A/N: Short LoZ comedy spoof. This particular work is dedicated to Sparda242 as a little Christmas gift. Also, as a thank you for all the help and input you've given to my stories. You're a great friend and I'm glad to be able to give this little something back to you. Enjoy : ) Fair warning; it's a little crazy. 😅

Interviwer: On tonight's show we welcome the Legend of Zelda, Breath of the Wild folks; Lady Impa.

*Audience cheer as Impa walks onto stage and takes a seat opposite the interviewer*

Interviewer: Alright, alright… So, Lady Impa, how are you doing?

Impa: I am doing very good, thank you.

Interviewer: That's great to hear, now I just want to ask, are you happy to take some questions from both myself and our awesome audience out there tonight?

Impa: Yes. Quite.

Interviewer: Yay! That's what we like to hear. Alright, so to start the night I'm going to go for the first question that has come in; Who was your favourite person to work with during Breath of the Wild?

Impa: Ah, now this is a really tough choice. Both the Princess and Master Link were really pleasant during it all. If I had to choose, I would say that Master Link was most delightful due to his very helpful nature.

Interviewer: Ooh. There we have it folks, Master Link is Impa's favourite. I wonder what the Princess feels about this… Guess we will find out later on this evening.

Impa: But as I said, it is an extremely tough choice. I do love them both.

Interviewer: And, to follow up that question; Who was your least favourite person to work with?

Impa: Now, that's a no brainer. Calamity Ganon was most unpleasant, and not even because of the trouble he caused. You see, Calamity Ganon gets terrible gas during his battles and that rotten smell spreads through Hyrule like nine hundred korok seeds.

Interviewer; Oof. That's gotta sting, right Ganon?... But we won't know right now since he will not be joining us tonight for obvious reasons.

Impa: Well, honestly he deserves all he gets.

Interviewer: Touché.

Impa: Next question?

Interviewer: Right, of course. Okay, the third question the audience has for you; Does Paya have feelings for Link?

Impa: I can't answer that directly. Though I can tell you that she is quite fond of him and does tend to blush when he is around.

Interviewer: Hmm, interesting. I say it certainly seems like she might hold a torch for him.

Impa: Only Paya herself can tell you that.

Interviewer: And that's a fact! Shall we wrap this conversation up and bring Paya out then?

Impa: *Rolls her eyes* That sounds spectacular.

Interviewer: Okay! Thank you for joining us tonight, Lady Impa. It has been a pleasure.

Impa: *Standing up* And thank you for hosting me.

Paya

Presenter: Alright, let's cheer for Paya!

*Audience start a round of applause as Paya walks onto stage and sits down in the chair*

Paya: Th- Th- Thank you all.

Interviewer: Good evening, Paya! How are you doing tonight?

Paya: Me? Oh… I'm good.

Interviewer: Right, and are you comfortable with answering a few questions for us here tonight?

Paya: I uh- I guess so.

Interviewer: Brilliant! Okay, the first question is… Are you looking forward to working with the crew on Tears of the Kingdom?

Paya: I- Well, I do look forward to working with my grandmother and- Oh and seeing Master Link again.

Interviewer: Awe, that's adorable. I wonder if Master Link feels the same.

Paya: Oh, I wouldn't know.

Interviewer: Hmm, perhaps tonight you shall find out. Now, next question; Is there anyone you aren't comfortable working with?

Paya: Calamity Ganon aside, I feel rather shy when working with the Princess.

Interviewer: Oof. Why the Princess?

Paya: I don't know. She- She's nice and she and Link are tightly bound… I just… Oh, please forgive me for this, Princess, but I find her voice highly annoying.

*Audience oohs*

Interviewer: Wow. I think enough has been said. I'm sure the Princess has her own views on this, but we shall find out later tonight. Okay, third question Paya; do you have a crush on Master Link?

Paya: *Stunned silence*

Interviewer: Well?

Paya: I- I- I mean…. Ahhhhhhhhhh. *Runs off stage screaming*

Interviewer: Guess that answers our question. *Chuckles nervously.* Alright, let's bring out the next guest: Princess Zelda…

Zelda

Presenter: Three cheers for the Princess!

*Audience gives cheers and a round of applause*

Zelda: Thank you, everyone. *Takes her seat.*

Interviewer: Hello, Princess. How are you doing on this fine evening?

Zelda: Good thank you. Oh, and just Zelda is fine. No need for formalities.

Interviewer: Very well then, Zelda. Mind if we ask you a few questions tonight?

Zelda: No, of course.

Interviewer: Great! Alright, shall we get started?

Zelda: Yeah.

Interviewer: Okay, the first question of the night is; Who is the smartest person out of your friend's?

Zelda: Ah, that's easy. Impa is. She's even smarter than me.

Interviewer: Well, we see where you get the brains from now.

Zelda: Oh yes, I owe much of it to Impa.

Interviewer: Next question; What is your favourite place in Hyrule?

Zelda: I have many, but none can compare to my father's garden.

Interviewer: That sounds like a great place to be.

Zelda: Truly, it is.

Interviewer: Okay, next question. How do you feel about Impa choosing Link as her favourite earlier tonight?

Zelda: Well, I… it does not bother me.

Interviewer: Really?

Zelda: Yes, really. Link is a very noble, and a very kind, also funny and interesting person to be around. Impa is right, and Hyrule is lucky to have him.

Interviewer: Ooh, now that's an interesting take. Well, there you have it ladies and gents, that concludes our time with the Princess.

*Audience cheer as Zelda stands up, bows her head in respect and leaves the stage*

Interviewer: Time for our fourth and final guest of this evening… the one and only, Master Link himself!

Link

Presenter: Alright, let's give a warm welcome to Hyrule's trusty hero, Link!

*Audience cheers harder as Link walks on stage, flashing a big toothy grin and winking at the camera*

Interviewer: Good evening, Master Link. Now, are you okay to answer a few questions?

Link: Absolutely. Let's get this party started!

Interviewer: That's a great answer, and the first question is; Who is your best friend in the entire kingdom?

Link: Oof, this is tough. Everyone really does mean a lot to me, but if I had to choose I would say that Mipha was definitely my best friend. She was just the kindest Zora ever.

Interviewer: Hear that ladies and gents? The boy is sweet on Mipha.

Link: No, I didn't say-

Interviewer: And onto the next question; How does it feel to constantly be saving the Princess?

Link: It is my honour. While she can be somewhat bossy at times, she's rather pleasant to accompany around the Kingdom and I can't think of another that I'd rather travel with.

Interviewer: Awe, well isn't that just lovely. Okay, third question; How did it feel when you woke up after sleeping for a hundred years?

Link: At first, I was pretty relaxed. It was chilled in the shrine of resurrection and I wasn't quite aware of what was happening. The further I ventured, the more confused I became until I was able to remember a few details.

Interviewer: Oof. That must have been one tough time. Props to you for sticking it out.

Link: Well, it wasn't without difficulty, but I couldn't give up on the people of Hyrule.

Interviewer: Very noble of you. Alright, next question; Who do you prefer between Zelda and Paya?

Link: Ah now- *Breaks off as screaming erupts from backstage*

Presenter: I hate to interrupt this interview, but it appears that a cat fight has broken out behind the curtain. Come quick, Steve!

Interviewer: I'm on my way! Eh- Sorry about this ladies and gents.

*Runs backstage followed by Link*

Interviewer: Are you catching this, camera man?

CM: Yeah, I'm getting it!

Paya: *Pulling at Zelda's hair* Grrrrhhh why do you always have to charm them?

Zelda: *Pulling at Paya's arm* I wasn't charming them! I was being polite.

Impa: Don't just stand there Master Link! Help me separate them.

Paya: *Now with Zelda in headlock* He doesn't like you, he likes me!

Zelda: *With her fists pushing Paya's head* It's not like that and you know it! Why are you being so psycho?

Paya: You're the psycho! *tightens her arm*

Zelda: Get your grubby hands off me! *Lifts Paya's hand to her mouth and bites down hard*

Link: Woah, ladies… What's the deal?

Paya: Don't worry, Link. I'll take care of her so we can live happily ever after!

Zelda: You're crazy!

*Impa, fed up with the drama, locks her arms around Paya and pulls her away from the Princess, although not without kicking and screaming*

Impa: Link, grab her!

*Link moves swiftly, grabbing hold of Zelda to stop her from making a move on Paya.*

Interviewer: Well, everyone… I think we may have to call it a night.

*Paya breaks out of Impa's grip and charges across the room, knocking both Link and Zelda to the floor as both girls continue to scrap with Link caught in the middle*

Presenter: Camera man, put that damn thing down and let's sort this out!

CM: Nah, I'm out! *Drops the camera and runs out of the studio screaming*

*Recording begins to go fuzzy*

Interviewer: Ne- nev- never mind, we'll b-be -b b-b-back. Just experiencing some tech- tech- technical difficulties.

*Camera goes black and screams from the two girls continue*