It was surprising to me that Harry wanted to go back home. After traveling and doing my own thing, home was the last place on earth I thought I'd go back to. It's been nice to just be with Harry. To do our own thing and only worry about us. The thought of leaving New York has been kind of sad, but New York will always be here and home is wherever Harry is.

We spent the last couple weeks tying up loose ends. We took our time with packing up the apartment, he told the landlord he'd be moving out and went to school to officially drop out. We applied to other schools across the country and decided we would go to whichever one we both got into, no matter where it was, which made the applying process kind of fun. Plus, I decided to change my major from English to Psychology and Social Work, so that I can one day help kids like me and Harry.

The weather changed and fall came quickly, and while it was cold on most days, we made the most of New York as much as we could before we left, even with everything else we had to do prior to heading back home. Central Park is even more beautiful when everything isn't just green. It's like heaven in the middle of the city. All oranges and reds and yellows surrounding you, like you're in a completely different world. My little escape from reality.

We decided to sell my car and drive Harry's across the country. It was a hard decision because of where that car has taken me over the last half of a year. It was with me through my entire journey. But it brought me back to Harry and my use for that little car isn't needed anymore. And so, when I handed the keys to its new owner, I said goodbye to that part of my life and with that, opened my arms to new adventures of an unknown future with high hopes.

But for now, we're on our way back home to surprise Anne and Robin, who don't know we're coming. It's been a tough secret to keep from Anne, because she calls so often and wants to know everything we're doing. But she can't stop gushing over how we're finally together because it's all she's ever wanted. Lying to her has become harder and harder now that we've been on the road for a few days, but we've somehow done it so far, and thinks we're going to fly home for Thanksgiving in a couple weeks.

We've been stopping in places to take in the scenery. Staying overnight in hotels and taking our time with the drive to really enjoy it and our road trip together. It's a hell of a lot more fun this time around because Harry is with me and as there is not a moment I take for granted that he's by my side. 

"What happens if we don't get into the same school?" I ask, stepping out of the car and stretching. Harry is already standing in front of me with my coat, waiting for me to put my arms through.

"You're really thinking about that right now?" he asks, his mouth slightly ajar and eyebrows pinched together. "We're at the Grand fucking Canyon, Jayde. Let's not think about the what if's right now. Let's just go and enjoy the view for a while."

"I just think it's important for us to be realistic," I tell him, turning and slipping my arms through the sleeves. He wraps his arms around me from behind and places his chin on my shoulder. "We can't just assume everything will work out. Look at our past. Nothing has ever been that easy."

He spins me around to look at him. "Maybe not easy," he says. "But challenging. We work good together when things don't work in our favor. We're good with challenges. So listen to me." His eyes flick back and forth between mine, so intense yet sincere. "We'll get through it. We'll figure it out if we have to." He grabs my hand and pulls me across the parking lot, smiling as he does so. "For now, we're going to enjoy this moment before the sunset takes it away."

My mouth falls open and my eyes widen now that I'm not focusing on Harry. The sunset makes everything so much more red around us. The view, only such a small part of this grand canyon and yet, I can see for miles, the vast beauty in all of it. It makes me feel small. Smaller than I think I've ever felt before, and yet makes me feel like I'm on top of the world and can conquer just about anything. The two contrasting feelings coming together in a way I've never endured. Small and capable.

Maybe Harry is right. Maybe I shouldn't worry right now, when there's still time to just enjoy each other in the moment. In moments like this, when he's smiling at me and the wind is blowing through his curls and we're together, seeing something so monumental, not knowing exactly what we'll take away from this experience together. Just knowing that it's going to be good.

"I think your Grandma was right about seeing the world," he says. "This sight alone makes me realize just how great the world is, how big it is and how much we're missing out on by staying in one place."

"She was right about a lot of things," I smile, leaning on the fence and putting my arm around him.

"Are you mad you didn't get out of the country?" he asks. "I mean, you applied to schools before you went anywhere else. Isn't that going against what you wanted? You didn't end up taking the whole year off like you wanted to."

I don't answer right away, because he does have a point and reminded me of all my previous plans. But like always, I look at him and smile, because there will never be a day that I wouldn't choose him. "The world will always be there," I answer. "And maybe as I changed, my dreams changed. I don't think I'm missing out on anything as long as I'm with you."

He snuggles tighter into me and kisses me on the forehead. There have been so many times with him when moments are perfect.  When I know there's no place I'd rather be than in that moment with him. This moment is one of those moments and it's pretty close to the top of my favorites with him, because somehow I know that he would always choose me too.

*

We were so close to being home when Harry suggested we stop in the city to apply for my passport. I argued with him about not needing it right now because we were going to focus on school once we got into one instead of traveling, but he insisted we get it done just in case. It was a quick process and the only reason I agreed to it was because he suggested that we stay in one last hotel together for the night before we head home and live with his mom again.

Although it had been just us for a while now, taking advantage of one last night alone before we stepped back into reality, felt right. I missed Anne a great deal and couldn't wait to see her, but I didn't want our time alone to end, as if thinking the moment we stepped back into town, everything would be hard again and I needed to breathe in Harry one last time, as if it might be the last time things would be the way they have been. Easy and fulfilling and happy.

And so I took him in one last time. Made the most of it just being us, the way it was in the very beginning. There was something so special about it, even though he still looked at me the same as he always did. The one thing I always loved about being with Harry, is that having sex with him always feels like the first time and the last time all at once. There's always so much meaning in each and every time he touches me.

"Before we go home, can we stop somewhere first?" I ask, looking over at Harry from the passenger seat as we drive into town. He glances back at me with one eyebrow raised. "I know I could do it any time, but I kind of want to get it over with."

"Your house?" he asks, clearly understanding me without having to tell him.

"I just want to see what's left of it," I explain quietly, my head falling. "I don't know." There was something inside of me the entire trip home, telling me to say goodbye officially to that part of my life and to see what fire did to my past and to let it all go, really let it go.

"You don't need to explain yourself, Jayde." He reaches across the console and places his hand on my thigh, giving me a compassionate smile, which I return. His kindness and how he has always empathized with me when it came to my parents has made me love him so much more and sometimes I wonder if I deserve him. I don't think I do. "Of course we'll stop there first."

The quick ride through town to my old house is quiet. I'm not sure how I'm feeling or what it is I think I'm going to see when we get there, but there's an anxiousness in the pit of my stomach, almost like how I would feel when I knew I had to encounter either of my parents when I lived there. It's so unpleasant.

It's only when it comes into view, do I realize why I was feeling this way. The gloominess of the sky adds to the scene before me, a house crumbled to the ground. It's nothing but a pile of wood, the only thing left standing are the front steps that used to lead to the front door.

Harry parks in front of where I used to live and all I can do is sit and stare at it. "Are you alright?" he simply asks. "We can leave if you want. This is a bit much, even for me."

"It's fine, Harry," I say. "This place deserved to be burned to the ground. I just wanted to see it, that's all."

As I get out of the car, I see someone come out from the other side of the pile of wood. I'm in shock and confused, yet there is an excitement built up inside of me and I can't help but smile at her. There's a part of me that thinks she might be my imagination. That is, until she speaks.

"Jayde?" she says, stopping in her tracks, staring back at me.

"Mom!"

A/N: Many many apologies for making you wait.  I do hope this chapter was worth it, and I promise it won't take me as long to write the next one.
In the meantime, it would mean the world to me if you checked out my newest book, Dreamscape, while you wait for the next chapter of this one. It's different than anything I've written before, but I think it'll be worth your time!

Thoughts on this one? I'd love to hear them!

Much Love,
amberlove
xo