Chapter 17 - He Saved Me

Tobias

"Good morning, Tris." I smile walking into the room. She blankly looks in my direction but her eyes never meet mine.

I sit down and take her hand in mine, but like yesterday she doesn't really hold it back, she just lets it sit there. It's just so hard to constantly see her in such pain.

"You're going to be okay, I know it. You are so strong and brave, and you have a really good and nice doctor that is going to do everything she can for you. I love you so much, Tris."

It's really hard to talk when she doesn't reply. I just never know what to say and I'm always wondering if she can even hear me or if she cares.

I'm sure all her mind is focused on is the pain, but I just don't know what to do.

Dr. Scott said that the best thing to do is just keep talking, that the sound of my voice is all it takes to make her calm, but what happens when you don't know how to keep talking?

"You know, everything is so different now. There still is the factions; we did try going without them but everything just fell apart. Divergents are accepted, and actually honored to most of us being faction leaders. GP's and GD's still really don't matter here. It's still just Divergents and non-Divergents. Just like before, if you defy sims or partially do like me, you're divergent, if you don't, you're not. I guess the Bureau did come up with some kind of theory on people over ninety percent Pure can defy sims but not be considered a GP, so I guess that's where I fall into. But thankfully, none of that matters here. No percents, no complications, no theories, nothing. It's such an easier way of living compared to the Bureau."

"Dauntless has such a better new leader. His name is Josh. You'd be amazed on how quickly he turned Dauntless from its old self into a prospering somewhat safe and sane faction. It's so much better than Max and Eric in charge. Josh is the main leader, but there is also five co-leaders of Dauntless and I am one of them. Amar was offered a leader position as well, but he decided to take on being an Ambassador with Tori's brother George."

I am about to go on telling her how George and Amar got married but there is a soft knock on the door.

"Hello." A middle aged nurse with blonde hair pulled back walks in smiling at me. "You must be Four. I'm Julie, Tris's nurse. Dr. Scott told me about you. It's nice to meet you." She puts her hand out for me to shake and I do.

"Nice to meet you too." I smile.

"I'm guessing it's time for me to go." I say.

"Yeah." She sadly smiles. "We'll let you come back in later today probably."

"Okay. I'll be around here somewhere."

I rub the top of Tris's hand with my thumb and lean down and kiss the side of her forehead.

"I'll see you later. I love you." I whisper in her ear.

As I am just about to let go of her hand, she grips it, clearly as a sign of her not wanting me to leave.

"It's okay, Tris. I'll be back later. You'll be fine."

"Please, no." She whispers in a raspy voice.

My heart sinks.

I am shocked, hearing her voice for the first time in a long time. I look over at Julie and she too has a surprised look on her face.

"Please, no. Please, no. Please no. Please, no. Please, no." She says over and over again the the raspy tone as she squeezes her eyes shut and begins to shake.

"It's okay Tris. Shhh. It's okay." I sit back down and stroke her hair.

Could it of been something I said that set her off?

She continues to say the same two words over and over again while trembling.

"I have to go Tris. Don't worry, Julie and Dr. Scott are both very nice people. You're safe with them. I'll be right out in the waiting room if you need me, but you'll be fine with them." I try to keep my voice calm and steady but instead it comes out rushed and panicked.

I lean down again and kiss her on the side of her forehead and whisper in her ear, "Be brave, Tris. I love you."

She stills at recognizing the same words I told her before her first fear landscape. I slip her hand from mine and walk out the door, hearing her begin to panic again makes me want to turn back, but I know I can't. This is to make her better, and me being there doesn't help anything.

I take the same seat I've stayed in out in the waiting room for days and take in all of the holiday reds and greens lived with Erudite blues that have been put up last night.

I watch the clock go by, only getting up once to get some food in their cafeteria and take a bathroom break around noon. When I return I see that some Erudite have begun to decorate again. This time it is the evergreen tree that has been sitting bare since I've arrived.

I watch as they begin to put the small varied shades of blue glass balls on the tree after they had put some lights on it.

I don't think I'll ever get use to celebrating holidays.

Time goes by and soon enough the two trees on either side of the waiting room are both finished. The people only managed to break two of the glistening blue balls in the process. As it begins to grow darker outside, someone turns on the lights.

I try and not look stupid when the whole room illuminates in beautiful lights. The blues from the trees reflect onto the floor as the green garlands seem to glimmer with their red bows.

I've never seen anything like it in my life.

Yes, holidays have been celebrated in Dauntless now a days, but that usually results in unlit garland on some railings, a small unlit tree in the main building and a bigger unlit tree in the cafeteria.

This. This is something else.

I wonder what Tris is going to think about all of this when she finally gets to see it?

She has even less knowledge of holidays than I do.

I notice that now the only lights than are on are the holiday ones. They have turned off the big lights on the ceiling that illuminate the room in a more efficient, but less beautiful way.

My phone starts to buzz and I take it out of my pocket, seeing that it is Josh. I pick it up.

"Hi." I say.

"Hey, Four. Just calling to see how things are going. I've heard some things from Zeke since he came home this morning, so I had figured I should give you a call. Is now an okay time?"

"Yeah. I've just been waiting around since this morning for Tris's doctor. They had to do tests on her today, but I got to sit with her earlier this morning beforehand. So if her doctor shows up I may have to cut you short if that's okay."

"Of course."

"So. How's everything back at the compound?" I ask.

"Pretty good. Everything has calmed down more now that the rescue is over, which is very good. We are going to be having another big combined leader meeting sometime next week. I know that you have a lot on your plate right now, but it'd be great it if you could make it. I totally understand if you can't, but it'd be nice to have another dauntless representative there."

"I'll see what I can do."

"Okay."

There's a small silence, neither of us knowing what to say next.

"Evelyn brought Indiana in with her to work yesterday. It was fun to meet him again. Boy, he is such a crazy dog." He chuckles. "We ended up closing the main doors and just letting him run around the whole main building. Of course, we let everyone know that he was around. Most people left their office doors open and he'd run right in and give them a visit. When he came in my office he ended up falling asleep on the floor for about an hour. You should see how big he's gotten. He's grown a lot since you've been gone."

I laugh. "I can only imagine. I miss him a lot."

"I can tell he misses you too. When he first showed up, he was whining outside your office door and trying to get in it. I unlocked it for him and I could tell he was upset you weren't in there. Throughout the day he'd periodically check in there to see if you were there. He's such a nice dog. It's really cute to see how much he cares about you. He sure is smart."

"Yeah.." I say my mind wandering.

"Hey. I'm sorry but I have to go. I'll call you again some time, okay?" He says.

"Sure. Talk to you later."

I hang up.

My mind drifts back to when I got Indy.

That was around seven months ago.

That was before all of this even began.

Way before I knew Tris was even alive somewhere out there.

He had saved any kind of sanity I had left in me.

Now look, seven months in the future.

Seven crazy months in the future.

I just can't wait for Tris and Indy to finally meet.

Maybe he can save her like he saved me.

No.

I know he can save her like he saved me.