FORTY THREE

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF ATTEMPTED SUUCIDE AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

"My beautiful anjo, why do you love Monza so much?"

Luiz Cohen questioned his beloved daughter as he took his time in braiding her long dark hair.

"Because you always win, papa!"

Larissa Cohen beamed at her beloved father as she lifted her head to stare up at him, seeing the man staring down at her whilst dressed in his infamous red Ferrari drivers suit.

He pushed her head up so that he could braid her hair properly but found that the excited child that filled his heart with love repeatedly moved her head to stare and smile at him.

"I do, and do you know why I always win?"

Larissa rapidly shook her head from side to side earning a small groan from her father's lips as her braids were messed up once more.

"Because I have to give my trophy to my beautiful girl every year for her birthday."

"Dp you think that I change my birthday, papa? I don't want it to be on the same day as your races, because it takes it away from you." Larissa pouted up at her father.

Luiz gently shook his head from side to side at his little girl as a fond and loving smile coated his features.

"You can't change your birthday, anjo. It's the reason why I always make sure that I win, because I know that I'm winning for you."

____________________________________________________

Larissa Kimi Cohen's freezing cold body was harshly pulled from the bath that she was laying in, and placed on the hard tiled floor of the bathroom.

Her body was cold and unmoving and she didn't seem to be breathing.

Two hands frantically started chest compressions and CPR on the Brazilian in an attempt to save her, as they hoped that they weren't too late to save her.

"One, Two, Three, Four..."

They breathed out in a panic as their hands interwined together to press down on her chest repeatedly, as they counted underneath their breath.

A second person held her nose and pressed their lips against hers to force air down her airway and in to her lungs.

Larissa Cohen burst to life as a loud gasp left her lips, with air flooding in to her lungs, with her body lurching upwards and narrowly avoiding hitting the two people who had saved her.

"Larissa, please tell me that I didn't just save you from an attempt."

"Leave me alone."

Larissa's broken voice cracked as the words left her shaking lips, before a large sweater was placed over her body to give the girl some warmth and comfort.

"Mini Cohen, come on, we need to get you warmed up."

Larissa didn't have a chance to refuse before two sets of hands gripped on to her arms and pulled her to her feet and helped her shaking body in to her bedroom.

Lorenzo Leclerc and Toto Wolff watched her carefully as she changed in to some warm items of clothing which were belonging to Charles, and curled up in to herself.

Why did they have to come and save her?

She didn't want to be saved.

Toto Wolff crouched in front of the girl who he had seen as a daughter and gently cupped her cheek with his hand.

"Larissa, why?"

Tears welled up in the dark brown eyes of the Brazilian as she stared at the two men who were crouched beside her.

Her eyes closed momentarily as she blinked and therefore causing her tears that had built up in her eyes to fall down her cheeks.

"I want to be with my dad, Toto. I can't do this anymore." Her voice cracked once again before she felt the arms of the Austrian man wrapping tightly around her as he pulled her against his chest to hug her.

Lorenzo used his hand to rub small circles on her back in an attempt to soothe her, before he was forced to turn at the loud sound of her mobile phone ringing.

"Zahra's calling you. There's six voicemails left by her and Pierre." Lorenzo spoke as he handed her the phone, but furrowed his eyebrows together as she placed her phone down and completely ignored it.

"Why did you have to come and find me? Why couldn't you just leave me alone?"

Toto and Lorenzo locked eyes as they both stared at the ground, before they both started to speak.

"Zahra had sent a text message to Charles, and he told me to come and check on you." Lorenzo admitted before they turned to Toto.

"Pierre called Lewis and he called me twenty times to find you. Romain told me that he had seen you here, so I came here."

"But when I sent them messages, neither of them responded or even saw the message." Larissa spoke in confusion.

"They were on their way back from visiting my mother when Zahra's car stopped working. They didn't have any cell service." Lorenzo informed the woman, seeing her eyes widen slightly.

"But Pierre always drives, not Zahra."

"What?" Toto furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion.

"Pierre hates it when he doesn't drive, so he always drives everywhere."

"Are you sure?" Lorenzo questioned in surprise, not expecting the girl to know it.

"They are my best friends. I know them like the back of my hand." Larissa spoke firmly as she wiped her tears away that were on her cheeks.

The two men watched as she turned her body to face them with her face cold and emotionless, with a glare that reminded them of her father.

"So what were they really doing?"

____________________________________________________

Lucy Appleton had immediately got a flight back from Florida as soon as she had heard the news of Larissa's attempt to take her own life.

It was a day before she was meant to return, but she felt like it could not wait, since Larissa was part of her family, whether the Brazilian liked it or not.

So as soon as her eyes caught the exhausted figure of the Cohen girl, she ran as fast as she could to elope the girl in the tightest hug that she could possibly give her.

"Lis, baby, why didn't you call me?" Lucy brushed her hand over the cheek of the Brazilian.

"You were with your children, having a nice time. I couldn't interrupt it." Larissa muttered quietly in to the neck of her trainer.

"Lis, you know that you are practically one of my children! I would have dropped everything to come to you, baby." The Appleton woman soothed the Brazilian as they were stood just outside of the garage of Toro Rosso.

"Can I call you mom?"

Larissa couldn't hide the emotion in her voice as she spoke, with her own voice sounding as if she was a terrified child once again.

Lucy stared down at the young woman with tears in her own eyes as she pressed a soft kiss to the girls temple.

She felt like she was doing what Luiz would have wanted her to do.

To look after his little girl.

"Of course you can, it's an honor for me to be called your mom."

"Thanks mom."

____________________________________________________

"Kid, you know what today is, don't you?"

Franz Tost spoke to his rookie driver as she held no emotion on her face, with her helmet in her hand.

"No, please do enlighten me."

Larissa forced her eyes to roll as she stared at her team principal, since she was well aware of the day and what he had meant.

It was the eleventh anniversary of her father's crash and death.

And her twentieth birthday.

It was the exact reason why she absolutely hated to celebrate her birthday, because she knew that she had lost her father at Monza and on her birthday.

"Just be safe out there, okay?" Franz stared sadly at his youngest driver, seeing her scowl on her face.

"I quite like the idea of having somebody cutting my brakes so that I can drive in to a wall at one hundred and eighty miles per hour, but sure whatever."

Franz watched carefully as his driver climbed in to her car and got ready to start the Italian Grand Prix at Monza, from the pit lane due to the FIA ordering her to start there due to an accident that she had caused during free practise.

Where she had taken out seven drivers.

Her hands started to tighten around the material of her steering wheel as she prepared herself to race for the very first time in Formula One on the very same track that she had lost her father.

She knew that a lot of people and a lot of fans around the track were wanting her to do well, but she was predicted by some ex formula one drivers  to get a DNF, since they didn't think that she could keep her emotions in check.

They thought that she would lose control or crash before she even reached the twentieth lap.

Since that was the lap that her father had crashed on.

"Twenty laps for a twenty year old. Let's hope I have adequate brakes, unlike my dad." Larissa whispered to herself as she was ready and waiting for the lights to go so that she could take off.

As soon as they did, Larissa started to drive out of the pit lane to end up at the back of the grid, behind all of the other cars being driven by the drivers that were all determined to their best.

But none of them had lost their father on the track.

Larissa's Toro Rosso soared past the car that was just ahead of her, which was the Williams of Sergey Sitrokin since he had not put up any defence.

Zahra Bailey watched with tears in her eyes as she was stood with Mick and Gina Schumacher in the Ferrari garage, watching her best friend racing a race that she thought that she would never do.

Michael Schumacher sat in his wheelchair as he stared at the screen that was concentrated solely on his beloved and favorite niece.

He had been determined to watch his niece at Monza, and he was incredibly proud that she was even able to get in to her car and race at all, especially considering everything about that day.

He had wanted her to win, so he was completely and utterly determined that he was going to the race, and forced his two children and his wife to bring him to Imola so that he could watch her.

He wanted to do what Luiz was not able to do.

He wanted to be there for when she won the race so that when she was on the first place podium that she would see him smiling proudly for her.

"Do you think she can do it?" Gina started to bite at her nails as she watched the screen that her sister was on, since Ferrari had agreed to put up and extra screen for Larissa's race to be broadcasted on, just for them.

"She's a Cohen." Mick muttered underneath his breath as he watched his sister in her car race around the track that he had lost his favorite uncle on.

"Sh- she will win." Michael forced the words out of his lips as he watched his niece jump up to twelfth place, despite having started from the pit lane.

"She has to." Zahra muttered quietly, silently begging to Luiz to help his daughter win.

Larissa was fast approaching the car of her team mate, who was currently sitting in eleventh, just ahead of her when she seemed to skid on a certain part of the track that was incredibly familiar to her.

The same part of the track where her father had gone off.

She wrestled with her car as it hurtled towards the same wall that had killed her father, before she turned her steering wheel as hard as she could to narrowly avoid it.

"That was too close, chuchuzinho."

Larissa could hear her father's voice in her mind as she was able to steer her way safely back on to the track.

Pierre's car moved out of the way as Larissa's approached his once more, since he didn't even need to be told by his radio engineer to know what it was that she was trying to do.

He hoped that she could.

Her car then swiftly overtook the car of her Uncle Nando, to make her tenth and therefore meaning that she would be in the points.

She had never wanted to race in Monza, since every other race at the track in Formula Three and Formula Two, she had made herself ill so that she would not be well enough to race at it.

She had never wanted to do this, since she absolutely hated it due to losing her father in front of her eyes.

She could remember it like it was yesterday, because in her mind it was.

She had nightmares almost every single night of the accident and the explosion, since she had been at the scene and had seen the look in her father's eyes before he had been killed.

She had never wanted to have a birthday since her father's death, since every year it reminded her of the life that she had lost.

She never wanted to be alive.

She had remembered the day when her uncle Sebastian had stopped her from jumping off the bridge near to his home, and whilst she knew why he had saved her, she really didn't want him to.

He had essentially just extended her suffering whereas she had just wanted it to end.

She had remembered faltering in her tracks at the sight of the homeless man that had helped Sebastian pull her back over the railings of the bridge and back on their side.

Because for a moment, she genuinely had thought that it was her father.

He had looked exactly like him, except for the shaggy clothes and the long beard and messy hair. His eyes were the same, his nose, his mouth area. It was almost him.

Her car moved past Daniel Ricciardo and she noticed the very small wave that her favorite Australian was giving her as she did so.

Daniel beamed from inside of his car as he noticed her small wave back to him, making his chest fill with pride.

Her car then headed towards her uncle Kimi as she noticed that he was defending hard from her car, making her eyes narrow in to slits.

She battled with his Ferrari for over three laps, which meant that she was nearing the twentieth lap, and was getting closer to her father's time of death.

As the two of them started the twentieth lap, she was able to find a small gap in between his car and the wall that she was able to squeeze past him and overtake him.

Her eyes seemed to drift towards the wall as she once again reached the part of the track where her father had died, and she knew that it was the exact time that her father had crashed.

"DADDY!" Larissa screamed, tears flooding down her cheeks as the dam had broken.

She saw her fathers head move from within the flames, she knew.

Their eyes met, sadness staring at each other for less than a second, before it all came crashing down.

BOOM!

Larissa flinched from inside her car as her mind was invaded by pictures of her father's death, of which would not go away.

She couldn't do it.

"I need to get out, I can't do this- I can't finish the race! Get me out!"

Larissa's voice sounded through the radio to he team in the Toro Rosso garage, and they could tell that she was in the middle of a panic attack.

"Lis, you have to take a deep breath okay. You can do it, you can finish and you can win."

Lucy Appleton spoke to her through the radio, until she could hear whispers from behind her, turning to see a man that she thought that she would never see at a race.

Michael Schumacher.

"He wants to talk to her." Mick informed the woman, since they had heard the Brazilians frantic and terrified voice.

Lucy nodded her head up and down whilst grabbing the headphone set from off the head of Larissa's radio engineer Matthew.

"Yo- your father is look- looking down on you. Win for him and for me."

Michael's slurred voice sounded through the radio, causing Larissa to release a small cry from the inside of her car.

"Uncle Micky, I can't do it. I can't- I can't do it."

"You are a Cohen. Win for Luiz. He is watching."

"I love you, Uncle Micky."

"I- I love you, mausi."

Mick smiled proudly at his father as he handed to headphones back to the Appleton woman.

He knew that his sister was incredibly emotional and having a panic attack, but he knew that if anybody could calm her down and convince her to continue to race that it was his father.

He had been the one to start calling his sister mausi since he had known that it was a nickname that she had been called by his father, and he knew that it always calmed her when he did.

His father was always with her.

Just like Luiz was.

Larissa silently sobbed from inside of her car as tears filled up in her eyes and blurred her vision.

She didn't want to race, but she had no idea that her uncle Micky had been at the race.

She couldn't let him down.

Her car battled with the Mercedes of Valterri Bottas as she was stuck in fourth place, with the man battling against her, despite knowing that she was going to be his team mate for the next season.

Her car was alongside his as they both turned the corner together, with their cars narrowly avoiding making contact with each others.

For the second corner that they were alongside each other, Larissa was able to push her car ever so slightly ahead of the Mercedes, meaning that she was ahead of the Finnish man as they exited the corner.

Her car was running out of time to overtake both Sebastian and Lewis, who was in the lead, so the Brazilian decided to do something which was completely stupid.

She closed her eyes.

She had memorised the track in her mind ever since her father's death so she knew that it wasn't an issue in that sense, the only problem was, she would not know where the other two were going to be.

Her mind was picturing the track as if her eyes were open, so she had her foot flat to the floor and occasionally swerving whenever she had a feeling form in her gut.

And eventually, she approached the finish line.

____________________________________________________

"LARISSA COHEN WINS THE ITALIAN GRAND PRIX!"

Zahra Bailey screamed in happiness as she watched her best friend cross the line just ahead of Lewis Hamilton and Sebastian Vettel.

She had no idea how she had been able to do it, but she had.

Gina and Corinna hugged each other tightly as their girl had won her very first race in Formula One.

And it was the race that her father never finished.

Mick hugged his father with tears in his eyes as Michael cried with his tears flowing down his cheeks like a waterfall.

Michael let a sob leave his lips as he closed his eyes and was able to imagine Luiz smiling proudly down on his daughter, before nodding his head at his best friend for convincing his little girl to continue and to not give up.

Larissa climbed out of her car to collapse on the ground from her emotions overpowering her.

She pulled her helmet off from her head which was quickly followed by her balaclava, as she leant her head against the asphalt beneath her, with her throat letting a loud sob leave her.

She was pulled up and in to strong and reassuring arms as they lifted her in to the air, with their lips pressing soft kisses against her temple.

Her tear filled eyes opened just enough to see who it was that was smiling happily at her, and it caused another loud sob to leave her small body.

"Lew, I- I won."

"Hell yeah you did." Lewis Hamilton squeezed his sister as tightly as he could, with tears leaving his own eyes at the emotion that he felt.

He hated not speaking to his little sister, but he thought that it was best if he let her calm down but now he realised just how much damage that their argument had done to her mental health.

"I did it, Uncle Micky. I won for dad." Larissa sobbed quietly as her brother placed her on the ground so that her uncle Sebastian could run towards her and hug her.

Sebastian Vettel ran as fast as he could from his car to hug his beloved niece, and spun her around as his arms clasped around her small body.

"I told you that you could do it, kiddo." Sebastian pressed multiple kisses to her cheeks and to the top of her head, hearing her sobs become slightly quieter.

Kimi Raikonnen ran alongside Fernando Alonso to hug their niece, followed by Lucy Appleton and Daniel Ricciardo.

Daniel barrelled in to his best friend, nearly causing her to fall to the ground from how hard he had ran in to her and frantically pulled her against his chest.

A small sound of somebody clearing their throat caused the two of them to pull away from each other to see Michael Schumacher smiling Priddy at his niece.

The large group of people watched as Michael grimaced as he forced his body to move, trying to stand up so that he could hug his niece properly.

"Y- you won."

Michael smiled as he was able to stand up on his feet to hug his niece, whilst he pressed a small kiss to the top of her head, before he was forced to sit back down in his wheel chair since his body was still incredibly weak.

"I did it for dad, didn't I? I won for him." Larissa cried as her friends and family each pulled her in to multiple hugs.

Pierre, Zahra and Esteban soon joined the large group, with the Ocon man being the first to lift her up in to the air.

"Lar, I'm so proud of you." Esteban spoke with a timid voice, since he had cried inside of his car as soon as he had been told that his best friend had won.

"Let's go and get you on your podium." Lewis held her hand as Pierre and Zahra quickly gave the girl hugs before she was forced to go to the podium ceremony.

As she accepted her trophy on her first place podium, she lifted it in to the air as her head stared straight up in to the sky.

"Eu fiz isso pai!  Eu ganhei por você!"

As Larissa's teary eyes drifted down to the crowd beneath her, she noticed all of the people that cared for her staring up at her filled with pride.

There was Charles, Kevin, George, Zahra, Pierre, Daniel, Mick, Michael, Yuki, Arthur, Lorenzo, Lucy, Esteban, and so many more.

But one person caught her eye, as she found them waving at her with a smirk on their face.

Her grandfather.

____________________________________________________

A/N

SPONTANEOUS PIECE OF SHIT TIME

I CRIED

Ya'll our girl won.

What do you guys think of the cover by the way?

Did you really think that I would kill off my girl without giving her justice for her father?

Absolutely fucking not.

André, lnow that your time is limited. She is coming for you with a vengeance.

Check out all of my other books because I've added a bunch of books, since I want pretty much every driver on the current grid to have their own book.

(Except Fernando. I can't bring myself to do it.)

NYCK DE VRIES IS COMING IN TO FORMULA ONE!!

It means that I don't have just one Dutch driver to support anymore which I am incredibly happy about. (This aged well)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this

I'm proud of every single one of you

Love you all,

-RUBY