor behind her. Sinundan 'ko naman ng tingin ang dalawa at nag-usap sila na parang hindi nakasaksak ang device sa tainga ko. Bumaling ang atensyon ng Doctor sa akin upang ipaalam sa akin ang kondisyon ko.

The Doctor first checked if I'm wearing the device on my ear so I would hear what he would be saying. And so he started, "Do you remember what happened last night, Malachi? You have been drugged, that's why you passed out. We've already taken the drugs left inside your stomach and you'll be fine, I assure that. We'll take your breathing tube off if your lungs have already taken enough oxygen. Someone will come to check on you later so they'll do a test and if their data shows improvement on your system. You can finally leave the hospital and take the rest back at your home. We're happy that you've been taken here as soon as possible because you might acquire possible danger if you haven't, such as death, but we don't have to think about that anymore. You'll be fine."

"Doc..." tinawag ni Millarca ang doctor at may tinanong pa siya rito.

I didn't waste my time listening to their conversation when I chose to go back to take a rest.

***

It's already evening when I woke up. I hear some little voices whispering around the luxurious private room. Ngayon lang naging maayos ang paningin ko dahil sa tingin ko ay nagising lang ako kanina out of nowhere at malakas pa ang tama ng gamot ng dumadaloy sa dugo ko. But I'm feeling alright now. They even removed the breathing tube out of my mouth.

"Oh, Kai..." I looked at my Mom who came to my bed. I didn't hear her voice. But in my head, she sounds so worried. They might have taken it out when I was asleep. Kinuha niya ang hearing aid mula sa table, she turned it on and slowly put it on my ear. She gave me a hug and then I noticed Dad who stood up from the couch to see me. "I thought you'll be gone... and I'm not ready for that."

"Are you okay?" My Dad finally spoke. I gave a slight nod to confirm what I'm feeling right now. "Good to know that."

And that was a very cold response. I was hoping for more warmth in it but I didn't feel it. Maybe he felt too bad that I'm still alive and not dead like he wishes when I heard them on my eleventh birthday and that doesn't change until now.

"The Doctor told us that you can already go out tomorrow. We're now processing the bill and I hope by tomorrow morning, you'll be resting in your bed. That's a good thing right, honey?"

I pressed a thin smile on my face. The least thing I can do now.

She kissed me on my forehead and Dad just gave me a nod. Obviously, they had to leave because they can't stay here tonight. They're so busy with their lives that looking after their children was less than their priority.

Huminga ako ng malalim at inutusan si Millarca na buksan ang TV.

"Are you hungry, Kai? Do you want something to eat?" Tanong niya pero hindi ako sumagot. "Before I forgot to say it again, the Doctor told us that you can't eat solid foods for the meantime so I can't give you those if you asked. Pero sabi naman niya ay pwede ka ng kumain ulit ng maayos after three days. You'll be fine, like a normal person again..."

Did she just mentioned normal?

How the fuck I am normal?! I'm not normal.

"Anyway, I'll just get some yogurts for you. Babalik din agad ako." Ani Millarca at lumabas ng kwarto at nang mapag-isa na naman ako, marami na namang pumasok sa isip ko. When they know that I'm fine, hahayaan lang nila ako but when they thought I was dead, halos kumaripas sila ng takbo para lang magmakaawang mabuhay ulit ako and I'm here, sadly.

After ten minutes she's gone, Millarca came back with a paper bag from her hand. She placed it on the table and took out some spoon and yogurt from it. I slowly settled on a sitting position. She opened the lid of the yogurt before handing it over to me. Dahan-dahan lamang ang pagkain ko gaya ng sinabi sa akin.

I waved at her to look at me.

"Where is my stuff?" I signed.

"Oh, yes!" She almost spit the yogurt out of her mouth ng maintindihan niya 'yong tinutukoy ko. Tumayo siya mula sa kanyang kinauupuan at kinuha niya 'yong ziplock mula sa couch. "The Tesla key's here, your phone and your wallet. Good thing kaibigan mo 'yong club na pinuntahan mo kagabi. When people saw you passed out, agad daw tinawag ang management at 'yong kaibigan mo ay tumawag ng emergency. A moment later, may nag-surrender daw ng mga gamit mo sa bar counter ng magkaroon ng commotion because of you. You don't have to tell what happened last night, but I just don't understand why you leave your birthday celebration? Mom and Dad are expecting you to be there and then you sneak out just to be there."

"Are they mad?" I signed.

Umiling si Millarca, sadness was plastered in her face. "Only Dad. He even said na nag-abala pa para sa celebration for you to leave. Tapos ganito pa ang mangyayari sa 'yo. They weren't expecting this. Kahit ako, I was afraid you'll be gone. Pinag-alala mo ako. You'll be in my wedding pa. Hindi pwedeng wala ka ro'n. And don't mind Dad, he's just being protective of you kaya ganyan ang trato niya sa 'yo. He doesn't want you to pity yourself kaya nagiging matigas siya sa 'yo. He wanted you to be confident for yourself and not for anyone else. He might look like you're not important to him pero deep inside, he cared for you. You just have the inability to hear, but you have resources. You are normal, Kai." She smiled, almost teary-eyed but it didn't get through me. I didn't feel a thing in every word she said. Pumasok sa tainga at saka dumaan sa kabilang tainga. Gano'n kabilis.

"Is that what Dad feels or that's what you feel for me?" I signed.

Bumagsak ang balikat ni Millarca habang kino-compose sa kanyang utak ang sinenyas ko sa kamay ko.

"For me, Kai..." she heaved out a sigh, one of the deepest.

***

The next morning I was discharged and was put on a home rest for a week until everything came back to normal. Normal. Nakakapuñeta.

I requested for the whole week that no one should bother me and they understand that I needed the rest. At least this time, nakinig sila sa akin.

What happened to me the other night made my eyes open to other things. Millarca was right, my parents cared for me but they still do think that I can't handle my own self. I once said that to them before and I can't say that line again after what happened at the club.

My parents also contacted me to search for the girl who drugged me and she was found yesterday. That's the reason they left early last night because they need to attend for the briefing. They gave me briefed details about that girl. She's a prostitute—not working at the bar, but targeting those men who obviously had thick wallets. I don't know if it's bad luck for me but I guess it's also a lesson for me to know the situation.

They also told me that the girl told the detective that she told me that she's a girl for pay which, in my defense, I didn't hear it because I wasn't wearing my hearing aid. I don't know if I had my fault there or I was just needing something, an attention that wasn't coming from my parents.

I curled up on my bed, scrolling through my phone when I noticed someone walked into my room. Napabalikwas ako sa pagkakahiga ko. Fuck! I was only wearing boxers and this girl—who is this girl?, just walk right into my room.

She placed her hand on her forehead and moved it forward. It says hello in sign language.

Who the fuck let her in when I requested that I won't be bothered? Just great.

***

Hi guys! Thank you for reading! I wanna know your thoughts about this chapter too! Free to leave your feedback, it'll be so much appreciated!

Don't forget to read areyaysii and PrincessThirteen00 Chapters 2! 

See you next week!