Weddings. I had no feelings attached to it since I was a kid, to me It was just two people professing their undying love to each other in front of dozen of people but of course. life has yet proven me wrong again and again as bumps sprang up on my arms as I stood outside the cathedral with a grimace slapped on my face among the family of the bride and groom that were all adorned with jewels and spoke of love.

My eyes blinked heavily as my heart plunged altogether. People faded in and out of focus as I swayed on my feet as I crossed the street, my legs feel rubbery, a heaviness spread through me.

Regret and jealously had become a coat I couldn't remove for the past six years of my life.

I wish I had taken a couple of painkillers before getting dressed and decided to walk down at my sister's wedding or maybe I should have drunk a bottle of tequila or absinthe the night before, It would have given me a kick-ass excuse to not attend.

My heart thumped as the humid air spread across my face, I needed to hold something...anything.

I rolled my gaze over my shoulder, checking the wave of people gushing over the beautiful bouquets adorned throughout the cathedral that I arranged, I spotted one of my cousins jumping up and down with joy with the other bridesmaid, my eyes flickered at the scene.

I hastily grabbed a box of cigarettes in my purse and lit up a Marlboro and took a long puff, a sigh of relief escaped my lips, away from the hubbub of gushing relatives.

I have no idea why Amy thought October was the best year to get married, the weather was always unpredictable but at the very least today was a good day for a wedding.

The sun appeared from behind the low white clouds, contrary to what the middle-aged weathercaster said the night before.

I held up my left hand at my face to shield my eyes as I gazed up at the sky like I was expecting some divine guidance.

I don't know why I'm here anyway, this was definitely not for my sister. I had six fucking years to confess, I chuckled to myself.

I took another puff between my fingertips, trying to release all the tension from my body.

"I didn't know you smoke"

I turned my head over my shoulder, my light auburn curls swayed against my face, I could already feel his gaze digging the back of my skull, the familiar condescending tone washing over me.

"When did you ever ask anything about me" I replied, throwing the Marlboro between my lips to the ground and stepping the half-lit cigarette while turning a full 180 degree turn with an aloof smile on my face, our identical dark eyes finally met.

Dad stood in front of me, obviously wearing a seamless Issey Miyake tuxedo, his slick hair pushed back with a few grey hairs spotted due to old age nonetheless, he never cared much of it yet it made him more intimidating than it should be and it worked.

"Are you drunk?" He asked, sounding peeved but as soon as the words had left his lips, he shook his head in disappointment, already forming the worst of me before I could answer his question like he always does.

But I was far from drunk and I wish I was.

"Oh come on Dad, stop acting like you've been sober for a damn minute of your life" I smiled even more with a hint of sarcasm in my voice, and finally, I saw his cheeks redden by the second, definitely from my ill humor response.

"Annalise" He warned, taking a full step forward and grabbing my right wrist towards his chest, out of view from the overjoyed crowd behind us.

His words were cold, hard, and was always final. That was the fatherly love I grew up in, my childhood was definitely a trip to Disneyland.

"What" I sneered back at him, it was not so uncharacteristic of my father to speak this way anyways.

"Anna can you stop making this all about yourself for one damn day, It's your sister's wedding for God's sake" His words sounded more adamant than I could ever remember for the past twenty-five years of my life.

Obviously, he was hoping today would be a perfect memory for his beloved daughter.

"I'm not the one causing a scene here, Dad" I replied and paused when I pointed my head towards the mass of people gathered outside the Cathedral, waiting for the adoring bride to roll in with her fancy limousine that he brought just for this long-awaited day.

I have no idea why he had to come over here and start patronizing me over and over, hoping I would've stayed quiet.

"Enough with the snarky comments and just go help your Aunts"

I gritted my teeth before I snatched my arm away from him, I had nothing more to say. I was glad I moved out of the house when I was eighteen. I only had to tolerate his existence for two or four days a year, If I was lucky.

I stepped past him and walked back towards the crowd gathering near the steps of the Cathedral as I unconsciously rub my right wrist, leaving a sting over it and completely ignoring his hard gaze at the back of my head.

Part of me wanted to turn around, go home and crawl back in bed, but aside from the nagging sermons that I would receive the day after the wedding and the blanket of fatigue covering me since I woke up, It was best to go through with it for the day.

For the sake of my satiny and everyone.

"Anna, my beautiful cousin!"

Jesse's voice chimes in my ears. I already guessed who it was from the lack of tack or embarrassment, running across the street with absolute determination. Her dark luscious hair bounced up and down on top of her shoulders. Wearing a Galia Lahav cocktail, with midnight silk draped over her milky skin.

She was never not glamorous for any event or occasion. Through Christmas, Thanksgiving, or even at family get-togethers. She was always the star of the show.

Jesse casually wrapped her slender arms around my neck and covered me with kisses and hugs before pointing her lips towards my Dad "I see you had a heart to heart talk again"

I rolled my eyes and linked our arms together while walking, my lips tipped up in an amused grin "You love it when me and Dad bicker"

"It's amusing" She replied in response "So, how you doin'?"

"I feel like shit" I said and crinkled my brows together, I feel like I had the worst case of flu after that conversation.

"Obviously" Jesse gave me a sideways glance, she elbowed me hard in the ribs "I thought you were over him, Anna"

I groaned in pain and glanced around the throng of people passing in all directions, praying to myself nobody heard what she just said, fortunately, I could only feel the swirls of love and anticipation trailing after them like their own personal clouds, oblivious of anything but the event.

"Great, what if someone heard you" I said, forcing myself to keep looking straight ahead "I don't want Amy to hear anything about it"

"Come on, I kept your dirty little secret for six years, my lips are sealed" Jesse smiled, held up her fingertips, and proceeds to do the zipper motion to her mouth.

"You're lucky you are my favorite cousin" I said and perched my lips lightly.

"Everyone loves me " she nodded, confident with her reply this time.

"Not as much as they love Amy" I answered, more bluntly than I meant. Being coy was obviously not in my repertoire.

"Ah yes, the Princess of the Sandoval family" She gushed and fanned her hand to her face, completely mocking the title they gave her when we were little.

"When will you ever let that go?" I giggled and leaned my head towards her direction as I looked over at the wall of people preening and smiling near the west door of the Cathedral, I also noticed the wedding photographer I recommended for Amy was also there but the bride is still nowhere to be found.

The driver probably got lost on his way, I should check up on them. I immediately thought.

Jesse tickled my nose with the tip of the fern to catch my attention "I will stop when the day they stop treating her like she is"

I swatted the plant away from me, she obviously grabbed it from one of the centerpieces. "Well that's never gonna happen"

Jesse and I were always tight when we were kids, both each other's soul mates since I could remember. Amy was also there but that was Amy, she was just invited for the sake of it.

It sounded cruel but we never resented her, she was just too different from us.

"Speaking of Amy, she should be here by now" She noticed and narrowed her eyes at the mob of relatives, looking for a distinguished platinum blonde hair.

A sudden warmth touched my skin, lightly burning - the bright sun completely uncovered the skies, and the sounds of birds suddenly trying to out tune each other rang through my ears.

I glanced at Jesse and noticed we were both sun-drenched and it illuminated the flecks of honey in Jesse's eyes, that was one of the features I loved about Jesse, I hated my dark brown eyes, it was almost indistinguishable from my pupil but mostly because it reminded me of my Dad.

"She's probably -"

Before I could even finish my reply, we heard the crowd cheer in hoorah as the sleek black limousine rolled down outside the steps of the Church, people gathered around as I caught a glimpse of the white couture stepping out of the car but that was all I could notice from the distance, people hurriedly flocked her like prey.

"What did I tell you?" Jesse chuckled and extend her hands in my direction "Just like a princess"

I shook my head as we both giggled and sauntered down the aisle to take our assigned seats up front, the bells finally signaling the wedding was about to begin.