Jack finished off his water, trying to figure out what he wanted to say.  He looked again at Kelsey, who sat, one leg under her body, watching him.

She'd undone her hair so it could dry, and brushed it, so it hung down her back. Her long legs were gaining a little tone, though they still weren't the muscular swimmers' legs he was used to seeing on women. They'd also turned a nice color, like tea with lots of cream, a shade or two lighter than her shoulders and arms, which also had more definition than before. They were in nice contrast to her bright yellow tank top. He could smell her, some sort of conditioner or deodorant or something, from where he sat, and it was making him kind of dizzy. He tried not to think of her pretty breasts, which were pressing against the front of the canary-colored fabric, blooming out from her torso.

Normally, when he had the kind of dream he'd just had that morning, it took the edge off, and he was able to handle sexual feelings and thoughts fairly well, at least for the rest of the day; in the past, he could hit the pool, work out hard for a few hours, and sleep like a baby with no thoughts about women, how they smelled, their breasts, or any of that nonsense. Kelsey had turned his world topsy-turvy, however, and it took every ounce of willpower he had to keep his mind on what she'd asked, and not just let his imagination run wild and picture her sitting there naked.

"I don't know," he finally said, feeling idiotic as he said the words, feeling inadequate, feeling useless, feeling like a ninny.

"You don't know?" Kelsey repeated. Her eyes widened in disbelief and she looked around the room while she tried to corral her emotions. She wasn't sure what to do. A simple "yes" or "no" she could understand, she could deal with; "I don't know" was out of her purview completely.

"Yeah," Jack said, setting his empty bottle on the table. "Look, I wasn't expecting all this, you know? For whatever reason, sex has been a non-issue in my life until now, and I just figured it would be easier if I just left it that way for a while, until--"

"Until when?" Kelsey asked. She leaned forward, and now Jack could see down the front of her shirt a little, though he really didn't want to. Her breasts weren't the skimpy kind, where the body just took what little fatty tissue was available to make what was necessary for a female, like some athlete's; Kelsey's looked curved and round and soft, generous and abundant, regardless of their relatively petite size. How had Jack not noticed all this before? And why was he noticing it now? He'd been the water with her for hundreds of hours when she was wearing nothing but a soaking wet Speedo, for crying out loud. He tore his eyes away from her front and focused desperately on her face.

"Huh? Until--until, I don't know, until later?" He thought. "Until after I graduated, I guess."

"Until after you graduated?" Kelsey repeated his words again. She exhaled, huffing out a huge breath as she looked around. "You want to be a twenty-two year old college graduate of one of the premiere party schools in Southern California before you ever think about popping your cherry?"

Jack made a face at her use of the term.

"Oh, sorry, did I offend you?" she asked, crossing her arms, leaning back.

"Hey, what are you getting mad about?" he asked, staring at her.

"I'm getting mad to keep from crying," she replied. "In all the ways I imagined me kissing you ending up, this wasn't even on the list, okay?" She looked away. "Fuck," she muttered. "I feel so stupid."

She rose. "In fact, if you don't mind, I really don't feel like talking about this anymore, okay? Can we just forget I kissed you? Let's just forget all of it, okay?" She could feel the tears coming, the tightening in the back of her throat, the burning in her eyes. She flapped a hand toward the door. "Just let yourself out, okay?"

And she turned and walked quickly out, head up, back straight, moving fleetly up the stairs.

Jack sat back, slumping into the cushions.

While they'd been talking, the day had worn away to beautiful dusk, another gorgeous sunset, capping off another perfect summer day. He looked around the nicely decorated room, thinking about his options..

He knew what he should do. What he should do was go back to his house, cook up some dinner, watch a movie, maybe jerk off if he couldn't sleep, and just forget about all this, let it blow over. Getting involved with the girl who was probably crying upstairs would be a mistake on so many levels, it didn't even bear thinking about.

On a professional level, getting "involved" with someone he worked with, someone he worked for, was idiotic. If it went south, the job went with it, the money, any future work, he could kiss it all goodbye.

On a personal level, dealing with all of it, the idea of actually being with someone, was terrifying. He felt like a fumbling, clumsy, thirteen year old kid, dragging his foot and saying "aw shucks." He looked like he should know everything. He was built, he knew that. He was a college jock, in the prime of his partying life; anyone he was with would expect him to know what he was doing, to be really good at everything.

And this wasn't just anyone, either. She was a movie starlet, a supermodel at fifteen, a bonafide sex symbol at twenty, a multimillionaire superstar. She would expect her mind to be blown, especially by a college jock with a body to die for.

But he knew her. She was afraid of wasps. She liked presents, and colorful things. She was such a hard worker. And she was funny. And smart. And though he hadn't noticed it when they met, she was beautiful to him.

And she knew him, she knew Jack. She knew he blushed when she complimented him on his eyes. She knew he didn't want to paw at her body just because. She knew he wan't a party animal. She knew he was a virgin.

And she didn't care.

She wanted someone to watch movies with. To go grocery shopping with. To kill a wasp for her. To teach her how to swim. She had her pick of Hollywood people, of race car drivers. She wanted him.

Well, what she wanted, really, was a grown up. But what he'd given her was a hemming and hawing little kid, someone who bleated out "I don't know," like a stupid little sheep.

Grow up, Jack.

He rose and stood for long moments. The shadows outside were growing very long. He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror over the fireplace.

Grow up.

Yes.

He went up the stairs in her house for the second time, and knocked softly on her bedroom door. He waited a beat, then opened it and stepped in.

********************

He waited until his eyes adjusted to the gloom before moving. He could see her, lying on her bed, her forearm across her face.

She lifted her arm as he walked to her to regard him with reddened eyes.

"What?" she asked. "What do you want? I really want to be by myself right now, if you don't mind."

Jack stopped a few paces away from her bed. "Oh. I'm not sure what to do in this situation. I want to apologize and maybe change your mind about why you want to be alone, but I can't do that if I leave so you can be alone--"

Kelsey tried to laugh, but because she'd been crying, it came out as more of a snort, and she had to sit up and reach quickly for a tissue. She laughed while wiping her nose, and gestured him over to the bed.

He laughed too, and sat next to her. He didn't say anything, suddenly unsure how to proceed.

She gestured to him as she threw the tissue away. "So, go ahead and apologize, Jack. I'm ready." She stared at him expectantly, eyebrows raised.

Jack looked soberly into her eyes, then looked around the room before looking at her once more and nodding. He put a warm hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said simply. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier. You were only honest with me, and you had every right to expect me to be honest with you. But I wasn't, not really."

Kelsey looked at him in surprise.

"I mean, I was, kind of, in a half-assed way. I meant it when I said it wasn't a good idea to pursue, um, those things," he continued earnestly. "Everyone knows it's bad to be involved with people you work with. But there was also my own fear of all that stuff, I guess." He shrugged, a gesture which Kelsey found so endearing and cute that she had to hold herself back from just throwing herself on him and hugging him.

He moved his hand up to her face, and traced her jaw with his finger. "I had put all of this stuff away in a little box, and marked the box 'shit to deal with later,' and hidden it away, you know?" His hand had disappeared under her hair at the back of her neck, and she closed her eyes while nodding.

"It wasn't as hard as you'd think. I was the youngest, the shyest, the least good-looking brother. Everyone knew I was very religious and really into swimming, so people kind of left me alone." His voice had gotten softer, almost soothing, as he lifted her hair over her shoulder and smoothed it back from her temple. He moved forward and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. She leaned into it.

"So, I just became very good friends with my hand, and left the rest alone," he concluded with a little shrug.

Kelsey opened her eyes and smiled at him. She reached up and wrapped her hand around his wrist.

"Then I met you."

And though it was nearly dark, Kelsey could see that he was smiling back at her.

"Have you ever kissed anyone before?" she asked, speaking for the first time since he'd begun his funny apology.

He shook his head gently. "Not really. People have kissed me, I guess, but I've never kissed them back." She could see him arch his eyebrow. "There are some mighty aggressive ladies out there, you know? They just jump out and kiss you, like, out of nowhere, for real."

Kelsey laughed, a really good, long laugh, that shook her stomach and shoulders.

He pulled her closer and laid them down, so their heads were resting on the pillows of her bed. Their legs were tangled up together, and Jack could feel the cool whisper of the air conditioner against his flesh. Whatever he'd smelled earlier, downstairs, was much stronger now that she was so close, the floral fragrance filling his nostrils and making his head spin.

Her body was warm and soft against him, and when she spoke he could feel her breath against his neck.

"Jack? I'm on the pill. And I'm clean," she said. She sounded out of breath.

Her words made him blink in the darkness, and as he was thinking, the backyard lights came on as the sensors activated, and he could see her a little better.

"Oh," he finally said, looking into her serious eyes. "That's good, I guess, because I don't have any condoms, surprise surprise."

Kelsey rubbed her leg against his, and just this innocent action made Jack throb. He looked at her face. Her lips looked soft and dark, and suddenly he wanted to kiss her more than he wanted to breathe.

He leaned in, putting his thumb on her chin, and fitted his mouth to hers, letting out a sigh that he felt he'd been holding in all his life.

He felt her arm come around his neck as her leg came around his hip, and she pulled herself as close to him as she possibly could, making a small sound of eagerness that he felt all the way down his spine.

Her mouth was hot, and open, and so wet and deep. He felt her tongue along his lip, and opened his mouth a little so he could reach back with his own. His arms tightened around her of their own accord, and he pulled back a little so he could reach in farther and taste the inside of her.

They broke the kiss several times so they could change angles and reach in again and again, making mutual sounds of contentment, and Jack could feel his lips getting swollen, and hers too, and he wished he could see them, knowing her mouth would be absolutely beautiful.

"Touch my body, Jack," she murmured against his mouth, and he slid his hand under her shirt, moving it up the smooth flesh of her back. He felt the hooks of her bra, which came apart readily enough between his fingers.

"Are you sure you've never done this before?" she laughed as she slid the bra off from under her shirt.

"Maybe I'm just naturally gifted," he replied, pulling her so she was on top of him.

"Maybe you are," she replied, looking down at him in the faint light.

She bent down to kiss him once more, and they began again. He let his hand roam under her top, feeling the secret skin of her tummy, letting it slide up to feel the warm, soft flesh of her breast.

He could feel her breathing change when he touched her there, and wanted nothing more than to see her naked, to see his hand on her softness.

He put his hands at the hem of her shirt so he could lift it over her head, and she was reaching down to help him when they both heard her phone buzz from its place on her bedside table.

It was playing the theme from the old cartoon about the race car driver, "Speed Racer." At the same time, someone started ringing her doorbell, and they could both hear a man calling Kelsey's name.

"Oh, shit," said Kelsey.