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Since Asher had walked in the direction she needed to go, Elena had made a detour to go home. It was a longer way, which gave her a bigger chance of running into someone she didn't want to see. So she kept her gaze on the ground. It was harder to do when she knew she was walking down Main Street.

Main Street was where Asher used to live.

Even without looking up, she knew when she was passing the Singleton's house. Or was it their former house? She didn't know if Mrs. Singleton still lived here. Asher didn't, her mother had said.

Without realizing it, she was looking up at the brown house. There was only empty space where Asher's red pickup used to sit in the driveway.

She sighed, and dropped her eyes back on the ground. These stones had often passed her view. She and Asher would go running together. His house was the first they passed when returning home. She would always complain that she still had a longer way to run.

He would offer to run with her, but she would always refuse. It was so warm that it wasn't healthy to run too much. But Asher would do it for her.

She would joke and tell him that it was her way of becoming a better runner than him. It had never happened, which didn't surprise her. She blamed it on the fact that men were naturally stronger than women, but he would remind her that she ran more than him.

"Only two streets!" she would argue.

"And a half," he would add.

They left with a kiss, after which he could enjoy the cool air in his home and a glass of water. She still had to conquer some more heat before she got that.

Elena shook her head and turned away from the house. There were so many memories in Saint Charles. A part of her wanted to forget them all. They haunted her. Everything that used to feel good and make her happy, now makes her sad. Even a stupid flower that still grew in between the same stones of the sidewalk made her heart ache.

The other part of her was grateful for the great times she had had. She had laughed and smiled a lot. Her years in Saint Charles were the best ones of her life. In Denver she had not been able to find that happiness again.

But every smile from then, now felt like a stab in her heart. Everything in Saint Charles was familiar, yet unknown at the same time. She wasn't sure how she felt, but her head told her she should leave as soon as possible.

The sudden honking of a car startled her visibly, and she quickly turned around. Her father's car was driving her way, with Emily behind the wheel and Kay in the passenger's seat.

"We're going to Mom," Kay explained. "Do you want to come?"

Elena nodded, then stepped into the car. She wasn't ready to write the information for the obituary.

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As they entered the hospital room, it was obvious that Mia wasn't doing well. She looked alright, but her eyes almost fell shut in fatigue. The look on her face showed that she wanted to cry, but didn't want anyone to see it. It wouldn't surprise Elena if her mother had cried when they left the day before.

Elena, nor her siblings, said anything of it. If there was one thing more annoying than feeling weak, it was being told you looked weak. So they pretended their mother was alright. Elena held Mia's hand and squeezed it every once in a while, showing her mother she felt compassionate.

It was hard for Elena to know her father was gone. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to have her husband be dead. Mia hadn't talked about the accident, but Elena wondered if her mother had seen her dead husband. Had she seen it happen? Did she realize it was real?

For Elena it didn't feel real. It felt like her father could walk through the door any moment, smiling and waving happily. She might not like everything her father had done or said, but she loved him nonetheless. And she would do anything she could to bring him back to live, even for just one day.

Goodbyes were hard. That she knew from experience. But she hadn't been able to actually say the word 'goodbye' to her father. One day he was there, and the next he was gone. It had been a while since she had seen the man. Now she felt regret for not visiting or inviting him more often.

The past was the past, and it couldn't be changed. But if only she could tell her father goodbye, she would.

She thought of what other people would do. They would pray, wouldn't they? If only Elena believed in someone to pray to. If there really was a God out there who created them, why would he allow them to go through the horrible event of a parent dying? Why would he make them feel unhappy and sad?

Maybe because you won't know happiness if you don't know sadness, she reasoned. But what would praying help? It's not like God had a magic wand with which he could suddenly make her feel happy. And it's not like a god would purposefully make something bad happen to a person, right?

And if he did, what was that supposed to teach Elena? Or was it not her lesson to learn, but someone else's? Was she just collateral damage – carrying another person's pain?

Or was life not as spiritual as she believed? Maybe her father just died because his time had come and there were no further reasons for it. Maybe life was so simple that it didn't seem realistic. Or maybe she should stop thinking about deep stuff like that and just accept it.

Her father had died, and she felt like a disappointment.

Yes, her father had obviously loved her more than her siblings. But that was not because she had achieved more than them. It was simply because she wasn't gay. That's how black and white Carl Hunter was.

Elena's thoughts were suddenly interrupted when the door opened and a nurse stepped in. It didn't take the Hunter siblings long to recognize the woman as their friend, Julie.

With all the exaggerated enthusiasm he always possessed, Kay jumped up and hugged Julie tightly. His smile was bright as he spoke unstoppably: "oh my gosh, I have missed you. How are you? You look great. And you haven't changed a bit. I'm so happy to see you again."

Julie laughed and laid her hands on Kay's shoulder. "Calm down, Kay. Take a breath. Relax."

Kay grinned. "You're the first friend I see since being back in Saint Charles," he explained.

Elena saw Emily stand up from her chair, but Julie turned to Elena, unaware of Emily's eagerness to talk to her former girlfriend.

Julie smiled at Elena and opened her arms. With a smile, Elena stepped into her embrace. It felt good to have Julie's arms around her. If there was one thing she regretted by leaving Saint Charles, it was not saying goodbye to Julie. Emily hadn't allowed that because she was worried Julie might convince Emily to stay.

"How are you?" Julie asked with more meaning than anyone in the room realized.

Elena nodded, showing Julie she understood the underlying question. "I'm fine."

It was not a complete lie. If she ignored the heartache caused by being back in Saint Charles, she was doing remarkably well. Too well, she found, since it didn't feel like she was mourning her father enough.

Before Julie could ask any more questions that would raise suspicion with the Hunters, Elena motioned her head to Emily. Julie bit her lip, trying to hide a smile before she turned to Emily.

There was worry on Emily's face, but Elena didn't think it was necessary. Julie had seemed excited to see her again – the badly hidden smile proved it all. So when Julie asked, "Can we talk outside?" Elena knew all was going to be well.

When the door had closed behind the two women, Elena sat back down on her chair and squeezed her mother's hand. Mia smiled back.

"How are you?"

"Mother, we should be asking you that," Elena said.

Her mother waved her daughter's concern away with her hand. She didn't want to talk about it, Elena figured. And maybe it was obvious how the woman felt. Heartbroken, lonely, sad.

"How are you?" Mia repeated.

Elena sighed, then admitted, "It's strange to be back." That was not quite how she felt, but it was the most decent way to explain her feelings.

"Have you seen Asher?"

Her eyes shot to her mother's. It was like the woman knew. Was it so obvious when looking at Elena?

Since there was no denying it anymore, Elena nodded. Words would feel too loud since she didn't want to admit seeing him again.

"You have?" Kay asked, suddenly interested. He moved his chair closer to Elena's and took Mia's other hand. Of course he wants to know everything, Elena thought.

"It wasn't pleasant," she said, her face contorting from the memory. "We yelled at each other."

"What about?" her mother asked, genuine concern in her voice.

Elena bit her lip. The conversation was still too fresh to not feel tears burn her eyes again. He had been really angry at her, and she deserved it. But she had shouted at him too, which was something he didn't deserve.

She sighed loudly. Did she already regret hurting him? She shouldn't, because if she left Saint Charles again, her pain would stay. And the more she regretted, the more pain she would feel.

"My departure," she finally responded. She lowered her eyes to her hands, not wanting to look her mother in the eye. "He was furious."

"But he still looked good," Kay said as if hearing her thoughts.

She only chuckled. There was no point in admitting that, because words spoken out loud were harder to forget.

"He's a cop," she continued. "With a prosthesis."

"Does that surprise you?" Mia wondered.

Elena scoffed. "The cop part does."

"Asher a cop," Kay said while leaning back in his chair. "I can imagine that. He was always out to do good."

Another scoff escaped Elena, but she didn't say anything.

"He is ready to forgive you," Mia said with a meaningful squeeze in Elena's hand.

Elena nodded. "He said he still loves me."

There was a silence in the room that spoke volumes. She didn't want to look up, but Elena was sure her brother's mouth had fallen open. Her mother was probably smiling, hoping for more encounters.

She was saved when the door opened and a nurse entered. Julie had sent her, she explained. It made Elena smile. Hopefully all would be good between her sister and Julie.