I stretched my back after finally finishing one more chapter of the book I was going to release in a couple of weeks. I checked the time and saw that it was already four in the morning.

I sighed and stood up from my swivel chair at nagtungo sa aking maliit na kusina. Sometimes, I'm very thankful that this unit was just big enough for me. It makes me feel a little less empty.

My entire condo unit was enveloped by total silence. All I could hear was the soft humming of the AC, and my footsteps as my feet padded along the carpeted floor. I turned my coffee maker on, and placed a pod of espresso inside.

Ilang minuto pa ay naamoy ko na ang mabangong halimuyak ng kape. It woke my senses up, and I instantly knew that I wouldn't be falling asleep anytime soon.

I took out a carton of heavy milk from my refrigerator, and mixed half a cup of it with my coffee.

Umupo ako sa isang bar stool at napatitig na naman ako sa kabuuan ng aking unit. It was fully furnished with everything I needed, but why did it still feel so vacant?

Anong kulang?

Napatingin ako sa hawak kong tasa at napailing.

This won't do, I have to go outside.

The space felt suffocating.

Parang hindi ako makahinga nang maayos sa aking pag-iisa.

Funny how some people wished for this kind of silence, habang ako naman ay gustong-gusto nang basagin ang katahimikan. Hindi rin pala masaya ang mag-isa.

I transferred my coffee in a disposable cup, and fixed my hair in a messy ponytail. Kinuha ko mula sa lamesa ang aking writing journal at nagsuot na ng rubber shoes.

I always wear comfortable clothes when I write, kaya naka-t shirt at leggings lang ako na lalabas.

I took my keys off the hook behind the door and went out.

The gray and bleak hallway was really quiet as well, at rinig na rinig ang tunog ng elevator when it stopped at my floor. I hope I didn't wake anyone up. I held the cup on one hand together with my keys and phone, at sa kabilang kamay naman ay ang aking journal at ballpen.

Damn it, I forgot my jacket. The elevator was already here, so I decided to just leave as is.

I walked towards the nearest park in the area at inasahan ko naman ang magiging pag-iisa ko doon.

Who in their right minds would go out in this chilly November air at 4 o'clock in the morning?

Apparently, only me.

Nasisiraan na yata ako ng bait dahil sa kalungkutan na nararamdaman ko.

I picked a spot where it would be perfect to watch the rising sun as it graced the entire world with its early morning glow.

There was something different about this dawn compared to all those others that I had. I just couldn't place a finger on it.

Nakasanayan ko na ang lumabas tuwing madaling araw, even if I knew that it's not exactly safe for me to go out alone at this time. There's just something about dawn and danger that intrigued me and had my blood rushing.

Weird, but it's where I get inspiration from.

Most of the novels I've written were thrillers and mysteries. I only did romance one time and it wasn't a happy ending.

I guess I don't really go well with love. Maybe because I didn't know what it felt like. How can I speak of something I've never had before? That would be lying, and my stories would sound half-assed. It would lack the most important component of writing- it wouldn't have soul.

I opened my journal and clicked my pen. I looked up for a bit and started writing. Words just flowed out of my mind onto paper. Napangiti ako sa gaan ng pakiramdam na dala ng pagsusulat. For me, it was the best kind of escapism.

My environment helped too.

The place was serene, and it had the kind of quiet that calmed you. I took a sip of my coffee at ipinatong kong muli ang cup sa aking gilid.

I wished for more places like this, where everything was surrounded by lush green and you can see dew drops falling from leaves- mimicking tears that fell from the eyes of someone who got her heart broken. There were also a few trees that stood proudly around the park. Together with the painting of a pastel sky, this place looked like wonderland.

Ngunit, habang nagsusulat ay hindi ko maiwasang malungkot. I become older everyday at hanggang ngayon ay solo pa rin ako sa buhay.

I've thought of adopting a baby girl once, but I didn't know how I'll provide a comfortable life for her. Nauubos lahat ang kinikita ko sa pagbabayad ng mga utang ni Daddy sa casino.

Ako ang nagbabayad ng kuryente at tubig niya. I also buy groceries for my father most of the time, dahil pag pinabayaan ko siya ay mamamatay na lang siyang dilat.

Our roles have been reversed. 

My father became my responsibility instead of the other way around. Gusto kong magreklamo pero wala namang makikinig sa akin. That's why I released all my frustration in writing stories of adventure, failure, and triumph.

But even so, writing and being an author only became a part time job for me. Only half of who I need to be.

Dad passed on his position to me as the president of the Fuentes Group of Companies as soon as I turned 25. 

Some might call me lucky. Some might even call me privileged that I was just handed out such honor, but it didn't feel like that. It never felt like that. Walang ugat sa aking katawan ang nakakaramdam na maswerte ako.

I don't think I ever will.

I was stuck in a job that I didn't want and didn't ask for.

I was happy with just being an author because I was hidden, and it was okay if I made mistakes.

Hindi kagaya ng pagiging presidente ng isang kumpanya na isang pagkakamali ko lang ay kabuhayan ng ilan daang tao ang nakasalalay. Imagine how many families I could destroy with one wrong move, at hindi ko pwedeng isakripisyo ang buhay ng mga empleyado namin dahil lang gusto kong suwayin ang aking ama.

I finished one whole prose sa dami ng iniisip ko, at laking gulat ko nang mapansin kong may katabi na pala ako. I hurriedly slammed my journal shut that it let out a loud smack. It grabbed the stranger's attention for sure, ngunit nanatili siyang hindi nakatingin sa akin.

Paanong hindi ko siya narinig na dumating? Was he a ninja or something? Pinadala ba siya ng tatay ko para sundan ako?

Hindi pa rin humaharap sa akin ang lalaking katabi ko, kahit na sigurado akong nararamdaman niya na nakatitig ako sa kanya.

He was busy looking down at a book and there was a sliver of smile on his face. I still didn't know how he looked like dahil side profile pa lang naman niya ang nakikita ko, but based from what I saw, mukhang may hitsura si kuya.

The man was wearing black Nike shorts at itim rin na muscle sando. Tiningnan ko ang suot niyang sapatos, Nike rin. Nabuo ang aking konklusyon nang makita ko ang isang silver na Rolex na nasa kaliwang palapulsuhan niya- this guy was filthy rich. It was impossible for someone like him to become a stalker.

I was still busy staring when he turned his gaze towards me. Nagulat ako sa bigla niyang pagtingin kaya bahagya akong napasigaw.

I would've punched him if I wasn't scared. I probably looked like a troll seated next to him with how huge he was.

"Do I look that hideous? My brothers always teased me about being the ugliest of us three, but I never thought it was this serious.", he said with a slight chuckle. 

Napanganga ako sa sinabi niya, but I closed my mouth as fast as I could.

Nakakahiya.

He was so damn far from being hideous. He looked like a fictional character that came out of a book. Kung gagamit ako ng portrayer, baka siya ang alukin ko.

Maputi siya para sa isang lalaki, matangos ang kaniyang ilong at manipis ang labi. His eyes were a dark shade of gray at kung tititigan mo iyon ay parang wala silang katapusan sa sobrang lalim. His jawline can cut an apple in half with how sharp it was, and his smile had somehow left me breathless.

Apart from his watch, he also had one diamond earring on his right ear.

But what stole my full attention was the book he was reading. I'd know it from anywhere because I was the one who wrote it.

I was snapped out of my trance nang kumaway siya sa harapan ng mukha ko.

"Hello? Anyone home? Earth to pretty lady!" para makaiwas sa kahihiyan ay itinuro ko ang librong hawak niya.

"Where did you get that?" he looked at where I was pointing and he raised it sa kapantay ng pisngi niya. 

Cute.

What?

"This book? Pinapunta ko sa mismong publishing company ang bunso kong kapatid just so I could secure a copy. Actually, 10 copies lang yung ni-release ng author. Limited edition. Madamot 'yon eh" he winked at me and tapped the gilded hardcover of The Fall. Tinaasan ko ng kilay ang attempt niya sa pag landi.

"So you're a fan?" of me?

"Excuse me, I'm not just a fan. I'm her number one fan! Sa katunayan nga ay dalawang copy lagi ng mga libro niya ang binibili ko, one for reading and the other one's for my collection" 

Nawindang ako sa rebelasyon niya.

Rich people. 

Wala nang paglagyan ng pera kaya kung anu-ano na lang ang pinagkaka-gastusan. Alam kong kumikita naman ako sa ginagawa nilang 'yon, pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasang manghinayang.

"What's her name?"

"Her name's Rose Fuentes, and I'm her biggest fan, loud and proud. I know everything about her!", parang bata niyang saad.

Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya.

Hindi siya sure.

"Really now? What's her full name?", muli kong pagtatanong.

I knew it was weird. I should be keeping my distance because for all I know, he might be an assassin who was sent out to kill me. But here I was, striking up a conversation with the handsome stranger.

Handsome? Kanina ka pa, Aurora.

"Like I said, she's Rose Fuentes, her middle initial is M. I don't know what it means dahil secret daw 'yon, ayaw ko namang magmukhang obsessive stalker." 

Hindi pa naman obsessive, stalker pa lang.

"What's her favorite color then?"

"Pink"

Nope. Sorry mister, but it's red. Saang site ba siya nag search?

"How old is she?"

"25"

Well that one, he got right.

"How many books have she written?"

"26, published as hard copies- 17" 

Wow, he's good.

And now, for the multi-million dollar question, "What does she look like?"

The man sighed and placed his book beside my coffee bago sinagot ang tanong ko. The smirk I had earlier still remained on my face.

"I don't know. No one knows, actually. Hindi niya ipinapakita ang sarili niya sa mga book signing. Palagi siyang naka-mask. Besides, I never had the chance to attend one of her meet and greets. I'm very busy with my work." he said, legitimately looking so down kaya medyo naawa naman ako.

Pirmahan ko kaya yung libro niya? Kaso baka sapakin ako at hindi maniwala na ako ang nagsulat. 'Wag na lang.

"That's funny. We already had a conversation without knowing each other's names yet. Nice to meet you, I'm Diandrei." he looked confused pero tinanggap pa rin niya ang kamay ko.

"I'm Sin, your name's Di-what? Bakit parang tongue twister? Wala ka na bang ibang pangalan?" napataas ang kilay ko sa pangalan niya, his name suited him in a good way.

Nakakapagkasala naman talaga ang hitsura niya.

Nice job, parents' genes.

"Okay, listen carefully. Dee-yawn-drey- my name's Diandrei" tumawa siya sa paraan ko ng pagsasalita. Binagalan ko para mas maintindihan niya.

"I changed my mind. It's a cool name" 

Well, that's a first.

I always thought of my second name as weird, and Aurora will give away my pen name, I think? Kaya hindi iyon ang pinili kong sabihin sa kanya.

"Question, Sin lang ba talaga ang pangalan mo?" he shook his head at pinakawalan na niya ang kamay ko. Bumuntong hininga siya na para bang marami siyang gustong sabihin.

"Nope, it's Sin Nicholas. My first name has a weird story actually, do you wanna hear it?" 

At dahil nag-eenjoy ako na pakinggan ang malamig niyang boses ay tinanguan ko siya.

"My dad's family is quite religious, at nabuntis niya si mama out of wedlock. Ever since, lagi nilang ipinapamukha kay Dad na kasalanan 'yung ginawa niya kaya dali dali niyang pinakasalan ang nanay ko, then I was born. Since I was a reminder of his 'kasalanan', they named me Sin. Where Nicholas came from, that's a story for another time. Or you could ask my mom." 

My forehead creased at what he said.

"I don't even know who your mom is, Nicholas"

"Don't worry, I'll let you meet her when I get a free time. You guys would get along really well." 

Hindi ko itatanggi na nakakataba ng puso ang plano niyang 'yon, and he calls his mom the same way I used to call mine- Mama.

His plan sounded far-fetched. Kakikilala lang naming dalawa. I might be dangerous, but he didn't seem to care. I didn't want to ruin the mood so I just nodded.

Our conversation went on for minutes, and somehow, those minutes turned into hours- two hours to be exact, at kailangan ko nang umalis para mag-ready at pumasok na sa trabaho, which I loathed a lot.

"Hey, I enjoyed your company so much but I have to go to work", I exclaimed with a sigh.

"Why does it sound as if you hate your job so much? What do you do?" 

He had been nothing but kind to me, so I decided to tell him the truth.

Well, half the truth of what I do.

"I'm kind of the president of our company." 

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya sa sinabi ko.

"You're the president of a company, and you're sulking like a little girl who was forced to go to preschool! Ibang klase." 

I laughed at his analogy but nodded in agreement anyway. He got it right, I was forced.

"Well, you can say that." 

Sasagot pa sana ito sa akin nang mag ring ang telepono niya mula sa bulsa ng itim niyang shorts.

"Doctor Sin speaking" 

Ako naman ang nagulat.

He was a damn doctor? He's probably one of the coolest doctors I knew, may piercing. But I won't deny that it added points to his oozing sex appeal.

"Prepare OR 2 and alert the team, JB. I'll be there as soon as I can."

I butt in, "All this time, I was talking to a doctor. So, what's up, Doc?" 

He smiled a little at what I said, at nabura naman ang pagkakakunot ng kaniyang noo.

"A cardio-thoracic surgeon to be exact, Ms.President. Look, talking to you has been fun and great, but I really have to go. May isinugod sa St.Luke's, and I have to perform an emergency CABG."

I looked at him confused. "It's a heart surgery." he quickly added. "You think we can do this again?"

Mabilis akong nag-isip, and I thought, why not?

"Sure! Here, give me your phone and you can also put your digits in my phone. That way, you can text me anytime, and I'll bug you every time I'm bored at the office" 

Nagpalit kami ng cellphone and his looked brand new.

He returned mine to me and I did the same.

"Now, I gotta run. I'll see you again real soon, Diandrei. I promise." 

Bumeso siya sa akin na ikinagulat ko. He had to lean down para maabot ang aking pisngi. My height was only 5'5 and he was 6'4, sinabi niya sa akin kanina.

"I'll be waiting, Nicholas," he picked up his book and ran towards the opposite direction from where I was standing. I was about to leave as well when he turned around to face me again.

"Hey! You owe me a birthday present, okay? Maniningil ako!" my heart stopped for a moment when he smiled.

What the hell was this feeling? And why the hell didn't he tell me that it was his birthday today?

I should've signed that book.

"Happy birthday, Doc! And good luck!" I gave him a small wave and he smiled at me for one last time. I tried to memorize his face, baka kasi hindi na kami muling magkita.

"Thanks, Pres!" 

I smiled as I watched him run, kahit ang paraan ng pagtakbo niya ay masarap panoorin.

Snap out of it, Aurora Diandrei!

In my 25 years of existence, ngayon lang ako kusang loob na nagbigay ng number sa isang lalaki, at sa isang estranghero pa. It was also my first time to talk to a guy that had sense. Kadalasan sa mga lalaking nakakausap ko ay puro harot. Inuuna ang paghingi ng number ko at ang pagpapaulan sa akin ng mga papuri.

I hated it.

I wanted a man who listens, like really listens. And I think I found my ideal man today. What a small world indeed.

Kaaalis pa lang niya pero siya na ulit ang iniisip ko, weird.

I sighed and looked up at the sky.

Maliwanag na. But this time, the light felt different. The world felt different.

I picked up my journal and clicked my pen close. Kinuha ko rin ang disposable cup na dala ko kanina and looked at its contents.

It's funny.

All I'm left with were his digits and a cold coffee, but my heart felt warm all over as I walked away from that park- happy.