[Chapter Fifty-Seven]

When Éponine asked him to sit down, Regulus could feel the sudden onset of nerves. Despite being on Death's doorstep the night before, she appeared to be in good health, and even more so, a good mood. However, he couldn't help but feel the stiffness of his body as he took the empty spot beside her. She wore a smile, but there was a certain jitteriness to her movements that he had yet to see from Éponine. And Regulus knew that Éponine could put on a brave face if necessary, so the question remained, was she really happy or was all hell about to break loose?

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" Regulus asked her in a quiet voice. "If not-"

"Regulus, trust me, I'm fine," she said, "in fact, I've never felt better. Really. I wasn't feeling well last night, but I'm happy right now."

Regulus didn't want to question her happiness, but he couldn't help but wonder if there was something else that needed to be addressed. But before he could ask, Éponine turned to face him on the bed and grabbed both of his hands gently. As per usual, her hands were cold unlike the rest of her body, so naturally, Regulus held onto hers to warm them up.

"I swear your hands are always cold," he muttered, " it's a good thing you have me around."

When he looked up, Regulus expected Éponine to either blush and look away, or something to show signs of embarrassment. However, she only looked at him wearing a soft smile. Clearly, there was something she had to say to him.

"You know, Regulus, back when my parents first told me that I had to marry you, it really did feel like my life was over. Not to sound dramatic or anything, but I thought once I didn't have to marry your brother that I was going to be free to do the things I wanted to do. But then it was announced that we were arranged and well, we didn't get along very well before, did we?"

He didn't dare answer the question, unsure of where Éponine was going with the conversation and feeling even more nervous than before.

"But over the summer and over the holidays, you proved to me that you weren't the person I thought you were. You weren't just doing things because your parents were telling you to do them. You became so supportive of me and everything I wanted to do. I've got to experience so many things and actually make my own decisions, because of you. I wanted to take a moment and thank you for everything that you've done. You made me realise that my parents don't need to determine everything in my life. But I want to take it one step further...hopefully, with you."

No matter how many times Éponine had rehearsed what she wanted to say in her head, she felt like she wasn't getting her message across to Regulus very well. It didn't help that he looked absolutely petrified at the moment.

"Regulus, you don't even know what I'm about to say, and already you look like I'm hovering over you with a knife!" she laughed.

"Well, can you blame me? First, you were sick enough to be brought to the Hospital Wing last night, then you come up to me saying we need to talk and you're talking about how you didn't want to marry me before! What am I supposed to think, Épi? What am-"

Suddenly, it was like Éponine could hear all the times where she had started rambling off when she was nervous. It was so odd to experience the role revearsal where she was clearly the confident one and Regulus had become the timid. She quickly squeezed one of his hands in hers.

"Regulus, what I'm trying to tell you is, I don't want my parents or even your parents to determine our entire lives together. I don't want to live up to their expectations. I want us to have our own goals and our own expectations. I don't want to marry you because I have to, I want to marry you because I love you. Do you get what I'm saying?"

Wrapped up in all sorts of confusion and worry, Regulus slowly shook his head. "Are you trying to say that you love me right now?"

Well, no, that was not the point she was trying to get across at the time, but she remembered how during previous confessions that Regulus had a tendency to pick up on only pieces of what she was saying. But it brought about the question front and centre, forcing her to actually think about it.

Did she love Regulus Black?

Remembering back to the summer before she was forced to stay at the Grimmauld Place, Éponine thought about how much she hated Regulus. How she never wanted to be in the same room with him, and how everything he said always made her want to roll her eyes. But it wasn't like that between them anymore. Instead of calling her stupid when she didn't understand something, he was willing to teach her. Rather than letting his friends bully or insult her, Regulus was more than willing to protect her from everyone and everything if he could help it.

And in return, Éponine was willing to do the same. She thought of when they faced the werewolf and how she had not only wanted to protect herself but Regulus as well. How she wanted to be the one to comfort him when he was upset over Sirius and how she wanted nothing more than to save him from the likes of Severus and the plans of joining the Dark Lord. So was it love?

"I don't know," she answered finally, " I think I do. But I've never been in love, so I wouldn't know."

That was a good enough answer for Regulus as his nerves dissipated almost instantly. A smile returned to his lips and within seconds, he was leaning in to kiss her.

There had always been such a softness to Éponine's lips from the first time he kissed her, and while he had never admitted it to her, it was something that drove him damn near mad. Or maybe it was really that lower pouty lip that kept him coming back for more. Either way, he couldn't help but kiss her and then kiss her again.

Éponine put up no protest as she kissed him back, her hands leaving his and reaching to grab the front of his shirt. All the new found confidence led her to pull him closer, but Regulus decided to take it one step further. He took her gesture to get closer, but more along the lines of gently pushing her back onto his bed. They didn't break the kiss either as Éponine found herself on her back with Regulus' body partially on top of her.

It was the most that either had done with anyone, but in that moment, while it felt new, it didn't feel uncomfortable.

Whenever Éponine reached up her hand to touch the side of his face gently, Regulus would only deepen the kiss. And at one point, when his tongue grazed the top of her lower lip, she pulled away. Almost instantly, Regulus appeared apologetic and started to say he was sorry for getting carried away. But before he could say anything, Éponine reassured him with a smile before pushing herself up to drag him back down again.

As for Regulus, he hadn't anticipated a full snogging session in the dorm, but he wasn't complaining either.

Feeling slightly adventurous, his hand travelled up her shirt slightly, touching her waist. Her skin was smooth and warm, but at the touch of his hand, Éponine sat up abruptly.

"I'm sorry!" he blurted out as Éponine adjusted her clothing, pulling her shirt back down, and straightening her hair afterwards. "I didn't mean-"

"No, don't be sorry," she told him, " really, it wasn't you, it was me. I just...I'm not ready for that, Regulus, I'm sorry. And initially, I came here to talk to you about something. I guess I should have gotten to the point, but..."

She scratched the back of her head, feeling her confidence dwindling the longer she stood there as Regulus watched her.

"Regulus, since the start of the term, I've been doing a lot of thinking. When I was talking about not following everything my parents have told me, I wasn't just talking about our marriage. But rather, everything they've taught us to believe. Mainly, blood purity."

"Blood purity, Éponine, what are you-"

"Ever since we were little, everyone around us has told us that purebloods are superior and that everyone else was below us. And then, we go out into the world on our own, and we meet people who don't share those beliefs. They say we're wrong, but our parents just tell us that those people are wrong. So, who do we believe? We trusted our parents, of course. They've never given us reason not to, right? But Regulus, what if they were wrong? No, not if....they are wrong."

"I don't understand-"

"You have been trying to figure out a way to get Sirius back. Your family has been trying to convince him that he's been going down the right path. But what if he's on the right path, Regulus? Maybe he didn't go about it the right way all the time, but he was right. Everyone that has ever broken away from Toujours Pur is right. Do you understand?"

Regulus took a step back from Éponine, his heart racing so loudly in his chest that he could barely hear his own thoughts. Part of him had to assume that Éponine was pranking him in some sort of way. She hated Sirius or at least, claimed to hate the things he did, so why did she all of a sudden think he was right? But then his thoughts travelled back to the night before where Regulus made his way to the Hospital Wing and found Éponine collapsed in Sirius' arms. Had he done something to her?

"Éponine, I think something happened to you last night at the Hospital Wing. The things you're saying don't make any sense. Sirius must've done something-"

"Sirius did nothing," she said," except the right thing. He left all that nonsense behind. It wasn't easy for him to do so, but he did it. Maybe we don't see eye to eye on everything and we may not like each other, but I know he was right. Regulus, I know this all confusing-"

"Of course it is! You're not acting right! This isn't you! This isn't what you believe in! I know what you believe in, I've heard you say it hundreds of times-"

"You only heard me recite what everyone told me to say. Regulus, please, just give me a chance to explain. Sirius left you without much of an explanation, but let me tell you why he left and why I'm going to leave all that behind too."