"How long will it take to get it fixed?" I ask in frustration.

"I have to wait for the part to come in," Pat, the mechanic explains to me for the third time. "So, it really all depends on that. A few days, maybe a week tops. It won't take long to fix it once I have it. But for now, let the waiting game begin!"

I let out a long groan, annoyed that I'm stuck in Oklahoma. A place called Broken Arrow, to be exact. After my car broke down in the middle of the night, I was stuck on the side of the road for hours before someone could come tow me away, which already had me annoyed. Now, I've been walking between the front of my car and behind for what feels like hours, as I watched Pat, the mechanic, look at it, clink a few things here and there, his hands getting blacker with grease by the moment and my irritated self can't be controlled.

It's not that I'm in any hurry to get anywhere, but I wonder if I should just buy another car and forget this one ever existed, just to keep going. Instead, I take a good long look at my ford focus and heave a sigh. Despite the fact it hasn't been with me for long, it has been with me since I started this journey and I've grown to love how comfortable it's gotten.

"Looks like you're gonna be stuck here a while," he laughs. "Might as well go find yourself a place to stay and get comfortable. Broken Arrow isn't all that bad if ya ask me."

"Right," I say, glaring at him. Broken Arrow, Oklahoma isn't exactly the place I thought I'd end up,not even knowing it existed prior to today, but here I am. I might as well go make the most of it, since I have no other choice.

I hand Pat the mechanic my car keys for the last time and tell him to take care of my baby while I'm gone, before I head over to the office and fill out the paperwork to get my car fixed.

"Any good places to stay here?" I ask the guy behind the desk as I'm filling the papers out.

"There's a motel right around the corner," he tells me. "Washington? What brings ya all the way to Oklahoma?" He takes a long look at my drivers licence before he hands it back to me and his question makes me look at him. I realize it's the first time in my frustrated state that I see the person across the desk from me. His blue eyes are bright and he smiles at me, somehow making me speechless. "It was just a question, Jayde. You don't actually need to tell me the truth or look at me like you think I want to murder you."

"Oh..." I stutter, clearing my throat. "I'm sorry. That's not what I...never mind." I shake my head, not knowing what's wrong with me. "I'm..just on a road trip. For the record, I didn't think you'd murder me. Until now, actually."

He lets out a small laugh and I go back to filling out the papers in front of me, feeling flustered and not wanting to look at him anymore. He is far too cute for his own good and I have a feeling he knows this. I'm sure he has this affect on a lot of girls, but I don't want to be one of them.

"So, we'll give you a call when your car is ready," he tells me, handing me an auto shop card. 

"Oh, I'm sure you'll see me before then," I say, which makes his eyebrows rise slowly on his forehead.

"Oh, really?" His inquisitive stare is almost enough to knock me off my feet. How is he so good looking?  "I should introduce myself then. I'm Tyler."

"I just meant that I'll be coming by every day to check on my car," I explain. "No other reason...none at all."

Fuck, I'm awkward. What the hell is wrong with me? He finds my obvious embarrassment funny, as he stifles a laugh at my expense.

"You're cute," he tells me. Instantly, I feel my face go hot with his words and I need to get out of here.

"Gotta go." I flee for the door as quickly as possible, realizing before I step through it, just how pathetic I am.

"See you around, Jayde!" he calls.

I find the motel that Tyler told me about quicker than I thought I would. It's right around the corner from the auto shop where my car is residing this week. It's not at all what I was expecting. But I don't know what I was expecting in this small town. The rooms are side by side in one story row houses, they're old and I wonder if I should have ventured somewhere else to find a place to stay. But it has a kitchen and it's close to my car and I don't want to carry my luggage around this town trying to find something else, so I decide to stay put.

It's been a week and a half already since I left LA. I've been through Arizona, New Mexico and Texas, stopping in a few places to sight see for a few hours or stay the night and take a shower in a hotel. It was nice to just explore and see new places and take in the beauty as I drove to somewhere new. I drove with the music loud, sang along at the top of my lungs and ate too many chips while stopping every chance I got just to have Starbucks. I've tried so many different beverages now, I can now say I'm a caffeine expert with a slight addiction.

This cross country road trip, as boring as it can be at times, has turned out to be somewhat freeing. I now understand why it was important for me to leave my life behind and experience this, because for someone who had never left Washington in her life, this experience is liberating, far more than I ever thought it would be. The farther away I get from there, the better I feel.  And despite the fact that when I first left LA and didn't want to be alone, being alone has given me so much insight to who I am, even more so than before, now that most of my negativity has been thrown out the window back in Arizona.

As much as I miss Harry and know the full truth now, I decided it was best to keep my distance from him. My intuition told me that if I was to continue talking to him, that I would run to him without having finished this journey I desperately need to finish. I knew that he would somehow convince me that I needed to be there with him. From that one phone call, as happy as he sounded without me, I've realized over the last few days that he still wants me there. He'd ask me to come to New York every chance he got and eventually I'd give in to him. 

And I can't do that.

I'm sitting on the bed in the middle of my motel room, looking at pictures on my phone since I left home. The first few pictures I'm not even smiling. At least not with my eyes. I almost don't even recognize myself, the sunken sad eyes that stare back at me in these photos. Most of the pictures from Seattle are just of places or things I saw, only a few of me, and some of my mom. I wonder how she's doing.

This makes me realize that my father would have gotten out of prison, his sixty days are over now and I wonder why no one contacted me with his release. But now that I'm far away from there, I just shrug it off and go back to my pictures, not wanting to worry about him or my old life. I'm over it.

I captured my adventures as much as I could. Took pictures of all the nice things I saw. So much beauty. There's so many pictures of sunsets on the beach and LA, and I miss it there. But what I love most are the pictures I took with the friends I made and our memories, and I feel as though, through these pictures, my time there was well documented enough to make it easy to relive it all. And my smile, the one that's so easy to express now, is shown on my face much more in these photos than the previous ones.

Since I left LA, there are more pictures of me with backgrounds of places I have visited in the last week and a half, my smile contagious in each of them. And I love how this journey has shown an obvious growth in me just through this slideshow. I needed to see all of this today after my car breaking down and being stuck here, because I'm more than certain that if my car broke down a couple months ago, I wouldn't have just been frustrated, I would have been sitting in a pool of my own tears right now, and I'm not. Not even close.

This calls for a celebration. Realizing I've been hiding out in this room for a lot longer than I should have, I leave it to, of course, find Starbucks.

Fumbling with my key in the lock as I'm leaving my room, I hear someone call, "Yes Mrs Winston, I will fix the ice machine first thing in the morning, I promise." I haven't looked up from the lock I can't seem to get my key in, when someone walks backwards into me, my key dropping to the ground, frustrating me all over again. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry," the same voice says. Before I can stand from getting my key, he bends down to my level. "Hi."

It's Tyler from the auto shop and he has a smile on his face as he looks at me. "Uh, hey," I manage to stammer as I stand back up. "What..what are you doing here?"

"Maybe I'm here to murder you," he says, standing up with me. "Or just stalking you. Whichever you prefer."

"Funny," I say, rolling my eyes, trying the key again.

He takes the key from me, jiggles it in the lock and turns it before giving it back to me. "This one can be kind of fussy sometimes. I've been meaning to fix it for a while." I can't help but stare at him, confused. "My dad owns this place," he answers my questionable expression. "I live here as well as work here when I'm not working at the garage."

I'm at a loss for words and I'm not certain as to why, other than the fact that he's so good looking, it actually makes me speechless. But there really is a part of me that thinks there's a possibility he actually sent me to stay here on purpose. "Starbucks," I blurt.

"Huh?"

"Where's the Starbucks in this town?" I ask, finding my voice. "I need caffeine."

He laughs. "You won't find a Starbucks around here. But I can take you to the best coffee around."

Not long after, I find myself sitting in a quaint little diner. I'm sitting on a stool at the counter next to this strange guy listening to the conversation between him and the waitress as I sip at my hot coffee. He was lying when he said it was the best, but for it not being Starbucks, it's refreshing enough.

Someone walks in and the waitress disappears to greet them and Tyler turns his attention back to me. "Sorry about that," he says. "Old friend. Was I right about the coffee? It's good, right?"

"Had better," I smile. "But it'll do. So, you lived here your whole life?" 

"Born and raised," he proudly smiles. "Not much to do, that's why I'm a working man. It's not so bad, I like it here. Everyone knows each other and we like it that way. But it's always nice when we get a visitor. Don't get many of those around here, actually. You're the first in a while."

"Aren't there other guests at the motel?" I ask, calling him out thinking I've caught him in a lie.

"They live there," he explains. "Gotta make money somehow,"

After some time our small talk becomes a little easier. I don't feel as dumbfounded sitting next to him after our third cup of coffee. He's friendly and I like the company. After spending almost two weeks alone, welcoming conversation is just what I needed. I can feel the slight pang of guilt that rests in my chest whenever my mind wanders as I look at him and can't help but think of how good looking he is, but I'm not doing anything wrong. Why should I feel bad for having a harmless coffee with someone I'm attracted to?

Except I do feel bad and I know exactly why.

A/N: Sorry for the filler chapter. Hope you'll still give it a star!

Thoughts?

Much Love,
amberlove
XO