"Some days, all I need is music. Other days, I need lyrics. Today, I want to lose myself in her.

She has the kind of beauty that is so easily overlooked. Even I missed it for years. She doesn't flaunt it, nor does she put a lot of work into making it happen. Her quiet demeanor and introspective gaze frequently caught my wandering eye, but it was only since that first night, I've been certain that I have never encountered anyone more beautiful.

And maybe I thought I needed her to escape the pain of my broken heart. To forget it was broken in the first place. Except I never would have thought she'd be the one to fix it without even trying. But she did. She has made me, on most days, forget that the girl who broke my heart still exists. She has made me miss her less and less and reminds me that my first love isn't going to be my last.

I know I didn't cross paths with this girl for her to be my next love. That's not what she is here for. I will keep her here until I find where the right girl is. Because somehow I know that she needs me just the same as I do her. To forget something that has broken her, or to just not feel as lonely. And maybe that's why I like to keep her close—

It's nice to be needed again. Not in the way that every other girl tries to lean on me. Those girls have never wanted me for the right reasons. It's clear in their eyes they just want me to be able to say that they have had me. And so, they have never gotten me, nor will they ever.

But this girl, I know I can trust. And even though she may need me for all the wrong reasons, as long as it's not for some kind of gain, or bragging rights, being needed is better than not at all. And if I'm capable of putting a smile on her face when she needs it the most, if I can make her feel something, even if it's just to forget pain or loneliness, giving her what I wouldn't give anyone else is what I will keep doing. Because it's what I need. What she needs.

She's a mess of beautiful chaos, it's written in her eyes.

Boy_Undiscovered"

Harry asked me every day last week if Aunt Flo had disappeared yet, because he needed his Sweet Girl fix, suggesting that we could just have sex in the shower. But I don't think I could ever hook up with someone when I am feeling like being a girl is quite possibly the worst thing imaginable. The last thing I'd ever want to do is get naked with someone when I feel bloated, want to live in my pajamas and the only thing in my meal plan is ice cream and chocolate.

And although he complained, as if not getting laid for a week was the hardest thing he had ever done, he was actually quite nice about it. Almost like he understood girls more than I thought he did. Rehearsals started happening every other night last week, which only meant everyone went out for dinner after, and so three times he showed up at my window with a different kind of chocolaty desert from whatever place they had went to eat at, just to make me feel better. He never stayed. He just knocked on the window, handed me the desert, and went back down the ladder to his dog.

But this week, he has shown up at my window every night, minus last night because it was Thursday, giving into my desperate need for an escape. It's strange to have the kind of relationship I have with him, because most nights there are no words being spoken. The second he crawls through the window, his lips are on mine, clothes are on the floor and I'm wrapped up in his presence, so quickly falling into the place I need to be the most. Far away from reality, surrounded by twinkle lights that reflect off of his eyes, taking me to the stars each and every time he looks at me. And then, with a simple kiss goodnight, he's gone.

The only time we did say anything to each other, was the first night he was able to come over. When he wouldn't stop talking after sex, about how thankful he was that Aunt Flo was finally gone and should never—ever—visit again. He talked to my abdomen as if my ovaries might listen to him.

Strange boy, he is.

But it made me laugh. And sometimes I get this crazy idea in my head that he knows somewhere inside of me, I'm hurting, and a part of him wants to just make me smile. But then I realize thinking that is nonsense, because all I am to him, is his daily fix, he hasn't got a clue what goes on in my head and I've come to the conclusion that him being silly is just who he is, and that's why girls gravitate towards him.

Tonight there is a party at Niall's house, as always. Maddy and Kate tried convincing me to go all day, but Carter had asked if I wanted to go to the arcade and play pool with him. I'd much rather hang out with Carter, than go to a party and be around drunk people. I don't particularly like the thought of alcohol or being around it, because I know myself. Once it's in front of me, I have to drink it. And I can't just have one. I have to have many. It's as if my parents somehow gave me an alcoholic gene—if that's even possible. And so I try my best to stay away from it as much as possible.

But Carter ditched me. It never should have surprised me. He likes to go to Niall's parties because the basketball team goes. Except this time, he finally had the courage to ask Layla, the new girl at school, to go as his date, forgetting about me in the process. I'm not his number one anymore. I'm not his main priority like it used to be. And despite the fact it's been this way for a while now, it still seems to shock me when he chooses someone else over me.

Not wanting to be in my house anymore, I left to wait for my parents to leave for the pub, which is where they go every Friday and Saturday nights. I've been sitting in my favorite place since, watching the sun set and the stars appear in the sky as it changed from orange to dark blue and purple to black, making sure to wish on the first star I saw, as I do every time I sit here.

The Clearing has been my favorite place for as long as I can remember. It's my little piece of Heaven. A clearing at the edge of the woods with a hill at the end of the long field, where I sit at the top, and look out to what I call the rest of the world. It overlooks our town with the city in the distance. Surprisingly I barely ever see anyone here, and the only person who knows I come here, is Carter, which is one of the reasons I like it so much.

In the darkness I hear footsteps, and automatically I assume it's Carter, who changed his mind about being at the party, imagining he had a bad time with Layla and he has come to rescue me from the thoughts in my head, deciding that he'd much rather be with me than her. Instead, when I turn around, I see Harry standing there staring at me, the moonlight shining on his face brilliantly.

"Mind if I sit?" He doesn't wait for me to answer as he sits down on the grass next to me and breathes out a long breath, looking out at the view. "I texted you a couple times."

"I left my phone at home," I tell him. "Why? Did you want to come over?"

"Yeah," he smiles, looking over at me.

"What happened to the party?"

He shrugs his shoulders and looks up into the starry sky, leaning back on his hands, stretching his legs out in front of him. "A number of things, I guess," he finally says. "I saw Carter was there with Layla. I thought you were going to the arcade with him?"

"He ditched me."

"Rachel kissed me," he says suddenly, making me look at him.

"Oh."

"And we got in a fight."

"What?" I ask, a little too loudly. "Why?"

"Because I had to tell her I like someone else just so she would back off," he sighs. "She was persistent and wouldn't leave me alone. And she was pissed because she thinks the girl I like is Maddy and apparently that's the worst thing in the world."

I can't help but laugh at his attempt to sound like Rachel as he rolls his eyes and uses quotations with his hands.

"Sorry, girls are so frustrating sometimes," he tells me, shaking his head in annoyance. "Especially when they're drunk."

"Yeah." I don't know why I don't know what to say. It surprises me that he is frustrated with Rachel, but I quite like that he is making it known to me that he really has dropped the other girls, keeping his promise to me. With her failed attempt to hook up with him tonight, it's clear that she now knows he's done sleeping with her—at least for now. And at least with the way he's been with Maddy lately, it keeps me off everyone's radar.

"Harry," I say, breaking a long silence as we look at each other. "How did you know I was here?"

He smiles, turning to point in the direction of houses just beyond the trees. "See the attic window with the light on? That's my bedroom."

"Oh."

"You come here a lot," he says, turning back to me. "I always see you here. I remember the first day I moved here you were here, and for a whole year you were the mysterious girl on the hill. I didn't know it was you until Liam came over one time and told me it was you."

It's weird to think that after all this time, and I thought no one knew I came here, someone's known all along and has watched me from afar. As strange as it is, I feel comfort in knowing I was never really alone. That somehow he has been with me this whole time.

My eyes search his face, taking in his features lit up by the moon. He looks back at me as he leans in closer, his hand reaching up to the side of my face, tucking my hair behind my ear. He looks at me the same way every time he wants to have sex. His eyes flick back and forth between mine, he licks his lips before biting down on the bottom one. A serious look on his face, never having to speak a word for me to know what he's thinking.

His lips are on mine quickly, his tongue playing with mine as he lays me down on the grass, propping himself up beside me with his elbow with his hand under my head. I like that he doesn't waste his time when it comes to me, his hand instantly making its way into my shirt and cupping my breast over my bra.

It's clear that our want for each other is strong. How easily our sexual desires connect on levels I've never experienced before, like there's some magnetic force pulling us together, intertwining our needs in ways I never knew existed. With his lips on mine and his hand roaming my body, I'm lost in everything that he is, but with with the stars so close, for the first time, I don't need to go anywhere.

His hand moves slowly down my stomach, stopping at the button of my jeans, making me pull away from his lips to look at him. "Should we go back to my house?" I ask.

He smiles, leaning back down to kiss me, his hair hanging in his face. "No," he answers. "I want you, right here."

I take a moment to think about it as he presses his lips to my neck as I look up at that stars. This is my place. The place I've always come to sort out the thoughts locked in my head. My place to feel better. To show me that there's more to life than just this town, more than what I'm stuck with now. I can see it in the distance. Do I want this to happen here and take away its importance to me?

But with his lips on me and his hands roaming my body, with the stars above us and the moonlight glistening, I know that all I want is to get lost. And maybe him being here with me is exactly what I need, to feel as though I'm not alone. After all, he's been with me all this time without me knowing. Maybe now is the time that I understand the meaning behind that. Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe—just maybe—allowing myself to lose myself in him, at this very moment, surrounded by real twinkle lights in my most favorite place, is the only thing that's real. Or maybe I just need it to be.

Without another thought, my hand reaches down to undo the button of his jeans, making it known to him I'm okay with hooking up here. That we don't need to go back to my house. I can feel him grin against the skin of my neck, a small moan escaping his lips, to what I assume is his way of telling me he likes that we're going to do this in a place where someone could see us.

He doesn't waste his time in pulling my jeans down my legs and pressing his fingers against my center over my boy short underwear as he moves his body down, lifting my shirt to bare my stomach to him. He positions himself between my legs, kissing slowly down my stomach, leaving goosebumps on my skin in its trail.

My heart starts to pound as he gets on his knees to slide my underwear down my legs, keeping his eyes on me as he does, leaning down between my legs to press his lips to the inside of my thigh. "Harry," I say, leaning up on my elbows to look at him. "Just fuck me."

He leans up and hovers his body over mine, leaving his face inches from mine, as he slides a finger into me before rubbing my clit. "I've been thinking about doing this all day, sweet girl," he says, keeping his eyes on me. "I want to make you feel good."

Not once since we've been hooking up, has he suggested using his tongue on me, and although I want for him to lick me, I can't imagine for it to happen here. "Next time," I whisper. "Just fuck me."

I pull his face down to mine, kissing him with force. Although everything around me has started to disappear, with his fingers already making me lose any sense of control, the only thing I want is to feel him inside of me. To feel his fingers dig into my skin as he thrusts himself into me. I reach down to pull at his jeans initiating for him to take them off, not wanting to wait any longer.

"My sweet girl just wants the cock," he smirks.

"Just yours," I remind him.

He shakes his head at me, smiling, pulling a condom out of his jeans pocket and putting it between his teeth before pulling his pants down along with his boxers. "Next time, you're in for a treat," he tells me. "I promise you that." I watch as he rips the wrapper open and rolls the condom on over his hard length, before leaning down between my legs, pressing his tongue against me and circling his tongue around my clit.

The feeling of his warm tongue on me makes the stars seem closer. How easy it is to lose myself in them so quickly with his touch. I know if I let him keep going, I won't want him to stop, and right now, as I slip away, I'm conflicted with wanting to keep his head between my legs and wanting to feel the pressure of him thrusting into of me. I let out a long disappointing breath when he moves his mouth away from me and moves his body to lay on top of mine.

"Sorry, I just needed a taste," he says, pressing his lips to my neck. "I knew there was a reason I called you sweet girl." I cover my face, embarrassed by his words, as he lets out a breathy laugh. "Seems it won't just be you who gets the treat next time."

"Oh my God, can you not?" I embarrassingly laugh.

He swipes my hands away from my face to look me in the eyes. With his hair hanging over his face, the way the moonlight shines on his skin, a dimple pressed into his cheek as he smiles at me, I have never seen anyone more fascinating this close to me. "No need to be shy, sweet girl," he whispers, feeling his breath fan across my face. "Remember, I'm addicted to you. I'm going to explore every inch of your body, kiss you from head to toe, until you can't remember your name."

The way he speaks so deeply in his husky low tone, his gaze burning into me, turns me on more than anything. I reach my lips up to meet his, pressing them to his with force, wrapping my arms around him tightly. "Just fuck me."

He positions himself to align himself with me, his eyes still on mine as he leans down to kiss me again. This time he doesn't ask his usual okay before sliding himself into me, not giving me a chance for my body to adjust to him and I let out a moan into his mouth, unable to keep myself from being quiet, slipping away into the ecstasy he always takes me to.

He thrusts into me a few times before he slows his motions and looks at me, grabbing onto my hip with one of his hands. "You should go on the pill," he says. "So we don't have to use condoms anymore."

"You're seriously talking about this right now?" I ask.

"I just want to feel you, sweet girl," he whispers, pressing his lips to mine. Instinctively, I allow his tongue access into my mouth to play with mine, not wanting to discuss this topic, but just wanting him to keep going. Maybe if I keep kissing him, he won't talk anymore and my high will resume and I can get lost in him and the stars the way I need to. I lift my hips up to him, to remind him to keep moving, but instead he stops altogether and looks at me. "Would you do that for me?"

I roll my eyes at him and let out an annoyed breath. "I'm already on birth control, but can we talk about this—ya know, maybe after?" I pull his face in close to me and kiss him hard. He needs to stop talking. I need to get back to being lost in him and him talking is ruining everything right now. His lips leave mine and he looks at me, and just by the way his eyes flick back and forth between mine, I can sense myself slip away again. Lost in his eyes. Lost in everything that he is.

He thrusts his hips hard into me, picking up the pace as he presses his lips to my jaw, leaving a trail down to my neck as I look at the stars. I can feel his muscles contracting with every move he makes, as I scratch down his back. His breath is getting heavy quickly, moaning every so often. I like the sounds he makes. I like how his curls fall into his face and his mouth slightly falls open.

He sits up on his knees, bringing my legs up his chest for my feet to rest on his shoulders, plunging into me deeper, hitting exactly the right spot each time he thrusts into me. I want him to be naked. I want to throw his shirt off of him to see his tattoos in the moonlight as he increases his speed. He leans down to hover over me, my feet on either side of his face, as he kisses up my leg from my ankle to my knee.

"Fuck you feel so good," he groans. His eyes meet mine and I can't help but keep my gaze on his. Getting lost in his eyes is my favorite place to be, I never want to come down from the way he's making me feel, knowing the only time I am truly happy, is when he's touching me, reality as far away as possible, I never want to leave. "God, you're beautiful," he whispers.

I move my legs down to wrap them around him tightly, taking in his words. Whether or not he just thinks I'm beautiful in this moment with him, or in general, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that he thinks it, and hearing it makes me feel connected to the stars—and to him in ways I've never been connected to anyone. I can feel my legs start to shake as he kisses me sloppily, thrusting into me harder, not missing a beat. The universe seemingly coming together and colliding all at once, as the world around me starts to spin in circles.

I can sense that he is reaching his high, his thrusting shifting to a different pace, his moaning getting deeper and his breaths heavier. His eyes shut tightly as he grabs hold of my hip, digging his fingers into me as I scratch harder down his back under his shirt. "Fuck," he moans.

He collapses down onto my body, our breathing heavy. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest beating rapidly, before he lifts himself up to kiss me. When he parts his lips from mine, he looks at me as we try to catch our breath.

I'm realizing as I look back at him, that the best feeling in the world, isn't just losing myself in him, it's losing myself in him and not feeling lost at all. He is exactly what I have needed to escape the truth that is my life, because as I look at him, it's the first time in a very long time, I feel as though I'm in exactly the place I'm supposed to be.

A/N: So sorry for the wait for this chapter. I've been extremely busy lately and working a ton of hours. Hopefully you're still with me and enjoying each chapter as it comes, even if it's taking a little longer than I want it to.

Press the star and leave a comment! I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thank you so much for 5K reads! ♥♥♥

Much Love,
amberlove

xo