"Just when I think I'm done....when I think I know how to feel, or how not to feel at all anymore, one thing happens and everything falls.

Truth is, I've been so caught up with trying not to feel anything anymore, seeing only the negative parts of her, thinking of how crazy she makes me, that I had forgotten just how amazing we can be together.

And for a few moments in time, I allowed myself to see her again. To really look at her. And the way that she was looking at me, brought back all the magic that we were once surrounded in. Her eyes told me things I never thought she was capable of feeling. And above all else, I could feel it.

One thing that I have learned, is that real love doesn't meet you when you're at your best. It meets you in the middle of your mess, and only then, when you realize she fell in love with you at your worst, she's the only one who deserves you at your best. And maybe I always knew that about her. That she'd be the only one who could do that, because she was just as big of a mess when I fell for her.

Boy_Undiscovered"

To say today was long would be an understatement. It started last night, when everything around me seemed to move in slow motion. And as I laid in bed staring at the clock, every time the number changed felt like hours. I tried to sleep, but every time I closed my eyes all I could see was visions of Harry. Each time, a moment of our time earlier in the evening replaying in my mind, making it hurt even more that he had run from me again.

But as the day passed today, I started to understand that I deserved his unexpected escape. I set rules for us in the beginning that were far too often broken, and he told Carter that if I was to give him another chance, he would actually abide by those rules, leaving his abrupt exit to make a little more sense. This small perception doesn't mean it hurts any less by any means, but I understand now that it really only hurt as much as it did, because I expected him to stay. My own thoughts and ideas and expectations of him and our relationship gave me false hopes, while he was finally living up to what I wanted in the beginning.

Despite my unknowing if this newfound information was true or not, the idea of it made me fall even harder for him. Except because it was just a theory inside of my head, I fought with myself when deciding if I could actually trust him.

A part of me wanted to run to him and tell him my feelings, like I had planned to do last night after we hooked up. But after seeing him escape me without a second thought, no matter how badly I wanted to believe that he was doing all of this because it was what he thought I wanted, I couldn't be certain if my mind was just playing tricks on me.

And so, I decide that keeping my mouth shut, is what I need to do.

Hearing my parents fighting downstairs as I climb into my bedroom window, surprises me. After it being silent since the day Dad gave me black eyes, I had hoped the worst was over. I had hoped that Dad had seen a new light on life after hurting me, and things would be good from now on. I realize now, that was always just wishful thinking. That I should know better than that by now. Because people like him don't change. He'll always be a monster.

Throwing my backpack on the floor, I let out a long breath, wondering how I possibly lived like this for as long as I did. I've only just got here and I'm already exhausted from listening to them fight again. I took for granted, the silence I had gotten for the last two weeks, foolishly thinking it would be there for a while.

I'm struggling to get comfortable. Unable to focus on anything before me. Pacing my room isn't helping what I'm hearing downstairs. My heart is pounding and I'm frustrated and I want it all to stop.

"Jayde!" I hear my Dad call from downstairs, anger evident in his voice, not trying to hide it this time. "Come down here please!"

Silence surrounds me and all I hear is the thumping of my heart in my ears. Visions of the last time he called me downstairs flow through my mind, and if he thinks I'm stupid enough to go down there after that, then he is even crazier than I thought.

He continues to talk, and I can tell his voice is getting closer to my room. I need to get out of here. I will not go through that again. Not after last night with Harry. I can't have another reason to let Harry go, and who knows what Dad could do to me this time.

I quickly grab as much stuff as I can and pack them into a backpack trying to be as quiet as I can so that he can't tell I'm here. When I hear a knock at my door, I scramble to the window carrying my two backpacks and throwing them onto the roof outside.

"I know you're in there Jayde," Dad says, as I climb out the window. "Open up!" I start to pull the window down slowly as to not make a sound. "I'd hate for you to not listen to me, Jayde. You don't want to suffer the consequences!"

I can hear him knocking louder as I shut the window completely. And as quickly as I can, I throw my backpacks to the ground and climb down the ladder. Without another thought, I pick up my belongings and start to run in the direction of safety. To where I need to be. To where I always should have been.

Harry's house.

I allow myself to catch my breath as I stand on his front porch. I know that this has little to do with Harry right now and everything to do with just about everything else in my life. It doesn't matter that he didn't stay last night. It doesn't matter that my expectations of him were wrong and our relationship isn't moving forward. All that matters is that I am safe. That I feel safe. And no matter what is going on with Harry and I, I know this is where I need to be.

And it's not that things with Harry and I are in a bad place right now. They are where they probably should be. I let my feelings get in the way of how things are supposed to be with us, and I understand now why we were never meant to have feelings for each other in the first place. I just need to remember that.

As I finally knock on the door, I fix my frizzy hair as much as possible in my reflection, waiting for the door to open. I realize at this moment that I hadn't thought of a plan. I hadn't come up with a lie or a story as to why I'm showing up like this. And I have no time to think of one by the time the door opens and Harry appears in front of me.

"Jayde?" Harry questions, staring at me confused. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" He looks down at the bags in my hands, understanding I'm here to stay again.

"I-uh-Is your mom home?" I stutter. "I need to talk to her."

Without a word, he takes my bags from my hands and allows for me to walk into his house. After he's placed my bags at the bottom of the stairs, I follow him down the hall and into the kitchen silently.

"Who was at the door, Harry?" Anne asks. I peer out from behind Harry, my eyes meeting hers. She smiles for a moment before it fades quickly. "Are you alright, Jayde?" she asks.

"I'm fine," I assure her. "I was just hoping to talk with you, if that's alright." I watch as relief fills her instantly as her smile returns to her face.

"I'll just-let you two-" Harry awkwardly waves his arms between his mom and I before he turns from us and walks down the hall, leaving me alone in the kitchen with his mom.

"I'm happy to see you're back," she tells me, as I sit on a stool at the island. "Are you here to stay this time? Did something happen?"

"No, nothing happened," I answer. "I was just wondering something."

Her eyebrows raise as she stares at me, nodding her head for me to continue. Knots fill up in my stomach as I look back at her. I shouldn't feel so nervous. I know that she will agree with my wanting to be here. In fact, I'm sure she'll be delighted with what I've just decided on.

"I was hoping you would let me stay here Thursdays to Sundays every week," I tell her quietly. "I know that it's a lot to ask, but it would just be for a few weeks. Until school is over. Maybe a couple weeks into the summer-"

"I think that's a fine idea," she interrupts with a smile. "But I have just one rule."

"Anything."

"No more lying."

I feel myself sink, knowing that she is going to question me on things that I don't want to talk about. But in all honesty, as hard as the truth is to get out sometimes, the truth is a small price to pay for my safety.

"Okay," I finally say. "No more lying."

She walks over to the other side of the island and wraps her arms around me from behind. "I'm glad you know you're welcome here any time," she says. "We are always happy to have you here."

"Thank you," I say, as she sits down next to me.

"Was there something that made you come here today?" she asks.

And there it is. She wants the truth. I look away from her down at my hands clasped together on the counter and take a breath. "My dad," I start. "He called me downstairs and I didn't want to go, so I left and came here."

"Why is that?" she asks quietly. I don't dare look at her. My heart is pounding and my hands are starting to sweat. Just let the truth out. She promised not to go back to my house. All she wants is the truth and I'm okay to stay here whenever I want to. No more lying.

"Because the last time," I shakily answer, just above a whisper.

"What happened the last time?" Her voice is so calm, so endearing, making it slightly easier to want to talk. She's showing me that it's okay to open up to her and I can be strong with her, despite all the doubts I have about it.

"He bashed my head against the banister." The words are out. I spoke the truth. I don't know how I feel about it, but tears well up in my eyes, making it hard to breathe. "I didn't want him to hurt me again. I didn't want to go through it again. Thank you for letting me stay here. Thank you for giving me a place I can feel safe."

She wraps her arms around me tightly and I can feel one of her tears fall onto my shoulder. Once again, this woman is showing me love and care that I'm so desperate for, and I can't thank her enough for that.

"Thank you for coming here," she says. "And thank you for trusting me."

**

I find myself standing in front of Harry's bedroom door, staring at it. After letting the truth out to his mother, despite the fact she already knew something of the sort happened with my dad, something in me shifted. And it isn't that I want to tell Harry the truth about why I'm here, or the feelings that I have for him, it's just that I want to be with him. To be near him and to feel that I have him, no matter how far away we are with any sort of validation of what's going on with us right now.

Yes, he left without a warning last night, and no, I don't know the reason why, but despite all of that, I know I still need him. My feelings for him didn't change and I don't think I want an answer as to why he ran, so without another thought, I open his bedroom door carrying my backpacks with me and walk up the few stairs, hearing music coming from his laptop.

To my surprise, he is laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling, his arm shoved in behind his head. The light from the window pours in on him, making him look even more attractive. He only turns his head in my direction when I place my bags on the floor. His expression doesn't change from the thoughtful look he had in his eyes before he noticed my presence, and I can't help but wonder what he's thinking seeing me standing here.

I move across the room to him, keeping eye contact with him. I hope he doesn't think that I'm about to make a move to have sex with him, because that's not what I'm here for. Before he can move, before he has a chance to do anything, I sit myself down on his bed, and slowly adjust myself to lay my head down on his chest, wrapping one of my arms around his torso.

Listening to his heartbeat in his chest calms me and I let out a long sigh of relief when he places his hand on my back. The feeling of his hand on me, comforts me and gives me reason to believe that I am safer here than I thought.

We lay in silence for what feels like a long time, soaking in his closeness to me, feeling his hand glide up and down my back slowly. I never want to move. I want to stay in this comfortable silent bubble and never leave. In this bubble, we aren't fighting, there's no hurtful words being said and laying against his chest, taking in every single one of his heart beats, makes this moment, the closest I have ever felt to him.

When his heart beat starts to pick up the pace a bit, I can sense that something is about to change. I fear for the moment that this ends, not knowing what's going to happen, and I move myself to face him, pressing my other ear to his chest.

"So, you're staying?" he asks quietly, looking over at my bags briefly before looking down at me.

"Is that okay with you?" I ask.

"Yeah, it's fine by me," he tells me with a slight smile.

"Good, get used to it," I smile back. "Because your mom just agreed to let me stay here every Thursday to Sunday for the next couple of weeks."

"Did something happen?" he asks quickly, propping himself up on his elbow to have a better look at me. "I thought your parents weren't fighting anymore?"

I sit up and cross my legs, looking down at my hands and picking at my nails, letting out a long breath. I hate that I can't hear his heart beat anymore. I want to be touching him, and I feel too far away. Why did he have to move and make my place on him uncomfortable? "Well, they are again," I finally say. "After things changed-after I got a glimpse at what a real family is like, I don't want to listen to them anymore. I know it's not fair for me to take advantage of your mom's kindness, but I really can't be there anymore."

"You should just move in here full time," he jokes. I can sense he's trying to lighten the mood, seeing his dimples pressed into his cheeks. It makes me smile, feeling all that much better about being here.

He is such a light in my life. I am more than lucky to have him. I may not be his and him, not mine, and I know the future will tear us apart when we must go our separate ways, but for now, I won't take for granted that he's looking into my eyes as if I'm the only girl in the world he wants to be with.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" I ask, not wanting to be alone. I want to feel his arms wrapped around me, where I can be safe. Where I know nothing will ever hurt me.

A/N: I'm so sorry for the long wait for this update. I really hope that it was worth it!

There won't be too many more chapters left in this book. Maybe 10 at the most, before I start up the sequel, Legitimately Us ♥

If you haven't already heard, I am going to be a part of The Winter Edition of The Wattpad Block Party this coming February! So make sure to add the book to your Libraries so you don't miss all the great author's posts. You can find it on KellyAnneBlount 's profile.

My post will be a Harry POV for Legitimately Me, that I don't think you will want to miss out on! I know that a lot of you have been wanting a Harry POV for this book, and I have heard you and granted your wishes! ☺ You will find my name in the list on chapter 2! Go express how excited you are and leave a comment!

Thanks so much for 62.K Reads! Don't forget to press the star!

Much Love,
amberlove

xo