[Chapter Forty-One]

With Christmas up and coming, Regulus had to admit, he found himself slightly confused by Éponine's demeanour, especially since she didn't express any happiness at the idea of the holiday. In fact, as the days grew closer, she seemed to be falling into the depths of despair as seemingly nothing was bringing a smile to her face. From the silly antics of Avery and Mulciber to Regulus playfully allowing a golden snitch to flutter around her in the Common Room, Éponine just looked miserable. He began to grow worried after he asked her what was wrong and she replied with a simple "nothing." Obviously, there had to be something bothering her, even Avery and Mulciber had picked up on it.

That one afternoon, when Éponine had practically silently requested a hug from Mulciber, had been a clear sign that she was in need but was refusing to ask for any sort of help. Regulus had even gone so far as to reiterate to her one evening that she could tell him anything and for a moment, she remained quiet. It appeared as though a part of her was willing to cave in, yet that part was being held back from doing so as she merely nodded her head and replied: "I know."

In a desperate attempt to get to the bottom of it all, Regulus approached Emmarentia, hoping that the girl would have some insight as she was considered to be Éponine's best friend outside of the boys.  The two still weren't exactly fond of one another, both of them holding slight grudges for taking away what the other wanted initially with Éponine and Éponine's first kiss. But at least the two could come together during such a moment when it meant actually helping the one person they mutually cared about.

"Well, yes," Emmarentia answered, one afternoon after Slughorn's class, " something is definitely wrong."

Éponine had remained behind an extra few minutes to speak with the Potion's professor about how she could improve her potion-making as it seemed to be relatively mediocre in comparison to the other students in class. Regulus had told her not to worry as it appeared that her potion-making was just fine, but she insisted upon it. However, it did give him a clear opportunity to speak with Emmarentia without Éponine trying to brush off anything claiming she was fine.

"Well, do you know what it is? Do you know what's wrong?" he asked, slightly annoyed that Emmarentia didn't give him more of a specific answer. He could see the smile playing across Emmarentia's lips as she appeared all too pleased to hold the information that he didn't have.

"It could be multiple things," she said with a shrug of her shoulders, " but if I were to guess, I would assume it's been the way you've been treating her since you've two started dating."

Regulus came to a halt in the corridor with a bewildered look as Emmarentia glanced over her shoulder. The way he had been treating Éponine? What was that supposed to mean? Since the time they had reconciled their past differences over the summer, Regulus would have liked to think that he had been treating Éponine with kindness and respect. And that certainly hadn't changed since they shared the few kisses in private.

"What do you mean by that?" he questioned, believing that Emmarentia was attempting to set him up. "I've been nothing but kind and respectful towards Épi."

"Oh yes and that's all fine and dandy, Reggie," she told him, " but that's what you're supposed to do as a decent human being. Don't go writing yourself a medal for doing what you're supposed to do. But as her boyfriend, there's the opportunity to take it a step higher, you know, treating her like she's your actual girlfriend and not just a Quidditch teammate."

Raising a brow, he was beginning to think the girl before him, had gone completely mental if she thought that he treated Éponine the same way that he treated his Quidditch mates or vice-versa. Because he definitely wasn't going to anyone on the Slytherin team with the intentions of kissing them.

"I think you're being a bit ridiculous, Emmarentia," he said, " perhaps I am not as open as other couples in the corridors but-"

"But that's exactly it, Reggie," she countered, watching as his expression become annoyed with her use of Reggie. " You don't treat Éponine like your girlfriend, you treat her simply like your friend. I've seen more intimate moments shared between the Giant Squid and a piece of toast on warm Sunday mornings. If I were to ever see you and Éponine walking together, it would never cross my mind that you two were a couple."

Already self-conscious that he seemed incapable of helping Éponine with the problem she was facing, Regulus had never considered that perhaps he was the problem, suddenly leaving him to feel terrible. Was that it? Was that the reason that Éponine seemed to grow sadder with every passing day despite the holidays being just around the corner?

He would admit that public displays of affection were not something he found himself comfortable engaging in, simply because couples who kissed in the corridors he often found annoying. Such as when he would spot Sirius with his girlfriend in the corridors as if they couldn't find a better place to share a kiss. Did they honestly need an audience, he would often think to himself.

"That's what's bothering her?" he said in a low voice, his eyebrows furrowing together. "The fact that I won't kiss her in public?"

The kisses that he had shared with Éponine were beyond enjoyable, that was something he wouldn't dare to argue, however, sometimes he still found himself more than nervous when it came to initiating a kiss. He didn't want to rush anything, feeling that it would make her far more uncomfortable than he felt in those moments, but perhaps that wasn't the case.

"Kiss her?" Emmarentia laughed. "You don't even hold her hand? How is that supposed to make her feel? Trust me, if she was my girlfriend, people would know because I would be proud to show her off."

With nothing else to say, Emmarentia left Regulus in the corridor, turning the corner with the sounds of her laughter mocking him until she was gone.

One day, Regulus would not fall for the tricks that Emmarentia pulled, but unfortunately, that day wasn't it as he whole-heartedly believed that he was the reason that Éponine had fallen into such a state. However, it wasn't the case at all, in fact, Regulus was the last person that she would ever blame for the problems she was facing at the time. In fact, the only person that she was placing the blame on currently was herself.

Finally, she had received an answer from her parents and she had foolishly had gotten her hopes up believing they were sending an apology and telling her that of course, she would be coming home. But Éponine was only left to feel like a complete and utter fool when she read over the letter sent by her mother, confirming her anticipated fears. She would be spending her Christmas at the Grimmauld Place and to make matters worse, they would not be seeing her during that time.

She had to bite down on her lower lip to keep herself from crying, feeling stupid for even wasting the emotions on them, especially since they didn't seem to care. They would be travelling to France to visit family members for the holidays and apparently, Éponine simply wasn't invited. She honestly couldn't bring herself to understand why they couldn't visit while she had been away at school or why she couldn't travel with them. But she already knew what the answer would be, they would just pass it off that she needed to spend more time with Regulus as they were in need of bonding.

However, Éponine would argue that the pace she and Regulus were moving at was perfect for her. She liked the fact that they were taking things slowly, still getting to know each other in a natural manner rather than a forced one. Apparently, her parents believed that she had to be around Regulus all day every day or things would crumble.

And if that didn't already damper her spirits, every time she met up in the library for Gian's tutoring sessions to turn him into a decent half-blood, she just felt incredibly guilty. It was Lily's words that seemed to be digging at her every time Gian asked her a question or appeared confused. It was true, she wished she didn't feel obligated to guide him through such a practice, but at the same time, if she didn't, she felt like she would be purposely throwing him to the wolves drenched in blood.

It was all getting to her and she didn't know where to turn or who to turn to. She didn't want to tell Regulus that she was disappointed about spending Christmas in his home, believing that he would be somewhat offended or have his feelings hurt. And she couldn't even bring herself to make mention of Gian's situation without the fear that something terrible would happen. She didn't think Regulus would personally go after Gian, it wasn't in his nature, but mentioning a Muggle-born to any other Slytherin left her heart skipping beats.

A part of her actually considered going back to Lily for advice but she figured it probably wasn't the best idea especially how their last conversation had ended between them. Lily already expressed that she believed what Éponine was doing was wrong, meaning she had already passed her judgment.

Desperation was kicking in though and Éponine felt like she had to talk to someone or she was going to explode. It must have really altered her own mind a bit because she found herself approaching one of the last people she would talk to in the castle.

Remus Lupin.

At first, it was almost what she imagined what it was like being under the Imperius Curse as she found herself standing in front of the Gryffindor Prefect with no recollection of approaching him. But she had obviously had been the one to approach him as he seemed just as puzzled by the situation as she was. Thankfully, he was alone, not surrounded by the likes of James, Peter, or Sirius or Éponine was sure she would come under fire. However, Remus always appeared to be more of the reserved one out of the bunch of the boys, or at least, the most respectful.

Yet as she stood before him, Éponine could feel her hands trembling before she clasped them together to get herself to stop. He was waiting on her to say something to him, to announce the reason as to why she approached him in the first place, but the longer she remained silent, the more he was beginning to back away from her with a questioning glance. Perhaps he didn't know what her intentions were and he suddenly looked around nervously as if a group of Slytherins were going to jump out of nowhere and attack.

"Look," he began, " whatever you are up to-"

"I need your help."

When it came to holding a secret, Éponine knew that Remus Lupin carried one of the biggest secrets and perhaps, one of the darkest. His battle with lycanthropy was no fault of his own, it wasn't something he had asked for. Similar to how Gian didn't ask to be a Muggle-born sorted into Slytherin. Remus seemed confused by her sudden request and still seemed to view it as something with different intentions.

"I don't want any trouble-" he began only to be cut off by her once more.

"And I don't wish to cause any," she whispered, " I just need help. Please?"

The past between the two had practically been non-existent to a quite rocky path as Remus was well aware that two more people were aware of his monthly problem. Yet, while he had been incredibly fearful that either Regulus or Éponine would expose his secret to the castle, neither one of them appeared to have said anything as it wasn't a rumour that was going around the castle since that evening. And while he wasn't obliged to help her, he felt as if he didn't that she would hold his secret against him.

"What can I do?" Remus asked cautiously. "Why do you need my help?"

"It's just...I thought perhaps you would be able to give me some insight on how to handle a situation I've been faced with. Can we just see this as a prefect seeking the guidance of an older prefect and nothing more? I know you and your friends don't care for me and that's fine, but the help is not for me, but another student, an innocent one."

A moment of silence passed between them as she awaited his answer and finally, he gave a nod of his head.

"Go on."

Carefully, Éponine began explaining the situation that involved a first-year Slytherin, by the name of Gian, who apparently was a muggle-born that had been sorted into the house. It was quite unheard of to hear of such a situation and he could definitely see where the problem lied for the boy. However, it confused Remus as to why she felt like it was of her concern, especially since she came from the side of the prejudice. But when he learned that she was trying to help Gian come up with an identity of a half-blood to protect him, he found himself bewildered with what he was hearing.

Just what exactly was going on with this girl?

Yet, when Éponine brought up her confrontation with Lily, Remus could see where both sides were coming from. Of course, Lily took offence for the boy as she was a Muggle-born herself, but Éponine knew very well how some people in her house would react and that would only make things terrible for Gian. It was a very complicated situation and within seconds of her finishing, he could see the toll it had been taking on Éponine as she was already in tears.

"Help me," she begged him, " help me, please. What would you do? Lily kept telling me that honesty was the best thing I could do, but is it? Do you believe that?"

Now he understood why she had approached him above all people in the castle because she knew the secret he was carrying. Her question about honesty left him speechless for a few moments. Of course, his situation was quite different from that of Gian's as Muggle-borns were able to find more acceptance than a werewolf, but he at least understood where Éponine was coming from when it came to a secret protecting someone.

But he couldn't come up with a definite answer for her right on the spot, feeling conflicted himself. However, he thought he could say something that would perhaps put her mind at ease.

"I'll...I'll talk to Lily," he offered, "I'm on duty with her tonight, so I'll talk to her then. Alright?"

She looked disappointed that he didn't say anything more, but rather than saying anything, she simply gave a nod of her head. She did thank him for his time though, even if she wasn't given the answer she had been hoping for.

Returning to the Slytherin Common Room, Éponine was thinking about just confessing everything to Regulus in hopes of getting more insight. She didn't know what his reaction was going to be, but she felt as though the majority of her stress was also coming from not being completely honest with him. She had been honest with him about practically everything, even when she confessed that she had pictured him when it came to sharing her first kiss with Emmarentia. Of course, looking back, it was incredibly embarrassing but at least she had felt better afterwards.

But things hardly ever went according to plan, especially when it involved Regulus and Éponine because as she walked into the Common Room, she spotted Regulus, who was already making his way towards her. There were several students in the common area, leaving her to open her mouth to request speaking with him in private, but before she could get a single sound out, she found herself brought into a sudden kiss.

Not that she was complaining but it had been completely unexpected as it seemed he was going to the spontaneous factor again. And yet, as his soft lips were softly locked with hers and his hands held the sides of her face in a gentle manner, Éponine couldn't fully enjoy the moment, knowing that there were other people in the room, currently watching them. She pulled away after a few seconds, confused by his sudden and bold move.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

It was not exactly the question that Regulus was expecting to follow a kiss that he had put all his effort into not to come across as nervous. Yet things were definitely feeling awkward after that.

"Uh, well," he said rubbing the back of his neck, " I was just...I was just um, showing people that you're mine."

He had worded it wrong under nerves because he instantly saw her eyes narrow as soon as he said "mine."

"Yours?" she said raising a brow. "Well, I suppose I should be thankful that you didn't take to pissing over my leg to mark me as yours as well. I'm not yours, I belong to me. Next time you wish to kiss me do it for the sake of actually kissing me and not to show off to others. I'm a person, not property."

With an annoyed look, she left in the direction of the girl's dorm, leaving Regulus to stand alone and rejected, feeling extremely embarrassed, not to mention that Emmarentia had set him up for failure...again.