-----------------------2020----------------------------

On the floor were several objects and photos that reminded Elena of so many great moments she had spent with Asher. They weren't all good, and they had done some bad things. But she still found herself smiling at a stupid keychain from Garden City and a dried daisy from Asher's backyard.

She remembered why every object she had kept in that box was special. Every trinket had a story, but if she told them all to her siblings, they would be up in the attic for years.

Elena had thought that her siblings knew of almost everything she had done with Asher. It was only now that she saw all of these objects, that she realized they only knew the good things. She had told them how happy she was and what great times they had. But the bad things had always remained secrets.

And maybe that was for the best. But now that everything was coming back and she had returned to Saint Charles, she realized she had no one to confide in. She and her siblings always shared everything, yet here they were, in their parents' attic, discovering all the secrets Elena had kept from them.

Kay rummaged through the box in front of them, and the sound brought Elena back to the attic. She didn't know how long they had been up here. The window was very small, barely letting any light through. She would see the difference between day and night, but not between morning and afternoon.

"What are these?" Kay asked, taking out two flat, black and white circles.

"Poker chips," Elena answered, already dreading the next story her siblings would ask for.

"Obviously," was Kay's answer while he rolled his eyes. "But what are they doing inside this box?"

"They are a reminder of when we went to Las Vegas," she responded as nonchalantly as possible.

"Why didn't you cash in the money?" he asked, his mouth falling open.

"Wait, when did you go to Las Vegas?" Emily asked before Elena could respond.

There was a long silence that gave Elena enough time to answer. It was just that she didn't really want to answer it.

But she shouldn't have secrets anymore. Her siblings should know everything.

So she bit her lip and murmured, "When everyone thought we were going to Los Angeles."

-----------------------2014----------------------------

As they stepped out of the car and into the hot Las Vegas air, Elena quickly checked her wallet. She checked the fake driver's license and stored it where her real passport usually sat. Then she searched inside her handbag for her real driver's license, which was still in its newly designated place.

With a safe feeling, she took Asher's hand and together they entered the first casino they saw. She didn't bother about knowing the name because she would never speak of this trip anyway. All she wanted was to have a good time and a lot of Asher.

She found it exciting to enter a casino. Never before had she done, since it wasn't allowed at her age. It still wasn't, which was why she carried a fake passport. But she doubted anyone would ask her to show it.

The air was much cooler inside than outside, and already after a few minutes, she threw on a sweater to fight the cold. They looked around the big room before them. Many tables were spread across the carpeted floor. Most of them were occupied with many people who looked fancier and richer than Elena and Asher did.

They didn't let it stop them, and they walked through the room. Every once in a while, they were startled by someone shouting loudly in happiness or groaning in disappointment. Some people also got angry and stomped away – or restarted another game to lose even more money.

Elena merely rolled her eyes at the sight of those people and continued walking passed the tables. Since she wasn't good with card games, she ushered Asher to the slot machines. Many of those shiny boxes were lined up in a few long rows in the back of the room. Loud electrical noises came from them, attracting passersby and convincing them to try their luck.

That was exactly what Asher did when he found a slot that was empty. He pushed a coin inside the machine and motioned for Elena to pull the handle. Numbers and symbols rushed over the screen, turning around until Elena got dizzy watching it.

Slowly, the screen came to a stop, after which three different symbols lined up. Elena pouted, but Asher quickly put another coin in the machine. Again Elena pulled the handle and again three different symbols lined up.

She sighed. "These are made to make you lose."

Asher wrapped an arm around her and planted his lips on the top of her head. "Do you want to explore the city before we try again?"

She looked up at him, then nodded. A smile appeared on her face while she said: "you should try a game of cards."

"I'm not that good."

"But it will be fun." She winked.

He mockingly rolled his eyes, but couldn't stop a grin from widening his lips. "Let's walk around first."

-----------------------------------------------------------

Their second day in Las Vegas was the second time they entered a casino. The day before they had spend sauntering through the city. And with their legs still tired from that day, they sat down around a blackjack table.

Elena simply watched as cards were being swapped, chips were being placed and taken, and people got angry or really happy. Asher had lost some money and gained some money, and in the end he had a few more dollars than when they arrived.

They spent some time at the slots wasting those dollars they had just gained. And wasting was all they did, because they didn't earn a penny more.

The third day was when all hell broke lose. Asher started off playing a few games of blackjack, poker and other games Elena didn't know. She liked encouraging him and watching the swift movements of the dealer. It was also funny to see some people cheer in joy while others saw winning money as the most normal thing in their life. But when they lost, no one could reason with them.

After a few more games, Elena made her way to the slots and tried her luck again. She stopped counting how many coins she had pushed in. Every time she watched two or three different symbols line up.

But something inside her told her she would get three times the same symbol soon. The lights of her slot would start blinking and the electrical noises would get very loud. Money would come flowing out of the machine and she would be satisfied.

She had seen it happen before, just not to her slot. The happiness that radiated off the man who had won was so immense that Elena wanted to experience it too. She didn't necessarily want the money. She wanted the pride and the happiness. After all, it was money. There was always something she could do with it.

Asher suddenly stood behind her. He laid a hand on her shoulder before leaning down to her ear and whispering: "let's go to the hotel now."

She grinned when she heard the hidden meaning in his voice, but couldn't turn her eyes away from the rushing symbols. When the first two symbols were the same, she was hopeful for the third. But then a damn cherry appeared and made her lose again.

"One more time," she said, lifting one finger toward Asher. He sighed, but let her put in another coin. When the three aligning symbols weren't the same, he watched her put in two more coins, after which the three symbols were different again.

When she reached to put another coin in the slot, Asher's hand suddenly held hers.

"We're going to the hotel," he said sternly through his teeth.

Elena shook off his hand, then quickly pushed the coin in the slot and pulled the handle. While she watched the numbers rush past the screen, she felt Asher pull her away. She felt him doing it only vaguely, because her eyes were glued to the numbers and she remained seated on the stool.

Again the symbols didn't match and Elena reached for yet another coin. This time, Asher didn't only grab her arm, but also took the coin out of her fingers.

"No more," he said, pocketing the coin. "We're going home."

"Home?" Elena asked, turning to Asher since the screen wasn't moving anymore.

"Yes, home. I'm not getting you addicted to gambling. We're not even supposed to be here."

He pulled her arm again, and this time Elena was too shocked to fight back. It was only when Asher had successfully pulled her outside that she realized he was serious. So she pulled her hand out of his grip and stood still.

"We're not going home!" she shouted, thinking of all the money they are missing out on if they leave already.

"Yes, we are," Asher said, leaving no room for argument.

But Elena was deaf to then tone and argued: "but we booked the entire week in the hotel!"

Asher sighed and balled his hands into fists. "I am going home. With my truck. If you want to stay, that's your choice. But don't expect me to drive back here to pick you up. Either you go with me now, or stay here forever."

Elena wanted to argue more, shout at him and make clear he was making a stupid decision. But Asher turned around and walked to his pickup. This time there really was no room for arguments.

She noticed his hands were still tight fists, and his back was rigid in anger. His posture made clear that his decision was not an empty threat.

Eventually Elena took small steps toward the car. She didn't want to go home yet. There was still money to earn here, pride to gain and happiness to feel.

But she feared that she would not get back home if she didn't follow Asher into the car now. So when he stepped behind the wheel and harshly pulled the door close, she quickened her step before he left Las Vegas without her.

-----------------------2020----------------------------

It was silent in the attic after Elena had finished her story. She hadn't dared to look up at her siblings while she admitted it all, and she still wasn't sure if she wanted to see their expressions. The silence already spoke loudly.

"Wow," was eventually the only whisper Emily managed to say.

Elena felt her siblings' eyes on her, but she kept staring at her own hands. It wasn't her proudest moment. She didn't regret many of the things she had done in the past, but Las Vegas was a trip she wished she could change.

After quickly wiping a hand underneath her eye to hide the tear that was falling down, Elena took the many trinkets from the floor and put them in the box.

"Don't we have a funeral to prepare?" she asked, avoiding her siblings' gazes. She was glad when Emily only laid a comforting hand on Elena's shoulder before standing up. Kay quickly followed her and they left Elena alone in the attic.