I made sure to wait a little while before climbing into the shower, making sure the window was open and turning on the twinkle lights strung around the head of my bed, tidying up the clothes I had thrown off before my nap and making sure my room was presentable, unsure if Harry was serious about wanting to join me or not. I have never had a shower with someone before, but the thought of it sounds quite sexy. I liked the idea of it, and was hoping that he would show up before the water ran cold.

Just before I decided to get in, he text me saying he was on his way and I hurried to wash and shave every area possible before he would show up. Sometimes it's hard work being a girl, having to look all nice for a boy, but I know in the end, it's worth it.

When I hear my bathroom door open and then close again, I put the razor down and quickly run my head under the water. My heart is pounding out of my chest, I feel so nervous doing something I have never done before. Harry has seen me naked, but for some reason, I feel like this is so much different.

"I—um, is it okay that I join you?" Harry asks after a few minutes, from the other side of the black curtain.

I peek my head out of the curtain, to see Harry leaning against the counter in his grey boxers. He stares at me with wide eyes, looking as if he's unsure of something. "I thought that was your plan?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

When he smiles, his whole demeanor relaxes, making me smile with him, as I put my hand out for him to take. I watch as he tugs his boxers down his legs with his free hand as he grabs onto mine with the other, and I pull him into the shower with me once his boxers hit the floor.

He pushes my body back up against the cold tiled wall, his body pressing tightly against mine as his eyes flick up and down between my eyes and my lips. His chest moves up and down as he breathes heavily. "Have you ever—?" he whispers.

"No. You?"

"No."

His lips curve up into a small smile, before he leans in closer to me, one hand pressed against the wall above my head and the other wrapped around my lower back, bringing me in as close to him as possible, as he plants his lips on mine with force. Instantly, my arms wrap around his body, breathing in all that he is. Taking in his tongue playing with mine, losing myself in his hands on me and loving the smoothness of his back under the running hot water.

The fact that he has never showered with another girl seems to calm me. Makes me feel less uncomfortable in the skin I'm in. This is new to both of us, experiencing something for the first time together, and that seems to be all I need to slip into the escape he is so easily giving to me.

He moves his head under the rushing water, and watching the water pour down him does something to me. The way he opens his mouth slightly as he puts his hands through his hair. The way it makes the tattoos on his body glimmer in the wetness, his abs looks more toned. I have never seen anything more sexy this close to me and I have to touch him. He grabs my shampoo bottle from the side of the tub and lathers it into his hair, before getting more and doing the same to mine. And with lathered soapy hands, he pushes me back against the wall again, taking my breasts into his hands as he bites down on my bottom lip.

His soapy hands on me feels silky smooth, and his wet lips glide over mine with ease. He always knows how to touch me, how to kiss me, to make me want all of him instantly. His hand glides down my body as he squeezed my breast with the other, tweaking my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, making me let out a soft moan.

"You're so fucking sexy," he breathes out, removing his lips from mine and pressing them to my neck. His tongue swirls along my skin down to my collarbone as I squeeze his bum, bringing  him closer to me, feeling the hardness of him against my stomach.

I spin him around so he is leaning against the wall, as I take his dick in my hand. His eyes lock with mine, his whole chest moves up and down with every breath he takes. As I start to kiss my way down his chest, my hand glides a slow pace up and down his shaft, keeping my eyes on him as I go lower. I can see it in his eyes as he looks down at me, that he is eager with anticipation for my mouth to form around his cock. And I am excited to see the look on his face as I pleasure him.

But before my mouth can reach its destination, he pulls me up. "No," he says. I can tell he is fighting with himself on this as he scrunches up his face, leaning his head back, still breathing heavy.

"What?"

"I'm here to make you feel good," he says, turning me away from him. He wraps his arms around my stomach, making me sink into his body, as he leaves small kisses on my shoulder, leaving a trail up to my neck, just below my ear. "I came here for you," he whispers. "As hot as it would be to see you suck my dick, I didn't come here for that."

With his hand, he spreads my legs and hastily enters a finger into me, making me moan with his touch, as I lean my head back against his chest.

"I came here to hear you scream my name," he says. His words turn me on even more, as my arms fly up to hold around his neck and play with his wet curls. He presses his fingers against my clit, circling with just the right pressure, before sticking two fingers inside of me and pressing his thumb against me.

I can feel the water starting to run cold over me, and I don't want the moment that just started, to end. But I know it will be over in a matter of minutes, because the water is going to be ice in no time. "Harry," I say.

"That's my sweet girl," he says. 

"No, Harry, the hot water is running out," I tell him.

"Fuck."

"Just get the shampoo out of your hair so we can get out," I tell him, moving myself away from him. But he moves my body under the water for me to go first. He has an annoyed look on his face when I'm done, which only makes me giggle and lean up to kiss him. "Don't worry, we'll get back to it in a minute."

I step out as he starts to rinse his hair, grabbing my towel and drying myself quickly, before running a brush through my tangles. When he turns the shower off, I hand him another towel through the side of the curtain. "I'll be in bed, waiting for you."

"Fuck Jayde, you're killing me here," I hear him say when I leave the bathroom.

Before climbing onto my bed, I squeeze the wetness out of my hair into the towel and make sure I'm completely dry, and lay down on my back under the covers to wait for him.

I don't have to wait long for him to walk out of the bathroom completely naked, holding his towel in his hand as he dries his hair with it. I watch as he throws the towel on the floor and stands at the end of my bed with a smirk on his face. Before I know it, he's pulling the blanket off my bed in one swift move, leaving my naked body visible to the world.

He crawls onto the bed slowly, keeping his eyes locked with mine as he takes my leg into his hand. "I told you I was going to kiss you from head to toe," he smiles. "Although, I don't really like toes, so I hope the ankle will do."

I let out a small laugh, as he presses his lips lightly to my ankle as he said he would, and lay my head back to enjoy what he apparently came here for. I'm not going to deny that I haven't been waiting for this, because this is exactly what I need. His willingness to give me escapes, makes every second I'm with him even more worth it than I ever could have imagined.

As his lips move higher up my thigh, the anticipation grows inside of me. I want him to touch me. I want to feel his tongue on my clit. I want to scream out his name like he said he wanted to hear, because just like he's giving into my desires, I'll be giving into his, for saying what I know he wants to hear, the only name I want to say out loud.

He spreads my legs wider as he lays on his stomach on the bed before me. And the second his tongue hits my clit, the warmth I have been dying to feel, sends my whole body into a euphoric state, where I'm instantly with the stars. When he presses his fingers inside of me and curls them slightly, flicking his tongue against me and circling, I know I won't last long, and let out a few breathy moans, unable to stop them from passing through my lips.

He sucks my clit between his lips, moving his fingers inside of me hitting just the right spot. With his free hand, he grabs onto my breast and squeezes, making every nerve in my body feel like it's on fire. "Oh my God, Harry," I moan. "Right there, I'm so close."

He flicks his tongue against my clit, swirls it around with slight pressure. He starts to moan against me, the vibrations only making me tighten even faster. My legs start to shake as his tongue continues his assault on me.

I scream his name as I reach my high, as he keeps his mouth on me. My heart is pounding in my chest and I'm breathing heavy and all I see is stars around me. I can feel his body shift on the bed, but I can't open my eyes. He presses his lips to my pelvic bone before moving his tongue over to my belly button and whirls around it, making my abdomen twitch. He briskly kisses up my stomach, when I'm finally able to open my eyes to look at him.

He lays his body on top of mine. "How did that feel?" he asks. He already has a smile on his face, knowing he did good. I don't know why he has to ask. But I know he wouldn't have asked, if he didn't want an answer.

"Incredible," I smile back at him, as he sucks my nipple between his lips. He moves to kiss between my breasts as he makes his way up to meet my lips, kissing my neck and jaw on the way, as he digs his fingers into my hip.

He props himself up with his arms as he kisses my nose, making me scrunch up my face and laugh. I watch as he smiles while looking back at me, before he presses his lips to my forehead for a few moments. "Now I can say I've kissed you from head to toe."

"I'm impressed," I laugh.

He doesn't move as his eyes flick back and forth between mine, and there's no question about it, I can feel that he is losing himself in me just as I'm losing myself in him. At the moment, I don't care if he is staring into my soul, finding out all my secrets, because as I look into his eyes, I can see that there is something in him that's broken and he's showing me he needs me far more than I ever thought.

He leans down to kiss me as I spread my legs farther, aligning his dick with me. "You don't need to use a condom," I tell him, quietly.

"Really?" he asks. "But what about—?"

"Just do it before I change my mind."

He smiles as he lets out a breath, and then kisses me with force as he props himself up on his elbows. He doesn't wait another second to slide himself into me, keeping his eyes on mine. His mouth falls open as he starts to rock his hips into mine. "Holy shit, I'm not going to last very long," he breathes out, making me smile. "You feel so good."

"That's okay," I tell him, pulling his body closer to mine. "I already got off, remember? This is for you."

He laughs, shaking his head at me. "It's going to be worse than being a virgin, Jayde." His facial expression changes to that of one really concerned boy on top of me. "I've never done it without a condom. If I move, I'm going to come."

"You're worrying for nothing," I press my lips to his. "Stop thinking about it, and kiss me. Just focus on me. It's just you and me here."

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, and I can't help but think how cute he is at the moment as he tries to relax with his curls hanging in his face. I know that he wanted to do this without a condom, and all I want is to give him what he wants. As long as he's getting something he wants, I don't care if I get another orgasm. I already saw fireworks tonight. This is for him.

He opens his eyes to look at me as he starts to rock his hips again. His dick inside of me feels so much better without a rubber, the feeling, something I have never experienced before. I run my hands down his back as he thrusts deeper into me with every rock. He leans down to kiss me and I listen to him let out a long breath as his tongue plays with mine. His fingers dig into my skin as he starts to pick up the pace.

I lift my hips to start rocking with his, and move my hand up to my pillow, and he lets go of my hip to grab hold of my hand, intertwining our fingers together. When he starts to thrust harder and faster and his breathing gets heavier, I know that it's almost over. Every inch of him feels so good inside of me as he rocks in and out, and he keeps his eyes locked with mine, kissing me every so often and pressing his lips to my jaw.

"Should I—pull—out?" he asks, through breaths. Beads of sweat have started coming down his forehead, and our bodies are starting to stick together as he moves.

"It's up to you," I tell him, squeezing his hand. I don't want it to end. It feels so good. I'm lost in him, in everything that he is, and I don't want to come down from this high. I already don't want him to leave. I want this moment to last.

"Fuck—Jayde," he groans. I can feel him come inside of me, filling me to the brim as he rocks slower before he drops himself on me, and I can feel his rapid heartbeat on my chest as I listen to him breathing heavy. "I'm sorry," he says.

"For what?"

"That sucked for you and I didn't pull out."

"It was great, I promise," I tell him, running my hand through his hair. "And I'm on the pill, there's nothing to worry about."

When our breathing goes back to normal, he leans up to look at me. "I don't want to move," he laughs.

I start to laugh with him, not really knowing what to do at this particular moment. I have a feeling the second I get up, his come is going to drip down my leg. And what a disgusting situation I feel like I'm in.

"Thank you for that," he says, pressing his lips to mine.

"For what?"

"I know you didn't want to do it without a condom," he says. "But you did it anyways, because you knew I wanted to."

I shrug my shoulders and smile. "It's a two way street, right?" I say. "If you don't get something you want, why should I expect you to give me anything in return?"

He gives me a small small in understanding, before pushing himself up off of me. "Guess we should get this over with, yeah?"

In a matter of seconds, we're both off the bed, throwing towels at each other, laughing at how ridiculous the situation is and how stupid we would look if anyone else was to see, before I run into the bathroom and shut the door to clean up.

*

I pick Harry's boxers up off the floor, knowing he's going to need them to get dressed before he goes home, and take them out into my room with me. It surprises me to see that Harry is laying in my bed, with a pair of black boxers upon his hips, looking comfortable as he leans back against the wall.

"Where did—how did—?" I stutter, pointing at his lower half and swinging his boxers around in my other hand.

He smiles and points to the bag sitting next to my desk. "I told my Mom I was sleeping at Niall's," he tells me. I look between him and the bag, confusion settling in nicely. He has never brought a bag over here before, and he has a change of clothes with him? I watch as he gets up off the bed and walks over to me. He takes his boxers from my hand before shuffling through his bag and hands me a white t-shirt. "You can wear this if you want."

It's only then that I realize how naked I still am, as I take his t-shirt and throw it on quickly before walking across the room to my dresser to pick out the cutest underwear I can find on top of the pile. When I turn around, Harry is sitting on the edge of my bed, looking at me. "You're not leaving?" I ask, slowly walking over to him.

"Would it be alright if I stayed with you tonight?" He stretches his arm out for me to take his hand, and when I do, he pulls me to him to stand between his legs. He takes my other hand in his and looks up at me, waiting for me to answer his question, keeping his eyes locked with mine.

And all I can think about is how I will always love the way the lighting of my twinkle lights light up his face. As if somehow the world around us is enchanted and I'd give anything to stay in this magical land where I feel safe and nothing could ever hurt me. Where I could get lost anytime I want, because getting lost in him, in his eyes, is the only place I don't ever really feel lost at all.

"You're surprised I'm asking," he says quietly. "I don't have to stay if you don't want me to."

"I am surprised," I tell him, sitting next to him on the bed. "I'm used to you leaving almost right after."

"Well," he starts, looking down at his hands. "Sometimes, I don't want to be alone."

I shift to the head of my bed, patting the spot next to me. "Come here," I say quietly. "You can stay with me tonight. I don't mind."

It's the unwritten law that we don't know a thing about each other, but I am curious as to why he doesn't want to be alone. I want to ask. I want to understand him. I want to understand a lot of things about him, just to know why he is the way he is with me. But I know that with asking questions gives him the right to ask me questions and I can't forget that what I liked most about him, was that he didn't want us to know a damn thing about each other.

He moves to sit next to me, as we lean our bodies back against the wall. "Your parents won't mind that I'm here?" he asks.

I laugh at his question, not meaning to. "You stayed over here that first night, didn't you?" I ask. "And how many times have you been over here and they haven't even bothered us? They aren't here right now anyways."

"It's kind of nice, isn't it?" he asks. "I hope you don't mind I never ask you to come to my house. My Mom would probably make us sit in the living room with her if she saw I had you over."

"It's fine." I force a smile. I hope that he can't tell it's not real. But I would give anything to have parents who cared enough to make me sit in the living room with them if I had a boy over. That's just an all around caring parent in my head, and to me, Harry is very lucky to have that.

He starts to sink down onto the bed, making me follow to lay next to him, propping the pillow up against the wall. He sets his hand on top of mine that's resting on my stomach as he props himself up on his elbow with his head in his hand. I understand the feeling of not wanting to be alone. I recognize his actions to be that of someone who needs to have someone close, and so I take his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers together, to silently let him know that I am here, because the last thing a person ever wants, is to feel alone when they're with someone. And the last thing I will ever make him feel, is alone while he's with me.

"What did Niall give to you earlier?" he asks, breaking a silence. I divert my attention from our hands to look at him, seeing a smile form on his face and I roll my eyes at his curiosity.

"Why did Maddy show up at your house?" If he's going to be nosy, so am I.

"She wanted to warn me about Rachel," he answers without hesitation. "About the whole prom thing that was apparently explained earlier."

"Ahh," I nod, remembering what went down in the wardrobe room during costume change.

"I already knew about it though," he says, looking back at our hands. He loosens his grip around my fingers, running his up and down mine slowly a few times. "I've been hanging around that group long enough to know them and what they're about."

"Then why stick around?" I ask.

He sucks in a long breath and lets it out slowly, keeping his eyes on our hands. "I guess it's nice to be wanted. Even though I always knew I wasn't going to give into her wants, there was always something about that feeling of being wanted that I became addicted to. It's like I need to be wanted. Or something." His eyes move from our hands to look me in the eyes, and I can sense the honesty pouring from every part of him. Something that I can tell was very hard for him to admit.

"Is that what you're doing with Maddy?" I ask.

"Rachel and Chelsea started to piss me off," he explains. "Maddy wasn't annoying in the beginning. She was a nice girl and she was easy to cling on to, I guess. Now she kind of tries to act like she's my girlfriend even though I've reminded her a hundred times that's not what I want. I guess I just thought she would end up being like Rachel, and she isn't."

"Sorry to break it to ya, but she's a boyfriend type girl," I tell him. "If you keep stringing her along, she's going to keep trying." 

"I know," he sighs.

A silence lingers between us, as he lays his head down on the pillow, letting go of my hand and wrapping his arm around me. He pulls me in closer to him as I move to lay on my side to look at him. Curls fall into his face, as he looks back at me, and I instantly bring my hand up to move it from his line of vision. "You know I want you, right?" I whisper.

"Yeah," he whispers back, flicking his eyes back and forth between mine.

"Shouldn't that be enough then?"

He runs his fingers up my back under his t-shirt, his gaze still locked on mine. I want him to say that I'm enough for him, but as seconds feel like minutes and he doesn't answer, I know I shouldn't have said anything. Because just like him, the feeling of being wanted by someone consumes me, except I only want to be wanted by him. Being wanted by just him is enough for me.

A small smile graces his lips, making me think he will tell me what I need to hear. "What did Niall give you earlier?"

I let out a long breath, moving to lay on my back. I know that I have to be honest with him because of how honest he just was with me, and maybe telling him won't be so bad. He seems like an understanding enough guy like Niall ended up being. And just like he told me in the woods, we're a secret. He won't tell anyone anything. "I told Niall I needed a job," I explain, slowly. "He apparently made a call to someone who was hiring and the note was just the information of the place I could work."

"You told Niall you needed a job?" he asks, furrowing his eyebrows at me. "You could have told me, ya know. I know some places that are hiring. Let me know if this one falls through. I'll get you a job."

I smile at him, feeling better about telling him. It was the smallest of secrets he wanted to know compared to what he told me, but in my head it felt like so much more than that for some reason. As if for one small moment in time, I let the walls down just a sliver. "Thanks."

He lifts his head to look at the clock, making me turn to look at it as well to see in big red glowing numbers, 2:48. 

"I'm going to brush my teeth," I tell him, getting up from the bed.

Watching him brush his teeth with just his boxers on in my tiny bathroom, as I lean my body back against the wall next to the sink, is entertaining. He smiles at me with toothpaste on the corners of his mouth and dripping down his chin, making me laugh. I hand him a wash cloth as I watch him spit into the sink as I take a drink of water from my cup.

He leans down to kiss me as we finish, pressing his lips to mine gently with a smile on his face. "Minty, I like it." He pats me on the bum as I walk out, making me giggle and jump on my bed quickly.

When he climbs in beside me, I turn off the twinkle lights, the room engulfed in sudden darkness, minus the light coming in through the windows from the moon. "Thank you for letting me stay tonight," he says, snuggling up close to me. He wraps his arm around me tightly, making me a little spoon and I can feel his breath on my neck as he breathes out.

There have been many times that I have wanted to tell him, stay, I need you more than you think, every time he goes to leave. But I always felt like that would be saying too much. Opening myself up too far. And that's the last thing I wanted to do. But I didn't have to leave myself vulnerable, knowing I wanted him to stay. He did it for me, because he admitted he didn't want to be alone.

And with his body pressed against mine, with his arm wrapped tightly around me, making me feel safe in a home I haven't felt safe in for so long, I wonder what his vulnerability will do to me. Because I know, with every fiber of my being, if I could, I'd ask him to never leave.

A/N: Holy shit, this is a long one!I really hope you enjoyed this one! Because I think so far, it is my favorite chapter!

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