"He is where the darkness in me meets the light. And no matter what, the light will never win over darkness. For the darkness is heavier. Stronger. More concrete. No matter how much he tries to push the darkness away, as he makes his way in with the light, the darkness easily shoves him back out. Away from me. Taking my escapes and everything I need with him.

Reality slapped me in the face. Or something much worse. Because I now see the darkness upon the face in my reflection. It's not just rips and tears on the inside. It's written on my mask, unable to hide the truth from anyone. The mask, discolored, shows the brokenness deep within me. No one needs to look me in the eyes now to see into my soul. The darkness is there, for all the world to see the truth inside of me."

Girl_Disconnected"

Nothing has felt more uncomfortable than this day has been. It's only been two hours since I walked into the store and was met by the horrified eyes of Tenley who's jaw was dropped a few inches. I knew the make up on my face wasn't enough to hide the dreadful purplish blue around my eyes and I contemplated calling in sick. But I actually like this job and I didn't want to look bad after only working here for three days.

It's a good thing Tenley doesn't know me very well, because when she wasn't able to hide her curiosity about what happened to me, I was able to effortlessly lie and say I fell down the ladder to my bedroom and the conversation quickly changed to how great she thought a ladder to my room was, and how it's the best idea anyone has ever had.

The looks I got from customers poured shame through me. Embarrassment at its finest, that I'd even show up looking like this, as they looked me in the eyes with frightened yet investigative gazes. I could feel each and every single one of them judging me inside their mind and it was clear they were all thinking the same thing—The truth.

On Saturdays, I have the fun task of learning what to do with the new books we receive on Fridays and where to place them around the store. I couldn't have asked for an easier job, and I quite like that even though I'm not a fan of Niall at the moment, I sure am happy that this is the job he got me.

That is until wise green eyes meet mine as I'm placing new books in the front window. The book I'm holding falls to the ground as she walks in, the bell dinging against the glass. I can hear Tenley say good morning to her, muffled by the sound of my heart beat echoing through my ears.

"Jayde?"

"Oh yeah!" Tenley pipes up cheerfully. "I forgot to tell you, Jayde. The owner's coming in to meet you today."

It all clicks. Tenley had mentioned Anne previously, but I hadn't thought for one second it could be Harry's mom. And here, she stands in front of me, staring at me, seeing my discolored face, with the same inquisitive look as the customers did. And I wish I knew how to feel at the moment. I wish I knew if I should be mad or upset at the fact she had come to my house, because all wrapped into one, my emotions are erupting with both love and hatred for the woman standing before me.

Anne clears her throat as she finally breaks eye contact, looking back and forth between her two employees. "Why didn't you tell me you worked here?" she finally asks. "Does Harry know?"

"You know Harry?" Tenley asks as her eyes widen.

"I — I didn't know you owned this place," I finally say, stepping out of the front window display.

She smiles at me a closed mouth smile. I can tell it's fake as her eyes don't shine the way they usually do. "The Twist—ed Corner," she says. "My last name is Twist. Brilliant, yeah?"

Tenley laughs. "She loves telling that story, as if it's so clever."

"Well, at least Harry loved it," Anne says, rummaging through her purse. "I'll be in my office. Jayde, I'll call you in, in a bit, and we can go over your paper work."

I watch as she walks through the store to the back, unlocking her office and closes the door behind her. I let out a long breath unsure of how I feel about this situation. This job was meant to be the place I had to go, to get away from life. And life just walked in, saw the truth and there was no getting away from it now.

"So," Tenley smiles. "You know Harry?"

"Yeah," I answer, walking over to the counter she is sitting behind. "You know him too?"

"I've known him forever," she answers. "He works here on Sundays sometimes. We used to be —good friends."

My stomach tightens as my eyes widen. I all of a sudden feel sick. My two worlds colliding even more than it had just a few minutes ago as I take in the fact that Harry works here also. My hatred for Niall suddenly grows for getting me this job, as if he knew something all along. But the way she just answered has me curious and I can't help myself but to ask a few questions. "You were good friends?" I ask. "As in, you're not anymore?"

"We are," she answers. Her eyes flick around the room, it's clear she's in her head, reminiscing and I wait for her to keep talking. "But ya know, shit happens and changes things, unfortunately."

"Were you guys—like—a thing—or something?" I ask slowly, unsure of why I asked such a thing.

She laughs as she looks at me with her bright blue eyes. "No, honey, I'm a lesbian. Sure you knew that already," she says. "Why do you think I hired you on the spot?"

I stare at her, unsure of what to say. I hadn't had a clue and feel stupid for asking if she had a thing with Harry before. I should have known she didn't either way, forgetting for a moment that he was never a fuckboy to begin with. "You know that I'm not — "

She laughs again, cutting me off. "A lesbian?" she asks. "Oh, I knew you weren't. But you're nice to look at. Anyways, so Anne knows you because you know Harry?"

She's looking at me curiously. I feel my head wanting to explode, the name Harry being said far too much for one day. I don't want to talk about him, or think about him. and yet, once again, somehow I can't get away from him. "Yeah, we go to the same school. We're — friends, I guess."

"Friends —" She smiles a devious smile. "One thing you should know, Jayde. I've known Anne and Harry since they first moved here. If Anne knows you because of Harry, I know you're not just friends."

I raise my eyebrows at her as I gulp. I thought this day was bad enough and now Tenley is looking at me as if she knows all my secrets. "Well, we were friends," I finally say. "I'm not sure if we are anymore. Things are kind of — "

"Complicated?" she asks, making me nod. "Trust me, Jayde. If he's the same guy you had boy issues with the first day you walked in here — he's a great guy, but I will tell you that he will always have his mind set elsewhere."

"What do you mean?"

"He was with my best friend for years," she explains. And I know right away who she is talking about, but I don't want her to know I know anything. "Julia used the word complicated when it came to their relationship thousands of times. Don't get me wrong, when he is present, he is the best boyfriend, but —"

"Oh, he was never my boyfriend," I interrupt.

"That's because his mind will always be set on someone else," she says. "Look. I know Harry. I know that he never introduces just any girl to his mom. If you know Anne already, I know there's something going on. I'm not stupid. I just want to warn you, that with him, it won't always be you."

"Jayde?" Anne calls from the back of the store, making us both look towards her. I don't know which conversation I'd rather have. One about Harry that I don't really want to be a part of, or the one with Anne that I'm about to have, where I know my lie won't be as believable as it was with Tenley. I'm reluctant to walk to the back of the store, moving slowly, looking back towards that girl who has me wondering if letting go of Harry, might have actually been a good idea.

I walk passed Anne into her office, the one room that has always been locked every time I've been here. There are pictures of her and Harry hanging on the grey wall, along with a couple of Robin. If only I had been in here prior to this morning, I would have known to run from this job a few days ago.

She asks me to take a seat on the opposite side of her big oak desk and it's only as I sit down on the chair do I allow for my eyes to meet hers. She looks back with a sadness in her features and suddenly tension fills the small square room. Why can't there be a window in here I can prop open?

"I'm going to take a moment and pretend I'm not your boss," she finally says, after letting out a long breath and leans back in her big black desk chair. "You and I — we have what I think is a good relationship. So, before I become your boss, we're still just friends, okay?"

I nod my head slowly, knowing we're going to have a conversation unrelated to this job, my heart pounding hard in my chest making me feel slightly nauseous.

"What happened to your face?" she asks gently. The woman I loved instantly shines through. The caring motherly figure who became what I needed so quickly is sitting in front of me, wanting me to pour the truth out to her. But I can't help but think that she's the reason my face looks the way it does, and as much as I know that what she tried to do was for the greater good, the part of me I so badly never want to listen to, is winning at the moment.

"I fell down the ladder to my bedroom," I tell her, just as I told Tenley, making sure to keep eye contact to make myself more believable.

"You have a ladder to your bedroom?" she asks. Her eyebrows don't move up in excitement like Tenley's did. Instead they furrow at me. "Why would you have a ladder to your bedroom, dear?"

"Don't think of it as something strange or anything," I say with a smile. "My best friend next door has one too. They've been there since we were kids. An easy escape route for when you're a kid and want to go to your best friend's house. It was the closest thing we had to a tree fort. We were never cool enough for one of those. So we had ladders, and we still use them."

She looks at me curiously. What I said about the ladder wasn't a lie. Just the part of falling down it was. I'm hoping she'll believe me and we can move on from this conversation as easily as it was with Tenley.

"I stopped by your house last week," she says. I can tell she is keeping herself calm through all of this. Her voice not swaggering from her sensitive tone. "Did your mom tell you?"

I gulp looking down at my hands clasped in my lap. By now they've started to sweat and I'm just happy she's on the other side of her desk and she can't tell how hot I am with nerves. I look back up at her quickly, not wanting her to see how uneasy I feel. "It was mentioned," I answer.

"I want you to know I was just trying to help," she says.

"I know."

"No," she goes on. "That life is not a good way to live. I think you're an amazing girl. You don't deserve to live in a house with such hostility. Your mother either. Your Mom was about to agree with me when your father came home and kicked me out."

"I'm sorry about that," I tell her quietly. "I hope he wasn't rude to you."

"Do not apologize on behalf of your father, Jayde," she says, finally raising her voice. "That man does not deserve your defense or justification." She clears her throat, shaking her anger out. "Now, dear," she goes on gently. "What really happened to your face?"

"I told you what happened," I tell her. "I don't know what you're wanting me to say, but —"

"I want you to tell me the truth," she says.

I stand from my chair, unable to stop my emotions from switching. "I am telling you the truth!" I yell. "And you want to know what I want? For you to stop questioning me!" I start to walk towards the door and turn to look at her. "And please, don't go back to my house again. Ever!"

My hand reaches for the knob, but before I can even turn it, Anne is standing behind me, her hand on top of mine, stopping me from leaving the room. Her warm hand makes all the rage inside of me crumble and I instantly feel like I can breathe again. 

"I promise never to go to your house again," she says quietly. "And I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I just want you to know that I'm here. You can trust me. You can trust Harry."

I spin myself around to look at her. "Trust Harry?" I ask. "I can't trust Harry. He went and told you something he wasn't even supposed to know. I can't trust him."

"He was just worried about you," she explains.

"If it's alright, I'd like to go home now," I tell her. I don't want to talk about Harry and I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to look her in the eyes knowing that she knows I'm lying. Every part of me wants to break down again. I just want to be alone, lay in bed and forget the world surrounding me exists.

"I'll drive you," she says. 

Before I can decline her offer, she is grabbing her purse from behind her desk and taking her car keys out of it. She looks me in the eyes as she opens the door, the empathetic look still written on her face.

The drive to my house is quiet. The light rain hitting the windows and the squeaking of the windshield wipers drowning out the thoughts in my head. I don't really want to go back home knowing my parents are there. And despite it being easy to stay away from them, the thought of what happened the other day could easily happen again, makes me nervous.

The comfort of my bedroom is not what it used to be now. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around my own space, trying to keep even more quiet than usual, in hopes that Dad doesn't realize I'm there. Knowing that he has no problem to use me as his punching bag now when he gets angry, changed everything.

As Anne pulls the car into my driveway, I stare at my home. With the gloominess Mother Nature has brought us once more, the sight before me looks in an even worse state than usual. I'm surprised she brought me back here after not believing me to begin with.

"Do you really want to go home, love?" she asks, making me look over at her.

"No," I answer honestly, after looking back out the window.

She lets out a long sigh of relief, as if my honesty was music to her ears. "Good. Because I did not want to bring you here. But you're an adult and I can't tell you what to do. I have to let you make your own decisions, whether I think they're right or wrong."

"And you think me going home would be the wrong choice?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Why?"

She starts to back out of the driveway and looks over at me when she's in the street. "Because as much as you want me to believe your ladder story, I know that look in your eyes much more than I'd like to admit. You're trying to hide behind a truth much darker than even you, yourself can probably understand, and I don't want you to feel that way. So — you're coming home with me."

A/N: Apologies, once again, for how long this took me to write. Hope it was worth the wait.

Much Love,
amberlove
xo