The next day, Zayn hoped Perrie would still approach her like always despite what he did. He was just so used to her presence suddenly popping beside him everywhere at school.

So when he finally saw her walking towards his way, his heart raced. She wasn't looking at him, but he guessed she already saw him because, why else would she be walking towards him, right?

Wrong.

She was almost two feet away from him and not once did she lift her head up. And Zayn was almost certain she wasn't walking towards him but past him. But he was so determined and he reasoned himself that she just hasn't seen him yet so he did a thing that would get her attention.

He purposely bumped into her.

The books she was carrying went flying away so she immediately crouched down to pick them all. Zayn kind of expected it so he helped her pick up her books and uttered a loud 'here' to make sure she knew it was him then maybe she'd look up and smile at him or just acknowledge his presence.

She did no such thing.

She just thanked him without looking and quickly walked away leaving Zayn feeling his heart drop.

His friends arrived and was wondering the same thing Zayn did, why was Perrie walking away from his Zayn?

He knew she knew it was him, she was just avoiding him.

**

Zayn then felt a bigger fear engulf his entirety. As scared as he was of commitments, losing Perrie was his biggest fear. She was the only constant thing in his life.

He tugged at his hair harshly, not minding if it was ruined as he felt so stupid and, as he said, idiotic. He felt the urge to cry but he wouldn't yet. He wasn't accepting defeat yet.

He quickly put Perrie's ring back in place and closed the box before running to his car as fast as he can. Then, he drove back to the hotel. He didn't know what he'd do but he wasn't going to give up yet.

He has pushed her so many times before but she stayed through it all, how could he think of her leaving him?

It was probably all too late by now, but he wouldn't know unless he find out by himself. He would do anything just to keep the only contant thing in his life -- her. And if that meant marrying her, then so be it.

Thinking about it, being married to Perrie wasn't that bad. He would wake up every morning and the first thing he'd see would be her, his wife. And then he thought about little Zayns and little Perries running around their own house making his heart swell. They probably have to face problems but he shouldn't have to worry because as long as Perrie was there to be his rock as always, they'd make it through together.

So no, it wasn't bad at all.

**

Prom was nearing and everyone of her friends already asked their girls to be their date. Louis has Eleanor, Liam has Sophia, Niall has Celine and Harry, even Harry has a date already, a girl named Cara.

But then there was Zayn.

His friends were all pushing him to ask Perrie but he just couldn't. He was certain she hated his guts by now, so as much as he wanted to, no would do. He guessed he would just miss this year's prom because how pathetic is it to go without a date? Okay not really pathetic but if all your friends have dates and you don't then that's pathetic, Zayn thought.

So he spent all week listening to his friends talking about how they did their prom-posals and how the girls reacted to it, silently wondering if Perrie would do the same.

He was doing fine, until he saw her in the middle of the football field, with Luke who was holding a bouquet of flower infront of her and with seven people behind him, each holding a balloon that each has a word written on it. Together, it said 'Would you go to prom with me?'

**

In short, Zayn was pathetic. He went to prom alone with his friends who had their own dates. But Zayn didn't mind, as long as he get to snatch Perrie from Luke and tell her what he wanted to.

It was already halfway through the night and he still hadn't seen Perrie, how would he steal her when she was nowhere in sight? He was about to give up when he saw Luke dancing with a girl. Zayn was about to tug that girl away but he saw as clear as a day that it wasn't his Perrie. Okay so Perrie wasn't his, but that was not the point. Well, she wasn't his yet, but he planned to change that tonight. Still not the point.

He tapped on Luke's shoulder to get his attention.

"Zayn," Luke stopped dancing and turned to him, "Something wrong?"

"Where's Perrie?" Zayn asked bluntly.

"What?" Luke asked in confusion.

"Perrie, where is she?" Zayn repeated, annoyed at the possibility that he ditched her even though he planned to do that to him with her, "Did you ditch her?!"

"What? No! She's not my date."

"But I saw your prom proposal?" Zayn asked, the image playing again and again in his mind.

"If you really have seen that, then you also probably saw her rejecting me?" Luke asked making Zayn's heart drop once more. If Perrie wasn't with Luke then where was she?

Zayn suddenly turned around and squeezed through the mass of people and ran towards the exit. He passed by his friends asking where he was headed to but he just uttered a rushed 'somewhere important'. He got into his car and drove away, determined to make a complete turn around for this night.

When he got there, he walked towards the front porch and rang the doorbell. With his hands tucked inside his pockets, he waited patiently for someone to open the door. A minute later, the door finally swung open and revealed the girl he was waiting for so long to see tonight.

**

Zayn quietly opened Perrie's hotel room and peeked inside. It's bad luck to see your bride before the wedding but technically, the wedding didn't happen so he didn't care.

Perrie was sitting on the edge of the bed, still wearing her white bridal gown and her veil that has a flower crown attached to it, sitting on top of her dirty blonde perfectly-curled hair, cascading down her shoulders and shaping her beautiful face. She was playing with her bouquet of various kinds of flowers and that kind of completed the picture. He thought she was glowing like the bloody sun and he was certain he was seeing thousands of glittery particles swirling all around her and he haven't even seen her walk the aisle. How could he miss this sight of her just for a petty reason? She almost looked magical, it took his breath away. Almost.

Except there was something missing.

She was missing her spark, the awe held by her eyes. Her enthusiam was nowhere to be seen, so as her smile. Her eyes almost looked hollow and it showed not even the slightest bit of emotion.

Zayn wouldn't even ask. He knew very much so.

He silently walked in and stood infront of her until her eyes flickered from the floor up to his eyes and he felt like he was being stared at through his soul.

"Zayn," she whispered neutrally.

**

"Zayn," she closed the door behind her after walking out, "What are you doing here?" she asked in surprise, her annoyance showing.

"I- um," Zayn stammered. She was right, what was he doing here? "Why didn't you go to the prom?" he asked.

"None of your business."

"Luke asked you to be his date," Zayn noted, "Why did you say no?"

Perrie sighed, "Because I didn't want to go. Why do you care anyway?"

"Bullsh*t. Why didn't you go, Perrie?" Zayn asked a little firmer this time.

"Well, maybe because I didn't want to see you with someone that's not me!" Perrie snapped.

He was taken aback. She thought he asked someone else to prom.

"I'm sorry."

**

Perrie just laughed at him though something told him it wasn't because she thought him apologizing was something humorous.

"Sorry?! You're sorry?!" She scoffed, "That isn't what you were supposed to say today, Zayn."

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. No, he wouldn't think of the worst. It would all be alright. This would work out, it always works out.

"I know I was stupid but I was scared--"

"You don't get to be scared! I was the one who got stood up on my own f*cking wedding!" she yelled.

Zayn rubbed his face out of frustration. He just wanted to make her understand. But how was he supposed to do that when he couldn't even understand himself? "I'm a f*cking coward, okay! I'm sorry for being afraid of something long-term but I am! I'm scared that if this wouldn't work out, you'd leave me--"

"So you left me instead?! I was scared too, Zayn! But I love you enough to face that fear!" Perrie cried out, "You on the other hand, was so scared of being left behind that you'd rather be the first one to leave."

"I-It's not like that," he croaked out.

"Why did you even ask me to marry you when you don't think we can make this work?" she sighed, "I was all in, Zayn. Right from the start..."

Was? Zayn knew where this conversation was going but he wouldn't let it get to that. They could sort this out. Their relationship could still be saved.

"No, no, no. We can still get married! If you want, we can do it first thing tomorrow morning. O-or today, right now! I have the rings, look!" Zayn frantically patted his pockets in-search of the box containing their rings but they were nowhere to be found. He was growing more and more aggravated so he gave up and just kneeled infront of her and looked up with pleading eyes, "I can still marry you. I want to marry you. Please, please say you still want to, Pez."

**

"What for?" she asked.

"J-just, for pushing you away. For hurting your feelings," Zayn looked down.

"Um, it's okay. I guess." she said.

Zayn's head snapped up at that, "No. It isn't okay, love." he hadn't realize what he said until he saw Perrie blushing and trying not to smile, making him smile, too. "If it makes you feel better, I took back your cupcakes from Niall and ate them all myself."

"You're kidding."

"Am not, I swear! It took a lot of forcing but I managed to take it back. He was so upset, he cried beside me while I eat." Zayn laughed making Perrie giggle.

"You said you don't eat cupcakes." she asked.

"I lied. They were pretty good by the way." he lied once more. It was more than just 'pretty good'.

They stopped talking but somehow, Perrie kept looking at Zayn with a smile on her face. Usually, this would've annoyed him, but he just smiled back and asked, "What?"

"Nothing, it's just that," she looked away, "This is the most time you've talked to me."

Zayn sighed, wondering why he always avoided her when she did nothing wrong but try to get him to talk to her.

"I was about to ask you." he blurted out.

"Huh?"

"To prom. I was about to ask you to prom but Pasqualino beat me to it." He confessed.

She creased her brows, "No you weren't."

"I was- you know what, let me just do it now."

"What--"

Zayn pulled out the little corsage from his suit pocket that made Perrie briefly wonder how it wasn't crushed, "Perrie Edwards, will you go to prom with me?" he asked.

"I-I," she stuttered, "But I look like sh*t, I'm not even prepared and I-- I can't go!"

"Shh, babe," Perrie blushed, "If you can't go prom, I'll bring prom to you." he picked up his phone and played the song Thinking Out Loud, "So, let me ask again. Will you be my date?" he asked once more.

Perrie was certain her face was gonna split in half with how wide she was grinning. She nodded.

"Yes."

And then, in the midst of the night while the breeze danced along the two of them, marked the day when Perrie became the constant thing on Zayn's life.

"I'm glad I didn't have to go with my plans to snatch you from Luke tonight."

**

"Hi, Niall. Hi, Harry. Hi, Liam. Hi, Louis," Perrie waved at them before walking close to Zayn, "Hey, Zaynie."

"Hey Pez," Zayn said with a stiff smile.

His friends teased them a little bit, something that they were used to now, before bidding goodbye.

Perrie was suspicious of how Zayn was acting today so he asked him about it, "What's with you?"

"Nothing," he answered a little too quickly.

"Okay seriously, what's up?" she asked again, not buying it.

"Um, well. Do you- would- will you," Zayn sighed, "Will you go out on a date with me?"

Perrie, just like the prom night, grinned so wide his face felt like it'd split in half.

"Yes!"

**

They were dating for months now and Perrie just wanted to make it official. Although she didn't want to make the first move. They were just strolling in a park holding each other's hand talking about anything and everything.

"--yeah? And the jellyfish looks like--"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"--sure, ofcouse," Perrie responded without thinking, "Wait, oh my gosh, what?"

"Be my girlfriend?" Zayn asked again.

"Definitely!" she answered too excitedly, "I mean, yes, ofcourse."

**

They were a thing for three years now and Zayn planned a little something.

Okay, maybe not little.

Zayn had prepared a rooftop dinner date which ended up to stargazing. They laid under the glimmering stars, staring up and looking for constellations when Zayn decided it was the perfect timing though he was having second thoughts. He loved her and that's what he focused on and pushed all those thoughts in the back of his mind.

"Perrie," he called out.

She looked at him beside her and all air wad knocked out of her. He was leaning up on one elbow while his other hand was holding up a ring.

"Will you marry me?"

Tears were brimming in her eyes but she shakily nodded, "Yes. Yes, I will, Zayn."

**

He was hopeful she'd still say yes. She must. She always has, afterall. And that made her Zayn's constant. She never left his side and supported him through the years. She must say yes.

"No."

And just like that, Zayn felt like his whole world came crashing down.

"W-what?" He stupidly asked, "B-but--"

"I love you, Zayn," she sighed, "But you lost the chance to marry me when you decided to stood me up on our wedding a while ago."

"You can't leave me, Pez. I-I, you're my life. I need you! I can wait till you're ready again, but please don't tell me it's over yet." Zayn pleaded.

"I can't!" she sobbed, "I'm tired of proving you I can be by your side through everything and still have you doubting me! Us!" she paused and hiccuped, "I'm just, I'm so tired of not having your one hundred percent when I give more than that, Zayn." she stomped her feet and stood up. She harshly yanked her veil and started to take off her gown, which she couldn't and that made her break down and cry even more in frustration.

She was right though, and he knew it. It was always her who put so much effort in their relationship and he had always been hesitant and never met her halfway. He wouldn't blame her if she felt that because she was right.

Zayn walked towards her and hugged her shaking figure and uttered a mantra of, "I'm sorry."

"You were supposed to say 'I do', Zayn. We were supposed to get married and build a family together. A life together." She croaked which made Zayn's tears fall even more.

"I love you." he sobbed. That was the only thing he could say. He felt like he just needed to remind her.

But that just made her escape from his embrace and stand up. He looked up and saw her walking towards the door and he immediately knew what was coming.

"Don't leave me." He uttered weakly, knowing she has every right, but still that didn't stop his heart from breaking.

She stopped, took off her engagement ring she had yet to take off until now, and dropped it to the ground.

"You were the first to leave me behind, Zayn."

Then she left without even looking back.

She left Zayn alone with her wedding veil and engagement ring lying on the floor, reminding him of what he was so afraid of that cost him the lifetime he could've shared with her.

You never really know what you had until it's gone.

**

Said I'm gonna leave
But I'm never leavin'
Now I know that I really don't need
You had your fun
Now the party's done
And you beg on the floor
As I walk out the door
Boy we're through, oh

The End

A/N: see what I did there? Lmao anyway, the ending suck ik don't kill me :(

I've officially finished writing a book! How crazy is that?! Omg!! To everyone who voted, commented, and read this book and are still about to, that really mean so much and I love you with all my heart. If you like, check out my other stories :) (now I can finally focus on updating my elounor fic lmao) and befriend me! I want new friends :) Ciao x