14. Sam's Insane Plan (AKA His Death Wish)

I feel a strong headache coming on. Considering the topic is one of insanity, I'm surprised I haven't gotten a freaking migraine.

It's not every day where your little brother is trying to convince his siblings that he wants to go see Lucifer in Hell.

"Because it's crazy, okay!" Dean shouts at Sam. We're in the bunker library. "And it's not going to happen. How many times do I have to say that this is a horrible idea?"

"About as many as I have to say, okay then what else have we got?" Sam retorts. "Listen, I'm all ears. Dean, ordinarily I'd agree with you, but the visions only happen when I reach out to God. I asked him for a way to beat the Darkness and the visions got more specific—and I was in the Cage."

"Yeah, with Lucifer. The biggest monster ever hatched. Fan-freaking-tastic!"

"You know Lucifer was the biggest monster ever hatched, until you and I hatched one that's even worse. Listen, in the vision, Lucifer touches me and I feel calm, like things will be all right. And that's not something I would ever come up with. I mean that is the last thing that I would ever feel."

"Not that I'm an expert on the Devil here," I interject, "but if Lucifer touched you, it would be the last thing you think. Ever."

"See?" says Dean, getting up from the table to pour himself some whiskey. "Jo gets it."

"Why would God even ask this of you?" I ask my little brother. "What proof do we have that any of this is actually real?"

"There was a burning bush," says Sam.

"A burning bush?"

"Like in the Bible."

"You were in the forest. There are bushes there and sometimes they burn!" Dean insists. He sits back at the table. "You know what, man? Maybe there is something to it all, maybe, and maybe there's not."

"Dean, doesn't it make sense? I mean, Lucifer would know how God ended the Darkness. He was there."

"That still doesn't make it a good idea, Sammy," I say softly. "Look, I would rather find an alternative if it means you don't come into contact with Lucifer."

"Find an alternative, then, and then we can discuss it."

I snort. "No need to be a stubborn ass about it."

"All I'm saying is that we need to make sure this can happen. That I can get into the Cage and talk to him."

I bite down on my lip. "And how do you suggest we test that out?"

"Well, we do know the King of Hell."

I rub my eyes. This conversation feels too exhausting to try and continue arguing with Sam on this. "Great, in order to go through with one headache, we got to talk to another." I sigh. "All right, if it pleases you, we'll talk to Crowley and get his 'professional' opinion about it."

But I have a feeling I know what the King of Hell will say.

* * *

We don't have Crowley in the bunker, we meet him in a neutral location. And by neutral location, I mean under a bridge, near a homeless encampment.

"So God assured you of this, did he?" Crowley asks Sam. "I'd say you're making this up, but I never think of you as imaginative."

"We're not saying it's going to happen," I say firmly. "We just want to know...theoretically...if it's possible."

"The Cage is a can of worms you do not want to open." I feel more relieved than I should by hearing it come out of Crowley's mouth. "I believe this conversation is over..."

"Is it?" Dean asks, as Crowley is close to snapping his fingers and disappearing on us. "Crowley, you know that the Darkness is going to pound on everything and that includes you."

"Yeah," Sam agrees. "And you had a shot at taking her out when she was with you, but apparently you thought that sucking up was the way to go."

"And that didn't work out so well."

"Because she chose you," Crowley tells Dean. "And you couldn't control your girlfriend. What happened in that room? Why did she insist on sparing you? What is she to you?"

That's the first I'm hearing of this. Dean has some sort of connection with Amara? Since when did Crowley temporarily keep a leash on the Darkness? Was I away too long?

"Wanna know what she is, Crowley?" I ask smartly. "How about God's sister."

"God's sister? He has relatives? I had that kind of leverage under my thumb and I let it slip away."

"Oh boohoo, so sorry for your loss."

"Can we focus on the big picture here? Can Sam meet with Lucifer or not?" Dean asks straight-out.

"In the Cage," Sam adds.

"No, not in the Cage," I shut that down. "That's not going to happen."

"Okay, then I don't meet with Lucifer. Guys, we can't let him out."

I notice Crowley has a look in his eye. "What?"

"There may be a way," he says. "Clearly, if Sam enters the Cage he's gone. And yes, it's on my bucket list, but now is not the time to be selfish. Need a secure site, a way to neutralize Lucifer's powers."

"In Hell?"

"Yes, in Hell! So we have a modicum of control. You think I want that abomination running amuck upstairs?"

"Is it possible to control the situation? Because if Sam's not safe, it's not happening," Dean says.

"Goodness, mummy, loosen the grip. Theoretically it's possible, with challenges. I can arrange for transit into Hell. Opening the Cage, that's another matter."

"You're the King of the joint," I say. "Don't you have a key?"

"It was sealed by God himself. Of course I don't have a key. The mechanisms of divine manufacturer, I believe its secrets, along with the spells for warding Sam were recorded where many such mysteries are found—the Book of the Damned."

I was really hoping he wasn't gonna say that. The Book of the Damned brings me back awful memories. I let Charlie Bradbury die because of it. I let a Styne murder her. For that, my brothers turned against me. Well, Dean had, at least. I'm still not too sure about Sam. My mind hadn't been right around that time, so it's hard to say.

We travel with Crowley to his domain, sort of. We lie in wait while he gets Rowena. She's another person I'm not exactly fond of.

"Oh, you're not handing me over to them," the redhead, Irish witch insists upon seeing me and my brothers. "It's beneath you. They're your enemies as well."

"All right, Rowena," I say out of irritation. "We get it. We're all enemies, okay. But right now we've got bigger fish to fry. Then we can go back to killing each other."

"Ah, the chicken's come home to roost. This ghastly force set free when the Mark was removed."

"So you know?" asks Sam.

"I've heard whispers. As bad as they say?"

"Well, let's just say that everyone in this room might hold a piece of the puzzle to corking it back up," says Dean.

"Oh, really, and what happens to me once the danger is past? How do I know that I can trust any of you?"

"You don't," says Crowley. "None of us do. It's a Devil's bargain."

"Oh, and, there's one detail you might want to consider," I tell Rowena. "We're trying to box up God's sister."

"Can this be true? His sister!" Rowena exclaims softly. "In my day we'd all be burned at the stake for thinking any of this."

"You see then, Mother, the need for urgency," says Crowley.

"Well, if my deciphering of the Book is so pivotal, I'd like to know what's in it for me."

I cross my arms. "You mean, other than your life?" I ask.

"Speaking of which," says the King of Hell, "I'll make you a little deal, Mummy. You pitch in like a good girl; I'll call off my assassins. No more looking over your shoulder, for now."

"I'll need the Codex, of course," Rowena insists. "And the code-breaker Charlie devised."

"Yeah, you'll get limited access," Sam says.

"Supervised," I add in the same steely tone.

"We need to know exactly this—how to open the Cage and how to protect Sam," says Dean.

"Just what's in this cage that's so dangerous?" asks Rowena.

"Lucifer," says Sam.

"Lucifer? The original Dark Prince?"

"Yes, an archangel so bad-assed that he was personally dumped into the Cage by God himself," says Dean.

"Well, let's get to it then."

Rowena looks way too excited to help us. I'm not sure that's a good thing. Maybe she's a fan of the Devil himself.

Ugh, groupies.