No one knew the performance order until the house opened and programs were handed out; I was handed a copy at 6:00 and saw that I was last, which was good and bad, because my performance would be fresh in the judges' minds, but all of my mistakes would be fresh as well.

I wished I could see the boys' faces when they saw the program. None of them knew that I'd switched from the Mozart to the Beethoven, and none of them knew that I'd gone into the program as "Tinker Bell Foster", either.

The other performers saw me as we waited offstage, in chairs lined up along a corridor wall, and a couple of them actually blanched at the sight of my dress. I could only imagine what they were thinking. In the world of classical piano, it could almost be construed as sleeping with the casting director to get a part. I was going to walk onstage and sit down to play in a dress that showed leg and cleavage, and a lot of both, a dress bought at a thrift store on the Lower East Side. The piano gods that be must have been spinning in their graves. All of the other scholarship applicants were attired more conventionally, in dark, sober clothing, the girls looking positively sedate in their severe modesty. I stood out like a bird of paradise in their midst.

There was a bit of a flurry when one of us fainted. People came scurrying, the boy with the clipboard bringing water and a person with authority, who was hopefully a medical professional of some sort. She cleared space around him, a sandy blond with a beard. He looked quite a bit older than me, but then they all did, because I was the youngest ever to be accepted to compete.

Beard guy was revived, given a drink, and sat back down in his chair, looking embarrassed. And we all sat back again, crisis averted, to wait, and one by one, the chairs emptied, until I sat, alone. This was it, then.

I heard my name announced, took a deep breath, and walked out. I heard the gasps as people saw my dress. But I knew how I looked. And I knew how I looked to Teddy, and to my boys. I felt pretty. The rubies, sapphires, and diamonds flashed red, blue and white fire from my right ankle as I sat at the bench and adjusted it, and another, smaller gasp was heard as the dress rode up my thigh. My hair was pulled back into a simple pony tail, exposing my neck, with the hummingbird pendant dipping into the beginning of my cleavage in the low, round, neckline. There were still susurrations from the audience, probably about everything, from the ankle bracelet to my heels to my chest to my legs.

I began to feel a little uncomfortable.

No. Oh no. Not now. Come on, Foster. You were Tinker Bell. Better, you were Teddy's hummingbird, you were his Birdie.

I felt his hands on my shoulders, long fingers splayed out, caressing my collarbones. I could feel warm breath in my ear, whispering, "I love you, Birdie, so much, so much, let's do this, darling. Almost better than sex, don't you think?"

I placed my hands, hit the first chords, and took off, beginning a flight which I didn't even know I had in me.

I have no memory of playing any of it. My only memories of those next twenty-one minutes are of flying through darkness and stars with Teddy holding my shoulders, guiding me, pressing my collarbones, pushing on me, making me feel aroused, the crazy journey through the third movement pulling us down together. I played the closing, bringing us down, down, down, to thunderous applause.

The Teddy on my shoulders evaporated as I stood to take my bow, and I could see them, my boys, all looking so smooth and gorgeous in their suits, two rows behind the judges, who were the only people in the room still seated. They were marking papers, scoring rubrics, probably. I made eye contact with Teddy, who was smiling as he cried. He shook his head in amazement as he continued to clap. I saw him mouth the words 'I love you, so much,' though of course I couldn't hear him.

So now the plan was for everyone to vacate to the large room next door for a reception/party, mingling, drinking and eating hors d'oeuvres while waiting for the judges' results. The other seven candidates all made a point of approaching me and wishing me luck, which I was glad to accept and return. Everyone had been exceptional, in particular a girl from South Africa who had played an incredibly difficult piece by Schumann which I would never have even attempted. I was expecting more than a few snubs, which I received, but what I wasn't expecting were the high-fives and the appreciative thank yous.

"It's about time someone brought this whole process into the twenty-first century," a pretty blonde girl declared. "It's ridiculous. Why can't we express how we feel in our clothing, too? I mean, Yuja Wang is doing it, but she's a performer, she's got nothing to prove. For you to do it at an audition, that takes balls, man. Good for you!" She smiled at me. "Nice playing, too, Jesus, you blew that third movement out of the water! I personally think you should win, it just depends on the size of the pokers the judges have jammed up their asses, you know?" She smiled at me again. "Good luck, Tinker Bell."

At that moment, the boys entered the reception room, looking for me. Ronan saw me first, pointing me out, and they all came at me, not at a dead run, exactly, but at a very rapid clip, grinning like fools. They UK Crushed me, lifting me off my feet, a little boisterous, so happy. They put me down and stood around me, clapping. Teddy lifted me in a huge bear hug, kissing my cheek.

"I was so, so proud of you tonight," he whispered into my ear. And somehow the other boys just knew to be looking elsewhere. He put his arm around my waist and led me away from the throngs, out into a hallway that was deserted, where he took me in his arms and kissed me, making noises like he was eating the most delicious dessert or something. "Oh god, kissing you," breath, "is what heaven must be like," he murmured. More kissing ensued, like we were a couple of teenagers on a couch. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back, my world reduced to his mouth, his tongue. "And watching you play the piano in that dress, such a turn on, holy fuck. Your legs are just gorgeous, and they're right at eye level, you know? And the ankle bracelet just accentuates how tiny and perfect your little ankles are, just so pretty. And then watching you breathe, watching your beautiful front just, heaving, up and down, when you really got into it. I mean, it was just, wow." He was looking at me curiously. "What were you thinking about, hmm? Only it was just that sexy." He rubbed the top of my breast, the part that showed above the decolletage, with the back of his fingers.

I rubbed his lip with my index finger, briefly inserting it into his mouth. He sucked on it, closing his eyes and moaning.

"I was imagining you, standing behind me, like that first night in Japan, when you had your hands on me? When we rode the song together? That's what it felt like to me, anyway. I imagined you whispering in my ear that you love me."

He leaned forward. "I love you, Birdie, so, so much," he whispered in my ear. "Like that?" he continued, biting on my ear lobe, causing a shiver to go down my spine.

"Uh-huh," I murmured.

"Oh, I totally forgot to tell you something," I said with a smile, just as Gethin pushed open the door to the hallway.

"There you are," he said in fond exasperation. "You need to stop your snogging and get out here. Everyone's asking for you, your little professor's being inundated with questions, he can't handle all this on his own."

"What were you going to tell me?" he asked as we hustled toward the door.

I smiled placidly at him. "I have something in my purse to show you," I said.

He smiled for a moment, not understanding, then his smile evaporated as he remembered what those words meant. "Oh my fucking god," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder as we went through the door. I pulled his hand off my shoulder and held it as we walked over to the other boys. Ronan clasped my other hand.

"Nervous, darling?" he asked with a smile, though of course when he said it, it became the ever more beautiful "darlin".

"No, actually; I did my best, and I'm proud of what I did, can't ask for more, right?" I kissed his cheek. "I feel good, sweet boy, honestly."

"Birdie," Teddy said urgently. "Seriously?" Gray eyes searched my face to see if I was joking. "You went onstage in that dress without your knickers?"

I nodded mischievously. "Made me feel kind of sexy, during the performance, you know?"

He exhaled explosively as a man with a press pass approached me, Professor Van Dyke in tow.

"You want to feel? Just touch me, on the outside of the dress, of course, no one will see, I bet," I said kindly, smiling.

"Are you fucking kidding me? With all these bloody photographers around?" he said, running his hand through his hair in total frustration.

"Suit yourself," I said with another peaceful smile.

"You do take the prize, Birdie, my love," he said with reluctant admiration.

"Why thank you, Mr. Shelley," I said, kissing him warmly. And I grabbed his hand and slowly moved it down from my waist, following the contour of my bottom, making it completely obvious that there was nothing underneath it. His touch made me feel warm, and it obviously made him feel hot, so hot. He huffed out a breath and shook his head, wet-dog style, trying to regain his composure.

Press pass guy and the Prof were standing in front of me, and I realized that Hamilton was getting a lot of press out of my being here, because my being here had brought the boys here.

There was a huge group of people outside, trying to get in, lots of regular people and press, in addition to the people who were already in the lobby and reception hall. I was pretty sure the Hamilton Scholarship didn't usually get this kind of attention.

Press pass guy was asking me something.

"Sorry? Could you repeat that?" I asked him. The boys stood around me in a protective phalanx, smiling, enjoying my moment.

"I just wanted to know if you are worried that your choice of the Pathetique will hurt your chances, since it is one of the better known and often heard pieces? Are you concerned at all that it might be considered hackneyed?" I looked at his name tag. Kevin Millner.

"Well, Mr. Millner, I think things become well-known for a reason. The C Minor was my mother's favorite piece; it holds tremendous sentimental value for me, and I hope that came through in my performance. Professor Van Dyke has encouraged me, always, to perform in a way that will resonate for me personally, whether it's in what piece I choose, or what clothing I wear." I smiled at the professor, who nodded.

Mr. Millner turned to the professor. "Is that correct, sir? You approved her choices for tonight?" This was as close as he would come to asking if Professor Van Dyke was okay with what I was wearing.

"Oh, yes. Ms. Foster is a real trailblazer, always has been," Professor Van Dyke said in his mild voice. "She has reached a crossroads in her studies where she needs to find her own path. She has been criticized in the past, due to her extreme youth, I think, about not having an identity.

"I think those criticisms can be laid to rest now. She knows who she is, and she is not afraid to show it," he said with authority.

"Now," he said, turning to Teddy and dismissing Mr. Millner at the same time, "would you kindly get me something to drink, young man?"

"Of course, sir," said Teddy, taking off with alacrity to find him a beverage. Matthew had disappeared and returned from somewhere with a chair for him, which he insisted the professor take. The boys stood around him, talking music, looking like those gorgeous guys from Lord of the Rings, and making Professor Van Dyke look even more like Bilbo Baggins than before. I borrowed Ronan's phone and took a quick picture.

Another reporter approached Gethin, trying to get a quote about something. I didn't hear the question, but I heard Geth's response: "We're here to support Tinker Bell, and that's all. We're not going to discuss ourselves or our music tonight. If you'd like to know what I thought of her performance, I thought it was outstanding. I've heard the Sonata Pathetique performed many times before, but never with as much passion, beauty, or fearlessness as she did tonight. I think she deserves to win."

I made my way to him and hugged him, kissing his cheek. "I love Gethin Wren," I said into his ear.

He smiled at me as I made my way back to Teddy. "I love Tinker Bell', he mouthed back at me.

I hugged myself to Teddy, sipping from his champagne flute. He hugged me back, kissing my cheek.

"You," he said, looking at me with narrowed eyes.

"What?" I said.

He leaned in to whisper in my ear. "You've turned me into a walking hard-on."

I burst out laughing, causing people to around us to turn and look in our direction. "Seriously?" I stared at him. "I can't tell, if it makes you feel any better," I said. I thought about it again, and again, it made me laugh. "Sorry, I just have to tell Ronan, that's just hilarious," I said, turning to tap Ronan on the shoulder.

Teddy grabbed my hand. "I. Will. Never. Forgive. You." He said, looking at me while trying mightily not to smile.

I looked at him, trying to control my laughter. "Well, what do you want me to do? They're not really in my purse. I don't even have my purse with me; they're back in my dressing room, I can't leave and go get them right now. I mean, what if they announce the winner while I'm gone?" I started to collapse into giggles.

He looked at me, starting to laugh himself. "Jesus, Birdie, how much champagne have you had?" He grasped me around my waist, long fingers wrapping around me, pulling me close. "I love you," He said into my ear.

"I know, thank you for that, so much," I responded. "I don't even know what I would do if you didn't." I put my arms around his neck, kissing him in his hair. I suddenly felt like I was going to cry. "Jesus, Teddy, what are you doing to me, hmm? Just hold me for a sec, so the whole room doesn't see me crying and assume you just broke up with me or something, okay?"

"Okay, okay, calm down," he said, stroking my hair and leaning against a pillar. "We're just both feeling a little stress relief high, I think," he murmured. "We haven't eaten, and we've been drinking, and we're waiting for these results, so we're a little wonky, as you're so fond of saying, that's all," he soothed.

I pulled away, looking at him. "Do I look okay?" I asked.

"You look smashing," he responded. "Just stunning, truly." He looked at me. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life, and tonight is the most enchanting I've ever seen you look."

I just stared at him, too surprised to talk. As I took a breath, I heard someone tapping a microphone. We turned around, and saw a man who obviously thought of himself as Very Important tapping again at the mic, which was on the stage at one end of the room. Apparently the judges had reached their decision.

I stood next to Professor Van Dyke, whom I insisted keep his seat in the chair Matty had found for him. The boys stood in formation behind us, looking like an ad for good-looking men. Teddy and Ronan had their arms around me. I was worried about Ro, he looked like he might throw up.

Very Important man cleared his throat. He was very pleased to announce that the judging committee had made their decision, and the winner of the 2017-2019 Hamilton Piano Scholarship was Tinker Bell Foster of USC, under the tutelage of Professor Albert Van Dyke.