I always thought I knew what pain and heartache and exhaustion felt like. But I have never felt worse in all my life. My heart was shattered at the realization my mother would leave me here to fend for myself. Sure, I'm an adult and have the means to do well for myself, but she didn't know that. She left me here with an abusive father not caring what actually happened to me-just hoping that I would do what I had to.

And despite the fact I was relieved that my mother had finally set off to do something good for herself for a change, the powerful feeling of loss was excruciating and I was having a hard time seeing passed that.

Carter stuck around and helped me clean my room. He swept up all the glass and vacuumed, making sure there was nothing sharp left on the hard surface, while I ended up throwing everything that was broken in a trash bag, which was more than half of my things. Carter was there every time I started to cry again, having trouble believing my things were being thrown away. He let me hug him, tears falling on his shirt multiple times and he never walked away to continue with work that never should have been his to begin with, without telling me I'd get through all of this and be stronger than before because of it.

Without a second thought, I took up his offer to sleep at his house, not wanting to be in my house alone. My work wasn't even close to being finished, but by the time midnight hit, we both knew the next day's classes were going to be hell if we didn't get some sleep.

"Are you going to tell Harry?" Carter asks, as I turn over to look at him. The morning sun is shining into his bedroom window, lighting up not just the room, but his blue eyes just the way I like. I'm not sure I slept a wink, but my eyes are open wide despite how exhausted I feel.

"I don't know," I shrug. "I don't want to cry today, so maybe another day. Plus, we're still a secret, we don't talk much at school anyways."

"Why are you still a secret anyways?" he asks, brushing a hair out of my face.

"It's no one's business," I shrug again. "People talk too much shit at school. It's better this way."

"Is it really though?" He raises his eyebrows at me, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders. I let out a long breath and look away from him. "I think you should tell him what's going on, Jayde. I think it's something he needs to know, so you're not alone in this. You need him."

"I'm not alone in this," I say, sitting up. "That's what I have you for."

"You are honestly unbelievable," he laughs lightly.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

He shakes his head at me as we get out of bed, and as I make my way to his window, I look at him to see that he's stretching and letting out a long yawn. I feel bad that he's lost sleep because of me. He's had to help me and do so much more than he ever should have when it came to me.

"Hey, Carter?" I say, climbing through the window. "Thanks for yesterday-and last night-and every other time I've needed you. I don't deserve you."

He walks over to the window, crouching down to the level I'm at outside and smiles at me. "I'll always be on your side," he tells me. "And I'll always be here, even when I'm thousands of miles away from you. No need to thank me." He leans through the window and gives me a small kiss to my forehead. "The day I need you, I know you'll come running too."

We say our goodbye's and I leave to get ready for school at my house. The devastation I feel as I climb into my empty room, brings me back to a reality I wasn't ready to face. Everything seems different now. My room not the only thing that's changed. Despite it always being quiet in my house when dad was gone, it feels extra quiet now that I know mom has left for good.

After a quick shower, still having a bit of free time before school will start, I make my way down the stairs knowing no one is here anymore. Memories flood back to me as I stand in the middle of the living room. With the curtains closed, dust particles are floating through the air in the light peeking through between them, the silence overbearing.

The eerie stillness allows for the screaming matches of the past to surface and I can hear the glass shattering inside of my head louder than it ever was when it was happening, bringing tears to my eyes at the life I have endured.

As I make my way to school, I tell myself that everything will be okay, just as Carter said it would. It's a good thing that mom left. She needed to leave, and I'm going to try and think positive for her sake.

But it turns out to be much harder than I thought it would be, and as time ticks on through classes, my head unable to concentrate on my school work or what the teachers are talking about, by lunch time I'm ready to have a breakdown while trying not to show how emotionally unstable I am to anyone near me.

Kate and I sit down when we find a table in the cafeteria, sitting as far away from everyone as possible. My eyes meet the group's stare and it's clear from the other side of the room that they are talking about us, as Chelsea leans across the table to Maddy and Rachel and they all look our way. I roll my eyes at them, hating the fact that these people don't have anything better to do than talk about us.

"We should go and get our nails done for prom," she says, making me look over at her from across the table, as she looks at her unpolished nails in disgust. "Did you even get a dress yet?"

"Yeah, I did," I answer. "Yesterday."

Yesterday feels like so long ago, after everything that's happened since we got back. It's hard to believe how such an amazing day could turn into what it did and I wonder why my life has to be that way. My eyes wander back over to the group to take a peek at Harry. He's laughing with the boys and is so oblivious to the way my day yesterday took a turn for the worst.

"We should have went together," she says. "Can I come over later to see it?"

"No," I say quickly. Far too quickly. "No, I mean, just because I'm busy tonight. You can't." I look back over at Harry one last time before suddenly standing up, clearly not thinking before doing. "Um, I gotta go. I'll see you after."

I make my way across the cafeteria, not taking my eyes off of Harry. I need him to make me forget. I need for him to give me an escape so I can get through the rest of the day. I don't want to have small talk with Kate, I don't want to feel the eyes of anyone on me as they talk crap about me and I sure as hell know I can't sit through another class unless he relieves me of my stresses so I can focus on things that won't drive me mental.

It doesn't go unnoticed by anyone sitting at this particular table that I am on my way to them. Except I don't mind the bewildered expressions on the girl's faces as if we have never conversed in our lives prior to this moment. All I take in, is Harry's curious eyes as he watches me approach.

"Finally decide you don't want to be friends with Kate either?" Rachel asks.

I roll my eyes at her in response as Maddy and Chelsea giggle with her. "Harry, can I steal you for a while?" I ask.

I notice Maddy tense up next to Niall, reminding me of her blog post. Pathetic girl. Rachel lets out a small gasp and Chelsea's eyebrows raise.

"I'm pretty sure Harry wouldn't want to go anywhere with you," Rachel barks.

I'm so mad at the world, I can feel the anger boiling inside of me waiting to erupt. I don't want to hold my tongue and tell her how I really feel. "Really? Why's that?" I question, sharply.

"You'd be a blow to his reputation," she laughs. "To be seen with you is social suicide."

Harry stands up next to me before I can say anything in return. "Who gave you the right to be a bitch all the time?" he asks. "Dammit, Rachel. Get your head out of your ass."

"You know I'm right, Harry," Rachel continues. "You walk away with her, I'm done with you."

He laughs as if she's just told the funniest joke. "I never wanted anything more," he says before turning to me. "What did you need, Jayde?"

"I think we should go over our family assignments in the library." I look him in the eyes as I raise my eyebrows hoping that he will understand my little lie means I want to hook up.

"Good idea," he smiles, as he gathers his things.

Walking away, I feel better already. The way he smiles at me as we walk through the cafeteria not caring who's looking at us. I knew that he didn't like Rachel, and you'd think she would have already known that, especially with the fact he has stopped flirting with her and any other girl for a while now. But the way he is going on about what she said, I can't help but laugh with him.

The library is desolate, which I knew it would be, minus the librarian who's sitting at her desk eating her lunch by the door. Lunch time, kids are too enthralled in their social lives to come in here to study or do homework. It makes this place perfect for the moment that I need it.

He grabs a hold of my hand, lacing our fingers together as we walk across the floor to the other side of the room, walking between book shelves as if we're in a maze looking for the next exit. Except we're not. We're looking for the dead end in the far corner and when we get there, I feel myself fill with relief.

I stand on the step stool against the wall and pull him in close to me. The stool makes me a little bit taller than him and I like the way he smiles as his eyes meet mine through his long lashes as he looks up at me.

"Hi," he says in a husky low tone, pressing his body against mine. "Brave move stealing me away like that. Confidence makes you sexy as hell."

Except my confidence level is below my knees right now and I try not to dwell on the fact my actions weren't an act of bravery, just stupidity and not thinking straight. I watch as his eyes flick back and forth between mine, his smile slightly fading as he searches them deeply. I've given myself away, I can feel it.

"Is everything okay, Jayde?" he whispers. "Was yesterday not as great as I thought it was?" He has a hint of worry in his features thinking that our most perfect day out wasn't something special to me.

"No, no, it was great, Harry," I smile. "And everything is-just kiss me."

Thankfully, after trying to read me once more with his eyes, he crashes his lips to mine, pressing his body harder against me. My fingers latch into his curls as his fingers dig into the skin of my hips. I wonder if he was able to find an answer before connecting himself with me. An answer I didn't give him again, that I'm hoping in this moment will change. That this will make everything inside of me okay and I will be able to say that I'm fine.

He wraps one of my legs around him, rubbing his fingers against me above my shorts. The pressure already making me forget my worries, turning all of my senses onto him in one swift touch. I love that this boy can flip a switch in me. I love that he can make me forget everything I need to and I love that he is willing to be what I need. Except he is so much more than that now. And I want to imagine that he knows that. I want to imagine he feels the same about me as I do him. Because just imagining it, is better than not feeling a damn thing at all.

Before I know it, his jeans are undone and he's wrapping a condom over his hard cock. His eyes are set on mine in seriousness. "I know I haven't told you in a while," he says, placing his hands on my bum. "But I think you're pretty." It makes me smile to hear this silly little compliment. "So pretty, my Sweet Girl."

He lifts me onto him, my shorts moved to the side, pressing my back hard against the wall as I slide down around him. I want to scream out in relief, but press my lips shut tight to keep quiet remembering where we are, a small moan escaping my lungs as I reattach our lips.

With my arms tightly around his neck holding him close to me, our connection is the escape I've been needing, focusing on the way he's pounding into me from below me. "You need to wear these shorts more often," he grunts quietly. "I love fucking you this way. I love easy access."

I love his need to talk to me while he gives into my needs, making every thrust feel deeper than the last, making my body more responsive to him than ever before. His words can bring me to climax faster as if each syllable that rolls off his tongue hits the target with just the right pressure.

"Why have we never-fucked against the wall before?" he asks. "Always willing to-be mine anywhere. How did I get so lucky?" As if he knows his words do things to me, he keeps going, his hips moving faster. "My Sweet Girl-is such a dirty girl, wanting to do it-in public. You're so perfect-So pretty-and perfect-and dirty."

I feel it in the pit on my stomach as I clench around him. My whole body tenses up and shakes above him as he presses his lips to mine to keep him from groaning as he twitches inside of me as he releases. I want to scream out to show him how good he makes me feel, instead press my lips tighter to his, biting down on his bottom lip trying to catch my breath.

As we come down from our highs, I look down at him still pressed against the wall. His eyes search mine again, flicking back and forth. "I think you're pretty, Jayde," he breathes out.

I let out a small laugh and shake my head at him. "I know you do." I lean down slightly to connect our lips together once more.

"No, I really do," he says. "I think you're really really pretty."

He helps me down off of him as he continues to go on about how pretty he thinks I am as we fix ourselves to try and look as decent as we did before walking in here. I can't help but smile at how cute he is flirting with me.

"Stay here," he tells me, pointing down at the stool, before turning the corner to throw the condom in the garbage. God, I hope no one finds that. Ew. He comes back with a smile still on his face, seeing I never moved in the two seconds he had disappeared.

He wraps his arms around me and picks me up off the stool. His lips meet mine again before he places me back on the floor and I want to stay in our little bubble just like yesterday. Because I am fully aware of how easily it can pop and I'm not ready for it to just yet. And so I keep my arms wrapped around him tightly, allowing for his tongue to play with mine for just a little while longer. Because here, I am happy. Here is where I am safe, where nothing can hurt me and nothing can go wrong.

"Should we go and sit down and pretend we're doing our assignment?" he asks as our lips part, making me sigh. "In case someone comes looking for us."

Without a word, we start to walk back through the maze of bookshelves and surprisingly I still feel happy even though our moment is over. I know I will be able to get through the rest of the day and be able to focus.

"Jayde," he says, placing his backpack on the table, making me look at him. "You know I think you're pretty and I know you use me for escapes, so I think you should tell me why you needed one this time."

A/N: Hey Lovies, sorry it took a little longer for this one. I've been extremely sick and haven't been able to focus. If any part of this chapter sucks, it's because the sickness wouldn't allow for it to be any better and I am truly sorry for that, especially because I really half-assed the smut...lol

Anyways, thanks for 70K Reads! ♥♥♥ Don't forget to press the star and leave a thought!!

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amberlove
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