Matthews Dunlop.

Sigh.

My heart and my mind seemed not to be working together. When the heart says no, my mind says otherwise, leaving me to decide who to go with or not. Now it was time for school, there I was lying flat on the bed in my room. I lost all strength thinking I was still going to meet Elena and Clara in school today.

Elena wasn't a problem. She was aware I didn't want to talk to her at the moment when it came to my knowledge that she kissed someone else. Someone I could have never gotten insecure of. Deep down I was hurt. It looked like she moved on so fast and never regarded me as her buddy anymore or maybe I took the message wrongly.

Clara came into the picture when I called her in my vulnerable state. It was something I never thought of doing. My mind went blank in class after Elena got honest with me but I couldn't take it. It wasn't even closing time before I left for home after school hours. My appetite was lost and my head felt like it carried a load on it, so heavy and yet empty. I never had many friends around to share my grieving state with except for Elena. Being the one who broke my heart, no one lent a shoulder to cry on. Things like this made me wish I had an elder sibling.

It wasn't hard being the only child of my parent since I was getting the love and attention all to myself. Nothing occurred to me that I will need anyone to fight for me or have my back because I was able to stand up for myself and my friends. Now I was shattered, lying flat on the bed like a corpse seeking life. I shouldn't be blamed for having Clara to talk to last night.

In a way, she helped, or did she? All she tried to do was to gain body contact when I was in my moment. A little bit disgusted I must say, that I settled for less when I should have dealt with my problem solo.

This morning felt kind of different and for the first time in a while, Mom didn't come to my room to get my ass up for school. She was known sometimes for monitoring my school work and getting to know if I was struggling with any of my classes and school work. I was her only son, after all, she wanted what was best for me.

Things like this kept ringing in my head, a reason not to ever disappoint her no matter the situation or consequences it might cost me. My clothes for the day were well washed and ironed and hung in my closet. My lazy self just had one job, getting the clothes on me.

I pushed myself to cross my strength limit and reached out to my clothes. Standing in front of the mirror, I dressed myself up and looked at the outcome. It reflected a young boy looking pale in average school wear. This was still manageable to deal with since I wasn't insecure about my looks.

The scent coming from the kitchen for me salivate as I walked down the stairs. I didn't lie to myself, it smelled so good and I wanted my tongue on them. Walking to the kitchen, I sighted mom trying to taste her meal and I could tell from her reaction afterward that it was delicious.

"Good morning mom," I greeted, leaving a kiss on her cheek while she stirred the meal in the pot. It was a pan filled with tomato sauce which went with rice perfectly.

"My baby. How are you?" She rubbed her cheek next to mine as she asked about my wellbeing.

"I'm fine mom," I replied. "But I'm hungry. Can I have something on a plate before I leave?"

"Matthews. I made this for your lunch," The one thing ruining this perfect moment. "You were taking time to come out and I didn't want to get into your space." It seemed weird that mom wasn't intruding into my space. Don't get me wrong, she was full of love and care and because she was overprotective a little bit, she would always want to know what was wrong with her son.

"Mom comes on," I grumbled and folded my hands like a child. She wasn't ready to give in to my demands.

"You can be such a baby," Mom teased. "You know what? I'll add extra to the one I packed for lunch."

"Mom but we have a cafeteria where we get served for lunch in school. Have you forgotten?" She wasn't one of those who forgot things easily but I had to bring them to her remembrance.

"I'm aware," She made it known to me. "But you can't keep eating what they give you every day. Mama's food is always the best," She handed me a box with lunch in it and pecked me on my cheek.

"Look at the time Matthews. You better get going." Mom just had to be a killjoy. I had it in mind to eat my prepared lunch a little bit early, then eat what they served for lunch at the cafeteria when it was time for a break.

"Bye Mom." I waved and exited through the door.

Getting to school today didn't cost me a lot of time even though I decided to get there on my feet. Everyone coming through the entrance looked busy with their side talks with their partners, siblings, or who they gave to school with. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I overheard most of them talking about the upcoming school play that was going to be headlined in the school hall.

Teachers have been busy coming up with decorations ideas which some students also helped out with. There were obvious as also the corridor leading to the school's main hall was decorated. I walked through the corridor, gazing at the wonderful piece of art placed on the walls of the school. Nothing beat the eye more than admiring something beautiful, not until my eyes caught something.

Elena was seen with who I didn't trust at all, Daniel. I stood far away, trying not to be seen, staring at them with so much fierce in my eyes as I tried to stay composed which prevented me from making a scene. They looked like they were having an interesting conversation since she was giggling and smiling at him. At that moment, my curiosity was about to get the better of me. This time around, I needed to know what they were talking about even if it would cost me to ruin the smiles I was jealous of seeing.

"Hello, guys," Shoving a fake smile to their faces after walking towards them from where I was. They all had their faces in confusion since they didn't expect me to be there.

"Hey, Matthews. How are you doing?" Matthews asked while giving back the same energy which got a smile on him. Elena stood by his side, out of words to say.

"I'm doing fine, thank you. It's so obvious you guys are doing fine. Smiling and giggling from afar," I had to state the obvious from which I saw earlier. That should get me to know what I was looking for.

"Oh right. We were just talking about the school play and how we planned on pulling it off. It hasn't been easy, well for Elena. She's tensed about it," He said but I had that oh-really look on me. I wasn't buying what he was saying, so much for trust issues.

"Is that so?" I said, still trying to hold my smile together while I looked at Elena to get my answer but it was getting me nowhere.

"Yes. Make sure you attend the play and see Elena in action," He said and took his exit. I have no words to say but have regrets for acting in this saucy manner. One thing I had to do was to get to class and forget this whole thing never happened.

I exited immediately after Daniel left and went straight to class. It was still having some empty seats in it. I occupied one of the seats close to the windows which I was comfortable with and rested my head on the desk. I didn't lie to myself when I made it known that I was tired deep down and also losing my mind. A chilled glass of cold orange juice would hit the spot right now but I couldn't access one at that moment. The tension was easing down at last till someone rapped me softly on my right arm.

My head was still resting on the desk and I didn't ask who it was but concluded that it was Elena who tried to talk to me since we didn't say much earlier. I chose to ignore it the first time until the tapping was done repeatedly.

"Elena leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you," I murmured whole my face was resting on the desk. I was tapped again by the same person just for me to raise my head to realize who it was.

"I don't know why you'd think I'm Elena though," Clara said with a short smile on her face but I was disgusted just at the sight of it. I wondered what she could be doing here.

"I didn't look at who it was before answering and why are you disturbing me when you know I'm taking a nap?" I asked with aggression. I hated when my resting time get interrupted.

"I just wanted to see if you are okay. You didn't talk much yesterday when you called me over," Now she was getting the wrong idea about what happened the previous day.

"Yes, I didn't say much because I realized I shouldn't have called you to talk about my problems."

"And why is that?" She asked while looking a bit confused.

"Because we aren't friends. And I think I'll like to keep it that way," I had to come clean to her before her mindset got twisted.

"So why did you call me over? You were trying to use me to get over the issues you had with your bitch?" I could see her anger running through her veins, making her spill cursed very insensitive words.

"I'll like you to watch your mouth, Clara. I don't tolerate that kind of disrespect towards my girl."

"Your girl? I think you've forgotten you guys broke up. And besides, I'm still here. I was here first. I deserve all the love she's getting right now," Our conversations were getting heated and eyes from our classmates all around were attracted to us.

"If you can't deal with the fact that I love Elena, then that's your problem," I made it known to her and rested my head back on the table. Her words kept giving me headaches and I hated it.

"Come on. I love you," She whispered into my ears, caressing her hands around my back. This got me heated up and I was about to do something that'd get the attention of everyone in the class.

"Get your hands off me!" I exclaimed, pushing her hands to the ground remorselessly. No one was allowed to touch me like that without my consent. Irritating as fuck. Everyone gasped in their seat at what their eyes just witnessed. At the same time, Elena walked into the class, looking at Clara flat to the ground, wondering what must have gone wrong while she was absent.

Clara got herself up from the ground and dusted the dirt from her skirt. She looked at Elena while she frowned and turned towards me with her face all fierce. I was sure I woke up the devil in her which wasn't my intention from the start. Only if she has respected my preference, none of this would have happened.

"I'll get you for this Matthews. I'll get you for this!" She stormed her feet out of the class while I sat back in my seat. Elena soon came along to join me on the desk but words weren't said and eyes contacts couldn't be maintained. All I wished was for the argument to vanish away.