[Chapter Fifty-Three]

Emmarentia was not back in Éponine's good graces, but Éponine needed someone to vent to without it getting back to Bellatrix. She feared that if she opened up to Regulus, he would go to his parents and if she went to Avery and Mulciber, they would go to Regulus, and so on and so forth. While Emmarentia's previous behaviours had been foul, she had her own reasons not to go against Éponine, whether it was due to unrequited love or the fact that she hated what the Sacred Twenty-Eight stood for as well.

"I just don't understand how I could have been so blind to everything," she said eventually after a long bout of silence. "Ever since I was little, I've been part of the problem, and I'm only seeing it now. I'm just as bad as Bellatrix."

Sitting on her bed, Emmarentia scrunched her face up in confusion. She had never directly met Bellatrix, but through stories she had heard, it was safe to say that she and Éponine were nothing alike.

"Éponine, I'm not exactly following your train of thought there. Bellatrix would never help a muggle-born, especially if they were in Slytherin, so how are you just as bad as them? You said it yourself before, you didn't believe in violence, just segregation."

"But that's just as bad!" Éponine rounded on her. "Don't you get it, Emma? I believed in segregation because I was too much of a coward. I don't believe in violence, but I forced myself to believe in segregation rather than believing that any sort of discrimination is just plain wrong. Just because I wasn't willing to hurt someone physically, doesn't mean I haven't been part of the problem all along. First, it's segregation and then what? What happens when segregation doesn't work? Violence."

"So, you really believe that muggle-borns have a place in this school?" Emmarentia asked. "Even in Slytherin?"

Éponine let out a heavy sigh. "Yes, I do. They have every right to be here, just as we do. No, more right than I have being here. Look at the muggle-borns here, ones like Lily Evans? She just wants to help people, which makes for a better future as a whole. The muggle-born in Slytherin wants nothing more than to make friends. What do we bring to the table? Once we leave here, we basically get married, have children, and teach the same thing. There's no progress, no future in it."

"It sounds like you've been thinking about all of this for a long time, Éponine."

"I trusted my parents from the very beginning. Everything they told me to do, I did without question, "Éponine replied softly, "but now, I can see they did nothing but hold me back. They covered my eyes until I was able to cover my own eyes from the truth. I get it now. I get it."

"Get what?"

"Why Sirius ran away. Why Andromeda ran away before him, and those that did before them. They opened their eyes on their own."

Emmarentia shook her head. "I don't think that's true. They had support, remember? Sirius used to believe in the same things as us, he had no reason to not believe what his parents told him and Regulus until he started school. At one point, he trusted Walburga and Orion just as much as you trusted your parents. I think the same could be said for Andromeda as well. But they found people to help them open their eyes, whether it be James Potter or Ted Tonks, they found people. You, on the other hand, you've been figuring this out all on your own. Who has been your outside support? Who's willing to put you up in their home if you decide to run away?"

"You make me sound so much better than I am. But look at me, Emma. I know this is all wrong now, but what am I going to do? You all think I've become this strong person, but as soon as Bellatrix threatened me, my spine fell to the ground. I'm a coward. That's why, instead of defending the little muggle-born, I made him cry instead. I called him a mudblood, instead of telling Severus to go to hell and report that back to his superior."

"You keep calling yourself a coward, but look at what you're doing now. You're telling me what you really believe in. You took a complete risk telling me. For all you know, I could report it back to Bellatrix-"

She immediately stopped talking as Éponine's eyes darted up and met hers, filled with panic and worry.

"You're not going to say anything, are you? You can't! Please, she'll....she said she was going to get Ernest Nott-"

"Éponine, I know I've been a shit friend, but I would never do that. What Bellatrix is threatening you with is disgusting! She's a monster, I think it's safe to say. Regulus should know about what she said-"

Éponine shook her head. "It'll just unfold into something else. I don't think I can tell Regulus anything-"

"Then how the hell are you supposed to marry him? You're going to spend your entire life, going along with all of them, even though you believe otherwise?"

"Were you planning on putting up a fight when they married you off to a man when you're clearly attracted to women?"

An awkward silence returned as the two looked away from each other, the overwhelming feeling of being trapped looming over them.

"Alright," Emmarentia said, once she thought things over, "let's just think for a moment. If Regulus doesn't support you and your beliefs, then do you really want to get married to him? Do you want to have children that will grow up believing what you don't? No, and I sure as hell don't want to marry someone I don't love. So, correct me if I'm overstepping, but we have each other, Éponine-"

"Emma, I already told you, I'm not-"

"I don't mean romantically. I get it, okay? You're not attracted to me so that's off the table, but we can still be there for each other. If...if we decide to run away from it all, we'll still have someone to turn to."

"We'll have each other and then what?"Éponine asked. She sounded absolutely exhausted. "We can't stay at Hogwarts forever and we have nothing to our names outside of our families. Once we leave Hogwarts, we won't have any place to go, no place to stay even if we look for work. And you don't think we won't be met with any retaliation if we're just alone. Sirius had the Potters, Andromeda had the Tonks, we'll just be open targets."

When Emmarentia couldn't come up with an argument, Éponine took it as the discussion being over. She was already suffering from a headache and just wanted to go to bed. Changing into her pyjamas, she said nothing else before crawling into her bed and closing her eyes. However, while she pretended to be asleep, her mind was far from a sleepy state. It was buzzing like a swarm of angry bees, racing with all sorts of ideas and thoughts of how she was supposed to proceed with her life.

She could run away but she had laid out the cons and spooked herself. But she travelled back to what she told Emmarentia about working from the inside and burning down everything that the Sacred Twenty-Eight stood for. But in order to start burning everything down, she needed to start the fire. Meaning, she needed to get closer to those in charge, earn their trust, and then destroy them.

Of course, the Dark Lord was at the top and there was only a handful, that were considered trustworthy. She knew Bellatrix was among them, no fault in her loyalty as she made it very clear that she was willing to do anything for him.

So, she had to get closer to Bellatrix and then perhaps she would be noticed by the Dark Lord. If she was put into a position of power, long enough to get close to him with his guard down, maybe, there was a chance of success. It wouldn't be easy though, Bellatrix already had her doubts about Éponine's loyalty and she was sure that Severus was keeping a watchful eye on everything that she was doing.

It seemed like it was a long climb to the top and the longer the climb, the more chance she stood of falling.

Part of her thought about reaching out to Sirius, but she knew, above all people, he hated her with a passion. He believed that she was part of what kept Regulus from making the right choice, and he had been correct, rightfully so. But if she approached him, would he believe that she had a change of heart or would he question her motives? Would he even want to help her or think it was all some big scheme of the Black family to get him?

In all honesty, she simply felt stuck with no one she could truly reach out to for support.

Her parents were useless, she wasn't sure how Regulus would take to anything, she didn't fully trust Emmarentia, and everyone else had already pigeonholed her as a prejudice git due to her own actions.

Why was doing the right thing presenting itself to be so difficult?

Eventually, exhaustion decided to override her thought process and Éponine passed out as it neared midnight. However, she would have prayed for a dreamless night of sleep over a night full of nightmares. Every plan she had thought over backfired in each nightmare, but the last one, nearly made her heart stop in her sleep.

Bellatrix had figured out her plan and rather than killing her on the spot, she kept her promise about delivering Éponine to Ernest Nott. Locked away in a room with him, Éponine begged for him to leave her alone, she even wished for death, but it wasn't granted.

Her loud screams left her nightmare state and became a reality as everyone in her dorm room was woken up as the shrill screams pierced the night air.

Emmarentia jumped up from her bed and hurried over to Éponine's bedside, attempting to shake her awake. But at the touch of Emmarentia's hand, Éponine fought harder, as if she were trying to get away from whatever haunted her in her sleep. The rest of the girls looked on, absolutely terrified and confused.

"Why won't she wake up?!"

Unsure of how to answer, Emmarentia decided to ignore the question completely. She could feel how hot Éponine's skin was, seemed like she had a burning fever on top of her nightmare. Looking over her shoulder, Emmarentia told her dormmates to get one of the older prefects as fast as possible.

"Go!"

The next morning, Regulus felt like he had barely gotten any sleep, finding himself tossing and turning throughout the night. He wasn't sure what was bothering him so much, but he felt like it had to do with Éponine. She seemed off the day before and his confrontation with Gian only confirmed that something had to have happened. Getting up from bed and getting ready, he decided he would head to breakfast and hope that she would show up.

But as he was dressed and entered the Slytherin dorm, he saw Emmarentia talking to Avery and Mulciber, all three wearing solemn expressions.

"What's going on?" he asked, eyeing Emmarentia suspiciously. "What's wrong?"

Emmarentia only nodded her head in the direction of Avery, a signal for him to tell Regulus what had happened before she walked out of the Common Room.

"Uh, Regulus, last night something happened, " Avery began, not making eye contact with him, " I don't know all the details but Éponine's in the Hospital Wing right now."

"Wh-what?!"

"Last night, she went to sleep and then Emmarentia said she started screaming like she was in pain. They think she was running some sort of fever too. They brought her to the Hospital Wing and she hasn't woken up yet."