No Man's Land~

Black eats away at the soul.

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Screaming fans within the Olympic Arena are loud enough to drown out any man's thoughts.

Their raised voices reach decibels unheard of,  matching the insanity of a rock concert crowd when the lead singer stage dives. All of them tote excited, emotional faces, and some hold flags representing their home countries.

So many nationalities are present within the stadium, an inclusive rainbow of the Earth's citizens. Various makes and models of human beings smile and chant along to the energetic music spilling over the apparatuses below.

The days have come for the gymnasts to show off their perfected routines, mixing grace, stamina, and strength...

And those days have passed, gone by in a flash. Every athlete did his best, and now the award ceremony will be held to honor the best.

The crowds here are ready to crown the winners, the champions of the last few days of intense competition. Hundreds of flags shake and jitter with various countries, including South Korea. 

The section cheering for Jeon Jungkook is loud in the arena, but nothing compares to the volume of the section cheering for Leonardo Costa. The green and yellow colors of Brazilian flags are widespread and vibrant, encompassing all sections of seats. Almost every single round of competition has started with a moment of silence for the Brazilian gymnast, meant to honor his role in men's gymnastics over the last few years. 

Every time Leonardo's name and smiling image was shown in remembrance on the large screen, Jungkook had to look down. He couldn't bear to stare at the truth in the eyes, right before he had to perform. Not only was it painful, but it was agonizing to think about never seeing Leonardo Costa ever again. It was so heart-wrenching that he vowed not to dwell on it until after the London Games. 

Grief is an impossible thing to avoid, but for Jungkook it proved to work in his favor. Torn by the lack of Leo on the sidelines, he was hardly anxious. How could he feel anxious or worried when the person he loved had died?

Leo's death was immensely difficult, immensely painful to accept, and between every event, Jungkook found himself confused again. Was he dreaming that he saw the newscast about the plane wreck, and was Leo somewhere close by? Where was that sweet, maroon aura of strength Jungkook loved so much? Were they going to kiss after the award ceremony, after Leo won the gold?

Then the image of Leo would pop up on the large announcement screen. The words 'forever in our memories,' reminded Jungkook of the truth. Leonardo was dead. Not just away on a trip somewhere or absent from competition, but dead. Never to return to gymnastics nor walk the Earth again.

Numbed by these sick reminders, Jungkook went through the London Olympics in a blur. His routines ran on straight muscle memory while his mind was mourning. Not once did he smile, even when his routines were utterly perfect. Not once did he respond to the encouraging screams of the crowd, nor the cameras that continued to poke around in his face. Not once did he speak a word to Kan other than when he needed to.

After all was said and done, Jeon Jungkook easily had the highest men's All-Around score than was ever seen before, setting world records for marvelous execution and massive difficulty. News spread that Jeon Jungkook was a South Korean gymnastics champion, and Coach Kan was soon flooded by prospective interviewers and company reps.

But Jungkook felt little triumph. He saw the scoreboard and knew what it meant, but without Leonardo's name up there, the title felt fake, demeaning.  Jungkook won gold without his close competitor battling against him on the events. He won by default. 

Jungkook felt like a cheater.

Even standing here now, with thousands of people cheering, crying, yelling...flaunting their vibrant, colorful auras...it means nothing to Jungkook. Without that one, overpowering red aura tied to him, all of their auras look gray. Without Leo's aura here to reach to him, to call out to him, to enliven and encourage him...he feels dead inside. 

The rainbow has been robbed of its colors without the Brazilian. He finds it increasingly hard to read anyone's aura past his own.

Jungkook's aura is black, depressed to the bone and exhausted with denial. 

Every time he glances at the big screen that the entire world is tuned into, he sees a stranger. His body's proportions are perfect: legs toned, but not too thick...arms strong but not bulky...abdomen sheered to a clean slate of abs with hardly a fiber of fat clinging to them. According to almost anyone, his physique would be considered outstanding, a form of great physical prowess.

But he's hungry. Desperately.

Still hungry, but he has no appetite at all. He lost that a long time ago, ever since that lurking nausea set up shop in his guts. Right before he found out about Leo's death.

"Welcome to the 2012 London Olympics awards ceremony! We are glad to have you all here!" A bright voice with a British accent soars from the large speakers in the corners of the room. "Our three medalists for the Men's All Around competition are as follows..."

Jungkook's eyes wander to the stands nearby. From the South Korea section, he tries to spot his parents, but can't see them. He briefly got a chance to speak to them before the competition, but he never revealed any of his sorrow from Leo's death when talking to them. 

For all they know, Jungkook's been hard at work during the Road to London camp, focusing only on his routines and not on loving another man.

"In third place, receiving the bronze medal...from the United States of America...Donnell Whiffrey!"

Jungkook's hands move on their own, clapping lightly for the teammate that used to be in his training group back in camp. Donnell smiles at Jungkook while he steps onto the podium, beaming at the excited whoops and hollers of the crowd. A woman in a stately black uniform approaches Donnell, place a bronze medal around his head. The crowd cheers.

"In second place, receiving the silver medal...from Japan...Kohei Fujimoto!"

Jungkook claps a little harder at his friend's efforts. Clearly, his work has paid off, and the Japanese man is cheesing largely as he takes to the podium, gracefully bending his head to receive the silver medal. The crowd roars louder.

"And finally, the first place men's All-Around champion, receiving the gold medal...from the Republic of Korea...Jeon Jungkook!"

Time seems to lag in place as Jungkook stands there, expecting them to say a different name. The gold medal should have gone to Leonardo Costa...should have been placed around Leo's neck. Not his.

"Jeon Jungkook?" The woman asks from in front of the podium, holding out the gold medal with an encouraging expression on her face. "You're the gold medalist-"

"Wait." Jungkook looks around him desperately. "Wait a second."

Cameras pan and zoom on the Korean as he briefly jogs away from the podium, and a confused jabber arises in the stadium. Jungkook rushes to the sidelines where Coach Kan stands baffled, pointing behind him with a forced grin on his lips.

"What are you doing, Jeon? You won, get back to-"

"This!" Jungkook points to a woman standing in the front row of the stands. "Can I have your flag?"

The Brazilian woman blinks at him, confused, but relents and gives him the flag. As it falls into Jungkook's hands, Coach Kan says nothing. Every pair of eyes follow Jungkook's body in the arena, wondering what on Earth the Olympic gold medalist is doing standing on the sidelines and not on the podium. Already, journalists and bystanders are preparing to spread the news of this fiasco, forming headlines in their minds.

But Jungkook doesn't care. Nothing matters now, except giving Leo the honor he deserves. The gold medal.

"Thank you!" He yells to the woman, jogging back over to the podium. 

Hurriedly, he leaps onto the highest position possible on the three-tiered platform, bending his head low so that the woman can place the medal around his head. Once he raises his head again, the weight of the medal feels cold and misplaced on his chest. It feels like he shouldn't have won it, and yet here he is, the best in the world with a matching gold medal to show for it.

"Congratulations, gymnasts!"

The loudspeaker rings in his ears, jolting him back to reality. He should be pushing his lips into a smile, showing the whole world that he's ecstatic from winning, over the moon with immense joy. But every time he tries to smile, his lips tremble. 

The bright, stage spotlight focusing on the podium nearly blinds him as applause drowns out every other thought in his mind. 

Except for one thought, and it's the memory of Leonardo Costa laying next to him, alive and in the flesh only weeks earlier.

"You know, Jungkook. So much."

Then-

"I love you too, Leo."

The London Olympics camera pans to the gold medalist of the London Olympics. Jungkook shows up on the big screen, his face contorting in pain as the applause for him skyrockets.

With everybody watching, Jeon Jungkook holds up the Brazilian flag high above his head and begins to cry.

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fin.