Lemon & Lime

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Continuing 3 years Ago (Part 2)

Jimin's uncle seemed so shocked and angry to the point that he violently kicked at anything tangible insight and made Jimin scared and frightened as he had never seen him behave this way before- EVER!

– His uncle was a very quiet introverted person who spent his entire life in his room never stepping foot out except in the dead of the night to get food and snacks from the kitchen. He had no friends and no one knew of him. He was what the Japanese would call Hikikomori.

Hikikomori is when someone locks themselves in their bedrooms for years refusing to come out because they feared the outside world, creating social and health problem for themselves. Most case studies have only focused on the psychological aspect, but hikikomori is not just about mental illness, you also have to consider the social and biological aspect and so it is a multi-dimensional diagnosis.

Jimin's uncle slept during the day and lived at night, trawling the internet. He made money online to maintain his odd choice of livelihood so he wouldn't need to step foot outside of his bedroom let alone the house front door.

He refused all contact or the possible chance of making friends, sneaking out only in the dead of night to eat in the kitchen.

It is said that 'Once you experience it (Hikikomori), you lose reality'.

It allows Jimin's uncle to cope with some type of shame, pressure, emotional stress, judgment of others and also in Jimin's uncle's case its all of these plus his own weakness, self-hatred/self-blame, anger, frustrations and many more that caused him to withdraw from the world. The pain of him escaping at the cost of his entire family being killed except for only one sibling who is Jimin's father was too hard for him to endure and cope with living a normal life.

At this very moment all of that just intensified even more, knowing that such horrible history is somehow repeating itself around him again. The emotions overflowing to the point where every blood vessel in his body felt like it was popping, breaking to the surface of his skin.

'' Why? (He cries) Why is this happening all over again!''

Anger, pain, and hatred all boiled deep in his system, as hot as lava. They churned within, hungry for destruction, and he knows it's too much for him to handle.

''GOD AM I CURSED? Is it that wrong for me to have lived? I... (He huffs panting) I feel s-so suffocated... (Breathing intensifies)''

Jimin's uncle roar's out a deep painful screech struggling for a relief in his chest which suddenly feels too tight to inhale or exhale.

The pressure of this raging sea of anger, hatred, and pain forced him to literally blow up and erupt into a mad rampage.

He was already very unhealthy and his body was already extremely weak so the damage is most costly to himself than it was to the pieces of furniture being thrown around in the dark kitchen.

Jimin's uncle's angry outburst continued on for what felt like forever and Jimin couldn't help feeling scared having never seen his uncle like this before.

Jimin quickly backed away a little to crawl with minimum sound to his movement so as to not alert the wild person going berserk in the kitchen and hide away in the dark corner just to make himself even smaller than he already is.

His uncle growled angrily with frustration and roughly pulled out the telephone cable violently from wherever it was connected to on the wall and threw it across the room towards the door in the direction where Jimin was hiding.

Jimin flinches at the sound of the telephone colliding with the hard ground a few feet away from him.

He squeezes himself in utter fear even closer to the wall when he saw the abused telephone suddenly lying in front of him in the spot where he was standing not so long ago, when he was peeking at his uncle before hiding deeper into the corner behind the door.

It was a good thing he had moved from there or else he could have been hurt.

He said a small 'Thank you God' prayer in his head; he was lucky indeed.

Jimin's eyes opened wide in surprise and he immediately pushed and shifted himself further into the wall making sure to pull his feet and knees closer to himself in a tight hug in the dark area when he realize that his uncle might stepped out of the kitchen to come pick up the discarded telephone.

He hides holding tight to his legs in hopes that he wouldn't get discovered, should, his uncle suddenly decide to retrieve the abused telephone.

Meanwhile, his uncle continues torturing himself. He roughly and forcefully pushed his entire hair back as if in a ponytail using both of his hands; As if he is trying to pluck out all the hair strands on his head. He curses darkly and nonstop.

It felt like hours gone by.

Then it suddenly became quiet.

Too quiet after such an intense moment ....

To the point that Jimin found the silence even more unnerving especially after his uncles bizarre and outrageous outburst of rage.

That was when Jimin knew that it was better to get the hell away from there at once or else who knows what might happen to him should he be caught eavesdropping.

That was the scariest thing Jimin had ever witnessed in his whole life.

That night, Jimin couldn't help shaking in fright that he literally struggled to get up from his spot and ended up needing to crawl out from the darkness like a baby at the same time holding on to his breath.

Slowly and as quietly as possible, he poked half of his face through the door just to spy on his uncle one last time to check and see why it had suddenly gone quiet.

There was no helping it. His curiosity got the best of him. But hush...

~>~

Whatever he had prepared himself to witness or had imagined in his head. Well, like anybody in his position would've also imagined being the final picture of a big outburst like that, would probably feel the same shock at what he was actually looking at.

What he thought he would see displayed in the kitchen was the remnants of wasteland of a one-man war, however, that came nowhere close to the view that graced his eyes in the end.

Because what he saw of his uncle that night was just too shocking ... definitely NOT EXPECTED!

Jimin can never forget that sight. It will forever be imprinted in his memories.

The view he saw that very night, he wishes to not have seen, he regrets spying on his uncle.

........

~>~

Since then, Jimin spent soo much time to try to wash away the terrifying image out of his memories.

His hard work always resulted in failure each and every time - over and over again because he could NEVER FORGET IT.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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