Life's End~

A sharp gray that reveals a disconnect between life and the harsher reality of death. Surrounds individuals in mourning.

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"Wake up...time...how....window...crazy...Jungkook?"

A voice breaks my unconsciousness, urging me to awaken. Blearily, I sit up, rising from the dead slumber which has enveloped me for some time. I sniff tiredly while a hand rubs gentle, encouraging circles on my lower back. The air smells of Phoenix sunburn and Leo's cologne, mixed with tears and sheet softener. Sitting up, I groan at the chill in the air. Why is it so cold today? I thought Phoenix was supposed to be warm all the time.

"Come here." Leo wraps his arms around me, instantly warming me up. "You're cold."

I nod against his arms, blessing the heat that pours from his body. I chance a glance outside the window and discover everything is still coated in a layer of black. Leo must have woken me up before dawn so that I could make the window venture back to room 333 before Kan discovers my absence.

"Leo, what time is it? I have to be back by five, before my alarm clock goes off. If I'm not there to turn it off, rock music will blare for minutes on end. The whole floor will wake up, and Kan will know I'm not in the room, and he'll find us Leo, and I'll lose my spot on the Olympic team-"

"Shhh. You'll be fine. Stop worrying, Jungkook." Leo sets his chin on my shoulder. His strong arms warm me up, and after I'm fully awake, he runs his hands through my bed hair. "You're fine. I'm fine. We'll be fine."

"But what if my alarm-"

"It's four fifteen. You have plenty of time to wake up and get back." Leo's voice soothes me like no other, a calm melody of gentle care. Languidly, I entwine my legs with his warmer ones. "We only napped for a half hour."

"I love sleeping for only thirty minutes before training." I joke, pressing my face into his neck. He hums, lazily stroking my hair. Eventually, Leo coaxes me back onto the bed, allowing me to use his chest as a pillow. 

We lay like this for some time in silence, tiredly thinking about all the things we'll have to do in the coming days. Routine preparations, traveling to London, training sessions in the Olympic stadium, the Opening Ceremony, completing interviews, the list goes on. 

But in this tiny moment of quietness between us, that upcoming struggle doesn't seem so bad. It seems manageable, given everything we've already gone through. Threats, harsh training, accusations, hiding, abuse, loss. Even if we can't be openly together or love each other freely, me and Leo can handle anything. We are, after all, the two highest-ranking male gymnasts in the entire world. We'll manage, somehow.

"So..." Leo murmurs after a while, nudging my head. "What are you going to do after the Olympics are over?"

The question catches me off guard. I hadn't really thought that far. I mean, I have, but not in depth. Do I want to continue with gymnastics...or take a break? Do I want to retire and move onto something else?

"I don't know yet...I don't know." I answer honestly, tracing his muscled stomach with my fingertips. "What about you, Leo? What are you going to do after the Olympics?"

Leo licks his lips. "I don't know either. Is it bad that we don't know?"

"No. I don't think so." I lift my chin next to his, lining our lips up. "If you don't want to continue with gymnastics, I don't blame you. As long as you love what you do, you'll be okay. "

Leo blinks slowly, focusing on my lips. "As long as I love what I do?"

"Yes."

A smile grows on Leo's tired face. He throws an arm over my back, drawing me closer. "Well, you're included in what I love. So I guess you're in my future, Jungkook."

"You guess I'm in your future?" I ghost my lips over his, brushing against them feather light. "Or you know I'm in your future?"

As an answer, Leo presses his lips into mine hard. His lips are a warm, secure promise that he won't give me up. Even after the London Olympics, we'll be in touch. This kiss tells me Leo has hope that we'll be able to continue whatever this is, no matter if we live on opposite sides of the globe. Like our auric ties announce to me on the daily, we're meant to be, even if oceans separate us.

"Mmm..." 

Our lips tug against each other's lazily, sweetly, a slow lap of mouths together. Leo veers off course, moving his lips to kiss a trail down the skin of my throat, a favorite place of his. Within seconds, an affectionate heat spreads through my entire body, pulling a question right from the surface of my mind. It spills out of my mouth.

"So, Leo...who's going to win the gold?"

Leo stops kissing my neck.

He lifts his head, peering into my eyes with the most confused expression I have ever seen on him. The expression is a mix between perplexity, realization, and the utmost surprise. He looks like a child who got their nose play-stolen by a family member and is afraid they'll never get it back. 

Has he never thought about this before? How could he not have? Ever since we entered camp, the question of who will take home the gold has been central in every one of my thought processes.

Finally, Leo's chin shakes slightly from side to side. "I...don't know who will win. You? Me? Neither? We'll have to find out, right?"

In my heart, I already know Leo's going to win gold. I'm going to let him, to give him the medal and title he deserves. Leo rests his hands on my sides, tapping my ribs while he waits for an answer.

"Yeah, I guess we'll find out." I grin, but a look out the brightening window makes a nervous pit settle in my guts. "What time is it again? I should probably get going soon. It's getting light out."

"Oh. Right. I can't kiss you all day, even though I want to." Leo chuckles, rolling off to the side of me. "Even though I reaaallllyy want to."

"Yeah..." Please don't make this hard. "Yeah. Wait, but aren't you..."

Leo nods. "Yes, I'm leaving for Brazil today...I'll only be there for two days to attend the...funeral. I'll be back in Phoenix right before the team leaves for London." 

Leo stares at the wall, his aura darkening with the lingering bereavement surrounding him. I grab ahold of his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze.

"When you visit her, make sure to tell your mother that I'll look out for you, Leo. I'll stick by your side, be your guy. Okay? Tell her please."

Leo turns his head to face me, a sad smile on his face. With the graceful white light of dawn spilling onto his features, he almost looks like a young boy. A sad, lonesome young boy trying his hardest to hold back tears in order to stay hopeful in the moment. Leo looks more beautiful than I've ever seen him, even with grief twisting his face. Despite his sadness, I know he's strong. Leo's a fighter, and he can get through anything. 

As long as I'm by his side, he can get through anything.

"I will, Jungkook." Leo squeezes my hand tightly. "I'll tell her I love you to death."

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Jungkook exits the Road to London gym for the last time before the Olympics.

His neon blue Adidas shoes squeak lightly against the grand Phoenix Power Arena waxed hallway floors. Carefully, Jungkook moves about, all alone in the late hours of night. He's heading back from his extremely long, late night practice session one day before the group leaves for London.

Today in practice, him and Kan went through all of his routines while a band of old judges watched and gave him critiques. According to the added total scores of his final routines, Jeon Jungkook was the projected winner of the London Olympics. His raw scores were higher than Kohei's and Donnell's, not to mention Jungkook's execution scores were nearly perfect. 

Coach Kan was heavily pleased by this, but still weary. With Leonardo Costa gone to Brazil for his mother's funeral, there was no way to tell what Leo's projected scores were, or how they would compare to Jungkook's.

"I'll win." Jungkook had assured Coach Kan, lying openly and confidently. "I'll win the gold, Kan. You have nothing to worry about."

Pleased by his mentee's strong fighting spirit, Kan had made a surprise deal. "Here, take this, you can have it for tonight. Give it back to me tomorrow morning, when we're loading luggage in the airport van."

Jungkook was shocked by the object Kan held out. 

His iPod, perfectly intact, with 57% battery left...it was a miracle. With this, he could listen to so much music, search up so many articles about him and Leo in the Olympics, watch all of his filmed interviews...finally catch up to the real world!

Jungkook smiles as he reaches his hand in the pocket of his sweatpants, pulling his iPod out. Might as well listen to music on the way back to the dorm. 

Eagerly, Jungkook plugs in his spare pair of earbuds and presses the shuffle button on his pump-up playlist. The first song that pops up on his screen is one by Metallica called The Day That Never Comes.

The intro melody of the song is awfully somber, a good closing song for a farewell. When Jungkook exits the gymnasium which he has toiled in for the last six weeks, he feels both gratitude and melancholy in his bones. The various apparatuses seem to wave at him as he passes by, wishing him good luck in the Olympic Games.

Everything in here...from the vault to the floor...to the high bar and parallel bars...to the rings and pommel horse...are all reminders of Leonardo. They're reminders of his toil, his path to his dreams, to his journey of falling in love with another gymnast. As he walks by them, he can't deny the affection he feels for the sport of gymnastics, no matter how much unwarranted pain it has caused him.

Every setback, every fall, every bloody hand and strained muscle...they've all made him who he is today.

Jungkook sighs, smiling at the tall fans that whir on the ceiling. With a final glance, he turns away, heading to say goodbye to the rest of the building.

Soon, he passes by the locker rooms, the place of such scandalous events and odd happenings that Jungkook pauses by the doorway. Here, he found out about Leo's abuse, received help from McKayla, and found out he was attracted to the powerfully red aura of the Brazilian. In here, he took countless showers, rolled on tons of menthol for his sore muscles, and kissed Leo when no one else was looking.

Jungkook laughs aloud. In the empty hallways, his laughter carries and echoes, without any ears to fall upon. He moves along the training center, cherishing the memories of those locker rooms deep in his heart. Those are ones he won't forget.

As he rounds the corner, the refrain of the song plays through his earbuds. 

("Waiting for the one...the day that never comes...")

Jungkook peeks up the staircase leading to the atrium, where all of the banquets were held. Where the coordinator of the Phoenix Power Arena had once stood onstage and congratulated dozens of excited gymnasts, both male and female. 

Jungkook remembers how nervous he was when he first got here, when he saw the people he had to train with. He also remembers how dangerous Leonardo Costa once was to him...

"Hah, dangerous."

Jungkook moves down the hallway to the lobby and rec room. These rooms remind him of McKayla, hiding out, speaking with Leo about random things, and traveling to his dorms at odd hours of the day. The stupid baseball caps he used to wear...they make him smile at how serious he was about staying under the radar back then.

More of the lyrics pour into his ears. 

("When they stand up and feel the warmth...")

Jungkook heads out the door leading to the dorm pathway. He wants to enjoy being in Phoenix as much as possible and won't skip out on the heat by going through the tunnels just because air-conditioning is more comfortable.

("But the sunshine never comes, no...no, the sunshine never comes...")

Ironically, no sun is in the sky to warm his skin or light the path. Only the moon glows in the inky sky, offering him dim illuminance for which to see his way. He remembers walking this path tons of times with Coach Kan, sweating under the sun's sweltering rays. Nothing will make him forget the heat of Phoenix or how dry the entire camp experience was. 

Throughout his stay, it only rained on a few occasions. One memorable time was his shopping trip with McKayla.

Jungkook shakes his head at the memory. From a crush on McKayla to loving Leo...all within six weeks? The injection into the unfamiliar location and the energy pollution from other auras likely affected Jungkook in ways he never considered. 

Kissing a boy? If he told the Jungkook of the past that that he would fall in love with a boy during the Road to London camp...that past Jungkook would tell him he was off his goddamn rocker.

"I'm crazy." He says to the sky, blinking at the moon. A grin breaks out on his face.

Maybe he is crazy, but if crazy makes him feel alright inside, he doesn't think it matters. Like Trainer Snowden says, it is as it as. Some events happen that can't be controlled, like falling in love with his number one competitor.

When he gets inside the dorms, Jungkook quickly approaches the elevator. When he gets inside, he presses the number to floor three and settles against the handrail of the unit. 

So many memories in this elevator...

("Love is a four-letter word, and never spoken here...")

Jungkook nods to the song lyrics, remembering the jealousy that bloomed within in this elevator. Leonardo's possessive cloud was mad with envy when McKayla revealed her and Jungkook's relationship. A light heat rises to his cheeks when he remembers Leo randomly kissing him in this elevator, to prove his immaculate kissing ability. The grin grows wider on his lips.

As he exits the elevator and strides to room 333, he mouths the next lyrics.

("Love is a four-letter word, here in this prison...")

No better word would fit than 'prison' for room 333. The motion-sensor camera by the door proves that much. 

Although Jungkook enjoyed his time in 333 when Leo was inside, Jungkook's otherwise calm resting periods were filled with worry, pacing, hunger, or sickness. The bathroom makes him both joyous and disturbed...a place of love with Leo and a center of judgment for himself. His eating disorder intensified by the camp's pressure, Jungkook never felt great about his kitchen space either. Just looking at the fridge was a setback to his plans.

"Hmm..."

When the song ends, Jungkook pulls his earbuds out. He's greeted with deadly silence in room 333. Nothing stirs within or without; no building creak or hallway thump decides to surface. Not even the TV jitters its spot as it usually does when he passes.

Funny thing, too...he never once used the TV while he was staying here, unless it was to watch movies with Leo using the DVD feature. 

Stupidly, he realizes that if he wanted news of the outside world, he could have checked into cable news this whole time. Why hadn't he? Kan advised him not to watch it, but Kan can't monitor that kind of thing. Why not watch some TV?

Jungkook sets his iPod on the table, gripped by the odd sensation of a new page turning. He's done with camp, and will move onto the Olympics. Shouldn't that make him happy? He finds that it doesn't. Not as it should make him feel. 

Jungkook strolls over to the TV pushed against the far wall, frowning. Before long, he kneels by the box, messing with the buttons on the side of it.

"How does this thing work?" He flicks on this button and presses that. Nothing but static pours from the appliance. Maybe he needs the remote?

Jungkook sighs, standing up to search for the remote to get his TV working. Where would Leo have put the remote? Jungkook drops to all fours, expecting it to have fallen behind the bed after their last movie marathon. 

Luckily, the black plastic device is under the bed where he expected it to be, right next to the stack of English-learner books.

"I feel immense gratitude and honor that Jeon is a good teacher." Jungkook happily quotes the Leo of the past, reaching under the bed to grab the remote.

Through the English lessons and speaking in English on a regular basis, they've both improved a great deal on vocabulary and pronunciation of the language. Jungkook doesn't feel nervous for any English interviews he might have to do in London, mainly thanks to Leo.

"I feel immense gratitude and honor...that Leo loves me!" Jungkook smiles, turning around to aim the remote at the TV.

After a few fortunate guesses, he presses enough buttons to get to some news channel. The weather for Phoenix flashes across the screen in bright, sunny decals and extremely high numbers. Jungkook looks on for a while boredly, before deciding he wants to change the channel to something more entertaining. 

Maybe a movie...like the kind Leo loves watching.

But before he can change the channel, a deep nausea suddenly intrudes in his gut. He covers his mouth as a reflex, but he hasn't had anything to eat in hours. Why would he feel ill all of a sudden? 

Jungkook sits there holding his mouth, but can't place the gnawing feeling in his lower stomach. Did his appendix burst? He frowns as he considers the option. That would be horrible timing right before the Olympics.

Cutting through his disturbing thoughts, a TV announcer's alarmed voice intrudes in the dorm room.

"Excuse the interruption, viewers, we're coming in with some breaking news."

Jungkook's head snaps up. He studies the images shown on the screen. Repeatedly, they move, flash, and shift, changing scenes quickly. Jungkook's eyes rake over them with growing unease. A low, persistent buzzing enters his head as the news anchor speaks up.

"About twenty minutes ago, an airline flight returning back to the United States from Brazil malfunctioned midflight. The plane crashed into the Caribbean Sea-"

"No...no..." Jungkook recoils from the screen. Fragments of ashy plane wings floating in the water meet his wide eyes. "No..."

"-sources report the crash was the result of a faulty engine that combusted mid-air, four hours after takeoff. Eyewitnesses say the front end of the plane burst into flames while in the air...and soon exploded. We have high quality footage of the event coming in now-"

"No...no...that's not, no..." Jungkook's hands are icy as they cover his mouth, preventing anything from coming up. He sits staring at the screen, shaking his head in denial.

Jungkook's stomach drops as the footage is shown. In the video, an airborne, distant plane combusts suddenly into bright, violent flames mid-air. Jungkook cries out as the entire craft suddenly explodes into fragments, each piece careening towards the water within seconds. He shakes his head at the screen violently as the news anchors reappear, their faces twisted with sorrow.

"Reports say that 173 airline passengers were killed upon explosion, including the three pilots..."

"No...h-he's not...no, that's not-"

"The airline company has released the passenger list, including those who have lost their lives." 

The anchor pauses, her lips set in a grim line. Jungkook aggravatedly shivers.

"Among the list of those killed...was Olympic hopeful Leonardo Costa-"

"NO! LIAR!"

Jungkook throws the remote at the screen, shattering the glass instantly. He keeps shaking his head, sucking air in large gulps as the footage of the plane exploding keeps replaying over and over.

"YOU'RE LYING! He didn't...he didn't...no, Leo, you weren't...NO!"

Jungkook's anguished screams heighten as a smiling picture of Leo pops up on the newscast as a grayed-out casualty, warped by the TV's shattered glass screen. 

"LEO!"

Jungkook screams hysterically as the announcers say his name along with the words dead and tragedy and gone, his shaky hands gripping the picture of Leo on the screen while shards of glass slice into his palms.

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