A lot of things have changed, but one thing that I know never will, is my friendship with Carter. And it's strange to think that over the past few months I haven't had to go to him for anything because I've had Harry. And I know that in a sense I have missed him, but nothing — even the fact that what Carter and I had was very special to me — nothing could ever beat what Harry and I had, and I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with letting him go.

I don't hesitate to walk over to Carter's and climb the ladder to the roof outside his bedroom window. I don't wait to stop crying. I don't wait for my head to stop pounding or give myself any time to breathe. And part of me wishes I had thought more about it before coming here, because as I peek inside his bedroom window, I see that Layla is there with him.

I lean back against the wall beside his window, wiping my face of tears deciding what to do next as I try to breathe through my silent sobs.

To: Carter
>> I need to talk to you.

From: Carter
>> I'm busy with Layla. How about later?

To: Carter
>> How about now? Send her home please.

From: Carter
>> I can't just send her home, Jayde.

To: Carter
>>It's an SOS Carter. I'm on the roof outside your window. Send her home....please?

I wait for what feels like forever, listening to muffled voices in his bedroom before it goes quiet. A few moments later, his window is opening and he pokes his head out to look at me.

"Bloody hell," he says. "Get in here."

He helps me through his window and takes a good look at me as I stare at the ground, allowing my hair to cover my face as much as possible. I'm trying not to cry, but the tears are still falling and knowing he's looking at me, shock written on his face, makes standing before him an even harder task than it ever has been.

"Was it him?" he finally asks quietly, taking a step towards me. "Was it your Dad?"

I don't dare look at him as I nod my head slowly. Silent sobs come from deep within me, making every nerve in my body tremble. I'm waiting for him to yell at me. To tell me that I should have left when he told me to, or done something before something bad happened. But to my surprise, he doesn't yell at me. He takes another step closer to me, and wraps his arms around me, engulfing me in a tight embrace. An embrace I know I need more than anything.

He lets me hug him until the tears have stopped and all that's left are small sniffles. "I'm going to get you something to put on that," he says when he looks at me, swiping his finger gently across my face.

I watch as he walks out of the room and I sit down at the end of his bed, looking around at the space that used to be my refuge. And for the first time in my life, I realize I don't feel as comfortable here as I used to. I try to push the thought from my mind, because I know I don't have anywhere else to go right now, and this is where I need to be.

Carter walks in with a bag of frozen vegetables and hands it to me. He furrows his eyebrows as he kneels down in front of me. "How did this happen?" he asks.

I place the cold bag against my face, sheltering my eyes from being able to look back at him. The cold feels good on my burning eyes and I allow it to soak into my hot skin. I don't want to answer him. I let out a long breath knowing that he won't let me get away without talking in this situation. "Harry's Mom came to my house to try and convince my Mom to take me away from there," I say quietly.

"Harry knows?" he asks. 

"He made me stay at their house on the weekend," I answer. "He doesn't know everything. Just a small portion of it, I think. He must have told his Mom. I don't know. Anyways, his Mom coming to my house pissed my Dad off —obviously."

"Christ, Jayde," he breathes out. "You need to get out of there. I don't give two shits where you go. You are stupid for staying there."

"I know," I agree. "After graduation, I'm leaving."

"I can't believe you," he raises his voice, using my knees to push himself up to a standing position. "How can you stay there still? After this? What is wrong with you?"

"It won't happen again, Carter," I argue back.

"You are so naive to think he won't do it again," he yells. "Stop being stupid and listen to me for once."

"Carter," I say, taking the the frozen bag from my face, to see that he is pacing back and forth in front of me. "I need you right now to be my friend. I need you to be on my side and not yell at me. My head is pounding and I just need some time to breathe. Please don't yell at me."

He stops pacing and looks at me, letting out a long sigh as I watch his shoulders slump. "You're right, I'm sorry. I just wish you weren't so damn stubborn."

As time passes and the more Carter and I talk, the more comfortable I feel, allowing for everything to go back to the way it used to be with us. Every so often he leaves the room, taking the frozen bag with him and comes back with a new one for me. The swelling of the goose egg on my forehead has deflated slightly with the ice, but the color around my eyes has gotten darker, more apparent, and I know that I'll just have to be patient to allow my skin to go back to normal over time.

He has gone from arguing with me, to understanding and agreeing with me over and over again, not a dull moment passing with our conversations about Dad. And now we're on the topic of Harry again. We've already passed the explanation of what was going on with us, but for some reason he's back to questioning me about it, and as happy as I was that I was finally able to talk about Harry with someone, I could go without it right now.

"I don't understand why you would tell him it's over," he says. "Who cares if you know he likes you? So far it sounds like he's been exactly what you need. I don't think you should end it just because he has feelings or because you don't want him to see you this way. Those black eyes aren't going to be there forever, and you're going to wish you still had him when they're gone. Stop pushing people away. I think you should rethink this through."

I know that he is right, but I don't say anything. I simply take the frozen bag of peas from my face and get up off the bed, turning to look at him. "Can I stay here tonight?" I ask.

"Stay as long as you like," he tells me, a smile forming on his face. "You're safe here."

"Thanks," I reply, walking over to his dresser and pulling out flannel pants and a t-shirt to wear to bed. "I'm tired, so I think I'm just going to go to sleep now."

*

The morning light is coming in through the window as I listen to the birds chirp outside, still with my eyes closed. The memory of yesterday has already filtered through my mind, making me wish I could be as happy as those birds sound just outside the window. But I'm not. And I'm afraid to open my eyes knowing that when I do, it all becomes reality again. I want to go back to sleep. Back to the land of dreams, where things with Harry are back to the way they were. Escaping reality in ways that made reality not such a burden anymore.

Hearing the door to Carter's room open and close again, makes my eyes open and turn over to see that he is up and ready for school already. 

"I'm guessing you're not going to school today?" he asks, laying down beside me. His eyes are especially blue in the morning light. It was always my favorite time of day with him, because of this reason. It may seem silly, but when you get to look into eyes the color of the bluest sky, it's easy to feel like you're home, in that comfortable place you're meant to be in. Except looking at him right now, I don't feel that way this time. I don't feel like I'm home. I'm consumed in the realization that looking into blue eyes makes me miss eyes the color of the forest, the easiest eyes to get lost in, as I'm sure all the greatest forests would be.

"No," I yawn, covering my mouth. "I'm not going to school until this is gone from my face."

"Don't miss too much," he says. "Just give it the weekend and make up should do the trick by Monday. I'll get your homework for you today."

"Just don't tell anyone," I say in a panic as I sit up. "Some people might ask you if you know where I am. Can you tell them I'm sick or something?"

He sits up, keeping his eyes focused intensely on me. "Just because you put your trust in someone else and it ended up hurting you, doesn't mean you can't ever trust me, Jayde," he tells me, earnestly. "I have always done what you wanted; Always kept your secrets. Never has anything ever backfired. I'm always on your side, enough to know I'm stupid for doing it sometimes. So please don't question me or think that I'd ever tell anyone. You know you can trust me."

I smile at him, knowing how serious he is. His trust has never faltered and I know I shouldn't worry that this time would be any different. I sit up on my knees, leaning into him to wrap my arms around him and a sense of relief fills me up as he wraps his arms tightly around my back. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you next year," I mumble.

"You can always come visit me on your adventures," he suggests, making me smile.

"Nothing would make me happier!"

**

I sat in my shower long enough for the water to run cold, my thoughts dispersing as I made a quick exit. I had tried to sleep the day away, but my mind wouldn't shut off and my phone kept annoying me with text messages from Kate and Carter and a few from Harry. I was slightly reluctant to respond, but I knew I had to, or the messages would keep coming through. 

Kate was easy to persuade into thinking I was sick. Harry, on the other hand, didn't believe it for one second. He somehow knows me better than that. And just like I knew, Carter text me when Harry stopped him in the hallway to ask him if he had seen me and if he knew where I was, after I had already told him I was sick. Luckily, Carter kept his promise, just like he said he would and kept Harry in the dark about what happened at my house yesterday.

As I'm staring at myself in the mirror, brushing the tangles out of my wet hair, my phone dings a sound I haven't heard in a while. The sound of a notification that someone has messaged me on my blog.

Boy_Undiscovered: Washington.

I stare at the screen with wide eyes, as I put my hair brush down on the counter and walk into my bedroom to sit down on my bed. Washington?

Girl_Disconnected: What about Washington?

Boy_Undiscovered: Seattle.

Girl_Disconnected: Is that where you're from?

Boy_Undiscovered: Not far from there.

Girl_Disconnected: Why are you telling me this?

Boy_Undiscovered: I feel like we know each other pretty well. We can trust each other. It's hard to find people you feel like you have a connection with, like I feel like I do with you. You trust me, right?

I stare at the screen again, sitting back against the wall. Do I trust him? As much as I love the words that he writes, clear that the way he writes about a girl, the way he describes his feelings in a way that not many do, has always drawn me to him. I have never cared that the words I have read were not written about me, but the fact someone can feel such a way about someone, has always made it easy to fall into his story. As if his story wasn't real —as if I was reading some made up book told by a great romance novelist, who made you fall in love with the characters he created.

But I know that he is like me in a way. He's been through some of the things I have been through. And he knows me. He knows my secrets, and to know that, and to keep writing, allowing for him to read my thoughts, must be a clear indication that I already know this answer.

Girl_Disconnected: Washington. Seattle. Not far from the city.

Boy_Undiscovered: Is that your way of telling me you trust me?

Girl_Disconnected: Yes.

Boy_Undiscovered: What town?

Girl_Disconnected: I don't trust you THAT much. My town is small, remember?

Boy_Undiscovered: Okay, understandable. At least I know now that you're closer to me than I thought. What's your name?

Girl_Disconnected: I don't want to share that. And I don't want to know yours. I like that we can be a mystery to each other, even if it's just a little. You already know so much about me. More than the average person in my life. No names. Ever.

Boy_Undiscovered: Okay, deal. I like mystery. Can I ask you something?

Girl_Disconnected: As long as it doesn't involve who I am or my address, sure.

Boy_Undiscovered: If you read my last blog post, you know that I told the girl I write about, that I like her and it pushed her away. Do you think I should just leave her alone or should I keep trying?

Once again, I stare at the screen, trying to decide how to answer. I did find it odd that we were going through similar situations at the same time, but realize at the moment, it's just something else that we can relate to each other with. I try to put myself in a normal girl's shoes and wonder what this girl would want, knowing she's more than likely not going through something like I am.

Girl_Disconnected: Leave her be for a while. Let her realize what she's lost. If she doesn't come back, she was never worth it to begin with. But trust what you have with her. If she has any sort of feelings in return, she'll be back in no time. Sometimes girls just need some time to think. If you've made any sort of impression on her, which I'm sure you have, I don't think you need to worry.

Girl_Disconnected: In my opinion, she'd be stupid to let you go. Sometimes I think you would be a dream come true. She's lucky to have you. She'll be back. I know she will.

Girl_Disconnected: And if she doesn't...like I said, she wasn't worth it.

There's a knock at my window and I turn to see that Carter is looking in at me through the glass. He opens it as I put my phone down on my nightstand and I watch as he crawls in. "Wow, it's been a long time since I've been here." He smiles as he looks around the room. "Everything looks different."

He drops his backpack to the floor and bends down as he unzips it open, taking out what I'm guessing is my homework. "Thanks," I tell him.

"Ya know, Harry is hard to lie to," he tells me, standing back up and handing me a few papers. "He really didn't believe that I hadn't seen you."

"He's a lot smarter than he lets on," I tell him. "He probably knows something's up."

"He wanted me to tell you something, actually." Carter looks at me, his eyebrows raised. The room feels eerily silent as I look back at him, waiting for him to tell me what this message is.

"Well?" I finally ask.

"He said to tell you to give him another chance," he finally says. "He'll abide by the rules this time."

A/N: Thanks for being patient with me. Life has been busy. Sorry it's a little shorter than usual, but hope you enjoyed it either way!

How is everyone doing? I miss you Lovies!

Much Love,
amberlove
xo